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Honestly? Im physically feeling pathetic and i want to fix it but i dont know where to start or how.

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FamousReliability
December 24, 2018
65 upvotes
askTRP

A little background before this shitfest unfolds in the following paragraphs. 19 year old kissless virgin who's never touched or even interacted romantically with a girl. I know about girls as much as i know about a black hole. Practically nothing. Upbringing doesnt help either because i was constantly moving for school and never really had the chance to build a social life so i stuck to stable things which followed me, and yes youre right, they were video games and computers. Now a bit of a warning if youve reached this far, this might be really long.

Other than the previous paragraph, i admit theres a bit of a lie in the title. I do or at least i did know where to start or what to do, but it has backfired on me so many times that i almost always give up. Although its not all negative. I now know and acknowledge that i am a Nice Guy™ and i actively try to not be after reading the book "No more Mr Nice Guy".

Anyways, the reason that pushed me into finally posting here and why i am the most pathetic person on the planet is today. Out of our group, me and one guy were virgins and quite embarrassingly, the fact that he was still a virgin, always gave me hope in my journey. Well, today that ended. He got laid. Now you see, you might think thats why im pathetic. Hold your horses there cowboy, the true reason's coming. While i was on my way back from the club, i was HOPING that he didnt seal the deal. Instead of being happy for one of my close friends, like a cunt, i felt jealous and toxic. I dont hate him or anything now, but i hate myself for hoping for that at that moment. This will probably get buried because of the theme/topic of discussion but i just feel like you guys are the only ones who can say stuff without sugar coating it. Ill probably post this on seddit but im not really sure.


Post Information
Title Honestly? Im physically feeling pathetic and i want to fix it but i dont know where to start or how.
Author FamousReliability
Upvotes 65
Comments 45
Date 24 December 2018 03:54 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/71411
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a91i58/honestly_im_physically_feeling_pathetic_and_i/
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[–]SmackinDatAss83 points84 points  (18 children) | Copy

Well first, let's stop with the pity party. You have some shitty issues to deal with, but just begin to deal with them. What is your mission? I know you 19 years old, but what is your mission while being 19 years old? What are you doing in regards to your mission. I want to be clear, in so many respects, it does not matter what your mission is, but just that you have a mission. Something to drive you.

Next, sit down and make a plan regarding that mission. If I do this this and this, I will make it happen. This will give you focus. Focus will provide some determination.

Get physically stronger. That means you need to lift weights. The real benefit to lifting will be discipline. Also, it will give you more focus. Stronger, disciplined and focused is not a someone who is pathetic. Rather, that is a pretty cool dude.

Finally, by focusing on your mission and being resolved to lift and get healthier, you won't sit around thinking about women all the time. Hell, thinking about women is a just a colossal waste of time. Roughly every other person you see is female, so work on yourself because you will always be able to find women.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit is this copy pasta? Should be. Solid advice for a young man

[–]drl4k35 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is good advice. One thing I'd like to add is your diet is if not more important than you working out. Consistency with your workout and diets both. That's what gives you the changes. You'll prolly get some noobie gains going soft on your diet but if you want to see real results real quick you're diet has to be number one priority. Merry gainsmas

[–]Reddoored0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What's your personal recommendation for good gains diet?

[–]drl4k31 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The basics really man nothing complicated. Just get your daily protein inatake around .8 .9 times your bw in pounds and then adjust your fat and carb intake comfortably to get you above atleast 200-300 your tdee daily calorie requirement. Monitor if you're losing or gaining weight using a scale and adjust diet accordingly.
A food scale will help a shit ton till counting becomes intuitive. Cheers

[–]Reddoored0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks

[–]FamousReliability[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for your reply dude. I dont really know what counts as a personal mission at 19? Maybe finish my bachelor's in 3 years and get fit.

Im travelling right now, so my aim was to talk/try to game as many girls as i can but we're mainly hitting clubs, which isnt really my scene and i have no clue what to do so i just end up dancing (atleast attempting) with friends. I guess i should just forget about all that and try to enjoy myself more.

[–]sadshark14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're trying to recover 19 years in a few days hitting on girls and maybe getting laid as fast as possible to not be the only virgin left in the group. That reeks of desperation and any girl can smell it. You say 'your aim' is to talk to as many girls as possible. I bet you havent made a single cold aproach yet... but aim to do 'as many as possible'. Am I correct? If so, maybe you can see the difference between 'aiming to' and acually doing.

