Still Not Over my Ex After 6 Months

BlondeHornyElf · 2021-05-07T19:44:30+00:00

this is normal dude.. i don't care how redpill any guy is.. if a man truly loves a woman, those memories will never leave him until he finds a girl that can top the previous experience (in hotness, personality, lifestyle, benefits, etc.), and sometimes the final girl you get with is not the one that you'll love the most. it's normal and just part of the price you pay when you play the game, doesn't matter if you're bp or rp.

there's nothing wrong with you for this so just keep moving forward and the memories will gradually fade.

Intrepid_Artist · 2021-05-07T19:43:56+00:00

This is life. Enjoy being bored and having time for yourself.

My kids & wife are abroad for holidays. I am killing my time over internet. Absolutely love it.

You might get married one day, or you will work your's ass off building business.

There will be days you will want to have time just to be lazy

Enjoy freedom mate

319Skew · 2021-05-07T19:29:13+00:00

It's been almost half a decade, a dumpster fire of a divorce and numerous issues in my relationship but I still find myself occasionally day dreaming about my ex.

I notice that this happens when you aren't busy or are feeling lonely.

Your mind will troll you and make everything seem nicer then it really was.

The reality is you're free. Date, smash and play the field. Make new friends and do shit and you'll stop fantasizing over her.

athrowaway-9001 · 2021-05-07T19:49:46+00:00

Continue on the path of self improvement.

It sounds like you have a lot of trouble being comfortable with being alone. I recommend finding your mission and working towards it-- until then you will continue to derive meaning and validation from external sources, including women.

Until then, work towards being comfortable with being alone and internalizing what you have to do next.

i-am-the-prize · 2021-05-07T19:10:35+00:00

Like Cortez, you can never go back. You'll never be fully BP again without a lobotomy so give that up.

Glad to hear you're doing good stuff... but there's a catch. Have you read NMMNG? Covert Contracts are a thing. Your is: I'm doing RP stuff, yet I'm still alone.

You do the "RP Stuff"

like lifting/training
like nutrition
like style refresh

becuse it's the right thing to do, if you care about yourself. Remember, you are you own longest LTR. Treat yourself like you'd treat someone else you care about deeply.

But, they are the reward in themselves. Never forget. No one owes you anything just because you're putting in effort. That's the Covert Contract you want to avoid.

Now, next steps... not sure where you're at but try meetup.com lots of clubs, events, outdoor activities, food, philosophy, politics, wine, cooking, biking, hiking, photag groups meetup weekly - many never stopped even during covid, they just kept it on the DL. Most in my area are back in full swing, just require RSvPs to stay under local group size ordinances. Be social to make new connections, practice talking to all women (young/old, fat/skinny, etc) so you don't come off needy/thirsty when you do finally meet one that makes you warm and mushy.

keep it up - but for you - and push your comfort zones to branch out socially.

What you want you can get from any number of women - you just need to meet them. Your ex wasn't the sole key to your warmfuzzycomfort hormones.

Alittihad01 · 2021-05-07T19:07:31+00:00

Go play the numbers game motherfucker

You look good? cool! then you have multiple grounds to play the numbers game

approach bitches everywhere , talk to them everywhere

you can easily get 2-3 plates in 2 weeks or less if you really play the numbers game and put the work and some effort into it.

itiswr1tten · 2021-05-08T03:11:20+00:00

I barely have any friends

Primary issue, and fixable.

I haven’t as much as been on a date or anything. I tried OLD but I barely get matches.

Think of this in a basic metaphor - if you can't even lift the light weight in the gym, how could you get better?

This is a mental wellbeing issue, not a girls issue. They are "a lagging indicator of success".

First fix your friends and develop stable relationships with others who will support AND ALSO challenge you.

akihonj · 2021-05-08T06:52:24+00:00

Your issue is that you didn't deal with the breakup early on. You went to the gym, you worked on your style, you did everything but move through the grief process to get over the relationship.

You pushed that to one side to take up everything else as a way of avoiding dealing with what you were feeling at the time and now it's really starting to hit home.

So sit with it, experience it, listen to your body, listen to everything it's telling you, ask yourself why you feel as you do, why you think as you do.

Nobody said it will take two weeks and you'll be forgetting about her, it takes as long as it takes and you'll probably never forget her but you will with time forget about how it felt, you'll remember you loved her you'll also see a lot clearer how things were between you and you'll remember why you broke up. You won't feel anything for her in time, she will become just a memory.

You have to start really dealing with it, if that means crying then by all means, do yourself a solid and lock the bathroom door and cry in there.

A relationship ending, if you loved that person, is similar to the stages of grief, you should check out what they are. It will make you aware of what you're about to go through.

