Women Will Only Be Attracted For A Brief Window: Strike While The Iron Is Hot

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July 24, 2020

If you've been working on yourself by going to the gym and working on your frame, chances are, women from your day to day life have already started approaching you to start conversations or dropping some indicators of attraction your way.

I see this over and over again to my friends and it is frustrating beyond belief when guys fail to capitalize on opportunities.

I used to make the same mistake. When I was first starting out, I remember at a Meetup group, there was a cute girl who approached me after the event and had a conversation with me. I simply talked and talked, without ever asking her out or even getting her number. But I couldn't get my mind off of the girl! I thought about her after the meetup, super excited for the next time I would see her! And of course, I didn't want to rush things, I wanted to "play it slow..."

Well, after talking to her 2 more times after Meetups (both times without asking her out or even getting contact info), she stopped coming my way. That's when I made a fatal mistake of chasing... That's right, I approached her and tried to "warm her up" again. Big mistake. Now, she was cold, indifferent, just professional workplace vibes, not flirty.

This probably happens to you all the time as a beginner as well - especially if you're in High School or College. Meet a cute girl in your class, have an interesting conversation with her. Can't wait to see her again the next class! But don't get too aggressive! Let's play it nice and slow, since I feel a real connection with this girl!

Next class rolls around, same thing! Have interesting conversation! Dream about her... Still no escalation on your part... And poof, the attraction that was there initially is gone. Vanished into thin air... She goes cold and you desperately try to reignite that spark but it's over.

Why do women lose attraction so rapidly if you move too slow?

  • Playing it slow communicates to the girl that you're afraid to lose her... and nothing is more unattractive than a guy who doesn't even believe in himself and his own value
  • Playing it slow communicates that you won't know what to do on dates or in bed. It show inexperience as well as lack of leadership, and it shows her that most likely she will have to do all the work - which is not sexy at all.
  • Women get hit on a lot by other guys. Chances are, at least one of those guys isn't afraid of the girl (unlike you) and they move FAST. Women have a lot of options (if they are young and hot). Most don't have the patience to wait more than a week for you to make up your mind. Too many other guys hitting her up.

Here's what you do instead:

  • If a girl approaches you in any setting that doesn't involve getting a work related assignment done, that's as much of an indicator of attraction as you can possibly hope for. I swear, some guys are so inexperienced that unless the girl starts making out with them right away, they still don't know if the girl is attracted or not... Don't be one of those guys. If the girl walks up to you and strikes up a conversation, you can safely assume she is attracted. Always, Always, Always ask her out after the conversation ends. Do not play it slow
  • If a girl simply moves away from her original location and stands near you, this is often a sign of attraction. A lot of girls are too shy to directly approach men. But that doesn't mean they're not attracted. You'll often find these shy girls hovering near you. The telltale sign of attraction is if their feet are pointed towards you, since that's subconscious. If that's the case, approach! Even a simple, "Hi, my name is (blank), nice to meet you! What brings you here?" will work since she is already attracted
  • If a girl smiles at you when the two of you make eye contact, you definitely need to approach. Another blatant invitation to approach that a lot of guys fail to take advantage of. If a girl smiles at you, it's practically her way of saying, "You're hot, come talk to me, I want to know more about you and see what you're really about!" Again, even the simplest of openers will work since she is already attracted.
  • There are other indicators of attraction that are less reliable such as a girl looking down when you meet her eyes, or a girl playing with her hair when you walk next to her. In my opinion, you should always play aggressively and approach any woman that even gives the slightest hint of attraction. There's nothing to lose.

The next time you find yourself seeing these blatant signs of attraction and hesitating, realize that you don't have weeks to let the attraction "slowly build up". You have a very brief window. If you watch the NFL, defenses don't usually allow for crazy big plays to happen. There's only the tiniest of windows for the quarterback to make a play. If you play video games, a lot of hard bosses are invulnerable as they're attacking you and only offer a brief moment (usually indicated by a color change or something) where they are vulnerable to attack. DO NOT MISS THESE WINDOWS WITH GIRLS!

Fortune favors the bold.

Hesitation is the seed of defeat.

Strike while the iron is hot.

