Is the reason to come over, just a way not to say "come over let's fuck"?

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July 21, 2020
106 upvotes

I always have this cringe, when I tell a girl "come over to my place, I got this new movie we can watch", or anything else that i offer to show, just to cover up the fucking part?

It's seems obvious that I am asking her to come over to bang, so instead i say something about watching a movie and we BOTH pretend like OMG THAT IS A GREAT IDEA?


Post Information
Title Is the reason to come over, just a way not to say "come over let's fuck"?
Author nadzaghlar
Upvotes 106
Comments 67
Date 21 July 2020 11:56 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/715378
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hv61zq/is_the_reason_to_come_over_just_a_way_not_to_say/
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Comments

[–]AloofusMaximus194 points195 points  (10 children) | Copy

Men and women communicate differently.

If she is NOT ok with the idea of being alone with you, she'll never agree to it. So the pretext doesn't really matter.

[–]Standgrounding30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats the true red pill.

[–]Siyuen_Tea25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's not true. You're forgetting ASD. Anti slut defense. She might be there for sex but her mind needs plausible deniability. There are some girls that don't care but it's not the norm. You're taking a logical approach to emotional creatures.

Now you're right on the comfortability part. But if she's ok with you, then the deniability is enough.

[–]AloofusMaximus9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're mixing ideas here. Whatever reason you toss out to invite her over, is sufficient, if she's ok with being alone with you. Plausible deniability is constructed by HER in her mind, which is why it literally doesn't matter what reason you give. "Oh I was only there to feed his dog, and one thing lead to another".

LMR is a different thing entirely, and only happens just before sex (which is why it's called Last Minute Resistance).

I've been using "watch a movie" for years now. If she doesn't come over, she wouldn't have regardless of the reason you give.

[–]brasilgringo4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This, exactly. In Brasil, where I am, basically every girl is DTF. They just want an excuse so they don't seem like sluts (esp. when they tell their friends/family what went down). I can be the "watch a movie" thing or even something simpler like "You have to see the night sky from my roof deck" or "let's get a nightcap, I just got this great whiskey."

[–]Pink_Hanna34 points35 points  (2 children) | Copy

Correct

No need for an excuse. "Wanna come over to my place?" is enough.

[–]SchaeBae14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not quite. “Wanna come over to my place?” Sounds better, both in my head and any time I’ve heard it used. Maybe it’s just a different implication. “... and watch a movie?” Implies you’ll at least put on a movie and cuddle with her a while before actually getting into it. Even if a girl is just looking for a quick thing, a decent percentage of the time she wants that - it implies a minimal level of planning/forethought/consideration

[–]mrmaika106 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plausible deniability. If she’s already a plate then not as important.

[–]jackandjill224 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep

[–]FuriousMouse5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Correct, a large part of the female mating ritual in our species, is her verifying that you are cool with yourself and that she will be safe alone with you. That she won't be raped, strangled and buried behind a shed if she changes her mind for whatever reason.

Sex, for a woman is a journey that begins when she sees you at the bar and changes her body posture to indicate interest.
She is looking for a good wave to ride and your part is to create a wave she wants to ride to the end.

[–]TheRedPillRipper3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The term is Plausible Deniability. It gives her; and you; cover.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]maxofreddit71 points72 points  (2 children) | Copy

It’s about saving face.

It works both ways. She can also turn you down by saying she’s not into a movie night, instead of telling you she has a yeast infection or your junk stinks.

Yes, it would be easier if we were all up front about everything, but that assumes that we are all mature adults capable of not taking things personally.

Also, it’s more “fun” to “know what each other are REALLY thinking” than to just have it out there. It’s the difference between porn, and actually having a fun, erotic build up with a gal.

[–]rprookie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And being upfront would kill attraction instantly.

The whole process would feel like a fucking business transaction.

[–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (17 children) | Copy

I invited a girl over to check out a new pillow I bought. Girls like to have a reason it makes them feel better about themselves. So just play into it and you will have success.

[–]TheStoicTao74 points75 points  (12 children) | Copy

Had a first date with a girl. We part ways and I was going to hit her up in a few days.

A few hours later at night, she invites me over to try her new teacups.

It really don't matter what you say, if the girl is interested you could say shit like we're going to drink water.

[–]l1ght-49 points50 points  (10 children) | Copy

Teacups? You must have been like “omg I love teacups, I’d love to come and see!” Laughing picturing this

[–]TheStoicTao39 points40 points  (6 children) | Copy

It was hilarious and unexpected. Bitches be getting creative.