You say you should forget about girls and enjoy yourself more. Solid attitude... but lets be honest here. Can you actually enjoy yourself with this massive cloud over your hear all the time? Don't ever lie to yourself, its the worsr thing you can do. Aknowledge how you feel and try to change the cause of that feeling.

You're travelling but complain that you are mainly hitting clubs and you dont like it. Last time I checked there are girls outside of clubs as well. What's stopping you from having a nice conversation with a girl during the day? Dont aim to fuck her, you will fail. Aim to learn from it and to be confortable in the uncomfortable.

Here are some things you can DO right NOW that are in your control and that will put you on the right track. Yes, starting today whille you're on this trip, no excuses, no pussying out:

  • Do 30 pushups in reps of 10. Do 60 squats in reps of 20. Do 45 abs in reps of 15. TODAY. Keep doing that until you get home and then get a gym membership and stick to it.

  • Stop drinking so much. You're probably wasted every night with your buddies. That's fine. But how about you start drinking just enough to barely feel a buzz?

  • Strike up at least one conversation with a girl everyday during daytime. You're traveling, ask her about the places around. Simple stuff at first.

  • Go for a jog when you wake up. No excuses.

  • Try meditation. I dont wanna push this on people because its the hardest thing you can do in life, but its life changing. You gain discipline, awareness, calm, focus, 'not-give-a-fuck' attitude. Read the meditation sub on how to start.

  • Stop jerking off until you fuck something. PERIOD. I guarantee you that shit will.motivate you more than any words on a reddit post. Its yout imperative as a man to fuck as much as possible. Evolution. Stop feeding your brain with porn and fapping. Re-train your brain that the only way to cum is with a girl. Its gonna be hard as fuck, but only through pain we learn the fastest.

Do these things for now. Simple, applicable things that you can do right now that will set you on the right track. Come back in 2 weeks, make another post and give me a reply on this post so i can see it.

[–]Just15150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Develop yourself and shit will happen. Get good at conversation is the best reward ratio of anything. Cold approaches are not that hard if you can do this, but your own developments come to help after.

For example, I did an approach the other day on the train. Sat across from a girl for a trip. Heard her speaking mandarin on her phone, so after she hung up I asked her "hey was that Chinese?" in mandarin and she said yes but she is from "X". Then we got onto a conversation about the language, and then other things, talked for over an hour on the train ride then I turned it into a quite mini date by walking with her to her destination and got the number.

all that was possible becase i had studied mandarin in my own time out of a love for languages. Now if it had been something like photography i studied then maybe i couldn't have gamed this chick so easily but a different one sure! see my point?

Just do things and get better at conversation. the rest will come.

[–]SlashingSide0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can gym(bbuilding) be the main focus?

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

That's a great way to not get laid, ever.

[–]SmackinDatAss0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Obviously you are an expert at not getting laid. How is that wet sock doing for you?

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Indeed I am. All I do now is work and workout. I'm practically socially dead. I'll likely spend NYE all by myself. Focusing on your mission is a great way to not get laid.

Going well with Ms. Wetsock but I'm afraid that at this rate I'll catch oneitis soon.

[–]SmackinDatAss0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

And you keep proving that you are not capable of understanding being red pilled. All you are concerned with is getting laid. Incapable of understanding what women are really looking for. Incapable of understanding what women really want.

You keep trying to get laid. And just to let you in on a secret, your sock is cheating on you.

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

And what are women really looking for? What do they really want? A man who is strictly focused on his mission and doesn't care about getting laid? They couldn't care less. They just want to have fun and enjoy themselves. They want the attention of attractive men and want to get laid by them. As long as she specifically isn't your #1 priority, and you don't act like a socially oblivious thirsty indian, she couldn't give a shit if your only goal is getting laid. Hell, your only hobby could be chasing skirts and if you were good at that, they'd eat it up and swoon.

If I'm wrong I want to be corrected.

It's not cheating if we're in an open relationship.

[–]SmackinDatAss0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Again, you are incapable of understanding what being red pilled really is. So focused on pussy. Yeah, women dig thirsty men. Keep thinking that and your world will always be great.

It is tiresome chatting with you. But, you keep thinking you are correct and keep hanging out with your sock. Don't change a thing buddy. You are doing great.

[–]Vikingcel0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm genuinely curious where exactly I got it wrong. I'm not getting laid as is so I'm open to suggestions. (Just don't twist my words around to argue your point.)

Is it not true that women do enjoy being desired?

The issue isn't that I want to get laid. The issue is I'm not attractive and barely meet women.