Post Information
Title Women Will Only Be Attracted For A Brief Window: Strike While The Iron Is Hot
Author ForeverKarlMalone
Upvotes 806
Comments 106
Date 24 July 2020 02:22 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/717504
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/hx2n3z/women_will_only_be_attracted_for_a_brief_window/
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[–]BasedAndRedPilled_156 points157 points  (11 children) | Copy

“If a girl approaches you.”

I fucked up this rule a lot, when I started working out there was this cute girl in the dining hall, I decided to talk to her one day to borrow a pencil and things went well. The next day she approaches me and said, “how was your workout?” And I didn’t ask her out. I learned that lesson the hard way, and considering I am way more muscular now I should’ve capitalized on that chance because covid broke all my plates :/

[–]daveed129720 points21 points  (10 children) | Copy

COVID only broke one of mine, she moved back to her home state to be with Grandma. Other than that a little banter and dirty talk once in a while keeps things on the back burner. I'm confident things will kick off well soon.

One thing to keep in mind is that familiarity should be an advantage for you to rekindle with a girl that is even 5% aware of the dangers of bar hopping.

[–]BasedAndRedPilled_9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

When I go back to college I might message a few plates, considering I’m way more alpha now(grew my hair long, lost a lot of fat, more muscle and a lot heavier, added some facial hair)than I was I think it will go well. I’m still somewhat of a newbie so can you give me any advice?

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points  (4 children) | Copy

I’m way more alpha now(grew my hair long,

Not criticizing you but I found this funny.

[–]BasedAndRedPilled_7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah I know, but I look like shit with shorter hair.

[–]ChadThundagaCock3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm the same way. I do best with the surfer/pretty boy (but masculine) look.

[–]BasedAndRedPilled_3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I go for a rugged look, long hair, beard and mustache.

[–]1chopping_livers4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I second the hair thing, but mainly that it's 50% physical, 50% mental game.

Work on your weakest parts, whichever they are. Be it posture, tonality, storytelling, perfume, higiene, chiseled body, meditating, strong male mentor etc.

Recently I've just been happy to have found trp. I'd be much worse off without it.

You know all the answers. Ask.

[–]vwowv1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not sure about this, but I think if you keep the banter going interest will continue to fade, permanently. But if you sort of cut her off, like long power outages you will keep her thirst. Then one day tell her to get her ass down there, and give her a rollercoaster ride.

[–]daveed12970 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Depends on the girl, that method will fucking fail with some. But feel it out yourself

[–]arakouzo189 points190 points  (9 children) | Copy

It's not as complex as this. Women get bored easily and have short attention spans.

When a woman talks to a guy, or starts trading messages on a a dating app, or any other method of engaging with a guy, she's bored and looking for some fun. She doesn't need to be groomed and prepped over a period of weeks. She's already looking for fun, right now. So you need to ask her out. Right now.

Because the next time you see her, she might not be looking for fun right now. It's been two weeks. She's been on four dates and had sex on one of them. She doesn't remember who you are or why she was interested in having fun with you, because that was something she felt in the moment and today she's not feeling it.

She's not consciously thinking you're timid or bad in bed or anything like that when you don't ask her out right away. Her mind doesn't get that far. She just figures you're not interested or you're busy and she wants to have fun right now, so she finds someone else and forgets all about you.

[–]1ForeverKarlMalone[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another great reason to strike while the iron is hot! Great point about short attention spans and boredom!

[–]ebaymasochist16 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy

She's not consciously thinking you're timid or bad in bed or anything like that when you don't ask her out right away. Her mind doesn't get that far.

This I disagree with. Even if it's not consciously choosing different labels for you, she may just wake up the next day and her brain had moved you to the "boring, probably a pussy" category. Sleep is when our mind organizes itself to clear room to focus on what is important. Her subconscious is constantly making these types of distinctions. Beyond that, if she felt the need to approach you, she may have build up a small fantasy about you not only being physically attractive, but brave and confident enough to ask her out, dominant, funny, etc. which is now shattered. Her instincts are now to move on to find someone who does fulfill that fantasy. This is why it used to be said all the time that it is good to be mysterious. She will project a fantasy onto you until you destroy it by disclosing the boring truth. I've had women say "I saw you and thought you might be a firefighter or something". Others say "Oh I can tell that you are a player". Sometimes its best to just be vague and let them think what they want.

[–]pplanes00990 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

No. The first statement is accurate. Women usually don't take it as far as "boring, pussy". They just move on, maybe to other guys or activities with friends. Not that complicated.