Another time, met a girl and mentioned briefly that I liked chess.

A few days later she hit me up and asked when I was going to teach her chess. Bitch do I look like Kasparov?

Another girl texted me "when are we getting married" after first date. I answered "Who is this?"

Now that I think about it, me not giving a fuck when younger worked really well. I would meet girls and then forget about them, they would hit me up with some bullshit reason to meet up a few days later. There was no ASD or LMR either. They knew that I wouldn't stick around for their bullshit.

[–]l1ght-6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Anything special you were doing to convey the value? I like the excuses they make to get you over.

[–]TheStoicTao17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mostly RP stuff before I even knew about it. Didn't put them on a piedestal, no compliments. Let them do the talking, that way I remained a mystery that they wanted to get to know. Kept the texting minimal.

After the dates I, honestly sometimes, forgot about them, and didn't really care if I would meet them again. They were expendable.

All that together conveyed a idgaf attitude and that they ain't special. They're used to being treated like princesses by simps.

[–]Helmet_Icicle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Always be ready to bounce.

[–]_-resonance-_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I teach girls chess and judge them on their skill

[–]TEXDECOCA0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Who dis?

[–]SchaeBae0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Alright, I gotta ask. Are you super attractive? Really y’all? Rich? Maybe I just need to realize more of my own value.

[–]huey7645 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Drink water?! Godamn that is absurd. I am trying to think of other hilarious excuses just for the shit and giggles. Anybody got some else?

[–]boiiihowdy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just remembered I gotta mop the dog, wanna help?

[–]Kink31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you've got a dog anything to do with that works great.

[–]Ash_thearcher12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol reminds me of Wolf of Wall Street.

“Wanna come up for some tea or somethin?”

“Tea, fuck yeah I wanted to come up for tea.”

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy

I invited a girl over to check out a new pillow I bought.

God damn man that's slick.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao

[–]KillaJewels1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I personally love to play around with what kind of outlandish excuse can I use that she goes with. The greater her interest level, the less it needs to sound interesting.

[–]WeddingCrasher910 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd tell them to come try with me that baking powder I got.

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy

You can't just come out and say it.. have to word it in such a way that they have a way to justify they aren't a slut.

Plausible deniability.

"We were just going to watch a movie and drink bottles of wine.. then.. IT. JUST. HAPPENED."

[–]pm_me_domme_pics14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

It always "just happened"

[–]IterMercator6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love the taste of absent accountability

[–]Trp2727272137 points138 points  (8 children) | Copy

I find it hilarious personally

Women need their plausible deniability. They’d be a slut if they just came for sex, right? (ASD)

The games the game

[–]AngTheEphemeral11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

The thing is though, that I don't understand, is there really isn't even a tiny shred of "plausible deniability". Anyone age 12 and up will see the real meaning in an instant. Plausible deniability justifications / anti-slut-defences are mostly just absurd, bold-faced lies, so what's the point? Only incredibly naive or pathologically lying people actually believe it.

[–]Trp272727249 points50 points  (2 children) | Copy

As long as they can justify it in their own head, that’s all that matters.

[–]violetmonstermunch25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can't upvote this enough. Women routinely create a whole world or story in their head. Just like when they dump you after divorce raping you and sending you to jail with a false accusation, you were the problem, even if you did nothing wrong.

[–]IterMercator3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The hamster

[–]VSelf4723 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

The sooner you accept that women don’t think logically as men, the sooner you’ll get out of the anger phase.

It’s all part of the game.

[–]Helmet_Icicle2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The deniability doesn't actually need to be plausible, it just needs to be defensible. The bare minimum for delusion is a very, very low bar.

It's not actually supposed to provide an excuse. It's merely sexual innuendo.

[–]IterMercator2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

People believe false rape claims that are clearly fake all the time, as long as there's some scapegoat as to why she ended up with her legs in the air while it not being her intentions original, she's content. It's more about avoiding accountability than lying, and "things just sort of happened" is enough of an excuse as they need.

[–]diraclikesmath0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not just the incredibly naive normies by default give women the benefit of a doubt because gender equality dogma.

[–]Dudewheresmymoto130 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she texted u, "hey wanna come over and fuck?", she would be a dude

[–]SchaeBae4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have received this text from a girl before and it wasn’t exactly flattering

[–]Psychological_Radish44 points45 points  (4 children) | Copy

Obviously saying "come over let's fuck" is socially retarded.

