LTR Game Part 3: Unicorn Hunter Checklist

80 points38 commentssubmitted by OccamsUsernameEndorsed Contributor to r/TheRedPill

Links to my other LTR Game articles:

LTR Game: Maintaining Frame

LTR Game Part 2: Building the Foundation

Make no mistake. There is no myth here. The designation of Unicorn given for what amounts to "an ideal woman for relationships" may be quite rare, but they exist. More importantly I find the expectation around TRP that perfectly formed and preferable women just aren't in supply is relatively accurate and should be assumed ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Unicorns are not born and remain perfect, they are fostered and developed. First, and ideally, by their environment during early childhood to early adulthood, and a rare woman is likely snapped up and kept by a high value man early on, realistically reducing the existing and available Unicorn section of the sexual marketplace to what you should consider N/A. This, however, does not mean you cannot foster a more preferable partner from a woman who is less than ideal. She takes her cues from you. Consider what you show potential candidates and how you lead them before you conclude Unicorns aren't attainable. This post will focus on raw qualities that can make an enduring relationship.

This will be a subjective account of my thoughts on the subject on the elusive Unicorn. What to look for as natural character traits you can foster, and use as signs that someone may be worthy of your time investment. If you are cynical on LTR's or don't desire one yourself, feel free to move along. Otherwise, feedback and discussion are greatly encouraged.

I'd like to start with a quote from /u/PhantomDream09 who frequents RPW.

I fully believe that any woman can become receptive to a Captain/First Mate dynamic with the right man. It is all about building a foundation and setting expectations. Occam never asked "this is what I think, is it all right?" I either had to fall in line or get out, but the way he did it never made me feel pushed or bullied. It was more like gently coaxing an injured bird closer to you with food so you can mend its wing.

This hints to something very significant. Women these days are not as adjusted to interpersonal leadership as they once were, which I find to be a very natural dynamic. In fact, as we know, Western culture has a disdain for most behavioral masculinity. Your average Joe is expected to yield for "social awareness" that don't benefit him in any direct way, and your Joe's are typically miseducated about how to handle attraction, women, love, and the like. This is widely spoken of on this sub, but it gives us a solid base to say that BOTH sexes are given a lot of misinformation about what would be effective, rewarding, and sustainable. The information has been lost or forgotten to the public consciousness, and other than attaining information from a mentor or places like TRP, we try and repeatedly fail to understand why our education hasn't matched up with reality. Women are as miseducated as men about what is effective and what they should want. The delusion is pervasive, and any woman won't fully know she wishes for a strong leader until she feels this leadership first hand, and that's your job. You are a Captain. It's your job to inspire loyalty, trust, and devotion. The "natural Unicorn" has these things, but they can otherwise be developed in a good, reasonable woman. I'm not suggesting you snatch up an attractive feminist shrew (a sort of Unicorn in its own right) and expect good results, but I'd be stunned to see the transition and result. This would be TRP on Nightmare mode and would be worthy of... So. Many. Field reports.

Working on the understanding that both sexes are generally taught poorly on what to expect and how to act, it's your job to first filter out a good woman, and encourage her to be great, to inspire her to rise to a level where you would never willingly hand her over, or prefer spinning plates to running a ship with her.

Some criteria to look for in a good woman would be:

Low partner count

This is talked about a lot, and for good reason. This number is never an absolute certainty, but you need to trust what seems like a trustworthy woman. Her other interactions with you will verify how honest she is in other arenas. If she's willing to lie over something meaningless, then you should not think she isn't willing to lie on the partner count. This ideal can differ depending on age, but let's use a guideline of "Single Digits" as a standard for a woman who is mid-twenties. We have to understand that the climate we live in will influence women into having sex, perhaps too early or with what you may consider too many partners. If you find a woman as described above who has had sex with, say, less than 5 partners- I would call that ideal.

Predominantly LTR's

Most of (ideally, all) the sex your intended has had should have been within the context of an actual relationship, with some form of commitment.

Sex

Look, I know this will be a hard one. Women who respect themselves and their futures just won't want to put out too soon. This does not mean they're controlling you or that they'll never give up the ghost. It's your job to push the boundaries as well, and most women expect the man to make the moves. I have been capable of acquiring sex and decided not to. Being too aggressive, too early, can spook the unicorn. You're in this for a relationship, not for instant gratification. Control yourself, evaluate the situation evenly, and INTUIT her pace, do not let her absolutely dictate or schedule. Make your move when you feel it's right, but don't go for the whole act all on the first opportunity. This will show that you respect her boundaries while she's also honoring your intentions. If she is resistant too long, she may be not that into you, or worse, she has hangups about sex in general. Regardless, the latter can be true and you can still do your job of attraction so well that you assist her in ridding herself of her boundaries, but only with you.

Diet and Fitness

Ideally, she should show that she respects herself, her health, and her attractiveness.

