I can tell you from experience the frustration that comes from not seeing results right away. Training yourself for delayed gratification in everything you do becomes particularly important as a result.

You’ve got to trust the process in the mean time. And, I’ve come to realize there are several layers to this, and so I shall explain them now. This is for all of you struggling... seeing a roadmap will help you pin point where you are now and break through.

THE FIRST STEP:

You want something, and begin to think about how you can get it. For example, more women, more money, more friends, a better body.

THE SECOND STEP:

You begin to search for information or try things you think of to get you towards your new goal.

THE THIRD STEP:

You begin to implement these things, and maybe have some short term success. However, things either start to slow down, or in some cases they never started to begin with. Sometimes, the effects of your actions can actually push you backwards.

THE FORTH STEP:

You begin bargaining. You may tell yourself you don’t need to reach the goal, that it’s too hard. This is the crucial part because you will see a lot of people give up here. It’s only the strong that will push themselves towards their goal after this step. The ego, the looking glass self, and your ideologies all start to clash. Some people deny their current circumstances and validate themselves through some means. The world can really start to fuck with your process, especially if you start talking about your goal with people.

Side note: never, ever, talk about your goals with people you know. I compare this to busting your nut before sticking it in the hole. If you tell people about your goals, it will actually validate and fulfill you, causing you to put forth less effort towards the goal.

THE FIFTH STEP:

You have either given up at this point, or put your idea on the back burner. You validate yourself by saying, “it will take more time, but I’ll get there.”

THE SIXTH STEP:

You begin trying new things, or add things into your process in order to speed up the results.

THE SEVENTH STEP:

You start to see some actionable results, and boom, the ignition switch is hit. Here is the sweet spot and likely where you will make the greatest amount of progress.

THE EIGHTH STEP:

You are satisfied with your goal. You either want more from your goal, or you want to start something new.

THE LAST STEP:

You may decrease the attention you have given to that goal, so you see a decrease in your results. You can also start moving backwards (e.g. you worked to get yourself lean, and have since moved on to making more money, not keeping up with your physique. Now you’re fat). Here the process starts back over. Additionally, major life changes or changes in your ideology can also cause you to dump the goal altogether.

Obviously, you can skip some of these steps. Especially when you’re aware of what is going on.


EDIT: I forgot to add what I meant by, “trust the process”. What I meant by this is that doing the work and moving through these stages is a normal part of getting after it. At the end of the day, you have got to have trust that the work will bring the results. What you do in step 2 and step 6 will have a great effect on how quickly/efficiently you will make it to your goal. And, for some, they will skip over some of these steps depending on their current circumstances (a wealthy family who can fund your start-up, great genetics... so working out brings gains quickly, etc.). Hopefully that clarifies it and helps bring my point full circle.