I don't know about you guys, but since when I found the Red Pill last year I progressively started enjoying life less.
It's about viewing the world with RP lens. It's not only about women. Women are just a small portion of the whole in my opinion.
It seems like I reached a sort of nihilism. I'm improving myself, but realising that 90% of the things in life are just illusions created my human beings, makes me feel weird.
I got obsessed with the self-improvement thing that I don't even give myself rest. I always feel like rest is just weakness and an inner desire to escape from reality. Because that's what the RP teaches you to do: not to escape from reality.
Thus, I'm realising the reality is harsh. Now that Christmas is coming, I could tell that even more. Everyone so excited for this custom/event, while I'm here telling myself "Christmas is a day just like any other day. People are just used to consider it a particular day, but in reality, it's all human's invention. All this is just an illusion to make people feel good for one day".
Mr obvious right? Santa Clause does not exist, nor does "Christmas" or "Easter" or anything else. Sounds trivial, but seems like people like to believe in anything that makes them escape from reality.
Now some people might tell me "Just chill man.", point is, TRP and philosophy (stoicism and nietzsche in particular) has transformed me like this.
It's great seeing anything in life for what it really is, but it has its side-effects.
I stopped watching movies, playing videogames, basically anything that 95% of the population does.
I consider these activities just a form of escapism, and I don't really see the point of doing any of these, because I know I'll feel just worse right after when I received my cheap dopamine, and realising I haven't moved an inch towards success.
In a few words, I can't enjoy the small things in life anymore. Everything for me has become an obsession for success. If I had to watch a movie right now, instead of enjoying it, I would analyse the psychology moving between the characters, even if it's scripted. If there's a scene with a rich guy fucking women, it would just bring in me the desire to be like that guy. That's actually a great thing, this drives me to improve myself.
But the point of all this, is that I can't seem to switch to escapism even as a form of rest. It just makes me feel like shit afterwards.
Has anything of this happened to you or did I just go mad?