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Have any of you wasted large chunks of your life

Reddit View
December 21, 2018

Pretty sure I just wasted 5 years of my life being depressed and having absolutely nothing to show for it. I literally closed myself off from the world and dropped out of college, now here I am trying to get my shit back together at 22

Post Information
Title Have any of you wasted large chunks of your life
Author whitecauliflower
Upvotes 120
Comments 92
Date 21 December 2018 06:48 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K18163 points164 points  (3 children) | Copy

22???? You are a baby, mate. Take it as learning about what frame of mind didn't work, and how you want to develop.

Read sidebar, read literature, and keep striving.

Fuck...dude, I'm a recovering addict. I dealt drugs, did drugs, did high crime and ended up with nothing. At 33.

I realised it didn't matter. Unless I make it matter. I use it, to make and assert a stronger frame. I went through the now my head is strong, so I reach my goals...I know more about life than most women would ever EVER get...and if you aren't onboard to have fun, next. I'm not going backwards.

There are many in worse positions than you

[–]imtheoneimmortal29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

Gucci mane did so many shit but look him now With business music car house and hot wife and athletic body

[–]slayer-booty39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gucci mane was cloned

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K188 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, it toughens us up, builds frame or breaks people. Our choice

[–]LightCrazy40 points41 points  (5 children) | Copy

Luckily I found this place and had some deeply hurting experiences at the same time while also being young, but very few people go down this path. Most of us here wasted way more than 5 years of our lives, depending how you define wasting it.

The thing is, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that you have found your path to happines and self fulfillment and try your best staying on it.

You are already ahead most people just with the knowledge. 22 is still young.

[–]whitecauliflower[S] 14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thanks lightcrazy.

For me, I just really haven’t DONE anything. I’ve been slobbering over a keyboard addicted to ranking up in computer games for majority of those years not realizing how much of a loser I became lol. Thankfully I have cut that shit out

I know I really need to find good people, hobbies, and really devote myself to something

[–]mega_kook14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude... relax! I know the rest of your life can seem like shit after you've discovered this path but you're still really young. Do you have a job? That is your main mission in life right now! Crush that to set yourself up for the next steps.

[–]writewhereileftoff2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bruh trust me you're not alone. You're still young the fact you're here on trp means a lot already

[–]TheShearerComplex1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How did you afford to do this? Did you not have a job to pay for bills etc?

[–]TempleDank0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Saaame! i've spent from 17 to 19 doing this!! Luckily i didnt give up on my education and im studing engineering at a good university atm luckly i woke up in time

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depression is not a joke.

You're not dead, not homeless, not a drug addict.

Take that as a victory and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You have better ways to spend your mental energy.

Remember that irrational feelings of self-pity are one of the most common ways that depression works to fuck you over.

[–]HumbleTrees25 points26 points  (28 children) | Copy

Read Jordan Peterson 12 rules for life. It will address much of this. Really good book for lost souls.

[–]markinsinz720 points21 points  (10 children) | Copy


27 yo still with a V card (but that's a different and complex story)

Still skinny fat. Still undisciplined. Now taking one day at a time. But everyday feels like a struggle especially with extremely low T.

My first job was at 25, working in a retailstore alongside high school students. I still had such shitty frame I couldn't go toe to toe with a few. Nor could I attract the cuties even though I'm 'alright' looking. Still shitty game.

No good job has come off my degrees from University - low GPA, no networking and no REAL SKILL(like trading, or banking analyst or programming in x language and so on)

I look at my Facebook and I have nothing. No memories on there. Couple of photos at a bunch of random parties but other than that - jack shit.

No accomplishments No relationships No success in any sphere No memories

Last 7 years, while I hung around 2 or 3 social circles I never built something real with them. My fb is shabby and utterly shit with no wonderful memories of the last 6 years. Whilst my very very close friends themselves have good memories posted all over cause they had girlfriends who took them out to do shit.

Side note:Many guys end up with a decent social life cause they meet a cute girl.

Don't get me wrong I'm not some basement dwelling neckbeard - just unlucky is all, circumstances and laziness.

Don't waste time kids- you really don't have much of it.

Now at 27 I'm starting from ground zero. But try joining and making some hung meaningful while all the cliques around you are friends with each other last 3-5 years.

