Why do women purposefully lie to men about what they are attracted to ?

AwesomeTheKid · 2018-12-19T12:10:10+00:00

Not sure if it's the correct term in the context, but not saying what they mean is a type of ASD. Women don't want to be labelled as sluts. That's why you look at their actions and don't listen to their words.

They want things to "just happen". They know what society expects them to say, and that's what they do. That's why you pretend to never judge a girl who tells you how slutty she is, because she could be that slutty for you if she doesn't feel like you care, or that you will tell other people and ruin her chances of getting laid.

Read the sidebar for more. Seriously.

Also, someone is shadowbanned.

GeuseyBetel · 2018-12-19T14:43:46+00:00

It's totally subconscious: women don't understand what they're attracted to.

Their hamster tries to rationalize it, that's where we get "where are all the nice guys?" This is RP 101.

As for why they drop RPs in groups of women, it's probably because they feel comfortable, and can explore their psyche without the pressure of society.

tacospitter · 2018-12-19T13:52:17+00:00

Women are generally attracted to men that make them feel okay with who they are (equally true for men),

If a woman had a successful childhood with balanced parenting, she is likely to be attracted to a balanced mate in adulthood.

If a woman was neglected emotionally or physically by her father, she will typically seek out men that treat her similarly, because she attributes value to this behavior.

This is true for men as well, but usually more accurate for women because they tend to embrace their emotions more regularly.

Strong insecurity is generally indicative of issues with self-worth, which is often tied to childhood trauma. Insecurity in young women manifests often with a need to be the most attractive person in the room. If you are only talking to the most attractive women you see, you are very likely to continually meet women who are not well adjusted, and form jaded opinions about women in general.

When you meet a hot girl, ask yourself: why is she hot? Being an attractive woman requires a great deal of work. Is it coming from a place of negativity or positivism? Is she putting forth this effort simply because she needs male validation to feel okay? If you’re just trying to get laid it doesn’t matter, but if you want LTR material, keep looking for a hot girl who comes from a positive background.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-12-19T12:53:56+00:00

Assuming women always know what they're doing, are in control of themselves at all times or are doing everything deliberately and on purpose is still pedestalization . Stop assuming women are in control of things. They're mostly just flailing around and trying to figure out how they feel and what they want as they go.

TFWnoLTR · 2018-12-19T16:12:47+00:00

They think they're doing their sons a favor by teaching them not to be Chads. Chad gets the most manipulative and selfish of women, in her eyes. Why didn't Chad choose a good girl like me? He always goes for bitches and sluts! I dont want my son to have to deal with those kinds of women. He needs a nice girl. A girl like me. For that he needs to be a provider and a romantic.

It's pretty simple.

Puddles503 · 2018-12-19T13:23:47+00:00

They like more alpha masculine men around ovulation and more beta men the rest of the time. Hypothetically because the men that look good genetically to women for breeding arn't always the best long term choice for stability of caring for offspring. So....both options are true and it's their evolutionary imperative to both choose the good genetic material but also get the kid raised.

2ndLion · 2018-12-19T12:35:16+00:00

My mom never told me girls liked nice guys. She told me they licked mysterious strong men. You can't put all girls into the same box.

Women - like men are different, some will say the truth some will lie. What anyone can't deny is that women like masculine men. They might be together with a beta bux, but they will always laugh and smile for an Alpha.

I have to add: It's society that makes women say that shit, they don't know that it's not the truth.

send_it_for_the_boys · 2018-12-19T12:36:14+00:00

I think They expect the man to just know what to do.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2018-12-19T13:24:48+00:00

Plausible deniability.

A few things. Women don't want to be seen as subservient. They want their cake at the eat it, too. They want to tell the world of men to be nice and sensitive, as it helps to stop a part of patriarchal society. They tell enough men to stop being men, they believe it will lower competition, in this game of life...whilst still fucking the men who stay men.

Many are also wounded, and have been hurt by strong alpha types, so instead of saying 'oh, be like those men who I couldn't land and fucked me over'...it's their wounded side saying 'oh, just be nice...and you won't be like those horrible men'.

The don't want to admit, strong alpha types are the shit. They can't control them, so let's try to stop others being like it.

IF they didn't promote beta types...then no man would believe in being beta...and women wouldn't get their providers. That's the main reason to me. Falsely promoting beta as what they want, in order to assure some men mould themselves to be the beta providers so many women need.

CainPrice · 2018-12-19T21:26:45+00:00

Women do not "purposefully lie" to men about what they are attracted to. You're just weird or autistic or something.

Everybody in the universe knows that women want to have sex with men that they are physically attracted to and do not want to have sex with men that they are not physically attracted to.

