GF wants me to show "that i care about her" by letting guys flirt with her and then expects me to "man up". I AM FUCKING ANGRY AT HER! AWALT??

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January 24, 2017
69 upvotes

Sorry for the long post. This is a rant. I can't talk about it with my friends. Because i know i will get nothing than blue pill answers so here I tell you in hope to help me to get rid of my knot in my head...

Intro Yesterday i had a phone convo with my gf of 1 year about my manliness. About my manliness! I am in a constant state of anger since my gf feels entitled to talk about my manliness with me! Anyway shortly described she told me that she feels like i dont show manliness in certain situations when she want me to. That it would be way more attractive to man up instead of reject the situation. (better me taking a knife in my stomach as a hero, instead of engage the situations how they are).

2 Situation Examples:

  • We were both at a club. I walked around and chatted with people and left her alone with some friends of her. When i came back, she told me that one specific guy tried to flirt with her mulitple times and didnt leave her alone. (i didnt see anything). „Well did you tell him to fuck off then?“ – „No i was surprised. I couldnt handle it. I hoped you gonna do something about it?“ (oooook shut up).I knew exactly why she told me this. She's not that shy type of girl. Any other situations she has a full mouth and tell annoying people to fuck off but of course not now. At this moment I was already angry at her for trying to get me all alpha and „protect“ my innocent gf. (I’m so over this shit). A Situation that could be avoided when she just told him to go away. But no, it must be me. But i did not join this drama. I wanted to enjoy my night and not getting involved in this shit. I didn't play along and concentrated on having fun with friends that night.

  • A random guy (2 years younger than her) started to text her a while before. I said to her, he just wants to fuck her (he texted complimenting her looks). She’s aware of that subconsciously but denies it of course. She says as long he’s just texting normal (no flirting) she’s ok with it, otherwise she would block him. At this moment i thought I have other shit to care about. I knew she was trying to get me defending and „fight for my girl“ and that shit made me angry again. I was thinking when she wants to fuck him then she can do it and then she can get the fuck out of my house. But that's not her intention. It's to me taking responsibility for her bullshit actions. Anyway once we were out with 4 friends and this random guy tried to call her on that night. We all saw the phone call. "Oh no! This guy is annoying all the time. He doesn't leave me alone." All the others (aware of this dude) wanted to answer the call and fuck with him. (some kind of „dont mess with us, we fuck you up if you try“) I didnt want to because i don’t want to give her this goddamn satisfaction. She put herself in this shit. She's baiting him the whole time. Of course he tries more.

Ranting/knot in my head NOW what makes my angry? Both of this situations (there are more) could have been avoided, when she just told this guy to fuck off or just stopped texting this guy. I mean when she’s playing around with them (playing with orbiters) i dont care. But then she comes to me viewing herself as a victim and she „just doesnt know how she gets in such situations“. Fuck that. She’s knows exactly why. She’s the one provoking just to get me "fighting for her".

This 2 situations happened exactly like that because these 2 situations were discussed at the phone call to explain me that ‚i have to man up more‘ / ‚show my manliness‘ to show her that she can trust my power to protect her and that i care about her. She told me that overtly! But the thing is, the more she's doing these shit-tests, the less respect and tolerance i have for her. And her telling me that in the whole LTR she never really seen something 'manly' from me. There was the cut. Fuck you!

I am full of this shit. I don’t get why i should get myself in trouble and fuck my good times up for her kind of silly shit. I am disappointed in my gf doing that shit. Maybe i am in a angry/denying phase of TRP. I don't want it to be the truth that i have to play along this shit.

I don't think it's worth my time just to satisfy her playing around. I don't need that kind of drama in my life.

So..

MY QUESTION TO YOU ALL: Is my girl extraordinary playful and i can get better off with some other 'not so playing around' girl?

or

AWALT. So no matter who i date i will get in this situations again so i better get used to it and play this game I live in?

Thanks for your read and advice.

EDIT: thx to all your comments. Hard truth. I try to implement them.