[–]kril897 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

27 is nothing i'm 29 about to turn 30, i've changed my life around in less than a year. Well at least I'm down the right path when it comes to my career. Now social game wasn't ever that bad but I can't really expand it because of the small town I live in (800ish people and maybe 10k in a 30 mile radius) but part of my plan is to move and restart my life somewhere else.

[–]look_up_there12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

27 is still young my friend, only up to go from here. Hit the gym and buy a motorbike

[–]markinsinz74 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tough when it takes a lot to get a real decent job and shit. But I'm doing OK. Right now in a position where I just have to deal with the bullshit

[–]the-cat-killa3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like more excuses. Pick small winnable goals and accomplish them. Every day move towards a goal small or longer term. It snowballs and you start gaining confidence with momentum

[–]Teeheewoz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man ! You’re my age my and i can feel the struggle

[–]11-Eleven-111 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Whats your degree in? Honestly it sounds like you're using your low gpa as an excuse.

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for inquiring but honestly my situation has lots of complications. My rant was to mainly focus on how I have had nothing - no hookups no 1 night stands no relationships no history, I literally didn't take photos of the fun things me n my friends did very rarely.

I've tried to see it all from every positive angle and do a thorough understanding of how to move foward and it's incredibly hard. Like many guys objectively below me on the smv have it so much easier cause they got the basics down.

[–]11-Eleven-110 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I mean if you arent good at social media then dont use it. I used to use social media and now I don't. It wasnt different either way.

[–]markinsinz71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't need to use social media today. However a few basics are quite important. When I cold approach a girl at bars or on streets and set up meets later she might want to make sure I'm not a creep.

I've had a couple of girls with clear IOIs that kept asking me for Instagram first like without me even mentioning anything.

Do not delete social media but do not actively use it either.

[–]circlingldn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

not using social media is bad, it surely much easier to become good at it then banging multiple girls

[–]pickyourselfupman20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

22 here and I feel the same exact way. You thought by now you’b be on to bigger and better things, have been to foreign lands, have some clue as to what you want and where you’re going, but very little of that turned out to be true, if any at all.

Thankfully we’re still young. I’m a skinny, mentally unstable, depressed, live at home, loser, but I take solace in the fact that I know I have the potential to be much more. I’m lifting consistently again, socializing with old friends again, and getting a routine going. It isn’t much, but it’s a start, and even though I’m not where I thought I would be by now and I haven’t DONE anything, I have gained a lot of perspective on my life and life in general.

TL;DR: We’re lost but young 22 year old men filled with raw potential. Let’s turn this shit around m8!

[–]CrashJordan5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love this comment mate. You don't know highs unless you've been low!

[–]THEMIDLANDMAN12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

In short...….yes plenty

*The world told me to stay on in education, I later discovered my qualifications were not worth the paper they were written on.
*I spent 7 years in a bad job which I hated.

*I spent vast amounts of my social life sitting in the same 3 or 4 pubs.

*The world told me to treat women with respect...… can guess how that worked out.

[–]TheBigPone8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, I'm 24yo and in college since 17 on the same engineering degree. Spent 6 years failing 98% of all classes because I didn't show up in time, lacked motivation and didn't stick until the end (the course is 5 years). I haven't give up on this degree because I really want it.

I'm recoving now and I hope i don't get kicked out of college when it reaches my 10th year (I think they removed the 10th year limit for your graduation time because they really need more competent engineers around here and the dropout rate is high). I'm in Brazil in a public university so I believe the system works a little bit different than in northen countries.

[–]FatmanO2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm recoving now and I hope i don't get kicked out of college when it reaches my 10th year (I think they removed the 10th year limit for your graduation time because they really need more competent engineers around here and the dropout rate is high). I'm in Brazil in a public university so I believe the system works a little bit different than in northen countries.

Youz can do it, remember the pay is super good!

[–]liljjuull5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Uhh yeah I’m 22 as well. In the past 2 years I got fired from my job and am barely passing in college due to depression. Supposed to graduate but have no desire or motivation to... kinda just doing nothing daily and hoping for the best

[–]whitecauliflower[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hang in there. One step in the right direction at a time is what I’m on

[–]liljjuull4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know, I was way worse a year ago than I am right now so slowly but surely I’m making progress

[–]3rdLion1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dropped out 2 years ago, it hasn’t been a fun ride since and it compounded my depression immediately after. I’m getting my shit together slowly now but I rue not finishing and having a back up. Hang in there bro, you’ve got this.

