Beat a guy up and being forced to apologize

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December 16, 2018

If you look through my post history you'll know there's a lot of guys who hate me and talk shit about me. I've really been working a lot on being witty and using a & a.

Yesterday, we were both in debate and he was trying to roast me. I used a & a, which pissed him off. I continued using a & a, and he walked towards me and started shoving me. I started shoving back. It wasn't even a real fight, really, just us shoving each other. Anyway, I pushed him hard and he fell on his ass.

Lots of people now are texting me, telling me to apologize for 'hurting him'. A lot of these are girls, but there are a few guys as well. How do I deal with this?

Post Information
Title Beat a guy up and being forced to apologize
Author Civil_VP
Upvotes 60
Comments 115
Date 16 December 2018 12:53 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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[–]gregoire_221 points222 points  (2 children) | Copy

First of all, you didn’t beat him up. You got in a shoving contest and he was a sore loser about it. He came to you trying to start shit, he got shit, and now he’s acting surprised like a moron.

Question your friend group though. If they’re automatically making you the villain for defending yourself, they’re probably a bad group to be around.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes it is solid advice OP. Question your circle of friends, doesn’t sound like friends.

[–]KumonRoguing101 points102 points  (18 children) | Copy

All you did was defend yourself. Just ignore them. You don't apologize for handling business.

[–]MrFiles55 points56 points  (1 child) | Copy


Are you actually sorry for what you did? I doubt that or you'd say something when it happened.

This is called social pressure and if you ever want to be successful you need to learn to stand alone for what you believe if you have to

[–]lsarcreator16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you want to debate, you’re gonna have to figure out how to talk around shit like a lawyer.

Everything is politics, especially this situation. Get creative and throw the blame on him.

[–]PlzBuffBeamu8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly this^

It is the other dudes fault, he put hands on OP and OP pushed him down. The other dude pretty much pushed himself down.

Maybe the other guy shouldn’t move a verbal argument into a shoving match, OP did him a favor by only shoving him back lol.

The other guy can’t even hold composure during an argument but wants to be leader of the debate team lel

[–]fashfront50 points51 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you apologize you admit guilt. A better thing to do would be to say you like that kid but don't know why he hates you

[–]DiskKiller28 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you do apologize, do it in an I-went-completely-overboard sort of way. Send him roses and chocolate in a heart-shapes pink box and write him a poem. Maybe a pillow to rest his hurting ass on. You know, frame it your way.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar28 points29 points  (7 children) | Copy

Stop hanging out with low-quality people.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Where would I find better friends?

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Where would I find real friends, instead of punk ass bitch faggots?"


[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Do hobbies that smart people do. Go rock climbing, join Toastmasters, go salsa dancing in an upscale neighborhood, play volleyball in an upscale neighborhood.

You'd be amazed how devoid of drama and bullshit things can be.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Interesting. Debate is the defacto place for smart kids at my school, but hella drama.

Will any of those help me get into college?

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oh, you're in high school? I was assuming post-college adult.

Um... no, what helps you get into college is primarily killer grades and SAT's.

[–]Mescalean13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

A shoving match? Kids these days.

A fight is when blood is drawn. You shoved and and outed the inner pussy. Your friends outed their inner cunt/sheep mentality. Find friends more worth your time. You know that NPC meme thats been going around, avoid the bluepilled/npc’s. Nothing of value to offer

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

My whole group is from the debate team, where would I find new friends?

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't. You seem too fucking concerned about all of these people, so, your best bet would be to apologize and do whatever they say. It will be the simplest path.

[–]Mescalean-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Most people who think for themselves find each other man. What else are you into besides debate, you’ve got to like more than just that. You want to get away from “the herd”, from the sound of it they sound kinda “sjw”? Tell me if I’m wrong.

This is just weird to me. Im wondering how different our ages are because my old man told me “if you ever get in a fight bite and draw blood, most people will freak out/faint and never want to fuck with you again”. I’ve only ever bitten once. Dad was right his face went all white lol your friends are shaming you for a push back to someone who pushed you first. If you’re under 18 pop him square in the nose before it actually means anything.

[–]Dreams_of_Conquest13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

never apologize, especially not when it will be witnessed by women

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

My entire group is shunning me over not apologizing. What do I do?

