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"11 Reasons to NOT get married" review

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June 1, 2019
73 upvotes

Article here
I will be responding to each point in this poor excuse of an argument by numerical order. I've already read both the subheadings and ellaboration for each point, but will be copy-pasting (just) the subheading since it's more convenient. Just to make this clear, I only speak in run on sentances, so be warned.

1) Despite the modern PC sheen of “inclusivity” and “equality,” marriage is still that same old patriarchal institution
Yes, the original idea of marriage was to strap woman to man so that the child/ren they had were the father's (no wonder adultery and havind children out of wedlock were so heavily frowned upon). Yet as we all know, that idea of marriage is severely outdated (not to mention toxic) and is no longer apart of the "modern" concept of marriage. I cannot doubt that plenty of people still practice that idea of marriage, but I don't think that's a good enough reason for people to just not get married because there's other awful people out there.

2) Marriage benefits men and not women
I read the first item linked and almost wheezed out my spaghetti. It's a moderately short page, I'll admit. I was hoping it would make up for it with some actual informative research, but apparently not. I did find "women experience greater physiological and psychological reactivity to marital discord because they typically occupy subordinate (lower status and less powerful) positions relative to their husbands" (for full context, please click on the link to the site) rather intresting, to say the least. I don't know how they got this information or who actually conducted this study, the methods used, ect. Basically, this entire page is useless. If you can't state your sources, don't even both quoting them. I'd also like to point out that, even without marriage, a woman can still be in a less "powerful" position than their male partner.

3) Being a wife sucks
I must admit, a point was indeed made here. I can see this kind of mentality being glorified in the early to mid 1900s and probably by my homophobic cousin, too. Sadly enough for SUSAN COX, this isn't some 90s sitcom. The bumbling oaf trait is mostly performed in comedic television, such as The Simpsons (E.G Home Simpson, in particular). However, comedies, such as The Simpons, are just that; comedies. Comedies produced to entertain. A bumbling oaf can certainly create some more hilarious scenarios than a serious lawyer (then again, it would depend the audeince's taste in humour). If you prefer the latter, there is a wide selection of comedies featuring multiple head-strong characters (Mrs Brown, bless my poor soul you abosulte Godess).

Your whole point on women's employment options/payment doesn't seem to correlate to why somebody shouldn't marry (or you havn't pointed out the link between these two topics), so that's all I have to say on the matter. The whole beauty standard thing doesn't seem to have anything to do with marriage, besides the whole "a pretty/handsome face could land you a secure, stable marriage!" thing. SUSAN COX said that women are expected to change themself for the male desire, and although I do not agree with that, I'm going to pretend I do for a second. A woman being expected by external groups to do herself up for her future husband doesn't affect her quality of marriage, unless she were to marry an utter douche. In that case, it's not marriage that's at vault, but rather the husband. "Don't marry because maybe your husband is bad person" seems to be the moral of the story

4) If you’re getting married thinking you’ll never be lonely again, buckle up, because marriage is totally isolating!
I'm going to be honest here, SUSAN COX, this point was quite articulate. Here, take my internet points. I have no reason to doubt that marriage is isolating, and not wanting marriage to take a toll on your social life is totally reasonable. Marriage is more binding (on both parties), due to how difficult actually filing for a divorce can actually be (and other contributing factors).

5) The sex stops being good
Ah, SUSAN COX, more internet points for you. Men usually do have a higher sex drive then women (not always the case!), so it makes sense how it could be both emotionally and physically draining for the party with a lower "drive". Overall, good point

6) and 7) relates to my mention on divorce in 4)

8) Getting married doesn’t make you an adult.
I found this one (to my happy surprise) funny and not because I didn't like what they had to say. Yet, it was ruines by the sudden jab at the "patriarchy". It depends on the type of relationship you have with your husband that will decide whether or not he's a "man-owner". If you marry an abusive spouse, it's not your fault, but you can't blame marriage itself for shitty people.

9) Weddings are overrated
Fair enough, really. Weddings usually do put people off from marriage.


Post Information
Title "11 Reasons to NOT get married" review
Author The_ConfusedPeach
Upvotes 73
Comments 9
Date 01 June 2019 03:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit antifeminists
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/710610
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/antifeminists/comments/bvlupb/11_reasons_to_not_get_married_review/
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Comments

[–]CplJackHallowsUSMC8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well to be fair, when your name is literally Sue Cox, you pretty much already have your life planned out for you.

[–]The_ConfusedPeach[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sister to Karen Cox

[–]Diogenes--9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women are children. What they call "patriarchy" was just good parenting. Of course the child never sees it that way. The child doesn't understand why it's bad to eat all the candy, or stay up too late, or skip the shower / brushing teeth.