[–]RedHoodhandles11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes I've wasted 5 years in my 20ties, feeling sorry for myself and how unfair everything is. Does that help you now? Misery loves company..

[–]antwonedw4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

22 is young.

but yes, i'm glad you realized it now.

G'luck bro. Do epic shit.

[–]RPinthemaking5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

24, I wasted all of highschool and college playing video games. I discovered trp about a year ago when I finally got out of a blue pill relationship. Currently trying to get my shit together and other than being broke, I'm at the happiest I've been in a long time.

[–]philbignig5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

wasted about 3 years playing video games 8-12 hours a day

[–]sharks_eat_potatoes3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

From 16-22 I bummed around doing fuck all and not getting laid. Smoked way too much weed and took copious amounts of other substances to dull the crippling depression that kept me locked in a miserable existence. I was overweight, unhappy and a virgin with very few friends to confide in. Then something just clicked. I decided not to be a victim any longer. I enrolled in college and changed my diet. I stopped smoking and taking drugs. I exercised 5 times a week. I became more confident and independent. I lost my virginity and started having sex. Then I met my oneitis and almost fucked my life up after 4 really tough years with her. I swallowed TRP 6 months ago. I'm 30 now and have a long way to go, but every year is an improvement. The journey and the growth will only end when I die.

I look at all the small incremental improvements I made each day starting from 8 years ago and see how they have all added up. You move mountains by carrying away small stones. Consistency is key. Being able to be honest and accept the truth is needed to learn from the lessons your life offers you.

In this sense, I do not consider any of my years as 'wasted'. I look back upon them as a learning experience. Without them, I have no baseline. They provide me with a reason to keep moving forward, unless I want to return to those states again. I also know what it takes to move forward, no matter how hard or how futile it seems at the time. It has provided me with a case history for which I can remind myself that no matter how badly I fuck up, I can still keep moving forward and growing, one step at a time.

You are at a perfect time in your life to start moving mountains, one stone at a time. Do it OP, and never look back.

[–]Memeandmesomemore7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let me put it into perspective for you - I'm now 49 and have wasted 21 years of my life with a wife-thot who has a personality disorder.

21 years - that's almost as long as you've been alive.

I've got my shit back together, if I can do it at my age you have no problem.

You're 22 - you have all of the time in the world compared to me, so get your finger out.

[–]Joeboard3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Im 29. I spent a good portion of my early - mid 20s being a drug addict bum.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

We're shocked.

[–]Joeboard0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

For such a successful guy, you seem real desperate for $200.. honestly, you turned me off with your donating the funds talk. I got my kick out of listening to you put a price on your dignity.

I might consider it if you let me upload the video, ill get it frontpage on wsb and make that 200 back in views.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I just knew from the beginning you wouldn't do it.

Excuse after excuse.

Your argument never made sense and it still doesn't. You sound like someone with a retarded intellect due to abusing substances. You'll never know how stupid you sound, I can tell.

How dignified of you.

[–]Joeboard0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Not really concerned what your opinion is.. I do however love the fact that I get under your skin enough for you to reply paragraph after paragraph trying to explain yourself. Im very dignified, ive been off the drugs for 6 years now, made 6 figures this year, wbu?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

not concerned with opinion

False monetary offers, tries to prove themselves to a stranger by mentioning their income

Pick one.

[–]robbiedigital0013 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes 10 years, depression, low self esteem, anxiety. Vicious spiral. What's important is not to beat yourself up over it but instead be proud that you have woken up and realised you were in that state. Many people never break out of it. I was 35 when I managed to feel I had a future again. You might not feel it but 22 is very very young. You're in a great place

[–]vepeli5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Was with my highschool sweetheart for 8 years before I realised AWALT....

[–]look_up_there8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just watched one of my best mates marry his high school sweet heart of 14 years, only girl he's ever been with. It could be worse mate!!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man message me if you want to talk about things or something... Im a 22 year old dude and feel the exact same way, ive been depressed for so long its some of it is my fault and some of it isnt. Im trying to work past certain traumas from the past that ive kept burried away for a long time like walking in on my mother with some dude, getting bullied in school , getting made fun of for my mixed asian features and asian last name , getting cheated on by first girl I thought I really loved, seeing my brother in and out of jail and bringing trouble to our families houses because of gang affiliation and drug addiction.... I too have been dealing with substance abuse. I could go on but just know youre not the only one brother.