The sock is stale by now.

[–]SmackinDatAss0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you ever heard of the phrase, "Don't put the pussy on a pedestal"? It means that you are idolizing some woman.

You are idolizing ALL women simply by concentrating on pussy. To further make things worse, you are focusing on your negatives and doing NOTHING to improve yourself.

One of the mantras of this sub is to lift. You kids think lifting is suggested so that you will get big. What you cannot fathom is that lifting will give you discipline. This discipline will become a building block for your future life. But, you cannot see beyond the pussy to understand these things.

Then, you sit there complaining about being ugly. Yet you are not smart enough to understand what is really happening. You are using this as an excuse. FUCK, your name says it all. "Oh I am ugly so I have no chance." Again, you want to wrap yourself in your pity party blanket and not actually put in the work to improve. "But what will happen if I improve?" WHO THE FUCK KNOWS????? But it will be a damn improvement over the pity party.

You are a product of the social media age. You interact with women all the time in a fantasy world. Social media is nothing but fantasy. Meet one of them in real life. They are worried about being fat. They don't actually have cute ears and little mouse noses like they post on social media. They are more mentally fucked up than you are. And what you cannot understand is that just by going out there and improving yourself, you will attractive. Fuck dude, your competition is guys who are just like you are right now. Imagine how much easier it will be if you make improvements. Will you be Chad? Who the fuck cares. Stop trying to be like Chad and start being a better you. That is fucking frame. That is rock hard frame.

Finally, your mission. Your mission gives you focus. Focus would also take your mind off pussy and that would be a HUGE step forward for you. HUGE. Men are attracted by visible cues. Women are attracted by emotional cues. You think being good looking is attractive because you are visually stimulated. She thinks frame is attractive because she is emotionally stimulated. So, stimulate her emotionally. Stop being a fucking incel and be a damn man of ACTION. Be someone that people want to hang out with and something crazy will happen--people will hang out with you.

FUCK THE PITY PARTY. BE A MAN OF ACTION

[–]MaliciousMack7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

100 pushups Run 1 mile 2 sets of 25 mountain climbers 2 sets of 25 bicycle kicks

Start with that. You sound like you want a workout plan, so here you go.

[–]821sleepingbag16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

No sugarcoat, real talk.

Don’t put so much value on fucking girls. It’s only slightly better than masturbating, yet 99% of your self worth is derived from women. That’s not healthy.

Focus on your career, hobbies, fitness and health and it’s sounds like you have some good friends. At the end of the day solid friends will help you more than a woman ever will.

Once you fuck a bunch of women you realise it’s not all that fulfilling. It may be hard to see it from my perspective but take it from me it’s true.

Work on yourself first. If fucking girls is that bloody important than ask any of your friends to go to a bar and then game some chicks. Get rejected a bunch of times and it might take a while but you won’t get rejected forever. You’ll learn through trial and error and eventually you’ll hit your target. Then boom no more virgin. Also never tell any woman you are a virgin, pretend like you know what you’re doing.

[–]FamousReliability[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Don’t put so much value on fucking girls.

This is exactly it. Not that i feel i have lower value than a girl (although its true sometimes) but its the fact that we care too fucking much. Theres this girl at uni, super fucking cute, none of us has the balls to talk to her so we sit at home and talk about her instead. What a fucking embarrassment man.

[–]klearrer 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You need to stop relishing in your negative emotions. Just do. Feel bad enough to make a difference, then act upon it. If you feel too bad, you'll never accomplish anything.

[–]bostezo220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you feel so pressed by yourself, hire a pro, and after that keep pm improving yourself.

[–]gster509 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I lost my virginity at 21, it's not the end of the world.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut eventually, just start hitting on more girls and eventually someone will like you back.

Now she probably won't be a 10, but neither are you. My biggest problem was I was afraid of getting rejected. Just start tanking the rejections.

Don't fall into the trap of once I've improved my self to x then I'll get laid. Hit on girls while improving yourself. It's a valuable ability to be able to go out and get rejected. And unless you have a massive deficiency somewhere else, that's what stops average guys from getting laid with average girls.

[–]lush312 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

You feel jealous of your friend because of a lack of success in your own life (in general, not just with women). From reading your post, it seems like you have nothing in your life that you are proud/grateful of. Try and forge some success in your life whether that be with women, your career, finances or hobbies etc. What will once have been jealousy will turn into inspiration.

