I have lurked here for a while and a lot of times I see some great points in this subreddit and sometimes the men here are completely misinformed. I will give my background and history with women.
First, I have no qualms with giving my name. My name is Brandon Gallemore. You guys can look me up or reach out if you are feeling the need.
I was born in 1989 at the very end of the year. I grew up pretty poor, initially in Fort Worth, TX.
I had an older half-brother who lived with his Mom down in the Houston area. I also grew up with an older sister and a younger brother, each of us separated by about roughly a year and a half. I was smack dab in the middle as a kid. By the time I was five we moved out to a place called Weatherford, TX on the outskirts of town. Not sure who cheated on who, because I never got a clear answer before my Dad passed away, but one of my parents cheated on the other during a big period of drug use/alcohol abuse in both of their lives. Everything fell apart and my Mom met my step-father, Steve.
He was a single guy who lived in a place that his Mom had owned prior. Steve is a musician and smoked a lot of weed and did other illicit drugs while we were kids. He never had children of his own and so instead of talking to us, he chose to spank us EVERY SINGLE TIME we did something wrong. This is where I think I became somewhat of a bitch, or a beta as many here like to say.
The neighborhood we were in was right on the boundary of poverty and lower-middle class. We had beat up trailer houses and an old apartment building a few houses down from our house. My Mom's family lived in a place like this while we lived paycheck to paycheck and maintaining a fairly poor diet (another beta move). As a kid I was always up to something. I was skinnier than most of my friends, and goofy. I had to be funny and intelligent to make up for a lack of my own perceived weakness (more on that later).
On top of growing up in a poor neighborhood we also dealt with my Dad being in and out of prison. My main influence on who taught me to be a man was my Mom. In my opinion, that shouldn't ever have to happen. The community around my family failed us. Maybe because we were white, we were perceived as being ok, but we weren't at that time. More apathy from those around me made me angrier. I became more beta as a result. I white-knighted for girls in school and got into fights for them multiple times. It was usually the same few girls dating shitty dudes and then the guys would hit them, so I would feel the need to hit the dude. My Mom encouraged this behavior too. My Mom said to ALWAYS hold the door, PAY for the date, NEVER hit a woman under any circumstances (which I still don't do, but disagree with the premise).
These lessons that I learned along the way didn't help me. They taught me to be weaker. I consistently bowed down to the women in my life and with modern-day entitlement it was a recipe for disaster. I turned to drugs and alcohol around 15, which was roughly the time this photo was taken. I had already had multiple sexual experiences by this point, the first being with my sister's older friend who climbed on top of me even though I had told her I didn't want to when I was 13. Women were consistently crossing my boundaries and even playing games with my emotions at times. I accepted all of it though.
Eventually I met my "true love" my junior year. I was a walking boner my junior year and accepted whatever woman threw herself at me. She was the first one to stick. She told me stories initially of how her first sexual encounter she was rape (which she later admitted to me was a lie). I didn't share my story with her, because mine felt so trivial in comparison to how violent she said he had been. This girl never held a job, never had to work a day in her life, even chores. I had a job from the time I was 12 with my Uncle and as soon as I could work legally I got multiple jobs and held them throughout my high school career. I should have seen that disaster coming from a mile away, but at 17 years old you are bound to fuck things up and boy did I do that.
I was walking through the halls of my high school one day after getting stoned at lunch. My buddy Jarvis turned to me and said, "Look over there, they're doing testing for the military. Let's go take the ASVAB." So, instead of going to class, I skipped it like I always did and took a test, that test changed my life.
A few months later we got the test back and Jarvis scored higher than me. He received a 92 and I had gotten an 83. I was so competitive that it made me feel even worse. I felt like I would always be less than others. That poisonous mindset carried into my relationship as well. I joined the Air Force as an Air Traffic Controller (highest suicide/divorce rate) and within two years we were separating on account of her cheating. She had been cheating on me for about a year and was coming home late at night and sleeping with me after she slept with the other dudes, yes dudes (she had two separate affairs).