I see hope in the future for the both of us just the fact that we are trying to do something about it now at 22....

[–]imtheoneimmortal1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Isn’t wasted time, without that time I wouldn’t be who I am today

[–]TheStumblingWolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I let others' needs weigh more than my own when I was in my early 20s. I wasted almost 10 years building a life I didn't want and wondering why it felt like trying to put on a glove that didn't fit. On the bright side I've learned to take care of myself first and foremost as a result.

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man you are 22, there are still many realizations you haven’t had yet.

[–]shortymike1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go back and finish college, get professional help for the depression and you're no worse off than a guy that spent 5 years in the "wrong" career. It's hard to believe, but you can absolutely catch up still.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol 22. Homie you're just starting.

[–]Bdsmthrowaway01011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're 22 you could be a homeless virgin autist and still have a bright future.

I'm 33. My life is pretty sweet. Everything bad thats happened in my life has actually been good. My crappy ex of 7 years taught me about relationships. Getting fired at 26 taught me about my career. Friends and family passing taught me about making the most of our time on earth.

Dust the sand out of your vagina and make something of your life.

[–]MetalstepTNG1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bruh, I'm 22 and was in the same position you are so let me offer some perspective.

Here's the thing, we as young men are not supposed to start out with an instantly rich life filled with fame and power. We actually have to do something called "work for it." You have to get training, you have to gain experience in the field, you have to network, and these things take time and energy. If you want something, wishing and dreaming all day about it isn't doing you any favors, where as setting goals for yourself and mapping out your future plans does.

So don't wallow in self pity about how you think you have nothing, alright? It's not productive, and it's an insult to people who are homeless, people who lost their families, etc. People who actually have real losses and are still fighting to make a difference. You think you've wasted time? How about inmates with life sentences who won't ever get to be free men again? How do you think they feel?

Shit you've got decades left to live and you're already giving up. Man, I'm not trying to beat you up OP, but you need to know that good things don't come free and you need to set goals and work on them to achieve that sweet, sweet high life gives you from your accomplishments, your choices.

There's one last observation I want to point out. I don't think you are upset because you wasted a little time OP, I think you're upset because you realized the time you spent had zero meaning, and the way I look at it, you learned how short life is and that if you want a good, fulfilling life, you can't waste it chasing highs. Most people go there entire lives without realizing what you did OP, so you have plenty of time to turn that around. These past few years taught you that, and that knowledge could be the power you need to propel you into a content life that you carved out for yourself. That's not meaningless at all.

So don't worry about the shit society tells you, don't live your life the way people tell you to. Find your passions, get to the grind, and find things that are worth suffering for, because that's the difference between a fulfilling life, and a miserable life spent chasing highs.

[–]tacospitter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's easy to feel like you've wasted your life sometimes, but you are very young, and have a lot to look forward to. Sure you can't get your time back, but you can learn from it. You will make more mistakes in the future. Embrace your current failures and your future ones, because they often come before your successes.

You could likely be nearing the bottom of your personal life right now, and have a lot of potential upside to look forward to and enjoy. Imagine looking back in a few years and thinking, "wow, imagine if I had given up right when things were the worst."

If you are feeling empty and having trouble with self-worth, maybe focus on a progressive hobby. It could be working out, drawing, practicing an instrument, hunting, creating music -- something that rewards you long-term in the form of personal progress.

Most importantly: don't give up! Rolling over and wallowing in misery right now would be like selling your stocks during a market crash. Keep your perspective -- with time, things can and will turn around for you. Success and failure are self-fulfilling prophecies!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll say a decade. Yes.

[–]cornylamygilbert1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ya I did

I wasted 10 years trying to figure out my career and adulting needs

granted, many life lessons were learned, by I didn't start getting my shit together until the last year or so.

I've got 10 years on you if you're 22

like someone else here said, you're a baby in most respects

if you're learning these lessons now, you're doing great

[–]whitecauliflower[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man. You haven’t even hit your prime yet

[–]Wedidntdoshitreddit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dropped out of school at the age of 18. Played video games all the time and did drugs. I clearly remember being around your age and thinking like you do. Like I was old and how I had wasted so much time. Can't do nothing but laugh at my naive self back then. Unfortunately I didn't improve my situation until many years later. I'm 29 now and finally building my life the way I want it to be. Feels amazing man. Just get your shit together dude, you have your whole life ahead of you.

