Links to my other LTR Game articles:
LTR Game: Maintaining Frame
LTR Game Part 2: Building the Foundation
LTR Game Part 3: Unicorn Hunter Checklist
LTR Game Part 4: Positive Masculinity
LTR Game Part 5: Love and Power
I don't want disharmony in my intimate relationships. Neither party benefits from conditions that create negativity, nobody benefits from frictional struggle against one another in any kind of relationship, and intimate relationships don't benefit from a woman’s reluctance to follow. Egalitarianism does not create harmony, it creates discord unless both parties always perfectly agree on every decision, and this is impossible.
Most relationships, due to modern societal urging, begins with a foundation of egalitarianism. This is not an ideal arrangement for many reasons. If a man relents power to “equality” at the very foundation, this creates a "level playing field". Women instinctually love a level playing field because when a power gap is closed between them and men, they have a much easier time of wresting control from whatever system they're a part of. They won't fight for superiority at the outset of any struggle. Superiority for them is a subtle, long term plan using indirect aggression and subversive means. They will, however, fight for "equality" even if they don't realize it's not what they want. You need to show your woman that she does not want what she thinks she wants. The pretty, idealistic lie of egalitarianism does not work within intimate relationships.
My basis with most friends and peers is one of egalitarianism, and this is for many beneficial reasons. If we disagree, or if we have different plans, it is effortless and never considered disrespectful (by anyone, ever, on any level) to go and do as we see fit separately. There is little to no fallout or struggle in seeking what we want. When we align, great. When we don't, that's fine too. The arrangement is one of pure mutual interest or fun, and our life decisions are never expected to be altered to suit the needs of friends. We are never urged to act against our self interest, and the best friendships operate on giving mutually where and when each individual feels it’s appropriate. Long term, monogamous relationships with or without cohabitation do not work this way.
Within intimate Egalitarianism, there are always situational winners, and the more your woman wins out over you, the less she is likely to respect you over the long term. In most relationships there are often struggles on what to do, and how to do it. The idea or reality of “compromise” is only acceptable and beneficial to you both if you've arrived at that juncture with the final say, and it was 100% your decision. Doing otherwise submits to her whims, and admits to her power over your decision making on some level. “No” should not be part of her vocabulary with you. You listen to her concerns, and decide for greatest mutual benefit or need, never her strict wants. Egalitarianism fails many when employed within an LTR on this very persistent level alone. It creates disharmonious situations systematically.
Remember that delegation of tasks or responsibilities still places you in a position of dominance, even if you are admitting to a measure of her superiority in a skillset. If you determine that your woman’s skillset is indeed superior in an area, and you’ve found her advisement to be superior to your own understandings when you’ve made decisions in the past, elect to delegate responsibilities to her that are best matched to her abilities that you recognize as outstripping your own. Otherwise, delegating responsibilities using “traditional gender role” as a guideline can be a good, reflexive tool to make sure that you continue to show authority, and you’re both acting appropriately. I do the heavy lifting, I set up and fix anything electronic, I make structural changes to the apartment, and I put together furniture. I plan and execute enhancements that I deem as being beneficial to one or both of us. When a man does “manly” things of his own accord, and with an interest in maintaining either your own nest the nest you’re both a part of, it shows investment while clearly staying in a masculine role.
Staying in your masculine role gives her the tingles. Something as simple as putting together a piece of furniture or reconfiguring a room has quite excited my woman in the past. She feels in these moments that you are capable, and it shows initiative on your part. You have a result to show for your efforts. The same applies to working out or consistently treating her as a sexual object with things like innuendo and ass slapping. She becomes the object of your sexual interest, and women love to be treated benevolently as a sexual object by men their attracted to.
My woman is my subordinate, but more importantly, my woman is my object. Detractors may think that a truly strong Captain/First Officer arrangement is dangerous or harmful, rather than natural and mutually rewarding. They’re wrong on all levels. I maintain control of my woman and our lives to be sure that we’re both on a track that rewards us, and harms neither. If I were to go too far in any behavior that others could legitimately term as dangerous/harmful, I could undermine all the investments I have made in her. If I were to consistently do anything less than what she needs, and to benevolently decide to give her what she wants (not what she merely thinks she wants) when appropriate, I endanger the relationship. I have to know her better than she knows herself. I have to interpret and act dynamically. Reading non-verbal communication is key to doing so, and learning any individual woman’s habits and predilections is a journey unto itself.
I have a defined sense of ownership, as do many men. We all have our pet interests, hobbies, and property. The things good men care about, we treat well and with respect. Why wouldn’t we? It’s our property. We expend time, energy, and resources to responsibly foster both the investment in the property and bolster our personal enjoyment. Egalitarian women expect all the benefits of a man with a SENSE of ownership toward them without any of the structure and responsibility to the man who considers himself her owner. Like feminism, they expect all the benefits of being a woman (leaning on our strengths, access to our resources) and of being a man (being given power, being paid deference to) within this context.
Women are not objects, but my woman is my object. My woman is my property. She is the object of my affection, my time, my sexuality, my trust, and my resources. She earns this with her role, her behavior, her deference, and her respect. She is my treasured investment, and though I have all the power, I have every reason to never abuse my power.
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