Therefore, when a woman tells you "I prefer nice guys over assholes", what she is telling you is, "Among the group of men that I am physically attracted to and only among that group of men, I prefer the ones that are nice over the ones that are assholes."

With regard to the ones she isn't physically attracted to, she doesn't give a shit if they're nice or not and when they act nice to her and are surprised she doesn't want to have sex with them, it's offensive that they don't know better.

Nobody is lying to you. People are just assuming you're smarter than you are by assuming that you already know that people like to have sex with people that aren't ugly.

Women don't dislike "nice" men. They dislike unattractive men who are nice to them. They would rather have sex with an attractive guy who is not nice than an unattractive guy who is nice. But everybody knows this. Nobody lied to you.

When somebody tells you "Women like nice men", it's your own brain that's interpreting this as "women only like nice men and don't care about any other characteristic and therefore looks don't matter and attractive behaviors don't matter and it's all about being nice". Nobody said that. Nobody lied to you.

ttann71 · 2018-12-19T12:33:28+00:00

Because it truthfully all comes down to behavior with women. Truth in their actions, they will spit out false truths (that fit their narrative, and whole heartedly believe) like it’s nothing. Always actions before whatever the hell they say.

Zanford · 2018-12-19T21:26:02+00:00

Many reasons

They crave the best genes. If they admit they like muscles so you work out more....that's not really what they crave; they crave the idea of 'naturally looks like He-Man genetics' (even though you and I know that physique is 90% effort 10% genes)
They want you to work harder, buy them shit etc. If they say 'they just like height' that doesn't incentive the guy to work harder, as he can't really change his height. So they might 'hint' how amazing Hawaii would be in the hope he will buy them a 'surprise' trip that he pays for
ASD. Girls think (and it's probably true) that admitting to liking certain things, like physique, is 'sluttier' than liking "a great personality" (whatever the hell that is). So they lie to themselves, to each other, and to you.
They have an incentive to pretend like they are attracted to certain mysterious, unique, personality compatibility to make the relationship feel Special .Also if they just admit they'll go for whomever the hottest guy is, they sound like more of a cheating risk
AF/BB. They want some things for seed, and other things for provisioning. Admitting the dual nature of their attraction would be to admit they are a cheating and cuckolding risk. They want to convince their BB that he is also their AF

[deleted] · 2018-12-19T15:43:23+00:00

The two most common situations:

They don't know what they want.
They have to appear to want what they've been told they're supposed to want (eg: nice guys).

Whisper · 2018-12-20T03:15:41+00:00

Because it never occurs to them to tell the truth.

For men, language is a tool for conveying information... and sometimes they decide to convey false information.

For women, language is for influencing what others believe... and sometimes the desired belief happens to align with the truth.

El_Serpiente_Roja · 2018-12-19T17:48:02+00:00

Most women dont even really know themselves and will say what they wish they liked

Datanami · 2018-12-19T18:43:06+00:00

Because they also want nice guys! For comfort, validation, money etc. They're not lying. They do need beta men, almost as much (if not more) than they need alpha men. In the end, a beta male is necessary for a women in her life. An alpha male is here for pleasure and instant gratification.

Keep in mind that I talk about archetypal alpha and beta here. Every man displays some traits of each depending on his own mental state and the relationship he's engaged in.

Caper67 · 2018-12-19T22:26:06+00:00

Rollo Tomosi touches on this in the Rational Male. He says women want a man who "gets it."

So if she has to tell him what would make her feel attracted then that means he doesent get it because he needed to be told. But it's more subconscious and covert than that.

A lot like divorced husbands who say if she'd just tell me what to do to make her love me again then I'd do it. Not knowing that the verbalization of that statement and the belief in open overt communication is what killed their woman's attraction to them in the first place.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-12-19T23:41:28+00:00

Girls are retarded. It’s just that simple.

dulkemaru51 · 2018-12-20T03:59:25+00:00

It's not purposeful, it's a subconscious shit-test.

Women's only goal is to get male investment. That is it.

Women are always trying to get investment from men, always.

The more alpha a man is, the harder his investment is to get, and the more women will want it (+ the hornier he makes them).

The more alpha a man is, the better his provider potential is, the more effective a killer and provider he could potentially be. Ergo, the more his commitment is desired by women. And again, the more they want to fuck him as well, because the more alpha he is, the better provider potential he has, thus, the better provider potential her sons would have, by virtue of his genes.

Women want male investment / commitment / provisioning. That. Is. It.

That is what a shit-test is for; to break his alpha frame, in order to get from him that which she wants -- which is male investment. Sure, shit-tests are also utilized to test frame, but it's the other side of the coin.

