There is an idea of Rollo Tomassi's that is quite cruel to men: "Desire cannot be negotiated." According to Tomassi, if sexual attraction wanes or "dies," there's no way to bring it back, so it's best to end the relationship. He also paints "negotiation" as mechanical and even ridiculous. According to him bargaining means that the woman who no longer has as much desire, asks the man to do household things and then proceeds to have forced sex with him.

Well, all of this is obviously garbage. I believe that there are at least a portion of men in the world who desire women who have as much desire as they do, and that in the long term relationship the desire remains at the same levels always. Tomassi's rule is nothing more than a reflection of that desire; not a reality.

The reality is very different. The genitalia of the two sexes are different. Sometimes the vagina lubricates even in a rape situation; this does not mean that the woman mentally desires this, but rather that it is a way of protecting the genitals from further damage such as tearing.

This means that there is often a dissonance between "physical desire" and "mental desire" in women. According to Nina Brochman in her book The wonder down under, at least 25% of women cannot "connect" both desires. They can be lubricated and at the same time, be thinking about the grocery list. Or they may want to have sex and their genitals don't respond. 50% of women often go from connection to disconnection between the two desires; sometimes they feel they have the desire but are not fully "in the game", it remains a half-way journey. And only another 25% have a similar desire to men, which is also not perfect.

Men don't have as much of a disconnect between "mental desire" and "physical desire". At least 70-80% of the time both desires coincide.

This is related to what happens in long-term relationships normally. Men's sexual desire remains almost the same, but women's sexual desire changes. Routine, children, time, physical appearance, small frustrations, arguments, etc, can change the woman's desire and diminish it. Women also tend to desire more demonstrations of affection from their partner the longer the relationship lasts.

These differences can be disconcerting to men, and can create serial rejections by the woman of the man's attempts to initiate sex. That's not to say that everything is dead or should be left alone, but that it may be time to talk about sex clearly or see a sexologist. (Or read about 'sensate focus')

I say Tomassi's idea is cruel, because he basically suggests that the woman loses desire because the man is not alpha enough, which has nothing to do with it. Sometimes men get erections without even thinking about sex, and that is not the woman's fault. And also as a solution he proposes the DreadGame, which can make things even worse and not only kill the woman's genuine desire, but also the emotional connection within the couple. I also find it curious, because Tomassi and the RedPill is biologicist and deterministic, but overlooks the basic biological difference between men and women: the genitals, how they work and how that affects the relationships between men and women. Edit:

Perhaps I have not explained myself well about female desire. What Brochman says in her book, quoting some sexologists, is that women continue to have desire for their partner, but cannot connect mentally or physically with it. They want to have sex, but they can't because maybe they are stressed or their mind for some reason is more focused on the argument that happened three days ago, or maybe they can't lubricate because they are too tired. This has nothing to do with whether the man is an alpha or not, but it is something that usually happens because of the woman's worries and occupations. And as I mentioned, this "disconnection" with desire also happens to men, but to a lesser extent.