Knowing those stages means that you can put in place behaviours that allow you to go through them without doing any damage to yourself or anybody else.

It's going to take time, how much is down to you.

mindbreeder · 2021-05-08T12:42:23+00:00

Just know she is not thinking about you. I have seen the "worst" out of women on both sides. I've fucked some girl who ended a 5 year relationship earlier that week and while we were in bed she says "ugh its my ex hes calling me again". So while what you're feeling is totally normal remember you're longing for a person who doesn't give you a second thought. You're better than that.

Anonymous2k18 · 2021-05-08T01:17:20+00:00

Gotta break the soul tie

NewCommonSensei · 2021-05-08T02:52:36+00:00

Hey ya know what, have you completely cut her out of your life? Destroy all memories , photos, unfollow on social. Believe me - if you see her face it triggers the primal part of your brain that will release chemicals of love and it will delay you getting over her.

practice focusing on the present, and yourself. What can you do to make your life better? In a relationship you probably put her needs first at least part of the time. Put your mental point of origin to you and your goals. It’s a beautiful life and only you will be along for the ride for the whole time.

This is a new chapter in your life. You’re single and have no one holding you back from achieving what you want from life.

If you’re feeling sad. Get out of the house and do some exercise or sports. Get your mind off it. Don’t wallow. Its ok to feel the pain. Just dont wallow.

Imagine driving your car off a cliff into the ocean. As the car begins flooding with water, feel the icy cold water rushing over your body. Tell yourself this is it. It’s over. This feeling is done and now you’re incapable of love. For the time being.

Good luck. You’re almost on the other side of pain to the world of freedom. It will get easier and better.

ReeeeDrumpf · 2021-05-07T19:51:21+00:00

Keep going. As long as you don't stop self improving, eventually you will meet another girl who is better than your ex.

FallenVelocity · 2021-05-07T19:35:29+00:00

Supposedly it’s takes half the time of your previous relationship to get over your ex. I say it can be done even sooner.

What you need is a good solid group of friends to shoot the shit with. A wolf pack.

Otherwise you’ve been doing good pushing yourself to be a better version of you OP. Continue to stay on your purpose.

It may seem a bit rough right now but in the long term you’re going to look back and smile at all the hard work you’ve been putting in. Guarantee.

FollowMeKids · 2021-05-08T01:04:54+00:00

You answered your own question. You are LONELY, haven’t been on any dates, don’t have friends and don’t do anything. Therefore you crave company and the only thing close to that are memories of your ex. The solution is to find a girl to fill those voids, get your dick wet and you won’t even remember your ex.

Schhwing · 2021-05-08T02:04:08+00:00

Your mistake was not having a life when you were with her. You depended on her for everything. This is a mistake for many men. When the relationship ends they have nothing else to look to but themselves, and they’re not used to relying on themselves.

Secondly, drastically changing yourself after a break up kind of solidifies that this was a very huge event for you. And I guess it is, but some see it bigger than others.

The changes and improvements are undertaken (in your case) to solidify another LTR (I bet) and the cycle just begins again.

The change you need to make is in your mind. To not seek ultimate meaning in a woman. Look elsewhere for meaning. I’m not saying romantic relationships are not important but if you have other things in your life that make you happy and fulfilled you are stronger and paradoxically more likely to find “love”. Develop some male friends and masculine team hobbies. Fucking volunteer for a cause you find important. Find things that fill you, other than a woman.

ForgiveMeForgetMe · 2021-05-07T23:08:36+00:00

First of all, you are doing everything right ! Keep it up with exercises because it helps you having this sensation of achievement.

Now, about the life been depressing and lonely, you are been nostalgic about old times and you are missing the good moments and not thinking about the bad ones. This is a human thing.

Now, concerning girls, you really need to be in a good state of mind before thinking about them. This girls will suck you a lot of energy (and I hope for you not only energy). I'm pretty sure you are not feeling that great around people. You really need to be in peace with you before enjoying others. The same is for girls.

Keep it up man, try to compare you to your old 6 month ago you. Compare your photos, enjoy been better. Stare at the mirror and tell you that you are most beautiful motherfucker in the world. Be delighted and impatient to be tomorrow to see the newer you. Try new things that you always kept for another day because you didn't have time before. Tell you that since today, nobody will stop you to live the life you are chosing too. You really need to feel that you have power, that you have strength, that you are the prettiest motherfucker in town. Man, believe me, you will have this unstoppable feeling if you continue like this !

AlfredKinsey · 2021-05-07T23:56:13+00:00

It can take time to be comfortable being single again. OLD can be a real self-esteem killer for dudes. Focus on socializing with friends and stick to social circle game and cold approach when you want women in your life again. Plenty of other shit to focus on. If you haven’t blocked your ex on social media, etc, do that.