"I bet you have a small dick." and "Don't go to the gym, spend time with me." are sides of the same coin. They are meant to obstruct your path. One is used to see if you'll stay on your path, but so is the other. BOTH are used to break your frame, because: WOMEN WANT MALE INVESTMENT, and their manner of acquiring it is by breaking your frame and getting you to enter their frame.

Women do want all those things that mothers tell their sons that they want. They want male investment. The reason that mothers aren't telling their sons that they ought to remember that if they indeed do those things for a woman (without her working for them), they will die virgins, is that mothers don't know shit about their own natural inclinations, because they're women.

Again, women want male investment and they go about it by attacking a man's frame. The harder it's to break, the more they want his investment, and the more they want his investment, the more they want to fuck him, because her desire for his investment indicates his provider potential, which in turn indicates superior genetics. It's not that women don't want the fuckboi's commitment, they want it more than anything in the world, but even if they got it, they don't trust it, so they take the safe BB instead. 50 shades is the ultimate fantasy for a woman; the alphaest / most attractive man in the world, i.e. the man with the most provider potential in the world, who's commitment she eventually got, all to herself. It's not like the HB5.5 heroine in 50 shades would've preferred her faggot bestie for marriage over Mr. Grey, after having fucked Mr. Grey.

CanYouEvenCount · 2018-12-19T12:08:07+00:00

Because they’ve watched movies, society has told them this is the type of guy you should find attractive (the nice guy) but they just can’t rid the natural attraction they have for the bad boy who doesn’t treat them the way the nice guy in movies does. In turn she gets but hurt and wants to mould her little prince into the nice guy from the movies

chomponthebit · 2018-12-19T15:23:15+00:00

Watch what bitches do, not what they say!

johnpua2345678 · 2018-12-19T16:38:21+00:00

No, it is not complex at all. It may seem complex to betas who think every woman is an "individual" and you can not predict/generalize their behaviour. But women are as simple as men, just that they operate differently from men. For instance, women do not want to be perceived as shallow so they claim they like nice guys in public yet bang jerks in their bedrooms.

King-Manlet · 2018-12-19T16:51:15+00:00

Imagine if a girl said to you she’s attracted to 6ft intelligent rich white hulks. Few people meet that harsh criteria but women can afford to be picky. You’d start jumping to conclusions about what she’s like and just think she’s shallow person. We light to pretend that women are with us because of our great personality and humour. Chads especially love to pretend that.

Velebit · 2018-12-19T18:27:48+00:00

Because a lot of them are silly and feebleminded enough not to ever actually analyze all this shit. Attention, sex and resources just fall on them so there is never any need for reflective self analysis like we men have to do.

Many preety men also have no clue wtf they want because they are either stupid or just to lazy to think too much about it.

furcryingoutloud · 2018-12-19T19:07:42+00:00

I think you've just hit on what the real debate should be about. And I am going to make an attempt to define it in this comment, though don't think by any means that it will be a perfect comment.

I think this all began with religion. Basically, the rules of every religion have managed to create a world of hypocritical behaviors. If you think about it, it is impossible to comply with all the demands that religion has placed on humanity. No sex before marriage, no masturbation, no peeking. It just goes on and on. So what did people do? They lied. Only the very few were/are able to stick to the program. And those very few are all very, very boring.

A lot of people don't see it, but the remnants of religious behavior is still very embedded in our society. Long story short. Humans lie. Women will hide their secretes better than men because they have, historically, more to lose than men do. And even today, where it matters less, well, old habits die hard.

The underlying problem increases exponentially when women are raising males and failing to teach them about this little left over quirk from long ago. The result is you OP, and at some point wondering why the fuck you weren't told the truth while growing up and have to find it yourself on an internet forum for men. But if you grew up without proper fatherhood, well, you can see where I'm going with this. Men brought up by single mothers are missing half the equation.

Enter the Red Pill.

From my point of view, the Red Pill is much, much more than a road map for how to get laid. It is the missing chapters for the men who have been brought up by a single mother or whose father is so blue he looks like a martian from the old comics. The Red Pill, at the very least will show men what the rules are. The real rules, not the ones that society has been drumming into our heads for centuries. And people wonder why the sub is attacked.

RedHoodhandles · 2018-12-19T20:08:06+00:00

Don't ask fish how to fish.

icecruzader · 2018-12-19T12:58:39+00:00

Some don't know what they really want. Others lie out if being nice and others because they think it's what the man wants to hear, because who they like says something about them. Other lie because the fuck is this cuck asking, he should know.

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-12-19T13:19:57+00:00

It's actually very very simple.

For women, the only real currency is information. So giving you information that is the truth is like you giving money away for nothing. This is why the stoic man, the man who doesn't talk about himself much, is so fascinating to a woman. She really wants to know his story.

