My confidence is fake

FormerBradFutureChad · 2020-08-05T11:49:19+00:00

You're 2 years younger than me and actually want to learn so I'll bite a bit from I've learned, noticed and know.

After discovering trp 2 years ago, I tried to boost my confidence by overcoming others. Learning social skills, reading books, getting jacked, avoiding any failures. But some days ago, I encountered someone who was better than me in every possible way, an utimate chad with a shitton of money, who was extremely charismatic.

Imo, this part is a bit wonky and needs fixing.

- What do you mean boost your confidence by overcoming others? Do you have a superiority complex? (hint: you do, based on what you wrote after)

- Avoiding any failures? How do you avoid failures? Are you a guru? You better hope your ass is failing otherwise you're not growing at all. I'm obviously not saying failing in school or life in general, but you gotta learn to have outcome independence and grow with your failures (If you bench 225 for 4 reps and can't do the 5th, technically that's a failure. Do you AVOID your failures and never try the 5th rep? Fuck that dude.)

- Learning social skills you say? You learned jack shit. You don't learn social skills. Which is the exact fucking problem most people in this subreddit have. They read and they read and they learn and they get jacked and then they think everything falls into place. No it fucking doesn't you dumb dumbs. You need to PRACTICE. You need to get into the same situation as you just did over and over again and realize what you need to improve on. Looks just makes it so much easier and girls and so much more open to advances because of looks, that's it. It's not a free pass, it's an invitation to try.

- The last thing I would say, is to stop thinking about other people. ESPECIALLY random strangers you just met who you are clearly jealous of and have oneitis for (yes, for the guy). Your confidence isn't fake. It's just not out there. Your frame is fragile and hasn't caught up with your SMV. Honestly, if I was in your shoes and really struggling socially, I would chat that guy up and become good friends with him. You tend to adopt traits from your social groups and being around people like that definitely helps.

Nergaal · 2020-08-05T14:52:24+00:00

this is the opposite of outcome indepedence

pyth0ns · 2020-08-05T14:42:16+00:00

Bro Do you really think that because you're 'RP' now you'll get every single chick in the world.

Grow the fuck up man!

She wasn't into you. Simply put Get over it and yourself.

You sound like someone that will rage beat or rape a chick because he couldn't get her or felt like you were lead on by her...

drv12021 · 2020-08-05T16:04:03+00:00

No matter what you do or what you are, there will always be someone up above. The sooner you accept this truth, the less you will bleed in the future.

complex21 · 2020-08-05T14:27:05+00:00

You need to work on your inner game. Stop focusing on outer things. Know in your mind, body, and soul that you are enough and you have abundance to give and that you are a high value man.

Once you work on that inner game, your actions and outward appearance begins to align with your thoughts.

You dont worry about anyone else, because you have so much abundance and value, nothing bothers you.

WhatRemainsAfter · 2020-08-05T16:15:27+00:00

Win some, lose some.

Why worry over it?!

I would have approached 10 more girls, got rejected 9 times and still fucked one bitch.

It is not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up with a smirk over face.

Now GTFO!

catz123456 · 2020-08-05T17:01:18+00:00

Start by getting off the blackpill. You need to get "chad" out of your head. yes girls love the top 20% and even better a top 5% man but this chad thing is overblown on the internet. I worked door at a popular club for a few years and you'd be surprised the amount of "chads" that were left alone at the end of the night usually because they didn't approach/recognize signals. Chad doesn't always mean alpha. Many times the slightly above average guy with great social skills would succeed. SMV is not just about being a chad.

cydestiny · 2020-08-05T16:22:28+00:00

Abundance mindset 1, Scarcity mindset 0.

Whisper · 2020-08-05T19:11:58+00:00

Lemme guess: You were educated in the United States public education system.

... in other words, in a loser factory where everything is a test designed for you to pass, every failure is because of things you could control, and every grade is based on avoiding failure as much as possible.

So now, any time you come out of any interaction without getting what you wanted, you feel like you must not have been "good enough".

Wrong mindset.

If you do not hear "NO" a lot, you aren't asking for enough.

If you do not fail a lot, you are not trying hard enough shit.

If you never drop one on the bars, you aren't lifting heavy enough.

The world doesn't care how much or how frequently you fail. It only cares how spectacularly you succeed.

theholyassasin · 2020-08-05T15:42:34+00:00

She just wasn’t interested bro. Also, don’t let someone else fuck up your confidence, that shows insecurity. Just know that there’s always someone that don’t got it like you do.

redpillthrowaway1988 · 2020-08-05T19:38:18+00:00

Chad was playing chess while you were playing checkers.

grkfx · 2020-08-05T23:16:54+00:00

Get over it. You’ve probably been that Chad to another guy before and wrecked that guys world too. This whole post actually just shows how much power you’re giving to females. Nothing really to do with that guy.