That said, you don't need to invent an excuse. I just say something like "how about we hang out at my place?" Says everything and nothing.

I'm like you, I hate phonies, and many of the girls that I bang appreciate my upfront approach. But you need to do it in a socially intelligent way.

[–]Sweetune-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Come over let’s fuck seems alpha af to me.

[–]WyldeCutter3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depending on the situation, the girl, and your own SMV it could either be alpha or retarded

[–]exegol241 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It definitely is, in most cases I think. However, there is such a thing as coming across too strong, and since it's natural for humans to care about their reputation and how they're seen in the eyes of others, this could be too risky and stupid in some situations; aka if mutual interest isn't clearly there.

[–]Psychological_Radish1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, it's not Alpha af at all. Quite the opposite - it demonstrates that you don't understand how the Game is played.

Yes I will agree that there are (rare) occasions where "let's fuck" is actually appropriate. But again, it comes back to social intelligence. You need to know how to read the room. Would you walk into a work meeting and loose a loud fart before a presentation? I mean maybe, if that's your company culture. But 99% of the time you wouldn't.

[–]jfchomie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Not cringe

[–]CaffeineAndCalculus8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a rule: I don’t take girls out on “dinner and a movie” dates. Instead I ask them out to do interesting (or less mundane) things I was going to do anyway. That way if they decline, I still go have a great time by myself. I think the same rule would work in this situation. If you weren’t going to watch a movie, don’t invite her over to watch a movie as code for “let’s fuck”. Instead, plan a real nice movie night for yourself, invite her, and if she comes, the rest should take care of itself.

[–]_Last_Man_Standing_8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I say: "Come over for tea and biscuits"

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Having a dog creates so much plausible deniability.

I remember being 16 and telling a girl "if you want to walk him with me you can but I'm leaving in like 30 mins" - she came over immediately.

RIP Blizz, you were the best wingman I could have ever asked for. He literally ran around us in a circle and pulled us together, seriously could have been scripted.

[–]warthundersfw3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I love this! Hey I have this new beer to try? hands them generic local beer everyone has tasted if you even get that far)

[–]EdvardMunch3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do you really want the world where she texts you how she wants some cock?

I mean it sounds great on the surface but most guys, whether or not theyre aware, like the feeling of getting what they want. Ive been with plenty of girls who tell me their pussy is ready, and get real vulgar, but its not as fun as feeling like your the vulgar one corrupting innocence.

Just chill.

[–]shyrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol i love my sluts that are exactly like that. I much prefer that over check out my pillows. Ones with no asd at all i get along best with.

[–]ArcangeloPT2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the girl is really into fucking you she will come regardless. There was this chick I was banging and the only thing I texted her was “my place, x time” and that was it.

[–]skyrunner222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plausible deniability is fucking rp 101 type shit. Its been explained and fleshed out for ages. Of course it seems obvious. But your man brain wants to communicate direct. Women dont communicate like that. She is not a man. We are not the same..

[–]ThenIJizzedInMyPants3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

just play the fucking game and stop being an idiot man. yeah it's fucking stupid that you have to do this shit but hey i'll do it to get laid

[–]waterbottle0122221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Personally idgaf i just say “come over 🤷‍♂️” I don’t add details, and they usually do. Sometimes we’ll go out and do something then come back and watch a movie.

[–]a14deadpool1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it’s mostly due to slut shaming. Women’s logic is very weird, it’s like if a girl tells her friend that “he told me to come over and fuck him” many of her friends will slut shame her and women don’t like getting slut shamed. But if she tells her friends “oh I went to watch a movie with him and then it just happened” then her friends won’t see her as a slut even tho deep down they both know they where going to have sex but women are very fucking weird they want to think that things happen “magically” or some bullshit like that. You can be 100% blunt with a girl if she’s already your girlfriend cause then she won’t feel slutty.

[–]yadigggggggggg1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just use plausible deniability, don’t be autistic

[–]SavorThePill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah this is one of the more autistic posts I've seen in a while.

[–]spos9090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Noone wants to be a slut

[–]Idris0070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not always about inviting them to come over and bang so to speak. Usually I invite girls over to hang out and catch a football match or for wine and dessert. If the vibes are good then there might be a chance. Stop expecting, be yourself and you’ll have a better time

At the end of the day they need to feel comfortable around you and doubt your only intention is sex. She’s always texting another guys and if she wanted sex then she could pull his strings



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