[–]ebaymasochist0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

. Women usually don't take it as far as "boring, pussy". They just move on, maybe to other guys

Yeah you're right. They say "he's a nice guy but I just don't see him that way.". Pretty sure this whole sub was built around that reality. Not that women are completely incapable of stringing together more than two thoughts about a person they've met.

[–]pplanes00990 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"He's a nice guy but I just don't see him that way." is more of a possibility than "boring, pussy" in a real life first encounter situation. May be different for online dating.

Point is women don't directly belittle men and "categorize" them as pussy if sparks don't fly.

[–]ebaymasochist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Point is women don't directly belittle men and "categorize" them as pussy

Yeah which is why I was deliberately saying it is done by her subconscious mind, not conscious. According to OP, sparks did fly but he didn't capitalize on them. So she lost interest.

Women are able to make these judgements within minutes of meeting someone. Some, like waitresses, bartenders, strippers, etc who are around men a lot can do this within seconds of seeing you.

[–]ChadThundagaCock1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And certain groups of people will deny this until the human race goes extinct.

[–]CAPIreland1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Was about to comment exactly this. Post went way too off rails, when this is the truth of it.

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l87 points88 points  (8 children) | Copy

There is one more reason you have to act fast: xenophilia.

Women are attracted to strangers. A good way to keep that in mind is think about it in evolutionary terms: a familiar guy, from within the band, was probably some kind of family. Perhaps a second cousin, or even a paternal half-brother. So, women evolving to prefer strangers, a well-documented evopsych finding, was nature's way of making sure they avoid incest.

So go ahead and cash in on the mysterious-stranger effect. Keep it sexual, don't turn into her familiar.

[–]haddonhopkins811 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great insight, i think way to often people discredit the evolutionary aspect of male/female attraction it’s literally our biology that drives and makes us do everything we do.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K18-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy

Man, why do we need a scientific breakdown of why women are attracted to strangers?

All you need to know is women like emotions. They like the intrigue and mystery.

You could take a Lacan spin on it. 'The woman does not exist'. On a psycho analytical level women don't know what true 'womanhood' is. They see so many different versions - mother, independent woman, body positive, thin, wifey, etc.

She is subconsciously ways wondering 'what is the true woman'.

This creates a subconscious pull with a stranger, such as 'mmmm, I wonder if this guy will use me for his jouissance, and there I may exist as woman'.

Sorry, I just hate Evo psyche. It doesn't account for so many other things and makes me feel so sterile.

[–]Senior Contributoradam-l5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do Lacan if it works for you.

Evopsych might click to other men.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I guess it's what we take to.

I'm more into humanist psychology. Yes, biology and aspects of evolution play a role but there a many more layers to humans which effect decision making.

I find evo psyche also loses the uniqueness of a person.

Evo psyche and behavioural psychology are good to an extent but what happens when people or a woman don't respond how you thought?

This began to happen in a lot of fields where evo psyche tried to predict behaviours of people only to find it didn't quite match up.

There is a lot science can't explain.

Just questions to think about.

[–]RStonePT4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Adam is pointing to the moon and you're busy critiquing the finger.

[–]INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy


If I give you $300 can we consult on it? 😂😂😂

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

almost as if it's priced to keep certain people out?

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, I made this mistake over and over as a young man, with predictable results. If you think you saw an IOI, you saw an IOI and should act upon it by approaching/escalating.

[–]oldslut30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

i agree and have seen this many times in my own interactions. if you wait too long, the attraction is gone.

[–]LotBuilder30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good info. I was very lucky in life that my best friends older brother was a natural born lady killer. God made him 5’10 because it would have been ruthlessly unfair to women for him to be 6’2+. He has the charm and charisma of a giant. He coached us on women from junior high to college where he was a college soccer player and the president of his fraternity. The guy had to have banged 300 before graduating from college and this was in the late 90’s before hook up apps and even cell phones.

He said that once a girl has shown interest it is on you to close them as quickly as possibly while still being somewhat classy. They show interest, invite them over to do something innocent (study, movie, swimming) and close the deal. Mix in alcohol or weed as needed but it’s rarely necessary. Do as little talking as possible because it’s more likely to hurt than help you. The girl already wants you, only time and inaction can change that. Get her alone with you as quickly as possible without seeming creepy or desperate.