VigilantSmartbomb · 2020-08-05T17:39:48+00:00

bruh who put on his post flair thats hilarious xDDD

jojojijo333 · 2020-08-05T15:16:08+00:00

Accept and surrender to the truth/non-existence/human condition and its meaninglessness/randomness

Accept you’re nothing/deserve nothing, no worry/hope/expectations and focus on living/being

RedDeAngelo · 2020-08-05T16:41:14+00:00

I try to game a girl,

what game? you invited them to dance and teased? should have just started chatting the one you liked, and isolated.

bosshawg502 · 2020-08-05T17:43:35+00:00

There’s always gonna be a Chad whos more Chad than you. Always. So do what you can to improve as best you can and get in where you fit in.

0087621 · 2020-08-05T17:54:30+00:00

I've read all the responses, will answer here instead of replying to everyone.

This post came out as extremely whiny and blackpilled. After rereading it I felt like a dumbo, you all are right. Thanks for the advice you gave me!

mrmaskfawkes · 2020-08-05T18:20:58+00:00

My friend there is a reality every competitor, be it chess, martial arts, or what have you.

There is always someone better than you and if there isn't it won't stay that way forever.

Dating is like any other skill and that means that there is someone who is better than you at it and plainly you're only goal should be to better yourself and grind in your hours.

You want to lift heavy? Go lift every chance you can.

You want to knock out some guy that tries to fight you? You better start sparring with people that are better than you on the mat.

You want to beat the world champ? Chances are you're gonna have to do more than he ever dreamed and even steal a few notes from his play book.

I suggest you get back up and start grinding again. That's the only way to get better.

lululenox · 2020-08-05T18:47:34+00:00

Dude stop comparing yourself with others. The only person you should ever compare yourself with is your past self

OneTrueQ · 2020-08-05T20:25:33+00:00

Same shit happened to me a while back. Bailed chatting up a girl. She wasn’t super interested. I saw her so eager to speak to some gigachad later. It was clearly nothing for him judging by body language. Might have fucked her that night. Haven’t been to a club since, lol. Went on to win in other realms but something especially bothered me about that night.

Odds are you are greater than said chad in some sphere. Play to your strengths and shape you environment. Don’t fear failure bc it will be your greatest anchor. Confidence will come through that.

RPOpenUp · 2020-08-06T08:15:47+00:00

How did op get the cucked by Chad tag lmao

Spartawolf · 2020-08-05T14:33:24+00:00

It's a skill, don't beat yourself up and keep practicing. You didn't get with this girl, that's fine, just go for others. You invited a group over in this case so if one peels off you had other options. There will always be someone better than you and that in itself isn't something you can influence. What you can work on is you, and over time you will start to encounter less people better than you. Don't let this setback put you out of the fight. Learn from it and keep going.

guynpdx · 2020-08-05T19:04:14+00:00

So you didn't get the one girl you wanted? Sounds like mini oneitis.

Gackt · 2020-08-05T19:28:51+00:00

talk for 10 SECONDS, and fuck.

Pump and dump, never commit.

youngfuture7 · 2020-08-05T20:32:56+00:00

After 2 years you still didn’t read the sidebar good enough. Your mentality has to be balanced in “I’m enough” to “I’m a god of my own little word”, not “I should be the ultimate god and best in everything”. Guess what, in life there WILL always be someone that’s better on every little aspect in life. You thought you were financially set, well guess what Jeff Bezos outclasses your budget by probably 1000000000x. There will always be someone better in gaming. Some are just naturally born so, move on.

rprookie · 2020-08-05T21:20:06+00:00

Hypergamy. And Why? Because your acting fucking beta. It’s not necessarily your confidence it’s your self esteem that fixated on other people. Switch yourself self esteem to be internal.

gayqwertykeyboard · 2020-08-06T02:17:03+00:00

To add onto what others have said, what did you even DO in the first place? Did you even talk to the girl? lol. All you said was she looked at you and smiled and that’s all that happened. Maybe next time you should go talk to her and introduce yourself...You act like you put in so much effort and it was all wasted...when really you didn’t do jack shit.

TeddyMGTOW · 2020-08-06T18:13:56+00:00

Fake it to you make it.

Dvrkvision · 2020-08-07T12:07:59+00:00

Go read OmLaLa's field report in the sidebar.

Title	My confidence is fake
Author	0087621
Upvotes	108
Comments	66
Date	August 5, 2020 11:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/i43msz/my_confidence_is_fake/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-confidence-is-fake.720754 https://theredarchive.com/post/720754