1426kils · 2021-05-08T06:34:39+00:00

Part of abandoning oneitis is not over idealizing any one woman. But another part is knowing that you can genuinely love more than one woman. You are a male homo sapien. You are a wild animal similar to lions and stallions, and you had a great mare who is now gone. You can love her forever and keep her in your heart until the day you die. That's alright. But dont think you cant love another (or several at a time), or that losing one great one means you will always be miserable. It's just not true. Youre mischaracterizing yourself.

PepinoSF · 2021-05-08T10:03:59+00:00

You shoul only regret the invested time and money. It is not easy to understand that under the train of feelings, but thats what it is. Start dating bitches. If there are no free sluts around at the moment, get a paid one. In general men are very easy to get pampered. They need only 2 things - food and pussy.

Just dont waste your time pityng yourself

tryingtochange72662 · 2021-05-08T10:54:43+00:00

Do some hobby which involves other people. Boxing has introduced me to many new people.

lokilis · 2021-05-07T20:49:54+00:00

It's fine, just give it more time and keep improving

yaboyebeatz · 2021-05-07T22:53:05+00:00

Why did y’all break up?

berttbeans996 · 2021-05-08T01:16:30+00:00

I’m in a similar situation as you, still not over my ex and it’s been a year. I wish I could go back but I know I never can.

Man I’d say just keep focusing on leveling up. Money, body, fashion sense, look up how to take better pictures. Practice taking better pictures. Find your poses, find your angles. Just keep leveling up. Pour yourself into a hobby.

I’d say pour yourself into a sport. I’ve met a lot of guys playing basketball. They want to be friends with me because I’m good. I got asked to join a league. The people you know just keeps expanding especially if you’re proficient. Same applies to any sport.

Or a combat sport. I’m sure you’d meet a lot of friends that way too.

KurkTheMagnificent · 2021-05-08T01:38:13+00:00

Nothing you do can change the past. Accept that peace is a lie.

SteveSan82 · 2021-05-08T04:36:54+00:00

Read The Rational Male. Learn Game. Start approaching.

btt069 · 2021-05-08T05:56:01+00:00

Fight man, Join BJJ or MMA or any othe kind of Martial arts. You will get to meet with high value men. Read 48 days of Power thread in Sidebar. Its lonely man, but There is light at the end of the tunnel, just don't stop what you are doing now, keep doing but adding more to that.
Other commentors have already given excellent advices.

1426kils · 2021-05-08T06:40:27+00:00

Being in brotherhoods, friends or family or activity or work, cures all this stuff. I've said it so many times and everyone agrees that there is no truer love than that found in brotherhoods. Giving less power to women becomes easy when you have brothers. Even telling our stupid moms in their little girl brains to fuck off is easy for guys with brothers. It just works.

Peach1632 · 2021-05-08T07:40:46+00:00

Look at it this way: Post break up the time is going to pass regardless, and one of these days you’ll suddenly realize that you think of her less and less and that you’re through the worst of it. When that realization hits, you’ll also realize that you could have let the time pass while wallowing in misery, getting fat, and doing nothing to better yourself. Instead, you did all of the things you mentioned above. As a result, when you ARE ready to truly move on, you’ll be in the position to have so much to offer a woman that is worthy. You will not regret this!

You’re still grieving the loss of what could have been. That’s normal. You’re faking it till you make it, man. One of these days how you feel on the inside will start to match up with how good you look on the outside! When that happens everything will fall into place for you.

GEEZUS00 · 2021-05-08T07:41:57+00:00

You’ll learn to live with that lesson and move on. You’ll get used to it eventually.

PhaedrusHunt · 2021-05-08T08:23:41+00:00

The bigger the wave, the greater the chance for an epic ride.

Six months is the blink of an eye kid.

Hang in and hang ten.

fic3 · 2021-05-08T08:50:40+00:00

One year after my ex left me for another guy out of the blue. From that day on I am in NC and it works well. But there are times when I miss her badly... Like I have a deep hole in my chest.

glowing_dolphins · 2021-05-08T09:42:25+00:00

How many women have you asked out in person?

How many events have you organised with friends?

Genuinely, it sounds like you have your hand in a fire and are complaining about the heat.

Yashugan00 · 2021-05-08T10:54:59+00:00

"But, I haven’t as much as been on a date or anything. "

I got over my ex in a big way when I started seeing other girls.

What you're above saying once again re-affirms my belief that:

"Love is the realisation you can't get (or deserve) a better partner"

As such: the problem is you, of self esteem, and the refusal/inability to get out there and meet other people. because once you do, you realise there are some really great girls out there, for different reasons that what you valued in your ex.