So I set myself:

1.Pass this fucking shittests. Get your emotions in control and stop loosing frame so fast. Don't show it.

if there will be more intolerate actions:

2.Set boundaries "I don't tolerate you doing this!"

if she doesnt respect what i want:

3.soft next

if she doesnt care, i don't care.

4.NEXT!


Post Information
Title GF wants me to show "that i care about her" by letting guys flirt with her and then expects me to "man up". I AM FUCKING ANGRY AT HER! AWALT??
Author trpmk
Upvotes 69
Comments 65
Date 24 January 2017 12:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/81314
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5pvv5x/gf_wants_me_to_show_that_i_care_about_her_by/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
alphaAWALTframedramalong term relationshipgamethe red pillthe blue pillsoft nexting
Comments

[–]RPShitlord139 points140 points  (4 children) | Copy

Total disrespect.

Tell her she's a fuck buddy now and she can do anything she wants.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Idk if I would even give her that.

[–]1AmlanceJockey30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea. This is classic "let's you and him fight". This shit gets men killed and jailed every day all day. Run fast and run far.

[–]Diarrhea_Van_Frank12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah, no need to tell her she's downgraded. Tell her she can do what she wants and then treat her like she's downgraded.

[–]moontripper12462 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Straight up tho

[–]1DonaldBaelish49 points50 points  (12 children) | Copy

Here's the problem. You are failing all her shit tests and the more you fail , the more you get tested , the tougher the tests.

She tells you a guy came to her. "Are you not going to do something about it?" , "Sure , I was just thinking of asking him for a threesome!". And then keep on dancing and doing whatever you were doing. Passed.

She tells you a guy is texting her. "Haha if he was flirty , I would block him." , "I guess I have a lot of blocking to do in my messenger." Given that you have failed too many shit tests , she won't believe you. Understand that all women , even those on the negative HB scale have orbiters and people texting them.

You failed setting covert boundaries but that is not the end of the world. Sometimes women need to be sat down and you have to explicitly tell them what they should and should not do. Doing this , however , opens the possibility of a girl hiding her tracks if she continues doing bullshit. Abundance comes to play if she does that , hard next as usual.

You are not respecting her less. You are failing to swallow the pill. All women are like that. All women shit test. All women are Drama.

You just have to realize that shit testing never stops. Countless words have been written about this , all you have to do is understand that she is testing your value.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Given that you have failed too many shit tests , she won't believe you.

And shit-test you even harder. Plus guilt-trip you, trying to force you into submission.

[–]IIlllIllIIIllIl13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ding ding ding.

OP, heed wisdom. She is saying, "Be manly," but she wants you to "Just get it.™"

The stronger you are, the softer they become.

[–]trpmk points points [recovered] | Copy

Thx for your advice.

These are really good comebacks i should have thought to say. ;) It's that in this moments i think "fuck that, if you want a guy to 'fight for you' fuck off and find someone else." I get instant angry and am unable to think clearly and just avoid it by going away or ignore it. I take it personally too fast or you could say my frame is really weak, i really have to work on that no matter what.

I can next her, yes. and get out of this drama. But this doesn't change nothing. It will happen with the next girl and so on. I should stop avoiding conflicts and start setting boundaries. (my whole inner blue-pill fights against it) But i must do it. I tell her that it want it to stop and if I see another thing like that it's done.

Either way i play the games and can win. Or i don't play along (because im angry) and already lost.

It's like i know it's reality and the nature of women and still i'm angry. And by being angry i lost.

[–]FrameWalker9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont mate guard. Chase other girls in front ofnher instead and stfu. Keep your mouth shut.

[–]1DonaldBaelish2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a hopeless situation anyways. We all make mistakes. The problem comes from the fact that you get easily phased when she starts aggresively testing your frame out of the blue. Your emotions take over the place and you want to go passive-agressive and tell her to find someone else. Don't sabotage yourself.

I don't like your attitute to the situation , lad. First you need to start passing her tests. Once you do that , the problem should be solved.

Overt boundaries are the last resort.

[–]Ganaria_Gente1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

a true RP does not become angry.

never let your emotions dominate you like that. stop being angry.