[–]Dreams_of_Conquest0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"aplologize for what? he came at me"

hold frame, the girls' panties will be wet if you dont budge

[–]Red-Lantern20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Prepare a statement or give a speech at the next available moment then don't bring it up again. If you can write it in the school newspaper. Here's an example that I wrote for you as a guideline. (Plagarism may trace it back here so don't.)

"Often in a debate things get heated. The onus though is on us to remain rational at all times. Debate is a form of mutually consented combat where instead of physical altercations we trade words. Recently (insert name here) found that they were verbally outmatched and instead physically assaulted me in frustration. I take care to minimize physical violence if at all possible but I will defend myself physically just as I do verbally. I was forced to defend myself and exercised restraint once it was clear that my assailant was no longer a threat. I (will/wont) be making a complaint and (will/wont) press charges. Let's use this event as a teachable moment to allow cooler heads to prevail and remember to keep our disagreements to the verbal realm. Violence and intimidation must not be tolerated."

[–]YesToControversy2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

/end thread

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]MakeMenGreatAgain443 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Pull down your pants boy and watch the pussy come right at you. Oh and don't apologise.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Weird. My group is now kind of shunning me over not apologizing.

[–]MakeMenGreatAgain440 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Welcome to feminine society. A masculine man will be targeted pretty heavily. Watch out bro it's all out war. I ain't joking. The women can see that you are not a pussified insecure bitch like that douchebag. That's why they attack you through shaming tactics. They are essentially criticising you for standing up for your rights like a man. They have no common sense.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

You're right.

How would I find new friends?

[–]MakeMenGreatAgain440 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't know man. I don't mix with people because if their retarded behaviour. It's all manginas and masculine bitches now. Like wtf man I was at the gym the other day and this insecure beta male shit talks me to this girl. He thinks he's cool cause he orbits her thinking this will improve his image lol guy acts like a women sitting there and acting friendly towards her, probably hoping she would bang him some day. Idiot doesn't realise he makes me look cool yo her, hes literally advertising

[–]mdTrojan6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Be the asshole. Don’t apologize. That’s the captain one will follow.

[–]Lem0nzzx5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

Don't apologise and don't bother with them slags that are telling you to apologise. You done the right thing my friend, skids don't learn until violence is used against them (even though shoving isn't all that tbh).

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

What do I do now that my group is kind of shunning me over not apologizing?

[–]Lem0nzzx0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Tbh, it's their own problem for being pussyos and not accepting the fact that they started it. You just ignore them mans and carry on with your day. If it gets serious, look at the situation and react to it. Call them out, do whatever.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Where would I find better friends?

[–]Lem0nzzx0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I have no clue about your situation, like the area you live in, etc. But you can join sports clubs, etc.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Damn. I hate sports, but back to the drawing board I guess.

[–]Lem0nzzx0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I mean, there are many sports. You might find one you enjoy, if not, then any social clubs, etc?

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

There are lots of volunteering groups. Those are pretty good for meeting people, right?

[–]Lem0nzzx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No experience in volunteering but I'm sure it is.

[–]F_Dingo2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Forget about it and move on.

[–]red_matrix2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Never apologize, never surrender

[–]ggggggggee4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy


[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

What do I do now that my group is kind of shunning me over not apologizing?

[–]ggggggggee0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

They aren't people you want to associate yourself with. They showed their true colors.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Where else would I make friends?

[–]ggggggggee0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm 20, in college so my advice might not apply to your age.

Join a club, if you have a hobby find a group of people that meet up and discuss it (car club, computer club) etc. Get into a team sport or a league. Do martial arts. Just get out there.

[–]Musicgoon3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Don't fall into anyone's frame. Shit happens. They shouldn't bring up old news. He fell on his ass. That's it. You can't make him un fall.

Don't ever apologize for having standards for how you should be treated. It makes you weak. Let the chicks and white knights lick his bitter cuck taint.. Fuck that guy.. He dealt with a man and got his ass handed to him like a bitch.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

What do I do now that my group is kind of shunning me over not apologizing?

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You could ask them why they're opposed to you sticking up for yourself? Otherwise you may not want to hang out with a bunch of people that want to walk all over someone..

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I asked basically why they're mad at me for defending myself, they said I didn't need to push him on his ass and that pushing him that hard was excessively violent.