[–]1ForeverKarlMalone[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Man, that's almost unfair what a head start everyone who was friends with that guy had.

[–]aFida955 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't fret it you live and learn man, every dog has it's day. One thing i noticed about these naturals who have high body counts when young start slowing down in the mid to late twenties. Been there done that type of situation

I've had one such player tell me that he is tired of sex and he'd rather go on a romantic date lol, saying that even in casual sex he gives more than he gets.

[–]Jr1010101020 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Solid advice. I’ve missed many opportunities in my life trying to slow roll it.

[–]TeamLitten9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think my worst offense of this was last year at a Halloween party. I was a sophomore in high school and it was the first time I ever drank. When I’m drunk, I usually like to just vibe and sit on the couch. The couch was full so this tall blonde girl comes and sits on my lap while facing me. We get into small talk for a little bit but that’s just it, only small talk. I basically froze, she got up and left after a minute. After the party I realized, wow I’m a dumbass because she definitely wanted to hookup. I know this because she hooked up with someone else right after sitting on my lap.

I have a question though, I’m still nervous since I’m young (17) so how do I get over that nervousness and ask a girl out? How do I push myself to be aggressive? I feel as if I’m more so afraid of the consequences that comes with asking girls out (mainly in my small high school where everyone knows everybody else’s business)

[–]lastdazeofgravity4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I never got over that in high school. But it completely changed first day of college. No judgment from anyone. It was great.

[–]MilkMoney1112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have no shame.

I’ll give you an example when I was young. I remember playing the board game Risk with some friends in school one night. Everyone was playing dirty especially this really cute girl. We’ll call her Kay. I didn’t know much about the game and realized I was going to lose. So my goal was to screw over the girl and basically kamikaze dive her since she was playing dirty.

When I kept attacking and losing but still going people were like “what are you doing.” And I said it’s obvious I’m gonna lose... I wanna fuck Kay (as in fuck her over). It got dead silent. Awkward. And my stomach sunk bc I just realized what I said. But then I thought to myself. Fuck it I do wanna fuck her I don’t give a shit. People can know I’m not ashamed. I just owned it.

It worked out. Instead of the awkward orbiter girls collect I was the upfront dude that girls found confident and interesting. They knew what I wanted, no games. But they also knew I’d walk away if I wasn’t getting it. Easily. Bc I did it with other girls and had options.

Never fucked Kay, but I fucked two of her close friends and she became incredibly jealous. Go after what you want with no shame. And if ppl try to shame you for it, own it. Say yeah I did, and? Watch them watch in awe as you’re so forward.

Of course throttle this shit. Read ppl out. Don’t go around being rapey or creepy. Be attractive first off. Which sounds like you are.

[–]JoseAmaya978 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank u for this advice, I honestly needed this

[–]Gordon-G26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

They constantly flake like a cat, come and go. Best never to chase, let her come to you!

We all know what happens when you try and chase a cat ?! 🤷‍♂️

[–]alekhineX3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

they run faster! and they remember ur face so u can never touch that cat. its unreal the resemblance of cat and female.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Good post.

I wrote on this subject long ago when I was still frequenting the seduction subreddit. I call this principle the Signal of Opportunity. In essence, women do not make the first move. Instead, they position themselves so that you can more easily make the first move. This is about as much of a "first move" as you can expect a reasonably attractive woman to get.

When a woman gives you the Signal of Opportunity, seize it.

[–]aFida952 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Reading choosing signals is 50% of the game. Many people when starting out are clueless but once you train your brain, you can notice all the women sending sexual energy towards you.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Im convinced a lot of guys problems is that they dont know how to pick up on IOIs, the SoO. Recognizing these behavioral cues is literally half the game.

[–]SavorThePill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How fast do you recommend to move after you've initiated contact and the interaction has gone well? Try to f-close when you meet her? If not, how soon should you move when making first contact via text...next day, a few days?

I've heard advice that suggests taking things slower once you've gotten contact info and/or after you've already had a date with her and it working. I've heard experiences from guys saying slower pacing has worked as well.

[–]ebaymasochist22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ask her out: risk taking, confidence, spontaneity, seize the day mentality, opportunity minded.

Don't ask her out: risk adverse, insecurity, plan and prepare mode, maybe you're gay or have a girlfriend, weak or afraid of sex.