[–]The__Tren__Train0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

sounds like you are still swallowing the red pill and aren't quite fully unplugged tbh

[–]The__Tren__Train4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She tells you a guy came to her. "Are you not going to do something about it?" , "Sure , I was just thinking of asking him for a threesome!".

haha I can just picture OP talking to dude off in the distance in the club, and GF smiling gleefully as she watches what she thinks is OP cleaning up the mess she needlessly created.

then OP and dude walk over and ask GF if she's down for DP

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best way to protect yourself in this situation is to have other women.

[–]tekneqz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What would you say if she said ok to the threesome?

[–]my_sfw_alias3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then its time for some double-anal

[–]1DonaldBaelish2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Keep on escalating the shit test.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's up to you to decide if she's breaking boundaries.

I'd soft next at first but if she kept doing that then NEXT.

Seriously it's not LTR material. Downgrade to plate

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is 100% normal for your girl to have orbiters. All girls do. As long as you're the one fucking her, while the other guys beg for scraps of her attention, and she finds them amusing and pathetic (and maybe even laughs at them with you), you'd be fine.

But in your case, your girl is actively soliciting positive male attention from other guys, then intentionally using it to shit test you. She sees this as a win-win situation. You either do nothing, and she gets to keep cultivating attention and maybe even fuck another guy (and it's your fault for not doing anything to keep her!), or you do something, and she gets to laugh at you for your pathetic display of mate-guarding, call you jealous and insecure, and then it's your fault when she fucks another guy because you're a shitty, controlling, weak loser.

Your problem is that you're a sensitive little bitch. Instead of agreeing and amplifying her shit tests, you're hitting them over the head with a giant hammer.

Here's what you're doing:

"This other guy was flirting with me all night!"

"Did you tell him to fuck off?"

"No. I wanted you to handle this."

"Ahhh! Why should I have to do that! I'm soooo butt-hurt! You're such a disrespectful cunt! Ahhh! I'm manly! I'm hitting your shit test with a hammer! Ahhh! Watch as I ignore you like a real man! Ahhh!"

Better examples:

"This other guy was flirting with me all night!"

"Even after you told him to fuck off?" (Note the subtle difference in language -- you are assuming she already told him off, not questioning whether she did.)

"Uh...I was hoping you would talk to him."

"Why? He's not hitting on me....saaaaay, he's actually kind of cute. If he makes his move, don't wait up for me tonight!"


"This other guy was flirting with me all night!"

"The cute one? Score! Did you get his number?"

"Uh...what?"

"Oh come on. At least tell me you got him to buy you a few drinks. I'm not paying for you."


"This other guy was flirting with me all night!"

"Cool! How far did he get?"

"Uh...I was hoping you would talk to him."

"Why? You want me to give him some pointers?"

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

/u/Archwinger's advice is all the advice you need.

OP, this bitch should be your toy, not the other way around.

[–]abdada36 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy

How many times did you say my girl in this post?

She isn't yours, it's just your turn.

Stop worrying about it. You're too young and financially immature to be wasting time with a woman who stresses you out.

[–]trpmk points points [recovered] | Copy

fuck.

It's like shots of hard truth in my head in this comment section.

[–]flatox14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good.

[–]-Petulance points points [recovered] | Copy

She's trying to break your frame and make you mate guard, and if you're getting angry it's working.

Up to you if you want to continue to be around someone who pisses you off.

[–]illusiveab1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a good answer, mostly because it illustrates that when she makes you angry, you officially enter her frame once you react.

[–]StingrayVC14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't ever let a woman define for you what it is to be a man. The moment you do, you have lost.

[–]killxorxbexkilled10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're wasting your time with this girl.

[–]SexistFlyingPig10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reading after the edit.

#2 is mate guarding. It's not sexy, it's not hot.

She can do whatever the fuck she wants. So can you. He behavior says she's looking to branch swing to a hotter guy. It's time for you to drop her and move on.

Let me repeat myself. She can do whatever the fuck she wants to do. SO. CAN. YOU.

