LTR Game Part 4: Positive Masculinity

68 points21 commentssubmitted by OccamsUsernameEndorsed Contributor to r/TheRedPill

Links to my other LTR Game articles:

LTR Game: Maintaining Frame

LTR Game Part 2: Building the Foundation

LTR Game Part 3: Unicorn Hunter Checklist

This will be a subjective account of my thoughts on the topic of Positive Masculinity. If you are cynical on LTR's or don't desire one yourself, feel free to move along. Machiavellianists should also skip this thread; I am disclosing details on the benevolent Patriarch for greater relationship harmony and overall life quality. This post is about setting conditions and exhibiting traits that encourage people to behave themselves, and honor you in turn, not pervasive and unscrupulous exertion of control. Otherwise, feedback and discussion are greatly encouraged.

As the Captain, you must establish that you act as the map, compass, and sextant for your ship. Your intuition is sharper than any equipment. You have clarity of vision, and calm that dominates all storms. You are firm, fair, and patient, but you never compromise your mission or your dignity to achieve goals. You are worthy of the trust you expect to be given, and you earn respect without seeking it.

Outer value is discussed a lot on TRP, and I agree it’s quite important to be fit and professionally successful in order to leverage a better quality of woman, but you must have inner strength to match this to lend stability and happiness to a dedicated long term relationship.

Positive Masculinity could also be thought of as being simply “a good man”. Being “good” could be seen as either a strong, composed man who does right by those he cares for and interacts with, or verge on areas that lack self respect, like displaying supplicating beta behavioral traits. Usually I find that a man of strong character that is also regarded as good is called “a good man”, and a man of weak character that is also good is called “a good guy”. “Good guy” is also used impersonally a lot, as though calling someone a “good man” is a higher, more personal compliment. This appears to be subconsciously applied, and it seems as though using the term "guy" within this context implies something softer than being a man. Many men have either the instincts or the conditioning to be “a (supplicating) good guy”. This (in part or in whole) is what gets them rejected, emotionally abused, disrespected, or betrayed by women. You must transition from guy to man. Your mission is priority one, your self-respect and dignity are priority two, your first mate is priority three. Never forget this.

We commonly regard traits that increase women's attraction to be "alpha". I recognize how dark triad traits can imply status and stoke fires in the feminine nature, but your primary concern as Captain is not pure attraction. You must inspire loyalty and confidence so that you can lead effectively and decisively. This post will focus on a hierarchy of sorts. I’ll be detailing internal traits that feed into practices and practices as they relate to game concepts. This is by no means complete, and I advocate adapting any information here to who you are, or who you wish to be. This is a core list of neutral or beneficent attributes I have employed to encourage the growth and success of my monogamous relationships, my social connections, and my professional life.

Masculinity in general is discouraged in our society. One thing I don't see often talked about is positive masculinity, which I find to be my general state of being. There is strategic advantage in never having to go into a negative realm to deal with problems. Often all I need to do to address behaviors or express discontent is a brief silence or a stern gaze. These are my primary "weapons" when dealing with people who know me, because they have already learned to respect me. If I was in a less civil situation, I would have to embrace some negative actions and traits, but this is only in the case of dire emergency. If my first mate were to be threatened by unavoidable violence, I would become a different person temporarily as fight instincts kicked in. Composure is for your day-to-day success, and is used to avoid danger whenever possible, but it won’t solve the issue of physical aggressors.

Women that have well adjusted relationships with their father figure will relate the fondness of this experience to positive masculinity. Women that have poor relationships with their father figures will relate this experience to more disruptive game. Maladjusted women make relationships volatile because where they should have a strong, positive influence in their life filled by a paternal figure, they have nothing constructive. The have only tragedy, abandonment, and/or scars (perhaps maternally fabricated) in regards to father figures, and they carry that darkness inside of them, always.

Positive masculinity is applicable in nearly every aspect of your life, with almost no need for changing your aura of authority or your expressions. It can cover friendships, family relations, intimate connections, and your professional life. You need not even change your attitude for superiors in the workplace, because you are in no way displaying your status and values in a disruptive manner. When these traits are embraced and displayed consistently, you needn't change your social tact contextually.

By displaying positive masculinity, you're displaying character, attractiveness, and leadership without having to engage in a bevy of contradictory methods that include a mixture of positive and negative practices.

Positive Masculinity LTR Constants

Game concept Practice Primary traits

Descriptive Body

Extremes to avoid:

Above is the format each of the descriptions that follow. Here is a chart to help visualize the connections I intend

A lot of these items supplement one another, are interrelated, or the traits that support the practice and game concept are more diverse than listed. I wanted to make a simple, easy to understand model and in some places I’ve kept it intentionally simple. The overall message is what should shine through, and be understood by men interested in Positive Masculinity.

Outcome Independence Stoicism Calm Strength

Never tolerate disrespect; you are always willing to move on.

You don't need her. Your first mate is value added to your life, you find her to be an ideal choice and someone you embrace because you work well together, but you don't need her and she should be aware of this on some level. You do not put her above yourself or your mission in life. You can show all manner of love and kindness, but this does not mean you should make her into a fulcrum of your happiness. If things turn south or she becomes unacceptably different, perhaps she adopts persistent disrespect or commits betrayal, your first step is to explain your thoughts. If there is no change in behavior or practices you find unacceptable you drop her with swift, resolute self-respect. When she knows and remembers this, she knows that she has to tow the line or you'll simply move on to something that is better for you. You are the concern with this practice, not her. This balances out all manner of other supportive items in this outline, because your self-respect is never to be compromised.