One of the worst things I see on this sub and society at large, is the mentality that all women are the same, replaceable, not unique, that we should let them just pass in and out of our lives for a few seconds without finding out who they are... Shit like "Don't approach women at the gym" pussy articles written by ugly women and beta males kind of conveys the message that we will live forever and can afford to miss out on great opportunities. Not all women are the same. There are 20 different music genres she could listen to. She might hate what you love, or you might have the same interests. That applies to movies, books, type of friends and family, world view, education level, hobbies.. This shit might not be that important for getting laid once, but if you want anything more, its important to find someone you're compatible with.

What the fuck are we doing by not meeting as many women as possible to find the right ones? Any little reason that prevents this is bad programming, it's fucking garbage. Any little fear or inhibition needs to be rooted out and replaced with the reality that we do not have unlimited time, and we deserve to have what we want, right now.

[–]aFida955 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

True!! Rules are for Betas... Unless you're SMV is really low, not giving a fuck about social conventions while also being somewhat calibrated is a big DHV.

Unless it's work, hit on women wherever you want. I've had so many times that a woman politely rejected me first but then came around after running into me a few times.

This doesn't mean to be a sperg and hit on the chick while she is squatting 200 lbs with her headphones on or aggressively escalate on a girl you're talking to in a church

[–]Shieldless_One2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The bit about people saying not to approach at the gym and shit like that reminds me of the saying, “you’re playing not to lose, instead of playing to win.”

[–]WhiteGhosts6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

My problem is that i get caught by surprise and only realise after a conversation that a gal was sending messages

[–]vulgar_display_8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the type of Top Post that should be the norm — true, tried and applied RP theory, with less emphasis on buzzwords like “plates” and “holding frame” (not that those are irrelevant) but tangible & nuanced real world examples.

The second attraction indicator OP points out is spot on. About 2 or 3 years ago, I was at a concert taking a break from the crowded mayhem of the pit, just chilling and talking with the friend that I came with. This cute latin brunette girl literally comes up all alone, and leans back on the railing 1-2 feet away from me. I wasn’t quite as confident then so I just ignored her and continued making small talk with my boy. After standing there for a minute or two she actually broke code and struck up a conversation. I ended up getting her number. Of course I didn’t fucking text her because I was exclusive with someone at the time, but I should have. Mark my words that was one of the last times I gave commitment to anyone; so many missed opportunities because of that lame shit.

TL;DR Learn to read signals.

[–]Zech4riah4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You salvaged your post in later half of the post.

Playing slow is just fine as long as you can keep her excitement up and you are in the same social circle (these "meetups" you were talking about). But like you mentioned you must be aware that she has plenty of other options so that's why you should pull the trigger asap - not because she thinks that you are afraid to lose her or you don't know what to do on dates or bed.

otherwise your bullet points on what should you do and when was quite good.

When I was starting out cold approach and even a time before that (when I was not aware of TRP) I never "chased" women who gave me long eye contacts and/or smiles because I wanted to be a cool james bond and wanted the girl come to talk to me. Nowadays I realize that girl giving that level of IOI is a equivalent of man approaching woman.

TL;DR - When given IOI or getting approached, talk to her or close asap. Sometimes window is only couple of seconds.

[–]_-resonance-_5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

What I need to remember is often when a woman approaches or sends IOIs, she’s not consciously aware that she is asking you to escalate.

I find that if I’m not using overt direct game, I need to incorporate more plausible deniability into the conversation. In other words, if I don’t drop a ton of BDE upfront, it’s important to incorporate plausible deniability in order to warm her up and make it easier for her to say yes to the date suggestion.

A woman can send IOI and be aloof when you escalate if she doesn’t have plausible deniability. This is where social skills actually come into play (as opposed to just making it clear how few fucks you give).

Tldr: give some fucks, but only .1% of those you carry.

[–]klayser_Soze0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

In other words, invite her to go somewhere with you instead of asking her out outright

[–]_-resonance-_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, partly. Def good for a first date to be something you’ll enjoy anyway; hint that you’re going out either way and it’s just a natural part of your day, and that the “date” is more like an offer for her to join you.

But what I meant was about implementing more plausible deniability (friendly banter) if I’m not going to be overtly direct/sexual.