[–]vorverk7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are losing your frame all over the place by being angry. How long have you been on TRP? Don't respond overtly to her shit tests. You don't say: "Well did you tell him to fuck off then?"
You say: "Oh, you should go on a date with him" a wink and a smirk, then go talk to other ladies.

Or if you must, say something like: "Oh, look at you. Trying to make me jellous?" - again, with a smirk on your face.

You are clearly lacking abundance mentality and your anger is killing her attraction to you. Prepare for more shittest shitstorms. You are afraid of losing her and being angry on her not to shit test you is not helping this either. The power is in her hands now. She can try to solve this, but we all know: AWALT.

I am sorry to break it to you, but this is all probably too late, the damage was done. You clearly can't emotionally take this, so I suggest you break it off before you do more damage (to your self esteem) and work on your SMV - you need more abundance mentality to handle this situations better. Also listen to DonaldBaelish.

[–]WillMatte points points [recovered] | Copy

Don't let yourself be manipulated. Give her the silent treatment or a soft next. SHE WILL COME BACK.

[–]MuhTriggersGuise5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do your even understand the concept of maintaining frame? She's got you dancing around in fits of jealousy and rage. YOU ARE IN HER FRAME. Chill the fuck out. If some woman you LTR'd is disrespecting you, quietly demote her to plate status. She criticizes your masculinity? Agree and amplify, then kill that convo. Your masculinity isn't on the table for discussion. She still being rude? There's plenty of fish in the sea man. Just go dark on her and move on with your awesome life.

While I like your plan, I think you're past the point of setting boundaries. She should already know disrespecting you is across the line, yet she's doing it anyway. Just quietly detach, chill out, and plan what awesome stuff you want to do going forward. Don't get so emotionally involved man.

[–]FrameWalker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You fuck up every time you talk. Fight fire w fire. Every time shes texting guys you go get numbers at the club, starr having lunch w exes and prospects again. Dont rub it in but dontbhide it either. Straight up call your ex in front of her when she comolains about random texts from a guy

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

All of these situations could have been avoided if she just stood up and dealt with the problem, and you're frustrated she wont?

But you understand the behavior, dont you? After all, these situations could be avoided if you just stood up to her and dealt with the problem, but you wont.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You want a red pill answer? Try this one: you're a fag. She is just a woman, if you don't like her behavior ghost the bitch for a week and see if the dread changes her tune. Don't talk about the ghosting just say you were busy. The fact that you are so upset is proof you are still under the control of her magical snowflake vagina. Do you want her to love you like mommy? C'mon man you know better...

[–]the-bum-hammer2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

GF wants me to show "that i care about her" by letting guys flirt with her and then expects me to "man up".

This is where you should simply get rid of her. She's gaslighting and manipulating. You don't "care" about her unless you're willing to let her suck some other cock and maybe she'll share the cum in a kiss with you. Cucks show they care.

I AM FUCKING ANGRY AT HER! AWALT??

Irrelevant. Get rid of her. This is not a relationship-worthy female. Not even sure she is worth fucking at this point. Let her be some other guy's STD-machine.

[–]brinkleybuzz3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yes. AWALT and APALT. She's questioning your manhood because you're acting like a pussy, evidenced by the fact you used time that you could have been lifting or meditating to post a wall of text about a dramatic bitch. Drop her and get your shit together

[–]Late30sMasculist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

evidenced by the fact you used time that you could have been lifting or meditating to post a wall of text about a dramatic bitch

I thought the same thing. OP sounds like a teenaged girl himself. No wonder his gf said he's unmanly.

"OMG I just need to vent!" "I am so over it" "I am a victim!"

OP sounds like a woman & needs to work on emotional control.

[–]IIlllIllIIIllIl2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

APALT?

[–]zezozio3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pussies

[–]brinkleybuzz2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I AM FUCKING ANGRY AT HER!

APALT applies to guys who say shit like this.

[–]IIlllIllIIIllIl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ABALT

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My ex tried that shit too. "Did you see that guy flirting with me?"