All the things they do to get attention are deliberately designed to show only their best features, and hide anything they don't like about themselves. Big boobs? Push up bra and cleavage for all the world to see. Small boobs, but she has an ass? Pictures are all from behind. Pretty face? Pictures focus on her face, and her makeup is always perfect.

It's all about controlling information.

MagnumBurrito · 2018-12-19T15:23:46+00:00

Society has made it not okay for womens true desires to be spoken. It's okay. Use this to your advantage. 99% of guys won't.

[deleted] · 2018-12-19T17:59:35+00:00

It's just canned media propaganda they parrot out automatically. They cant help it.

People of all kinds do this on all your hot button topics.

See religion See politics See parenting See healthy living

SpecialistParticular · 2018-12-19T18:14:37+00:00

Life is a game.

T-P-T-W-P · 2018-12-19T18:17:09+00:00

A combination of a couple things imo and it’s kind of already been said in other comments. Women are highly influenced by the media they consume so they watch these dumb rom coms and reality tv shows that suggest that good looking men who go all out for “the one” is what all men should ultimately aspire to be. Also because the percentage of men that are incredibly physically attractive to them (tall, muscular, handsome, big dick, etc.) is so low, expressing that those are the men they truly want to fuck will get them judged by both the overwhelming majority of men as well as by many other women who have no chances of experiencing a man of that level. In short, it really comes down to just how much more their public “face” is influenced by the sociocultural factors that surround them rather than their primal wants and needs. There is a reason that for our entire genetic existence, women have filled the role of follower rather than leader. But don’t get caught saying that or you’ll be crucified by the overarching liberalism we’ve somehow come to accept as the right path for our society.

nantucketghost · 2018-12-19T18:52:10+00:00

It's not a lie on purpose. They may know they need X, but given the chance they will pounce on Y (aka chad).

Think of it like this and a guy's point of view: You need a reasonable sensible car to get to work. Any sensible car will really do. But when you go to pick up the car and the dealer says that instead of sensible you can have this OTHER hotrod of a car that's ten times better for the same price. Will you take it?

Yet the sensible car will do right?

Women will look at men the same way. They know what they need, but given the chance, they will go after the want if everything else is equal. Meaning there is no downside for them.

If there is a downside - family shame, loss of security, income, etc. Then the need over weighs the want.

jm51 · 2018-12-19T19:12:19+00:00

White males have been under pressure wrt honesty of opinion for only a few generations and look at the % of them that are soy boys.

A few thousand years of similar pressure has happened to women. That's not going to disappear anytime soon.

You might as well ask why Swedish men stay within the opinion corridor instead of saying it as they see it.

58021 · 2018-12-19T21:34:07+00:00

Society needs providers

DadOnDabs · 2018-12-19T21:49:48+00:00

It's as if all this behavior they want you to exhibit will somehow benefit them. Strange

youareshandy · 2018-12-19T22:26:19+00:00

Because you're asking two different questions. You're asking women what they find attractive in a man. With this question you'll get the provider response.

You need to ask what turns a woman on and you'll get the alpha male.

What you need to be is man in every aspect: in shape, decisive, bold, funny, strong, me first attitude and then at the same time you have to be caring, kind, considerate, affectionate, and a provider.

It's not hard to do both. Knowing what to be and when to be what is gained through experience.

[deleted] · 2018-12-20T03:32:36+00:00

Why do men lie when women ask them if they look fat in any given pair of pants?

Self preservation.

[deleted] · 2018-12-20T08:01:15+00:00

It's not just women. You could ask the same question about "Why do people lie about what they want to do with their life?"

The answer is what people say and do are often completely different. This is because people often don't know what they want. In a life so full of distractions, a clear sense of identity or direction is hard to maintain.

account_for_rel · 2018-12-20T20:06:25+00:00

They are attracted to the journey to destiny, but they feel the destiny is what they want. So they are not willfully lying.

e.g. They like to figure out a mysterious man piece by piece, and hate that he doesnt reveal himself. They feel they like the destiny of a man who 'communicates and tells them everything'. But in reality, if you do that, they ll lose interest in you. You have to realize they like the journey, the experience of the journey,... not the destiny.

Drakane1 · 2018-12-19T20:41:49+00:00

STOP. they do like nice men he is nice because he is handsome confidence dresses well and socially comfortable. just like when you say you want a nice girl it includes her being attractive and not being a cunt

Classic_Touch · 2018-12-19T14:20:08+00:00

Can only speak for myself. However, sick of a*sshole men. So much I could careless if I ever get with another man in my life time.

Title	Why do women purposefully lie to men about what they are attracted to ?
Author	johnpua2345678
Upvotes	141
Comments	111
Date	19 December 2018 11:57 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/71068
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a7lrvr/why_do_women_purposefully_lie_to_men_about_what/