It's understandable of course, you've been cooped up so long, you lack the abundance mentality, you're lonely and your mind wanders to what you lost. (which you know is not the girl, but the intimacy and bond you used to have.)

Chemical-Illustrious · 2021-05-08T12:26:08+00:00

HAVE YOU FUCKED ANY OTHER GIRL? if not, then get off this sub and go fuck a new girl. Fuck tons of them. Get rejected two thousand times till you fuck a new girl. Once you do so, you may whine and complain.

“Your desire to miss your old ex who is getting piped properly plummets with the amount of good pussy you get. It’s science.” - Abraham Lincoln 2000 BC

BrazilRedPill · 2021-05-08T12:37:04+00:00

You need to be busy on the weekends. This is your main problem and the number one thing you must address right now.

Start with things you can do alone. Long bike rides, walking, running etc. Then you need to find a group of weekend activities. Knives forging, tennis whatever.

You need to compromise your weekend with things that you need to do and be part of a group. It will be a lot easier to find friends this way.

Do your stuff, live your life your way, express yourself, share interests with others.

mayonaishe · 2021-05-08T13:10:35+00:00

It takes a LONG time. I wasn't really over mine for perhaps 3 - 5 years. I met someone soon after we broke up but I needed more time. It took me 6 months from breakup to be at the stage I could be in another relationship but it took years after that to truly be able to say I was OK again. Not the same person as I was, different but OK! Honestly think my current LTR deserves the guy I was with my ex but what can you do, had to learn somehow.

drakehfh · 2021-05-08T17:23:49+00:00

Years ago I was in the same situation (might still be from time to time).

First you have to learn that you miss the image of her, and not her as a person.

I had a LTR of a few years who would do anything for me and ask for my permission for literally everything. I totally owned her as a person.

Had to leave her for other reasons and couldn't take her out of my mind because I missed owning a girl like that. I could rarely invest in sluts but this girl did earn it.

Learn to live with it and understand that this is normal.

Go to some new hobby classes, meet new people. Find girls similar to that one and you will finally be able to replace her.

AnonBro34333 · 2021-05-10T02:43:32+00:00

Swallowing the red pill doesn’t make you feel less emotion towards a quality girl you planned your future with. I’ve been red pill for 6-7 years.

I was in a 2 year LTR and we’ve been broken up going on 2 months. Doesn’t matter what forums I read, videos I watch, or the negative thoughts I make myself think of my ex. It’s been very tough for me to fully move on.

I’ve gone through 5 plates in the past month and temporarily it makes you feel better but subconsciously I realize they couldn’t fill the shoes of my ex - she set a new standard and unfortunately in today’s society it’s hard to find a replacement when you have a high quality LTR it doesn’t work out with. But don’t expect to meet a quality girl that could replace the thought of your ex at the bar or tinder, etc. they’re sluts and it’ll make you miss your ex more, contrary to popular belief.

Just know you’re not alone for what it’s worth. I have days I don’t wanna get out of bed - I have other days that she won’t even cross my mind.

It’s hard to truly believe it right now, but there is plenty of women out there that won’t only fill her shoes, but set a new standard and bring you much more joy than your ex.

Right now isn’t a time to worry about an LTR. When you’ve been with someone for years you adapt to a new way of life and you’re used to having them by your side most of the time so of course you’re gonna feel like a piece of you died. You gotta focus on yourself now and as corny as it may sound, learn to be happy with yourself. Don’t expect a high quality woman to come along if you’re not high quality yourself.

Take the breakup as a learning experience. Use the information you learned and apply it to future relationships. Focus on the gym, making money and your hobbies. Don’t forget, you’re the star of your own movie and anyone who comes along is lucky to be in it. You’re the prize. Not her.

TeddyMGTOW · 2021-05-07T23:10:34+00:00

I heard this on a youtuber...its out of the box thinking. i want you to think of her while you jerk off. try that for a while and report back..sounds crazy but he swears by it...

bluejedi24 · 2021-05-08T03:14:16+00:00

Didn’t read.

It’s ok man. Sometimes it takes a few YEARS. Trust me. Been there. Took me about 2 full years once to feel truly “great” again about life.

Just keep pressing on and working hard toward your goals and bettering yourself. One day you will feel good again. I promise. It starts with belief in yourself.

Fart-_-Loud · 2021-05-08T12:36:39+00:00

get banned for advocating oneitis

Title	Still Not Over my Ex After 6 Months
Author	shittyfuckdick
Upvotes	98
Comments	106
Date	May 7, 2021 6:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/n75siu/still_not_over_my_ex_after_6_months/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/still-not-over-my-ex-after-6-months.776326 https://theredarchive.com/post/776326