Yes I did, I was hoping you'd get his number for me

[–]Ratcheta1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My ex gf would hit me all the time with bullshit like this. "Show me you care, fight for me" like, bitch, I shouldn't have to fight. She would also talk to other guys much more often than I was comfortable with. That was, unfortunately, back when I was too weak to leave easily; I did eventually gtfo, however.

And that's my advice to you: GTFO.

[–]bowie7471 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The club thing I could probably handle - people chat in clubs and she may have exaggerated how he wouldn't leave her alone to get a reaction from you. If she was actually bothered by that she would have left.

The texting crosses the line for me. There's no reason to be texting some guy. A long time friend perhaps? Sure. Some random guy is not allowed to text my lady and she is especially not allowed to engage.

Disrespectful.

[–]shipintbrief1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why are people go in clubs with a gf? I understand going alone to find someone to fuck — but when you have someone to fuck already? I just don't get it.

[–]Nergaal1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you don't have abundance mentality. She doesn't feel like she has to work for your attention so she is fucking with your mind instead.

[–]kasper1381 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's not testing you. She's manipulating you.

She's setting it up so that she doesn't have to have any guilty feelings when she cheats on you which she either has or will. The whole idea of tests is retarded to being with. Fuck your "tests". You're under no obligation to take them. Always remember one things.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

You will never get anywhere with any woman if she doesn't know that you can and will leave her. Complacency(Familiarity) breeds contempt.

Move on and don't forget to take back your testicals from her.

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is all standard chick behavior. Shit tests... Just come back with something cocky, and if you get sick of her bullshit, move on to the next.

[–]sirfuckboysupreme0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're annoyed and angry at your girl. You shouldn't be annoyed or angry. TRP is about making you the best (and happiest) version of you. The fact you're still with her shocks me. She has no respect. She's a waste of time and a liability.

[–]Apexk90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Next time she brings it up be like OK baby I'll man up. And dump her.

Get some balls

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She's not your girlfriend, dude. She's my girlfriend.

[–]KilosandBeers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus Christ dude, get out now...What's this soft next shit..Fucking bounce, bounce now and bounce definitively. Seriously. HARD NEXT.

[–]IFuckingHateAllergy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a COMFORT TEST not a shit-test. That's at least what I got from that verbal diarrhea.

She wants you to be protective and mateguard because she feels like you don't give a shit about losing her( (which is the right frame but your delivery is all wrong).

Maintain a stoic personality but you have to at least make her feel that she is your woman without looking insecure.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

From her behavior, does it seem like she's afraid of losing you?

Here's the deal: your alphaness has slipped. She no longer respects you, and her interest in you is dropping.

What she's doing now is a sort of shit test/shopping around. It's win-win for her: either you pass the test, and re-establish that you're worthy of being her boyfriend, or one of these other guys will poach her from you.

Of course she denies it. Never take women at face value; just watch her behavior.

[–]epistemic_humility0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Next for a bit. Spend more time with plates. Don't get angry. Lift, read and Meditate.

Biege Phillip would tell you to think like this:

"my undying love for you will not prevent me from denying you access to my life"

Deny her bud, that's disrespect.

Also sounds like you've got oneitus pretty bad.. Work on that

[–]AshyBoneVR40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL, man, situation 1 I would have ended shit with her right there and then.

[–]fcb982920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have been friend-zoned, and she doesn't want you. Soft next or perhaps a plate, but she is not LTR quality.

[–]quicklogaccount-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

Women look into rubbing pre selection on your face. "A little bit of jealously" works on them, so they presume it'll work on you as well. Your girlfriend is using that to game you, and she enjoys that.
On the bit about manning up, she's right. She likes and wants that. I'm actually amazed that she brought that up like that.

The way I see it, she's doing something she enjoys and that is harmful to your relationship in order to get something she wants.
Personally, I deem this sort of behavior, the lack of thought about the harm her actions might bring, incredibly selfish, risky, immature and absolutely not something I'll take from a girlfriend (not again, I mean). Then again, I doubt you'll find non issued women that acts any different, at least not before they nuke a relationship by pulling that sort of shit.