As you can imagine I felt ultra cucked and wanted to kill myself. Instead, I got into another relationship, and another, and another. Each kept failing and I got more and more miserable. I was still skinny and decided to start working out. These pictures were supposed to showing progression, but I neglected my fitness still for years, despite being in the military. I would do the bare minimum that was required at our PT.
At the end of 2012 I met someone who I knew I loved. She was sweet and kind and didn't have any expectations of me. She supported my hobbies, which included music and writing. I thought I sucked, but she liked it. Of course, with my life being my life I got orders to Korea within a few months of meeting her. I felt like a black cloud was over my head. Her family had their doubts and I had mine and due to insecurities I cheated on someone that I loved after only being in Korea for four months. I told her immediately, because the guilt ate me up, but she let it ride for another six months before we finally split. My entire first year in Korea felt like a waste and I was the reason. I was ready for a nuke to be dropped by this point.
To fill my sadness I turned to sleeping with women, a lot of women. When I had gotten to Korea I had probably slept with 15 people in my life. By the time I met my next ex-wife I had slept with upwards of 40 people. Plating or whatever bullshit this sub wants to call it won't fulfill you, just going to go ahead and say that now.
We got married! She was this gorgeous woman that barely spoke my language. I was ok with it, because she was pregnant. She wanted an abortion and I didn't so I got my what I asked for. She was a Bridezilla too. The wedding cost us 20,000 dollars and she was a complete nightmare to me the day before and of. I was still being the good husband that would just accept it.
Right around the time I became a Dad I made Staff Sergeant in the Air Force. I remember a conversation some of the younger guys had with me when I was driving them to their dormitory in Korea. They told me essentially that they were glad that I hadn't changed and that they respected me as a leader. Most guys in the military let power get to their heads, but I had literally never even had power over anything so my first instinct wasn't to abuse it. I just cared about the people, and maybe that is why I am writing this post too.
Then my first son, Cason, was born. My wife at the time told me that she didn't love me and she was drinking often while also angry at me for not being more involved. I would come home stressed the fuck out from working foreign pilots as an Air Traffic Controller. By the time I got home she would always be ready to hand the baby to me. I felt used and abused. She didn't have a job, she rarely cleaned and her version of cooking was to let rice sit in the rice cooker and crack an egg in a pan and serve it to me. It was tough, but I gritted my teeth and kept on as I had most of my life.
We found out we were expecting another boy, Jacob. She didn't want to keep him initially either and that was a whole other debate to get her to keep our child, she relented and then sat in resentment for the next few years.
It was finally time for us to leave Korea. I got orders out of there after three and a half years and we were going back to Sheppard AFB in Texas. I was excited to finally get back to American soil, my kid's Mom was not. As soon as she got here the entitlement started. She would complain about the fact that we have to drive everywhere and that there were no cities. She would nag about my family not being more involved and coming to visit. Those are obviously all important, but I was being held hostage because of this negativity.
Within a month of getting to Texas my Dad passed away from liver failure. He had been drinking heavily for years and his body finally gave out. I had only gotten to see him one time in four years and he was dying by the next time I saw him. I sat in the hospital with him for five days. My entire family came the first day, then no one came again until he was dead. My ex would text me and tell me how bad of a father I was to my kids because I wouldn't come home at the time. I wanted to be with my Dad. When it was finally his time to go I sat and watched all of it, completely alone. It was something that changed my life and I will never forget. My Dad was taking guppy breaths and had stubs for legs, because of an amputation that was necessary due to sepsis and gangrene and he was alone. The only person in the world who was their for him was me, that's around the time when it all clicked.
I sat in his apartment for 30 days and did every drug in his house. I showered two times during that period and barely remember anything. My ex showed up, obviously upset and reasonably so. I was in a really bad place though, she hadn't been there for me when I needed her, but when she needed me she was screaming and showing no respect to me as a human. I needed someone to reach out to in my life, but no one was there for me. My brother, my sister, my Mom, wife, everyone was wrapped up in their own problems.
