Greetings all,

I'm about to get traditional here so for everyone who is more liberally minded/has looser views on this topic, bear with me.

For those of you who were looking for confirmation from the title, yes, I was raised with a Catholic/Christian background, but I don't really think that is relevant here. Everyone has their own mind to choose which views they align themselves with, so it is also definitely possible for others to reject their family's traditions and practices.

That being said, I've always been more spiritually in-tuned or inclined, and I have always valued interactions with others on a much higher level than it seems a lot of other people do. I was born in '88 and grew up during the 90's and 2000's, and it seemed like people back then had a bit more genuine care for others. It wasn't a harsh time where people refused to interact with others, or even go outside out of fear. During my time, Halloween was still a very big part of culture, and every Halloween, the sidewalks in most neighborhoods would be lined with children and their families.

At some point, all of that changed and people started to close themselves off to the world, both in body and in mind. It's become a world where people only expose themselves for a brief time to snatch and grab whatever they want and then quickly close themselves off again, and nowhere is this more apparent, in my opinion, than in dating and relationships.

Casual dating/ "hookup culture" is a dreadful, soul-crushing thing to experience today, and sometimes it seems like there isn't even a choice to participate in it or not. Everyone is more or less indoctrinated into it once they reach the age that they start dating. It's turned into a game where people simply get what they want from others and enjoy themselves at other people's expenses. People have relaxed their standards around sex and dating and that has become the new standard, while those that are still out there searching for a (rare) meaningful relationship are forced to put themselves at risk in order to find what they've been looking for.

Sex has become a thing that people take part in for pleasure rather than an act in which they are expressing themselves and their feelings/emotions for a partner. Some people don't see any problems with this, of course, because they stand to benefit from having relaxed boundaries that they may force others to adhere to by feigning real interest and feeling for someone in order to eventually have sex with them for personal gain. People now almost expect sex early in the beginning of a relationship for various reasons ("try before you buy/ well if things don't work out, at least I got something out of it").

How many times have any of you had purely mechanical sex before where it was obvious that the only reason you were there was for you to potentially get off? For those that have experienced sex with genuine feelings and love versus sex for pure utility and pleasure, I think we can agree which one is better, and the fact that the former happens much later and usually in the context of some form of a relationship proves to me that sex is, and should be the pinnacle of any relationship where all feelings and concern for someone are communicated through the act itself. If you ever want to know how much a partner cares about you or what they think of you, having sex with them will tell you what you need to know, and sure, it's possible that someone can be "good at sex" where they mimic those particular actions that causes someone to feel similar, but it's not the same as being driven by real feelings and emotions.

CMV

TL;DR - Read the last three paragraphs.

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Edit: For those of you who have missed the point (this place wouldn't be the same without you), I'm not saying that sex is the only way to express feelings for a partner, nor am I saying that sex can only be had inside of a committed relationship. I'm simply saying that sex is a form of non-verbal communication that communicates feelings between the people having it, and in whatever capacity those feelings exist in. If there are little or no feelings, those will likely be conveyed during sex. I'm sure that anyone who's had "empty sex" will know what I'm talking about. Likewise, if you have genuine feelings for your partner, those feelings will motivate a person's actions during sex in which they will be felt by the other person, provided that they are receptive and can perceive those feelings. Anybody who's experienced a dead bedroom will be able to note the difference between their partners previous participation and their "let's just get this over with" attitude, and I'm sure it is quite off-putting to have sex with someone who "isn't into it" when you are. Especially when they claim to still "love" you. Words and actions should mirror each other, of course.

I'm not talking about sex outside of a relationship, as there aren't likely any feelings present to communicate to each other, in which case it's just sex for the sake of pleasure and not what I'm talking about here.

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Edit 2: For those of you who are just lazy and looking to write off this post because you personally like having casual sex over more romantic sex, you fail so don't bother.