[–]FamousReliability[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck man. That hits close and its absolutely fucking true. Youre right. I currently have nothing to show for my life. No noteworthy hobbies, mediocre grades, dont even make money (my dad pays for everything) and the thing with women. Yeah i guess thatd lead to major selfesteem issues. I think i have a sort of plan in my head. Ill try to get as fit as i can (im skinny fat) and improve my grades and add atleast one new hobby. Then ill do some sidebar reading and maybe attempt something again.

[–]Auxfite-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Crab in a bucket mentality. Those type of people can’t be helped

[–]Musicgoon7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

Just start... Somewhere... One small goal. Accomplish it. Then make another and another. Set the bar higher each time.

First off though, your attitude sucks ass. You're acting like a faggot. You aren't one and need to own and know that. You're choosing to be a loser instead of doing work. Get up off your lazy ass and apply yourself. Read the rational male. Learn game. Read the sidebar.

I was beta AF at your age. You can turn it around much sooner than I did. You're lucky to have an early start on it. Take advantage of it.

[–]FamousReliability[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Youre right my attitude is literal dog shit. And i keep thinking one incident is defining of everything. Thats what i feel after i get rejected and then that snowballs into a shit mood and i end up hating my life at the party. That can be fixed, or atleast its possible but what i completely lack in, is my ability to talk to women. Like yesterday, at the club, cute girl sitting at the bar, why not go talk to her? I muster up the courage and go up to her, i say hey im famousreliability, whats your name? Guess what she fucking said? Its a secret. Why the fuck is it a secret? Anyways i dont give up and i continue talking to her like are you here alone and maybe some restaurant recommendations and then i just say bye and leave.

[–]sadshark7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Haha, you naive idiot (dont take it personally). That girl at the bar CLEARLY wanted you to engage into finding out the 'secret'. You should've continued in that tone: "good thing we dont know our names, im undercover right now on a super-duper totally-serious secret mission as well" - "yah whaaaaat?" - "i just fucking told you its a secret, just like our names" - "but you already told me your name" - "fuck, i suck at this undercover shit"... and keep going on with the stupid roleplay. Chicks love it for some stupid reason, like pulling them into your fantasy.

[–]FamousReliability[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That made me laugh a lot. Man thats smooth. How do you get that from your brain in action? I mean i dont doubt what youre saying, but in hindsight, anyone can be smooth. Idk if you got what im trying to say, english isnt my first language. Im not trying to offend you or anything.

[–]sadshark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like anything else in life, practice, lots and lots of practice. You learn from each failure and each success, the more the merrier.

If you think that's smooth, you should see some of the more experienced guys out there. Youtube some infield footage of rsd julien.

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This shit takes practice and a bit of balls. When I first started I had a shit ton of awkward silences. It gets better.

Try to get a chick to talk about herself. They are solipsistic so they will tell you all about themselves.

Try, "itsasecret is an interesting name. It's easy to remember". 😉

I wouldn't fuck around with anything but direct game. If you run out of things to say just be honest. "I don't know what to say exactly but I had to talk to you. You seem interesting". The fact is most beta guys dont try. It matters less about what your saying and more that you have enough balls to keep going.

And make sure you have fun. Even if you crash and burn.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stopped reading after the second sentence. Stop crying start doing.

[–]FamousReliability[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I will. Thanks.

[–]SidewaysCircle4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stretch every morning and night

[–]Capt_Am1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your buddy got some doesn't equate to you getting less, and furthermore, you guys are running different races (your life vs his life), so no need to feel those negatives.

[–]WonderfulPipe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

We are in similar situations man. 20 yo kissless virgin. One of my closest friends is pretty incel, video game addict, super nerd looking, not intelligent at all, skinny af, below average. He is one of those who share cringy images on fb about how Videogames are his life.

He would lie about having girlfriend (and about other stuff, I’m sure), he even lied about getting laid, and I know this because he told me he lasted 4 hrs, she came like twice but he couldn’t, and he told me that out of nowhere.

But recently he told me she got a girlfriend, and this time, unlike others, was true.

He is my bro, but I was like “wtf, how could he got a girl”.

But that’s not the way you should see it, I know I have better hobbies, I hit the gym, I’m better looking, I have a more successful life overall, and... his girlfriend is pretty below average, I wouldn’t date her at all to begin with.

This can sound bad at the beginning, but what I’m trying to say is that you have to develop a great life to achieve your goals, if you know you’re raising your SMV you know you will fuck hotter girls, you can make a career, etc...

Just do everything necessary to get better everyday and the rewards will come.

