So I’m clearly coming out of the twilight zone and into the light ... thank you FDS!!!
TL;DR: Stood up to sexist joke from a scrote at my parent’s dinner party, got a half assed apology and “I was just joking”, his wife thanked me later for standing up to him, realized I’m surrounded by Pickme’s and cultural misogyny but the Pickme Paralysis is numbing off.
Long Sorry: I decided to help my parents last night hosting a dinner party for my dad’s birthday (age range 55-70). I grew up in a wealthy, conservative town. I love many of their friends and some are the most loving, non-discriminatory, devout Christians (men included!). A number from my church, which is progressive. Others we volunteer together at a shelter and food bank. And then a the outliers ...
Towards the end of the evening, the ladies were inside chatting and men outside. I was making sure everyone had their wine glasses filled and upon heading outside to the male group, one of the “outliers” made a blond joke (I am blond). I brushed it off and said “yeah you should hear my dads joke about the pearly gates” (about women) and rolled my eyes. I proceeded to walk in the house and then he fired back “what do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever”. Thank God I was at the door at that point. None of the men were laughing. They knew it was inappropriate. But none of them stood up to this scum bag scrote which really is disheartening. Not even my own father who no longer tells the pearly gate joke because he understands it’s offensive.
I walked inside and the women clearly saw I was upset. My dad proceeded to come in the house and asked me if everything was ok. My visceral reaction was yes but I stopped him as he was going back outside and said “don’t ever let that happen again”. He was embarrassed and had an awkward laugh. I repeated that’s not funny, I’m a blond. I went outside to the front of the house to be alone, told my step mom do cake without me, and texted with my younger sister who is strong woman and I would say stronger than I am clearly.
My dad was strong enough to call the guy out who proceeded to ask for my forgiveness and apologized. His response was admitting he was wrong, and he meant no harm it was just a joke. No, that’s not funny, do you see how that’s not funny, I am a blond. He was agreeable but this scrote is not worth my energy.
Towards the end of the night his wife came up and actually THANKED ME for standing up to him and that while he means well he says these things sometimes and it’s hard they’ve got 3 boys (21-15 age range) and one 10 yr old girl and blah blah blah she keeps telling him this is not right, you have a daughter and a wife. Holy shit, light bulb moment, I’m surrounded by pick me’s!!!!! This dude and his boys are probably porn addicts too....
Proud of myself for sticking up...disillusioned by how disillusioned I’ve been for years....confirming my own pick me ways...the paralysis is lifting.
Thank you FDS.
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