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You don't need to hang around asshole like that..

[–]mickey__1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Leave those people, forever

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

How? They're the entire group of people I hang out with.

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you spend time with them if they treat you like a shit?

[–]look_up_there3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol "beat up a guy*gtfo

[–]KrustyKrabReject2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think he got ahead of you on the narrative. Do you even know what he told people, have you been even forming your own narrative?

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

He's been telling people I shoved him on his ass.

[–]KrustyKrabReject0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"if he wants to start stuff, i'll end it."Don't apologize.

[–]Bitscoinmooning1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is gay. Who cares?

[–]_Legendairy_ 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

He instigated by not only being the first to start verbally provoking you, but also being the first to lay hands on you. You didn’t do anything wrong and didn’t even beat him up.

Take a step back and see it for what it is. Would your friends telling you to apologize gain anything from it?

[–]Qyuk1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

a & a?

[–]magicmetagic 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What is a&a?

[–]Angelrun0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I’ve rocked people in college before when I’ve been pressed and I’ve still apologized to them in the end. Just call it a night and move on you already proved you’re the alpha

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

How did you apologize? Was it sincere or mocking? Or is it just casual, like 'sorry bro"?

[–]Angelrun0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Casual. No need to mock although it’s hard not to mock when they’re on the ground. I’ve been put out on the ground before also during pledging so I try not to mock regardless

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

So would you recommend not mocking him, or is that just you doing it out of sympathy? Because I really have 0 sympathy for him.

[–]Angelrun0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you feel that way, just say sorry in a mocking way but also in a way to get the girls and those guys to shut up. They shouldn’t be backing up this kid if he pushed you first.

[–]screechhater0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not your friends and never let your personal space get compromised. Ever

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I read your posts. No wonder they don't like you. You are asocial. And secondly, your high schools is full of npc or retards. All that "popularity" bullshit you are writing about, you are really thinking in so dumb coordinates.

[–]BusterVadge0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't apologize to him. Just ignore their texts and act as if nothing happened.

[–]AshyLarry270 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

No apologizing. He lost frame and had to shove you. You apologize, you are handing him his frame back over BS. Unless he is willing to meet half way or apologize first, you're done with this person.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Done with this person how? Can I next someone I see everyday and is in my friend group?

[–]AshyLarry270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That or set straight the record of what went on. If you guys hang out, pretend it was nothing but typical "boys being boys." If he wants to act weird about it, let him. Whatever. I am going to go in more detail about the importance of being social:

People refer to a "main friend group" all the time and don't even realize that friendship is built off the convenience of things like: you guys just happen to sit next to each other in class, lived in the same neighborhood, worked at the same job, ect. Not like most people choose their friends to a T

This is IMPORTANT to understand. So many people complain about their "true" friends and how they "suck." Hang out with more people, meet more people, be social. This is important because this allows you to start getting a better idea of how people can be. You meet better people you click with and are more interesting. The irony of it is dating one chick vs spinning plates is a lot like friends to a degree. If you desperately resort to fighting for your "oneitis unicorn," you're doomed a live of misery because that is what you have limited your dating pool too. If you ONLY hang out with the same friends from grade school, its the same thing. Then you say nonsense things like "those guys are my best friends," when they are constantly talking shit about you and putting themselves before you. Then they throw you under the bus all the time. God forbid you go out to a party or bar with that group and they destroy your social status and cock block you the whole night.

Make more then one friend group. You shouldn't have to put up with someone just because they are apart of some "group" of yours. I do this and love it. Gives me variety. I get to have fun with different people who like different things.

NOW, back to your boy: He was in the wrong! Once he got physical with you first, thats it, HE was in the wrong. HE was the little bitch. NOBODY should be running over to coddle him. You make your point clear about this when you see them if they continue to convince you that you were the asshole. There is a big difference between being a complete dick and standing up for yourself. Did you break his bones? Did you send him to the hospital and now he's pay some ridiculous doctor bill? No! He fell on his ass and now "waahh, 'Civil_VP is so mean, waahhh." Don't put up with that. Again. If they give you shit, you set the record straight who started it. You can even difuse the tension with a joke like "how was I supposed to know I shoved him around a puddle and he was going to slip" to let him save face. If they continue to give you shit. You know it is time to move on from these people.