Have gotten so used to strutting BDE but with a 9 or 10 it’s less impressive, so I need to remember to introduce PD so she’s more comfortable setting a date despite her BF & orbiters.

[–]BurnieSlander4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The hotter the girl, the smaller the window. In some case, you have about 5 seconds.

[–]GTR_SKYlyN7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is true guys, have had the same experience. I remember the early days of dating my girlfriend (currently a 2 year relo), she would always tell me that she loved that I knew what I wanted.

She also use to say “Some other guys just play it slow and are too professional, but you went straight to the point and you knew what you wanted and that was me. I loved that.”

I know it sounds weird to some guys like, maybe I should play it slow so she doesn’t freak out and shit. Nah bro real talk, girls don’t want that. they want you to lead them to the right direction. I’m glad I don’t play shit slow anymore lol.

[–]FreddyMishima7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is completely antithetical to TRP.

women will only be attracted for a brief window

This sentence can be translated as “I have low self esteem.” I’m sorry that people are only attracted to you for a brief window as you claim, but this is absolutely not true of all people in general.

The Red Pill thing to do here is not to “strike while the iron is hot” but rather to change yourself and your circumstances until people are attracted to you for longer than a brief window, and then “strike the pot” whenever the fuck you want.

[–]fuckyallmat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The only redpill comment in here. I was laughing at the dissection of these kids. My approach is totally different. I remain totally aloof and ignore the fuck out of them. Turns out that most of them still want my dick just as bad even after years.

[–]FreddyMishima3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. It’s not even a big thing to have a person be attracted to you for a long time. There’s a few girls I’ve been fucking for longer than TEN YEARS with no commitment or paying any type of emotional price. The idea that “girls will only be attracted to you for a brief period” literally makes no fucking sense to a dude for whom this isn’t true. This statement says nothing about girls and everything about the person making the statement, because the statement is a completely false generalization

[–]inbredostrptw0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

People aren’t gonna sit around for you. They have their own lives.

[–]FreddyMishima1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

People aren’t gonna magically stop being attracted to you if you’re genuinely attractive either

[–]FadedTony8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

I agree, I've seen this happen plenty of times, it's hard for me because

The "creeper" fear has really fcked my head up, a lot of times I think the girl is just being nice and I don't want to come off as creepy asking for her number when she wasn't trying to flirt at all

Social media is slowly killing off guys that would approach girls but I imagine are put off by not trying to appear too aggressive

It's so dumb because if you asked girls I imagine 99% of them would WANT to meet their partner via in person and by them approaching rather than online but all you see is girls complaining how they want to be left alone and guys are creeps ???

[–]KneedHelpQuicc8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women barely know what they want dude. If she’s attracted to you it literally doesn’t matter. They say “oh I don’t want dudes approaching me while I’m doing something” but if Chad came up to them an hour later they’d be all over it. Don’t listen to that shit in the media it’s bogus man. Notice what they do not say

[–]lastdazeofgravity2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea this is why i went MGTOW

[–]Jcorb5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

So, this literally happened just this morning, and I've been wondering what I should've done (if anything?).

Just a short interaction; I get on the elevator, I see someone else is coming, so I hold it open. Winds up being a pretty attractive girl (far as I can tell, anyways, with us both wearing masks).

She strikes up conversation immediately, asking "what's open" on the floor I'm going to (which I tell her is work), and I ask her the same, and she says "doctor's office for allergies". The elevator door opens, and she looks right at me saying have a good one, and hope I have a good weekend.

Whole encounter was probably 20-30 seconds, yet it felt like there was serious interest from her, but I just didn't know what to do?

Should I have stepped out of the elevator with her, and ask if she had any plans for lunch?

[–]1ForeverKarlMalone[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like she excused herself because you weren’t interesting enough in the conversation.

You still need a basic semblance of flirting skills to keep the girl engaged even if they’re initially attracted.

Next time, find something to tease her about, push pull, don’t just talk about boring things all day.

I know it’s harder than I make it sound but you must be aggressive in the actual conversation as well. Don’t be afraid to take risks and flirt or sexualize the conversation. Playing it safe does not work

[–]alikebabay0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yes. And now you might never see her again.

[–]Jcorb1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Oh, I definitely won't see her again.

Still, it's good to have a bit of an idea how to handle it, should I ever find myself in a similar situation ever again. I don't "think on my feet" very well when it comes to this stuff.