[–]look_up_there1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah bro I smoked weed daily for 10 years since I was 17, worked dead end jobs living paycheck to paycheck, played computer in all my spare time and ruined 2 4yr ltrs. 27 now and I have fucked all those bad habits off. I feel born again, finally a man and getting what I want in life. Took way to long, but it's better late than never. Still got my 30s to look forward to and still plan on pulling 20yr olds till I'm 40. Living the fucking dream cunt

[–]WeddingCrasher911 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I posted this before and ill post it again. Iam 27 and have around 50k in savings . How you ask, well i work in remote areas, oil and gas, so basicly i have no expenses as my company provides everything. Had i discovered redpill before my failed marriage, then i would have around 100k now.

So basically i wasted 2 years of hard earned money

[–]IvyExcess0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What sort of work do you do? How does one start a career in that field?

[–]WeddingCrasher910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Engoneer. Oil and gas. If was offshore i would have even made more

[–]TGL-Jesse0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly man, I’m in a similar position rn - just dealing with and trying to get over depression at 22... But man look at the positives we’re actually still pretty young and have time to turn shit around

[–]whitecauliflower[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes thank god for TRP,self-improvement, and awareness at 22. Plenty of time to turn this boat around

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good god, i did the same thing, from 16 to 22/23, i kind of did better last year and this year went fine to, but like two years ago and back, disaster

[–]DopeMeme_Deficiency0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

22? You're still fresh. You're just beginning the journey of a wasted life. I'm 43, and have been waiting my life at least 20 years longer than you. You're fiiiinnne reeeelax

[–]Hambone_Malone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Join the Air Force. Pick a job that will translate into a decent career outside the military like aircraft maintenance. You'll get to travel for free while working and meeting people. You have a built in social circle while in the military and a lot of these relationships will last a lifetime. I don't know you or your interests, but this path really did well for me so it's just my suggestion.

[–]beachbbqlover0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh dude...

I spent 7 years of my life in other countries and came back without even a driver's license or nickel to my name. But that time was NOT wasted. It was spent.

If I had bought that house at 19 instead of traveling, I would have lost it in some divorce or another anyways, and now I know so much more about the world and myself.

[–]knowledgelover940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

18-22 are the hardest ages for men to be sexually successful. Women like older men. Don’t worry, your sex life is just beginning.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once you clean up your room you realize that 5 years is nothing.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yes but 80% of us would KILL to be 22 - You have SO MUCH TIME - Start now and lift,read andwork your mission - you can have anamazing life

[–]preying_mantiss930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's hard not to waste your life when SJW culture such as affirmative action and the gynocentric education system is preventing your life from even getting started.

[–]hazaraMoghul0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I started a degree and wasted 2 years in it with 23k debt and never finished it. The I started another degree which I did finish. Total I wasted 6 years at uni, my only regret is i could have been a real doctor by now if from beginning i choose medicine because I am definitely smart academically.

Stupid choices..

[–]Yamikage840 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m 27 and I feel that way. I’ve been an EMT for the last 7 years. While I’ve helped saved countless lives and I make a bit more than the national household income, career wise I feel stagnant. I’ve got the brains to do much much more. However I’ve got below average discipline when it comes to doing things outside of going to work like bettering myself. I used to think I was a failure until I realized all the things I’ve learned these past few that will set me up nicely whenever I kick my ass into gear.

I gained an identity when I had non before.

I learned how to do things and take care of others without being the beta I used to be.

I learned how to not be afraid of women.

I learned how to deal with stress.

I learned empathy.

Even if it feels like you’re running in place, as long as you learned something during that time it wasn’t a waste.

[–]Auxfite0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ages 12-23 I wasted my life away on video games like runescape, league of legends, and call of duty. But 20s is an age to make mistakes. You don’t want to be doing shit like that in your 30s

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit I feel the same way and I’m only 20. Just need to figure out ways to be more productive and improve my SMV, I’ve been too lazy though.

[–]mynameismcfly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Men aren't expected to reach their prime until mid 30s early 40s, so don't be down.

You've already taken a significant step forward in realizing you've wasted time. Now make a plan on how you want to change, and don't be too hard on yourself, you've got plenty of time!

[–]dijinee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

22 is the beginning.

[–]alaskanarcher-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just wait until you're 25. THEN your life will be totally over.

[–]faustian_talos-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think I was the worst but I guess I am not..

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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