At the end of that 30 days I returned to normal life. The military had given me time off to grieve and I had barely done any. I covered my emotions up with more abuse to myself. I started seeing parallels in my life and my father's. We got pregnant with a third child. I bet you can guess what she said. She drank heavily and smoked cigarettes telling me almost every night that she would kill it that way if the insurance wasn't going to help pay for it. She did that for about three months and then decided she wanted to keep the baby and went to the OBGYN.
On that day her entitlement shown through the most. She had succeeded and our baby was dead right in front of both of us on the screen. She began sobbing and screaming at me in front of the nurse and then we got out of there. Within a month her Mom and brother showed up in Korea to support her and simultaneously ruin our marriage. While they were there her brother told me that I needed to do more, even though I was working ten hour days and coming home to take care of children. We almost got into a fight over it. She left the country shortly after, the first time.
I did more drinking and pot smoking when they left and got separated from the military with an honorable discharge. They diagnosed me with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I can't imagine where the anxiety comes from. She came back for a while and I talked myself into believing things would be different. Within a few more months she had hit me quite a bit and I finally caught her on video doing it. I took it a lawyer and went to take her to court, by the time I got back home she was already on a plane to Korea. That was in November 2018 and the last time I have seen my kids. It felt like I had lost everything back then.
I tell you all of this, because I want you to know who I am. I should be the woman hater. I should have every reason to want to disregard them as people and "plate" them as people here like to say, but instead of continuing to get angry, I looked inward. I moved to Denton, TX, a creative city and started over. As I have said, I had always loved music. I told people when I first got separated that I wanted to do all of these really big things. I wanted to write an album and a book and a series. My step-father told me I had delusions of grandeur and needed mental help. I took it as a challenge, again I am competitive and I had gotten it back with nothing to lose. I wasn't scared of pissing people off anymore, what were they going to do, take my kids away? The worst thing had already happened to me. I started working out and working on me.
By the end of 2019 I had written a few songs and played for a group of people for the first time in my life. I had been dabbling with the guitar for 16 years and finally just decided to DO IT!
Now, as of last week we have a full 13 song album.
I also set up a News/Documentary production company as well as a separate TV series/movie production company. We have a cast of 20 people on a series and a full ten episodes written. We start our filming on Aug 16. When I first got to this town people legit scoffed at me and made fun of me behind my back about all of my "ideas". I seemed crazy to everyone, but I just stuck to my own gameplan. I am about halfway finished with a book as well, but I have been stuck for a little while. This is my 30th year of life and it is my best, so far. I am in peak physical condition and have a goal.
The real Red Pill is not focusing on other people. Others will eventually always let you down, but you can rely on yourself, whether that be for securing a "plate" or for actually improving humanity and imprinting your goodness on others. I grew up poor enough to not have had a chance. My older half-brother didn't really get one. He was in prison two times by the age of 22 and dead by the end of that year. I saw those things in my life, most people don't get that perspective, so I am trying to give it to you now. Go check my history on reddit if you want, this isn't a throwaway, I have nothing to be scared of.
Women are equally important in society and if you have a belief counter to that, then that is likely why you are single. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean everything about us is equal. Men are superior athletes, while women can carry children, those types of differences do exist, no matter what an SJW might say.
Don't give up, don't lose your stamina. You'll find your luck is only the residue of the work you put into something. Don't stop talking if someone tells you to stop, but also try and be respectful. No one will ever respect an angry child. If someone disrespects you then make sure they don't make the same mistake twice. You have immovable boundaries, things that aren't compromising. You can have soft lines in the sand on some things, but be ready to die on your shield for an important cause. Don't give up your hopes and dreams, guys.
I am back with the woman I met before getting to Korea. She and I were friends for an entire year and she was going through a separation. I was actually in a relationship also and we were friends initially, but in the last six months we have gotten serious..
Edit: Couple of grammar issues.