Although this isn't a very RP solution, if you CAN afford to end your relationship with her, you can always simply talk. You'll probably lose some attraction, but if things start to suck, you can leave.
I'd go with "Look, I'll intervene when if happens that a guy is crossing the line, even though I know that when this happens you'll be pissed at me because you'll want to deescalate it. But I won't do shit if you keep stringing losers along or keeps talking and flirting expecting me to dump guys for you. Dumping guys or not dumping them is your business. My business is dumping you if you don't, or stepping in if they get aggressive."
She won't like this, you'll be holding her accountable, but very few women are nearly good enough for it to be worth the hassle of leading a RP relationship. For most women, either they make the relationship easier, or gtfo.
(My current take on the issue is, if she's not good enough for an RP relationship, she's not good enough for any relationship. Even if it starts easy, eventually I'll be doing heavy lifting all the same, so I rather collect heavy benefits.)

[–]1DonaldBaelish2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Look, I'll intervene when if happens that a guy is crossing the line

All men should intervene when a guy is crossing the line. No need to outline it to a woman. Some guy comes and grabs your girl's ass. You think staying there not doing anything because "muh abundance" and "lol who cares not mine just mah turn" and "mate guarding is for loooosers" makes you alpha in her eyes? You just became the biggest pussy around for all the people that saw you lack of action. Men are the dominant gender. Men are confrontational. But we are speaking of a man crossing the line. Go and mate guard because some guy said hello to your girlfriend and you kill all tingles.

even though I know that when this happens you'll be pissed at me because you'll want to deescalate it.

Women want to play the game. They want to watch. They don't want a behavioural lesson showing them how they will act in certain situations.

But I won't do shit if you keep stringing losers along or keeps talking and flirting expecting me to dump guys for you. Dumping guys or not dumping them is your business. My business is dumping you if you don't, or stepping in if they get aggressive."

Passive-agressive mode activated. I won't do this if you do this and vice versa. You put yourself in a powerless position.

Holding such a conversation is pointless. If you are going to talk to her , do it like a man. "I don't tolerate you doing this or that."

The more you speak , the less she listens.

[–]quicklogaccount1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am acutely aware of that. But then, there is this.

She won't like this, you'll be holding her accountable, but very few women are nearly good enough for it to be worth the hassle of leading a RP relationship. For most women, either they make the relationship easier, or gtfo.
(My current take on the issue is, if she's not good enough for an RP relationship, she's not good enough for any relationship. Even if it starts easy, eventually I'll be doing heavy lifting all the same, so I rather collect heavy benefits.)

She wants him to mate guard because she's looking into changing the power balance. She wants to know she has options and that at the same time he can't afford to lose her. She wants him to REACT to her options.
If he wants that fixed the right way, he'll get himself a couple flirty slutty friends. Ideally, the kind that talks to some men about her latest adventures when fueled by alcohol, and he won't ever mention the issue.
The problem is, very few women are worth going through that sort of hassle. His girlfriend certainly isn't one of them.

Passive-agressive mode activated. I won't do this if you do this and vice versa. You put yourself in a powerless position.

There's a strong difference between passive aggressiveness and being non reactive.
Passive aggressive is striving to inflict harm, punish, by intensely expressing disapproval or pain. This only works if the person needs your validation or approval, strong bonds. And it has a knack for causing people to sever bonds.
You should strive for being non reactive. Being non reactive is a long known behavior of valuable men, men with options.

That put, I suggested him to give her an ultimatum, which is ultimately reacting, but never to negotiate. I didn't even mention that he was meant to say that he would be dumping girls as well.
Ultimatums aren't great in the sense that they are reacting. But if you can enforce them, they solve the issue, one way or another.

What I've suggested him to do is laying the ultimatum in the least reactive fashion I could phrase. To tell her how he expects her to behave.

"I don't tolerate you doing this or that." is precisely the same ultimatum, but it is as reactive as it can possibly be. With the added issue of sounding controlling, which is food for the hamster.

[–]GeorgeWallace1968-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Set up a situation where you slam her at her place, play her out for anal then afterwords, get up and say you're going to the bathroom to clean up but actually sneak out the bathroom window and go hard no contact, delete and block on all social media



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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