New to TRP subs, and would love to get some advice from TRP community. I've recently become Red Pill aware, and am now questioning my marriage accordingly. My old Blue Pill scarcity mentality let me settle for a girl who I've lost sexual attraction for, and I'm strongly considering divorcing her and starting with a clean slate.

I am 31 and have been married for less than 6 months to my LTR. We've been together over 5 years. Essentially I am trying to figure out:
1. Whether or not to exit the marriage
2. If exiting the marriage, how to do so gracefully and save face (e.g. friends, family, etc. not turning on me and making me an outcast because I left my wife)
3. After exiting the marriage, how to start fresh with a Red Pill life

I know that I made many mistakes in the past due to my old Blue Pill conditioning. I'm not here to re-hash them or re-litigate those mistakes, but to seek guidance moving forward from today to live the best life possible through RP principles.

I have a great marriage on paper, but realize that I settled too early and don't find my wife sexually attractive anymore, which at ages 31/28 respectively does not bode well for our future. Objectively she's a great wife: she was a 22 year old virgin when we met and is totally into me. I'm the leader and dominant one in the relationship and have a higher SMV, so I've effectively kept her hypergamy in check.

The big elephant in the room is sex. The chemistry has faded, and I'm interested in more attractive girls that I will be able to pull by living and embracing TRP. When our sex life declined, I read Athol Kay's materials, self improved and upped my SMV. These gains have translated into increased attention from other women, but not into more fun in the bedroom at home. I strongly crave sexual satisfaction that I just don't think I'll be able to ever get through my marriage. My old Blue Pill conditioning tells me to accept this and that it's OK... that I've just "settled down." However this lack of sex is grating at my happiness, and the Red Pill gives me the hope and optimism that I'm not destined to a life of sexual mediocrity.

Background I was your classic Blue Pill AFC Beta when my LTR and I met. I was a serial monogamist and never spun plates. I went all-in and started seeing her exclusively age 25 just as my SMV had began to increase. I settled down ASAP for the "monogamy as a goal" mindset. I finally had the g/f I had longed for. I definitely had the scarcity mentality. I thought that I had to date someone close to my age, and that the quality girls would be off the market if I waited too long. Also being from the South, many of my friends from home were already married.

My LTR was attractive but had her flaws. I considered her a 'diamond in the rough,' perfect for my Blue Pill mentality. She was good looking, chill and down to earth. She was smart, frugal, and pursuing a grad degree. She checked all the right boxes. However she also had her shortcomings including a history of anxiety and eating disorders. The sex was good and frequent once she got used to it, but never great. That's OK, I figured. I had found my "catch" and felt "lucky" to have her. I was no alpha stud anyway, I'd just be happy to settle for her.

First Signs of Trouble The signs of trouble occurred when we moved in together. The sexual frequency and quality both took a nose dive. She used to be much more social, but became a much bigger homebody. She used to go out more, put heels on, dress up etc., which I loved. When we moved in together it felt like she made the switch from a fun, sexy 20-something girl to an old lady. Per my newfound TRP knowledge all of this makes sense in hindsight... my g/f had effectively secured my commitment. The competition anxiety had been quelled. She also began to get snippy with me about the house, chores, etc. Her household was gynocentric growing up, and her mother is the alpha who bosses her dad around. No sons, only daughters. This dynamic began to seep into our household. She began to get snippy with me quite frequently. The trend continued for a while until I finally grew a pair and put my foot down. In hindsight I think I lost a lot of frame when we moved in together.

When things were really at a sexual low point, I developed a serious crush and ONEtis for another girl... my LTR's younger, hotter sister. At first it sucked, I felt down because I didn't feel like I was good enough for a girl as hot as her.