[–]Just15151 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro I was a virgin till i was 24. It doesnt even fucking matter. when you lose it it's a big so what situation. I couldn't even cum when I lost my virginity.

In my situation, I had kissed women before on and off since i was 15, but nothing more. Maybe that made me not care as much about losing virginity in a hurry. I kept to myself a lot as a introverted person so didn't really put myself in situations to lose it. That was the real problem.

Just relax and take some redpill stuff on board, it will help a lot when you put yourself out there. It is no hurry, and virginity is only a big deal if you fucking make it into one. Never understood all the guys crying about not losing it by x age.

[–]580213 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Work out and start with small talk on the street, store, school, wherever you go. Don’t let it get you down your time will come

[–]Velebit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Avoid hanging out with men who talk a lot about fucking women and put a high value on pussy. A normal person gets laid but does not have that as a signifitant conversation point.

Also sex is not that great. You can be pretty sure those girls and most of that sex was not some hot steamy affair like in porn but was an awkward thing where one or both didn't even enjoy.

In my experience, young and inexperienced girls don't even keep the hygiene downstairs readily so when you touch or lick the it smells awful. Yeah... spontaneous unplanned sex is garbage and in that age people are usually to poor, stupid and shy to plan for a good sex.

This means that with basically any girl, just by reading this you can be sure you have a more mature view on sex.

Secondly, those guys are competing amongthemselves to basically get std. What is the point in that. Woman is not a measure of a man and must not become it.

You are pathetic which means powerless because you adopted a shit measure of your worth. You should have a inner worth so strong you can be like Spartans and be nofap virgin until 30 when they got married after serving full military service.

No wonder they were motivated. Todays men are sad silly wankers and your parents have failed you and most other kids because they are idiotic materialists and think raising a kid is about money.

No fucking way. Raising a kid is about teaching values so he or she does not measure its worth by empty sex, it is about teaching emotional tools for controling anger, sadness, bitterness, jealousy etc, it is about showing, often by example, how to properly interace.

Raising a kid means not providing hedonism for a kid but character. Your parents left you to tv and peer group and consumerism to by default turn you into a hedonist and because you never had to really deal with hardships you are also a niceguy because your surroundings are so plentiful it never pays off to do anything except avoid conflict.

However at least you will start learning relatively young.

I recommend you Stefan Molyneux on Youtube and his 'honest conversation' videos it really shows you how plebs fuck up their lives by just being badly raised plebs and not think about the meaning of their desires and pointless pursuits.

Another one to read is Suicide Note by Mitchell Heisman.

And if you wanna know how our society in general is a far away shithole compared to how booming societies must be listen to audiobook 'Rise and fall of Empired by sir John Glubb' and you will understand how individuals in rising civilizations function and how we in a failing one compare. The comment section is also great.

Only after that would I bother with pickup stuff because picking up girls relies massively on your perception of self worth and that is low because you are clueless about your role and purpose in life. So work on that first by consuming these and only later go for pua stuff and yeah, no bodybuilding supplement will stop you from feeling like shit.

[–]distinctspy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop looking for the easy path, you will only find reasons not to start. Just start. Even if you don’t know where. Just start.

[–]IronboundAbyss1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man you've started it right. You get that you suck. Let that sink in and you'll figure out what you need (the gym). Lows are good because you get the chance to build up. Once you figure out mentally the need to go to the gym, GET YOUR ASS KICKED. Push yourself and you'll get it why everyone says go to the gym.

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are 19. The bad: you are being a bitch right now.

The great: You have SO MUCH TIME TO TURN THIS MOTHER FUCKER AROUND.

From the book of pook: (Read it online - its free)

I gave up trying to figure out 'how to get women' and 'understanding women' because I kept coming back to defining men. Just as you cannot define day without defining night, so too you cannot define women without defnining men. Thus, my focus became placed on SEXUALITY, meaning both sexes and the laws that influence them. I want to mine the secrets of Nature to see how that can better myself.

You say you don't understand women - Read the side bar and also YOU DON'T HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THEM - If you become MORE MAN it will fall into place itself.

You need to work on your mission + LIFT + READ + MEDITATE and improve yourself - then you won't give a shit about if your friend gets laid

YOU FOCUS ON YOU

Betas talk and care about number count - WHO GIVES A SHIT - YOU DO YOU and the pussy will come

Merry fucking Christmas

[–]stylesm110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude be thankful you see accepting of you truth and actually SELF AWARE

you'll be okay you have tons of more for growth like many of us



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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