[–]alikebabay4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey, I gotta run. Lets meet later for coffee. Give me your number. Yes/no, buye buye, nice talking to you.

[–]Never_seen_username1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This actually works incredibly well...

[–]Psychological_Radish4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is the single biggest reason why guys miss out on sexual opportunities.

The confusing part for a lot of guys, I think, is that sometimes the escalation window remains open indefinitely is she's extremely attracted. I know a Chad who is like this. He still thinks that the best way to attract a girl is to "become friends with her first" because it has seemingly worked for him.

Well, no. You could have made a move on Day One and she would have been 100% down; waiting several months was simply a huge waste of time and did squat to improve your chances.

Whatever the case, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by moving quickly, and nothing to gain and everything to lose by moving slowly.

[–]aFida952 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Chad here and this only works for women who are way low SMV then you. If you think an HB8 and up will keep waiting for you to make a move while she has a line of hot rich guys hitting on her, you're out of your mind

[–]Shieldless_One1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True the higher smv the girl has the less she will wait for you. Probably because she has a lot of other guys hitting her up and someone else made a move before you did.

[–]PepinoSF1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Usually they wait until the next ovulation. Then she subconciously decides that you are useless and moves on

[–]robfrumtha8050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

her vaginal secretions attract d-bags from up to 70 miles away......

[–]DeJokerHD2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I learned this before i found the red pill, i talked to a girl for 3 monthes (gone nowhere ofc).

Thanks for reminding me this 💯👌🏼

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

/u/epiclevelcheater /u/theredpike

+1 please, he earned it.

[–]ratpoison9874 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Are you saying we should capitalize on all opportunities or exercise choice when being approached.

Just because I lost 80 pounds and got jacked doesn’t mean I should be slamming every girl that approaches me.

What you gotta learn is there’s different strokes for different folks. If you’re frustrated watching me turn someone down who you would consider going after - that sounds largely like a you problem.

[–]1ForeverKarlMalone[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Move fast with girls you’re interested in. That is all

[–]ratpoison9874 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love the Coles note reply. That’s more my speed. I’m a preacher of less is more. Your reply was the nail on the head.

I thought of one I’m interested in and - your post reminded me about it’s validity. U gotta move fast. Otherwise you lose out - to another guy or simply to loss of interest.

Too much jibber jabber and you’re friend zoned. Strike while the irons hot as you said.

[–]vwowv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a passing woman looks at you and she touches her hair (IOI), and you don't reciprocate in any way, you can turn around and watch her walk away. She will all but never turn around and take one last look at you. She gave up. Looking back would be strong initiation on her part. Women are highly resistant to initiating anything that requires balls.

[–]R9-295x2-x21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How to explain attraction window of opportunity? Use football and video game analogies. I love it.

[–]RPOpenUp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Simple and to the point post.

Which is absolutely fine.

Also to the ones that never approach:

Girls have a hell of a lot of different ways to show interest, Go find out what those IOI's are for yourself instead of reading it from a pro. Just approach and see it like an experiment just to get to know women better.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This happened to me recently. I met a hot neighbor and she suggested we go out in person, in my DMs, and over text. I let it ferment for just 2 days to play it cool then suggested we go out. Suddenly she was “busy all week.

My question is- where’s the balance between playing it cool and striking while the iron is hot?

[–]1ForeverKarlMalone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You play it cool until she is attracted, then you strike while the iron is how by escalating before she loses interest

[–]OneCovah2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A girl is nice, you try to be a gentleman and not move too quick, then she turns cold. What happened? Prince Charming fantasy wore off. Women want a man to sweep her off her feet into a romantic paradise and if that does not happen she loses interest. She sees you, thinks "Maybe that is my Prince Charming" and gives you chance. When it turns out you are a regular guy she loses interest. Since all men are in the end regular guys, all women eventually lose interest, light switch effect in sidebar. Women cannot sustain passion in any case as all married men find out.

[–]Shieldless_One1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men want sex ASAP. If you can telegraph that in your conversations and physicality while being socially calibrated with an abundance mentality you will come across as genuine in my experience.

Men are the initiators, women are the rejectors. Let her slow it down if things are moving too fast.

[–]CommonKoala61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for this. Now I know I need to talk to girls, be slow and passive and don't do anything aggressive.