Stoicism is a good way to think of Outcome Independence, regardless of the reasons that lead you to the act. You are not moved by negative outcomes, you are unconcerned about your decisions possibly being right or wrong because you always make choices to the best of your knowledge and to greatest mutual (sometimes self) benefit. Recognizing failure means you have the potential to learn from a mistake, and you will adapt.

Extreme negatives: Petulant ultimatums, indifference to your first mates condition, negative emotional flairs.

Amused Mastery Nonchalance Knowing Calm

You've seen it all before; you disarm, defuse, or display experience with a knowing smile.

Your first mate qualifies herself to you, not the other way around. Your inner stance is that you are wiser to the ways of the world, and it can be charming to see her retread steps you've already taken in former opinion, in life choices, or even in thought. You have foresight and it’s always enjoyable to walk alongside her as she begins to understand or figure out what you already know, what you already see, and what you've already decided to do. The phrase “I know.” With a wry grin works wonders here.

Nonchalance and Amused Mastery go hand in hand, they're fairly well synonymous. You have a positive indifference. Flashing a knowing smile, laugh softly, maybe a light sigh. Your smile, brief laughter, and maybe even a light dismissal can show status and an "I've seen all this before" attitude.

Extreme negatives: Impatience, mercurial sensitivities, emotional over-investment with external criticism, patronizing impertinence, reductive and insulting criticisms.

Frame Decisiveness Consistent Knowledge

Never tolerate detected bullshit; none can compromise your sense of self.

This is your world. This is your life. You pursue your mission. You have built the foundation on which both you and your first mate operate, and your stance must be firm. There is no time for weakness, weakness in your expressions or your decisions is not an opportunity, do not delude yourself. You will make mistakes, but your true opportunity is in leadership, not in failure. You will keep things directed and along the lines you determine prudent. Your first mate wants a Captain. I would speculate that all women want a leader in their lives unless they have some serious problems or severe, destructive conditioning. It is a natural state. Frame is the most important element of being a Captain. They story premise, the cadence, the prose, and the metaphors (also the euphemisms, nudge-nudge) are all yours. She is a participant on your stage. Always remember that you can course correct, but if anything takes a significant or sharp turn, you may be dooming yourself to failure. You must have solid ideas for who you are and what you want before you enter into a leadership role. How your First Mate gets to know you and who she begins to love, this is who she’ll always want in essence, and ideally you’ll just improve upon your strengths and diminish your weaknesses from there forth.

MAINTAIN. FRAME.

Extreme negatives: Compromising your ethics, accommodating another’s mission at the expense of your own, inconsistent character.

Internalization Mental muscle memory Brave Consistency

Practice self-discipline at all times; you are in a constant state of self-refinement.

The means to success with all other traits outlined here requires practice and self-discipline. Mastery over oneself, the ability for you to maintain control of yourself, and your expressions is powerful. Always doing and saying precisely what you mean can be a difficult thing. You should live without apology, but only when you know that your actions are calibrated and just. You must do right by those you care for and love. Change is hard on the individual, and the practice of changing oneself is even harder. It’s been said better before, and I hold this as a personal mantra, so I’ll conclude with a quote.

“We are, each of us, largely responsible for what gets put into our brains, for what, as adults, we wind up caring for and knowing about. No longer at the mercy of the reptile brain, we can change ourselves. Think of the possibilities.” –Carl Sagan

I reiterate a crucial summary: Be brave. Be consistent.

Extreme negatives: Laziness, complacency, any thought that leads you to thinking you are done evolving in your role as a man and Captain.

Confidence Rectitude Integral Bravery

Your benevolent intentions and actions reinforce your certitude; you are right and just.

Because you know that you're constantly doing your best, you should always be confident in your decisions. Gather all the information you can when there's an important decision to be made, and trust your instincts otherwise if you need to rely on reflex in any circumstance. You won't always be right, but you should always be confident. Failures will happen, but unless you've failed in any of the key tenants outlined here, you should feel assured that you're deciding on and building a future with your first mate to the best of your capacity at any given moment.

Confidence is a major cornerstone of all game, as it’s a cornerstone marker of attraction for women and makes you internally self-sufficient. You know your worth and it reinforces you from moment to moment.

Extreme negatives: Insecurity, overt and disruptive cockiness, narcissistic superiority, externalizing worth.

Captain/First Officer Leadership Strong Integrity

Your strength and ability inspires others to follow you; you are a leader.

You want a woman to be submissive, and to support your vision for yourself. For a woman that is not naturally submissive in expression or when relating to men prior to you, this is most easily achieved by displaying leadership attributes. Always remember that wants are different than needs, and not all wants should be met. Her valid emotional needs, however, must always be. Maintain clarity of vision and execute plans after hearing what your First Officer has to say about it. If you have internalized righteous traits, there should not be risks of power abuse on your part. You love, support, and guide your first mate to the best of your ability. You would sabotage your own happiness with her if you were to abuse your power, discard her needs, or to make the relationship entirely self-centric. There is a big difference between not tolerating bullshit, and engaging in selfish bullshit.

Fair leadership requires strength and integrity, if you are to establish harmony and a well working team. Leadership is an opportunity as well as a burden. You are enabled to pursue goals and objectives, but you shoulder all responsibility for failure, and share all victories. You are responsible for everything, never forget that.

Extreme negatives: Tyranny, callous disdain to input, unadulterated selfishness.

None of this means you have to be something like a priest or a White Knight™. I have a wicked and deplorable sense of humor in person (as a for instance), and it’s entertaining to be disruptive with that at times. I promote calibrated approaches to all of these things, there are no hard and fast rules about the degree of each of these items. You learn, do, adapt, and become. However, these items of Positive Masculinity should be undercurrents to all the relationships you have as it will be the base of all other understandings of you as a person, and certify that others think of you as, truly, “a good man”.