I mean just look at what feminism has given women. They have never been unhappier. They're in massive debt (student loan + credit card) since, being children, they have no impulse control - they control 83% of all consumer spending ffs. $500 haircuts, weekly trips to the tanning salon (god forbid you get sun in the yard, it's like they spend money just for the thrill of spending it), designer everything, etc. Their alcoholism rate is skyrocketing while mens' is dropping slightly. About 25% take prozac.

But whatever, they want it, they got it. Women with high N-counts disgust me, and every modern woman has one. I'm basically asexual since the type of woman I like doesn't exist. Most men enjoy being alone and I'm no exception. The marriage tradeoff was that we pay their way and put up with their dumb shit, and in exchange we stuck our dick in them once in a while. Now they have no one to pay their way or put up with their shit, and I can get by with an occasional wank while enjoying my hobbies. No listening to hamstering about how she just had to spend that $5,000 on dumb shit, or 5 hours of daily whining about that bitch at work she hates so much. If anything, feminism liberated men, not women. Lol.

[–]The_ConfusedPeach[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

88

[–]sam123cherif7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Laughter intensifies

[–]Username16421 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The first point basically boiled down to: "All marriage is patriarchy (even same-sex marriage for some reason), therefore don't get married". It didn't even give evidence. It didn't give examples. It didn't give reasons. It just said "this is the case. F**k men. Actually, don't"

The second point came down to: "Marriage makes men happy. It doesn't make a difference to you. Don't get married, because it risks making a man happy". The first source didn't show the paper or explain the test. The second put the title over the first four pages and I got bored and abandoned it (so I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and say it was valid), but it was used to prove that if you marry a man, he'll make more money (which you'll also get 🤦‍♂️). The third (which I again didn't bother to read, so again I'll give it the benefit of the doubt) was saying that it makes a man happy. Oh, the horror.

The third was saying that stay-at-home wives should have to do housework because they spend as much time doing housework as the man does doing work. Also outrage over the fact that a wife isn't paid for housework (you have the same f***ing bank account, whoever's working 🤦‍♂️(at this rate of faceplaming, I'll end up with a therapist for self-harm)).

Point four was basically summarised by a single quote: "In other words, you can have [only] friends during your free time". Because men are allowed to head down to the pub and chat with their mates over a pint regardless of work 🤦‍♂️.

Point five was valid

Point six seems valid, but on the other hand, if you decide you do want to have kids, it can be nice to have the extra security. Also, you don't need to worry about him cheating on you or dumping you. Yes, if you're married, you can't run off with someone else, but neither can he.

[–]AlicornGamer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

weddings are really disliked by many people because there's no point in being stick with a person you end up not liking anymore forever. Miarrages are thousands of pounds and divorces arent cheap eother. then theres that thing where the partners get an equal split of everything... fuck that bit because what if one person owns more stuff thanthe other. like one collects lets say expensive vintage cars and the other's only collection is books? One vintage car is probably worht more if sold than a book for the most part...

[–]Boggob150 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

- Marriage absolutely benefits more men than it does women.

- Marriage was (is) a utility to limit the option of the outlier of men (top 20%) who benefited from "free-range" sexuality. The benefit in this lead to a more civilized society, i.e "the nuclear family", social and economic stability

- As we are all able to see in are current desexualized market, 30% of young men/millennia's went without sex this year. Also the tinder experiment and other multitude of experiments of the sexual market (deconstruction) is appalling and the consequences are yet unknown.

[The irony of this is, the top 20 percent of men in any cohort (currently talking about 20-35), have so many option, which in-turn turns them off to commitment (from the varying degree of sexual activity which make it impossible to pair-bonds). Women in are current cohort would rather go through the career route and go DECADES struggling and negating approaches of every other men to focus on to tying down an attractive guy/quality guy.]

[Also to add to this the recent press of 40 somethings (men) dating younger women, i.e Leonardo Dicaprio.]

- Women benefited from marriage from the standpoint of having a partner who provided security for them as they raised their children. Nowadays not so much.

- It is in a women's best interest to find the most high value male she can find and pair-bond with him.

- Our society is on a downturn. We will continue to see a decline in birthrate and marriages.

[–]The_ConfusedPeach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

- Source? Stats? Context? Ect?
- I can't exactly disagree

- I don't see how men going without sex realtes to this post. What kind of experiment? There are so many Tinder experiments out there. Can you provide links to the results?
- I mean, if they want to go through that trouble of landing a man because they find the outcome worth it, that's their choice. I'd recommend they not push themselves, though.
[If it's legal, I have no problem]
- It now depends on the relationship, which is good

- Naturally or should it be?

Naturally: Maybe for some women I guess?

It should be: She could sustain herself (and her partner) if she wanted to. Whether or not that's an ideal choice depends on her situation (E.G Income, sustainability, education). This also applies to men.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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