Appreciate for that

[–]stirringlion1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, that’s actual knowledge he’s dropping 👍🏻

[–]brutieboy390 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Damn crazy that this was posted today right after I had the perfect opportunity to ask out this girl that works at my gym but blue pilled it. Fuck

[–]samsmith672 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have a girl at my gym that i think is giving me IOIs as well. I usually just show up, do my workout and dip while i notice alot of other guys there waste time chatting with her and some of them even hang around a half hr or more after they've finished working out to chat her up. Those beta humps must show up 'hoping' she is in that day. She loves that attention and i don't give it other than 'hello' or 'bye'.

She seems to go out of her way to say 'bye' when i'm leaving even when i don't see her on my way out.. I haven't even bothered to spend more than 10sec talking to her but i think i can get the digits. I hesitate because she is alot younger than me so...

[–]DouglasPR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Another complementary aspect of this is that when they take initiative the window is always short, she is afraid of slutshaming, and of someone she knows see that she chases guys, means to lose face, to lose value. When you feel she is ashamed of colleagues, friends or family a good move is to invite her to join you in some activity, not a date itself, it will provide her with plausible excuses and the results are the same if you know your game and how to escalate.

[–]GastrointestinalRein0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same thing happened a few months ago and she went cold, i was just wondering if i should talk to her if i see her once this lockdown ends where i stay.

[–]stolperman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good article. Many men are still drawn to the Hollywood-version of women who take as much time as necessary to get into a relationship. It might have been the case many decades ago, but times and technology have gotten faster. A hundred years ago you might have been one of five young dudes in your village where are way more women, because most of men are at war or have already died. Taking your time in getting to know a person was worth the effort. The chances that a 1930s chad might move to your village with his parents were pretty low.

But for today, we have access to trains, busses, planes and cars. We have Tinder, Instagram, all sorts of things that make it easy to worship women, or better said for women to get their daily dose of worship. No one needs to be physically there to make an impression of someone, and if someone gets lost, we can replace them.

[–]custoscustodis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Truth. In the past, you could take your time. Now, they are getting hit up IRL and online by hundreds of dudes.

[–]Anubis_Is_Alive860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As a man getting back in to the game this will help immensely! Thank you!

[–]Lost_soul950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome post! Resonates a lot with me, in fact escalation is probably my biggest sticking point. I think it comes down to a deep fear, I have because of my disability that someone is going to beat me up/and or she is initially, attracted, but what if she finds out im disabled? then she will lose attraction (although I don't think this has ever actually happened it is fear of getting beat up energy that causes me to think this way.

[–]jaximus740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

League of legends player? XD “Hesitation is the seed of defeat “ - Akali

[–]ryanbambi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you think of sex as a sort of game or reward then you will never attain it, maybe you’ll have a few one night stands but guys stop being so creepy, stop making these big “game plans” and “strategies of how to get laid” and start focusing on being a better fucking person

[–]rizz-catdog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m legit punching the air right now

[–]MakeSail0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Anytime a woman approaches to start a conversation it is a huge sign of initial attraction. Take my advice. No matter what she looks like sit down and talk to her.

How do you know the timeline to close the deal? of course you have to act, but at what speed and why? If you are able to establish a connection with the woman you will know how fast or slow to escalate.

If, as a man, you know how to flirt, you can establish the relative level of attraction before approaching. Don't approach based on the "slightest hint of attraction". Why, interested women will give strong signals of flirtation to a man she is interested in.

[–]debuggingaids0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Opportunities bear that name because of their ephemerality, never let them go to waste.

Like most of you guys, I learned it the hard way more than once, letting interested girl go away without ever trying more (for good and for disinterest).

See it than grab it, no hesitation.

[–]nofears0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Finally a decent post. Nothing new, but a good reminder of what I have experienced as well.

You must escalate or get a number on the first encounter. Sometimes you'll get a second chance when you meet again, but never a third... Unless she's desperate, fat, or ugly.

[–]samsmith670 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The OP is correct on all counts. Prime post.

[–]ChadThundagaCock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is this sub good again? This is great content. And it's true.

This was just what I needed before going out tonight. And I'm bringing a FWB, so the preselection will supercharge the process.

Take my upvote. I love the video game boss analogy.

Only people who would have a problem with this content are...well, you know the type.

[–]JedYorks-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, so i guess I didn’t miss any opportunities

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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