Mission: Getting Christians Out to Vote, Starting a Business that Provide Pro-Free Speech Services

Reading: I read No More Mr. Nice Guy a couple times, Strong Lifts,

Stats: 5'9", 200 lbs, 345 bench, 465 Deadlift.

Finances: IT Administrator, 90k/yr @ 45 hours a week.

Spiritual: Weekly on Sunday, and Small group during the week.

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I guess to start off I'll list positives about my wife. She is a biblical Christian and isn't fooled by the SJW and leftist rhetoric that tricks a lot of people into compromising values the Bible is very clear on. She isn't afraid to be vocal during discussions of controversial topics in Church groups or public. We didn't have sex before marriage. She is pro MAGA/America First, though she sometimes watches Ben Shapiro but I guess I can forgive her for that. We've both put on a little weight since COVID, but she's been putting in the effort to stay in shape since I set us up a home gym. Sex is good and frequent.

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The complaints I have are she is extremely lazy and selfish with money. We've been married for three years and the first 2 she worked full time so it was less obvious, but she lost her job because of COVID and did next to nothing around the house. She found a job paying but less hours, so she makes about 80% as much but now has 2 extra free days to do other stuff, but still can't find the time to help clean around the house. She also refuses to stick to a budget, even after she requested we allocate less money to spending and more to pay off dept. Also whenever I get a bonus or earn extra money it's "our money", but when she earns money from a side job it's suddenly "her money".

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In the past she's claimed that she wants to be an amazing mother and that's what she's passionate about, but during the time she was unemployed we fostered a 5 yo and 8 yo for about 6 months and she didn't do much. She'd cook them chicken nuggets and fries almost every night, so I ended up cooking most nights so they'd have something healthier. She would also rarely do anything with them and they'd just be on TV and video games all day. I picked out a bunch of educational and fun games, books, and shows, and the kids like them, but she would rarely play with them, it would always have to be me when I got home from work.

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Mentors at my church that I've talked to have basically just said "you just have to deal with it become women are the weaker vessel" , or "you just need to be patient with her", but all that has resulted in is a bunch of resentment building up. I'm fed up with her sleeping all day, watching TV all afternoon, then going out and spending $15-20 on takeout food, while I worked all day, took care of the dogs, worked on the house or yard, and ate something homecooked to save money.

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What's the proper way to set expectations and make sure they are followed? My thought was to just start inviting tons of people over, and to focus my efforts on the house and outside. I put in a sprinkler system, french drain, and put in 20 yds of dirt to level out the yard last year, and this year I can extend the patio, put in a fire pit, and constantly invite people over and have them shame her into keeping the house clean. Maybe that's a better way to do it than just demanding she keep the house clean?

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What's the best way to handle a lazy wife?