I need to get some shit off of my chest, but r/offmychest banned me for explaining how this bothers me

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May 22, 2018

Feminism, by definition, is about equality amongst men and women. It was started when women were kept from doing certain things simply because they were women. Nowadays there's not a whole lot of that. Sure, sexism is still widespread throughout the world, but women (in America at least) seem to have the upper hand in a lot of aspects of life. If you bring this topic up for discussion, however, no one is willing to talk about it. You'll quickly be silenced and/or rejected by the majority who believe they need to blindly agree with an idea simply because it's a hot topic. No one wants to feel isolated from the rest of society.

My first problem with third wave (modern) feminism is that it's called feminism when it's about equality. I personally feel like it would draw more serious attention if it wasn't all about women (which, theoretically, it isn't supposed to be)

My second issue with feminism is that this concept, that supposedly revolves around equality for all, never talks about issues pertaining to the male gender (higher rate of suicide, higher rate of homelessness, sexual assault, etc.) if you even try to flip the coin you are immediately shot down by a bunch of man haters who won't listen to anyone that has opposing views. The responses are always the same "you're stupid" "you're a pig" "sexist asshole" there's never any elaborate dialogue so most people won't even touch the issue.

My third issue with feminism is that it's become a hypocrisy based on individual feelings and very very VERY loosely based on fact. If I were to touch a girl's arm at work and she complained I sexually harassed her I would be fired and possibly sued. If that same girl were to touch my arm and I complained that it made me feel uncomfortable, people would laugh in my face. My old bosses sister in law would grab me by the hips from behind when no one else was around. I told my friend about it and he thought it was funny. If I had done the same thing to her though, I can assure you, again, I would be fired and possibly sued.

There was an article online about all male bands using female sounding band names. Feminists were upset and called for a boycott because they believed it was for these bands to draw more of a crowd. They said female bands used to have to use male sounding band names just to get attention so this wasn't fair. That's a double standard and the complaint makes no fucking sense. No one listens to music because they like the band's name. We listen to music because we like the band.

(Side Note: if you're going to boycott something that literally causes no harm to anyone, then don't post statuses or articles about it. That's free publicity.)

Much like cops, not all feminists are bad. There are some who genuinely believe in equality for all. Also like cops, a lot of feminists give their organization a bad name.

I whole heartedly believe in equality, but I am NOT a feminist. So I'd like to propose a new movement for equality. We'll call it humanism and actually work towards making the world a better place instead of blocking roads with large, screaming mobs carrying megaphones.

Post Information
Title I need to get some shit off of my chest, but r/offmychest banned me for explaining how this bothers me
Author TheUpvoteVigilante
Upvotes 28
Comments 8
Date 22 May 2018 07:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit antifeminists
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/708955
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/antifeminists/comments/8l8829/i_need_to_get_some_shit_off_of_my_chest_but/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
double standardsfeministfeminism

[–]TheFutureIsMale7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've been fed a lie that feminism is about equality and you've realized the truth.
Welcome to r/MensRights

[–]Pz58 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Feminism is about promoting female chauvinism.

[–]BlatantNapping2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

I don't know if I'm not allowed to post here because I am going to comment from a feminist perspective. If this isn't allowed on this subreddit please let me know.

Egalitarianism is the belief that all people deserve equal rights and opportunities. Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of equality of the sexes. "Humanism" is also a term that has been coined before.

Because you believe that "women have the upper hand in a lot of aspects of life" there aren't going to be many fruitful discussions with feminists, because we believe exactly the opposite and our whole mission is to advocate against it.

Also, the reason that feminism doesn't address the men's issues that you've mentioned is because they're outside the scope of feminism. That doesn't mean that many of us don't think they're important, but they're often brought up to us as whataboutisms, for example "you feminists think X is a bad thing, but what about male suicide!" Yes, that's a terrible thing. If we were to talk about it we might agree on some root causes. But when antifeminists bring up mens issues, it's often framed in a way that attempts to dismiss the issues we see with women's rights.

Lastly, I didn't see the thing about male bands with female names. That sounds silly.

EDIT: grammar

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I appreciate the response. It's important to look at such issues from every possible perspective.

I'm not insinuating all feminists are the same. I'm stating that feminism has become something completely different from its original, intended purpose.

Women have the upper hand more than they let on. I have a lot of old friends who have girlfriends that completely own them. "Sorry man, I can't hang out. My girlfriend is mad." Shit like that. I knew a girl who would call her dad every time her boyfriend did something she didn't like. And the dad would make empty threats to the boyfriend.

My dad is a piece of shit (I'll just point that out real quick) but he lost custody of my two half brothers and still had to pay child support even though his ex wife made way more money than him. My own sister poked holes in her husbands condoms so she could get pregnant. Ive had girls lie to me about being on birth control (my ex). I agree that a woman's body gets bed her the right to choose or lose the baby growing inside her, but tricking the father into getting her pregnant is absolutely disgusting and happens too often.

There are plenty of issues on both sides of the spectrum, and men and women both contribute to them. If feminism is not about equality then feminists should quit saying that it is. And they do say that.

You said your self that you refer to men's issues as whataboutism. What if we did that with feminism? People would lose their fucking minds. The world is a fucked up place and we keep pointing fingers at each other, but that only feeds the beast and pulls our attention away from more important issues (like human trafficking, child pornography, animal torture and all of the other tremendously fucked up shit on the dark web)

We obviously have opposing views for the most part... but I respect that. And, as always, upvotes for everyone!

[–]BlatantNapping1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I respect your views as well, and I'm for people continuing to have discussions about these things to try and make the world a better place. I'm sorry you have had a bad experience with feminists. People can represent good ideas in imperfect ways, and it's something that happens no matter what cause you care about. Take care!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You too!

[–]TheFutureIsMale5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because you believe that "women have the upper hand in a lot of aspects of life" there aren't going to be many fruitful discussions with feminists, because we believe exactly the opposite and our whole mission is to advocate against it.

LMAO. Name one law that discriminate against women

You believe in fucking faery tales

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

To be clear i got banned from askfeminist so i got questions Why mansplaining? Why no womensplaining? Why do you believe in the gender wage gap when its a myth? Why do you thing abortion is right? Its literally killing a child?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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