Self Improvement & The Red Pill Awakening At that point, I read Athol Kay's materials and started self improving to up my SMV to get more attention from women, and spark my LTR-turned-fiancee's attraction. I hit the gym hard, shredded down 15 lbs. of body fat, bought a new wardrobe, joined a new project at work with a fun, traveling team, and got an early promotion 2016. Life was good. And I began to get more attention from attractive girls. All of a sudden, my sister-in-law to-be was no longer out of my league and we even had a few flirty instances. During my bachelor party, a group of bachelorette party HB8's approached me and told me I looked like their celeb crush Chris Evans. Damn. This was a new life I had never experienced... knowing all I had to do was game them a bit and they'd be in my hotel room. My ONEitis towards my LTR's sister even changed. She went from this pedestalized girl out of my league to just a sexy HB who I wanted to pick up, throw on my bed and have wild pounding sex she'd never forget. The type of sex that my now-wife doesn't enjoy...

After the wedding I hit a breakdown when I realized that the sex with my wife was a lost cause. My continued self improvement had paid dividends everywhere except in my own bedroom. I picked up Rollo Tomassi's books, read them both twice and recently discovered the online RP resources. The experience was liberating. I always felt like relationships and women were a system rigged against us average guys... the Red Pill exposed the system and taught me that I could WIN at it.

Per RP advice, I cut out masturbation and went out on the town on NYE with the 'loaded gun'. It was such a fun experience... I felt the testosterone coursing through my veins, and felt very confident and flirty. My wife stayed in as she wasn't feeling well. I came home that night and figured that with all the build up testosterone from a week without jerking off, I'd want to dive into bed and nail my wife like no tomorrow. But when I crawled into bed something was off. I just didn't find my wife attractive. It was like something flipped a biological switch and my body just wasn't interested in sex with her.

What Next? And therein lies the problem. I've become RP-aware, and have gone through a period of great self-improvement that's still in progress. Before I was terrified to end my marriage and be single again... scarcity mentality. Now, I have confidence that at age 31, I'm entering my SMV prime and can spin plates for a few years before considering settling down again.

So here I am today and unsure of what to do next. On the one hand, the allure of divorcing and starting from scratch through a Red Pill life is very tempting. On the other, I don't want to throw in the towel on the marriage just yet... maybe it's the last vestige of my Blue Pill conditioning but I feel like I should try to make it work. I love my wife deeply and don't want to hurt her, but I know in my gut that I settled for less than I'm capable of, and am facing middling to mediocre sex for the rest of our lives together. She didn't do anything wrong and is a great wife. And I know that leaving her is going to totally crush her, which is the last thing I want. I really love her and want the best for her.

I'd love to get some objective advice... about how to proceed. Is there anyone out there in the community who's dealt with a similar situation, divorced and started over again?

Updates from Original Post

Thanks for the insights all. I've employed dread and cultivated desire in my wife. The issue isn't a lax of sexual response from her right now; when I initiate she responds. The issue is that the sex is mediocre and I don't feel the same attraction or chemistry.

She hasn't let herself go and is still fit and in good shape, but she doesn't put effort into her appearance or practice girl game anymore. I don't notice many shifts in dress or behavior when she is ovulating, but she definitely gets hornier during her menstrual phase which I've always found to be intriguing. At one point I kindly broached the subject of her dressing sexier when we went out. When I later complimented her looks one evening she made a comment about looking pretty because I told her to. It's like she doesn't care about girl game at all.

You love your wife deeply. Can you even explain to me what love is? I think your deepest desire is to be single again and live what you couldn't because of your blue pill conditioning.

I deeply care for her. I don't want to hurt her and want the best for her and for her to be happy. You're right, I want to be single, spin plates and live the life I couldn't before due to my Beta/AFC mentality. I want an LTR/marriage again at some point, but only after entering it in the right frame.

It [dread] did, however, backfire on me. She became so insecure that the problem got worse instead of better.

This is EXACTLY what is happening with my wife right now. The associated dread from NYE resulted in great sex the morning after, but she was also a nervous wreck all day and was convinced I was having an affair. Dread temporarily makes the sex better, but it's also tearing her apart emotionally--she's had a few panic attacks from it from fear that I'm going to leave her. I care deeply for her and hate making her feel this way. Right now she is craving beta comfort and commitment... I think more dread is only going to make it worse.