"You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most" - Jim Rohn

Do you want to be averaged in with a bitch boy who can't take a shove and a bunch of betas that stick up for the "downtrodden guy who can't defend himself"

[–]averis10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You may be autistic.

you'll know there's a lot of guys who hate me and talk shit about me.

There may be a reason behind that. Maybe you're the asshole in the picture.

[–]AnythingForCash 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Guy: shoves OP OP: shoves back Guy: Falls on ass Also guy: shocked Pikachu meme

[–]leidogbei 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Beat up is not the same as just shoving someone away.

If you beat someone up, and if they are cucks (if it was deserved) or you were an asshole (otherwise), you can expect a police report to be filed on you.

[–]CharlesChadworth0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Dont ever apologize. If anything round up all the people telling you to do so and give them one of these...

[–]phareux0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Call him a pussy


end of story

[–]PlzBuffBeamu0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

First never apologize for shit you’re not actually sorry for. Say you’ll apologize for pushing him down if he apologizes for pushing you first. He would have never been pushed down had he not put hands on you first.

Honestly I’m a calm and collected man but if someone were to try and push me aggressively I would knock them the fuck out.

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Whether you choose to explain yourself or not, if you know you did nothing wrong and he deserved it, you owe him no apology and you stick to it. I've had that shit happen to where some dipshit is being an idiot, I call him on it and put him down, and the women clueless as they are try to shame me into an apology because I'm being "mean". Fuck that noise if they don't like it they can fuck off. It's just female tactics trying to manipulate you at best, that dude is one of them, one of the girls, a beta sociopath who knows how to play the victim and the women take care of their own(even if she's in a man's body). Consider it a shit test at best.

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

What about the guys giving me shit? Are they shit testing me as well?

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It depends on the individual and their intentions. Someone like me would joke about it in a non hostile way, others might be trying to tear you down. The latter your goal is to not let them drag you down to their level(especially since being elected means you are above them and thus have to show that through your actions). Yes it's a shit test.

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

no apology required - man, i wouldnt even respond to these people - fuck that you are moving on with your life and improving . at least you know A & A works !

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Thanks man.

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

im thinking it's like this, too: the ladies rebuking you are in group think/consensus/rolling with the majority.

Once you show higher frame, they will find you more valuable

[–]Civil_VP 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, you're probably right.

The thing is, he's achieved a lot but still has a ridiculously weak frame- for example, literally crying when he lost a debate. But the group respects him for his debate abilities, and plus he's the leader/'smartest' person in the group.

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

look at it like this, too. If you don't apologize, you'll lose a temporary battle and not make the debate team at worst.

If you do apologize, you are losing part of YOU, your frame and self. You could very well wind up regretting it later more so than regretting not making the debate team.

just ask if the risk of not apologizing is worth the reward - i think it is worth it - could be a win win - you keep your frame PLUS make the debate team

[–]fartlord69 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

What’s A & A

[–]gregoire_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree and amplify

[–]carbonhexoxide0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It means read the sidebar

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Already got my answer

[–]samraat65-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

agree and amplify if im not wrong

[–]Velebit-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

That is not a debate, that is a verbal fight. Debate is supposed to be civilized and regard a certain point.

[–]ByakkoVN-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You definitely need to apologize. For shoving a bitch.


[–]Lambdal7-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re trying to be auch a hardass and agree and amplify seems to be the only behaviour you know how to be witty and fun.

Stop trying to be sucu an edgelord all the time and simply be easy to talk to. Deescalate jokes, say it’s because you’re insecure, act gay, act feminine. Much funnier and women will find you much more funny and interesting. Still, don’t just switch between being gay, edgy, alpha all the time. This is what beginners do often. Be completely normal 90% of the time and 1% a little gay, 1% a little feminine, 2% somewhat alpha, 5% funny.

[–]Shittybillyall-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Golden rule Never apologize

[–]icy_ghost95-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]EpCoSpIm-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is a&a? Abbreviations and Acronyms?

You know what faggot, you should apologize. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about when you abbreviate stupid things that shouldn't be abbreviated. You don't even understand the concept of communication, you should be apologizing to this guy, and to everybody you've ever communicated with you autistic fuck.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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