Strong, positive relationship with her father

When she talks about her father, watch her body language. Look for positive cues. Ask about things she and her father did when she was growing up. Find out if her father was more of a leader rather than an egalitarian or supplicant member in the marriage. Ask how her mother fit into the picture. Find out if she was more concerned on what her father thought over her mother. Divorce is a tricky one here, as that can cause all kinds of complications in younger children, but she could still have a more than healthy respect for her father.

Empathy

This can best be seen if she talks about any negative situation organically. Secondarily, if she seems to have empathy (or even sympathy) for men as a whole, this is a strong indicator that she won't resent you for, you know, just being a man.

Tendency toward traditional gender roles

This also should be fairly self evident. This lends itself to the precise structure you desire as Captain.

Crafty

Not in the shifty eyes sort of way. Maybe she quilts, likes to draw, enjoys making things. Sewing, quilting, fabric toys, whatever. Things that you would identify as a creative hobby she engages in for fun and personal (rather than professional) reward. Big bonus if it's something you consider feminine in nature.

Respectful

Observe how she talks to you about strangers when you're together, or how she talks directly to people in service positions like waitstaff. If she has disdain or entitlement when dealing with strangers or employees of any establishment, she's giving you a clear warning.

Interested

A lot of men talk too much, or not enough. You need to seed conversation, and branch logically to get a dialog going. When you're talking, observe how she holds eye contact with you. The first few dates (if it's going well) her eyes will be wrapped in attraction for you. You need to observe as things move forward the way in which she pays attention to you when you speak. Interruptions can be a sign she's excited and wants to chirp something back at you eagerly, but derailing you or changing the subject or other evasions shows that she may not respect you enough, even if what you're saying is outside her knowledge and experience. Address as necessary, but be calm and kind. This all boils down to basic politeness for both herself and you.

Positive game

Unicorn candidates aren't likely to be receptive to disruptive game, like negging. It may have the desired effect to create attraction, but there is a big difference between insults and teasing. If you need to get into disruptive game, make it light and brief. You're setting a foundation for her. She should be more receptive to positive game, like amused mastery. She should be receptive to confidence, but no so much to cockiness. Since you are setting the stage for all future expectations, do you really want to have a woman attracted to you because you can be an asshole? Is that the type of woman you want for yourself?

Eager to please

If you're doing your attraction job right, she should be very eager to spend time with you. Try not to play the slow game with attention, you need to balance your behaviors and calibrate what type of leader you think a stable and happy woman wants most. Perhaps she offers to pay for a meal and/or split the bill. Consider if you'll allow this or not up front, I did not allow it but clearly demonstrated my appreciation. After a few dates, if she brings you a token of some kind, this is a big indicator.

Conservative values

These can be a plus. I am neither conservative nor liberal. I find women that had a semi-conservative household growing up helps to instill more constructive ideals for young women.

Religion

Moderate religious upbringings can be in line with being raised in a moderately conservative household. This helps to instill values. Though I was raised Catholic and now no longer have any faith, I can say that many values have stuck with me, and the initial structure actually encouraged me to expand my personal values beyond this. The same can apply for women.

Introversion

Being more introverted than extroverted means that a person is less likely to gain a lot of validation from others, and is less likely to be an attention seeker. Your mileage may vary, but in my experience, extroversion can lead to a lot of problems that get the hamster to spin up.

Responsibility

This is difficult to investigate, but find out about her background. If she did well in school with her grades, this shows responsibility. As does adherence to work expectations, fulfilling personal responsibilities to family and friends, and honoring your requests or expectations that she's agreed to.

Slight to moderate OCD tendencies

When a attraction is established, and commitment follows, you begin to establish routine with her. The more a woman has tendencies toward what I'd consider functional and healthy levels of OCD, the more she will adopt structures you set. If you're consistent, she will WANT to fulfill what you set forth.

Edit to address nonsense: I'm in no way addressing clinical OCD here, I believe this was evident from my description. I'm simply addressing a predilection toward and pleasure in structures and patterns, not absurd behavior like toggling the lights eight times when entering a room or washing ones hands until they bleed. If you really had to have this explained, you are an idiot.

Typical feminine anxiety

Somewhere around average for women, maybe a little more, maybe a little less. This trait can be in your favor. If she is given to worry, and cares about you, she is given to thinking about you more often than a woman who is not anxious at all.

Edit to address nonsense: Obviously I said typical feminine anxiety, not clinical anxiety.

Demure fashion sense

If she respects herself and is not advertising sex every which way, she's going to dress conservatively. Think classy, but well fitting, and feminine.

Note: These are all behaviors that you evaluate her to have without significant structure or an enduring relationship with you, these are raw materials to make building a partnership easier, more ideal, or more stable.

I encourage people to post additional insights on what they consider to be traits a man should look for in a good woman. These should be traits that foster a relationship, how she views her Captain, or how she may grow in a trajectory you would not find sustainable and preferable.

TL;DR

I can't help you this time. The wall of text has spoken.

Edit: Used more raw material from the format mines.

Edit 2: Added tags to OCD/Anxierty