My ex-wife has gone off the deep end as a result of my transformation. Has this broken her monkey-branching calculations? Are there any resources for this? I can't seem to find any other examples of this question being asked.

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July 20, 2018

I was an overweight, head shaved bald, completely betafied husband that dressed like Ned Flanders before my divorce. She had an affair with a guy that was more masculine but severely overweight.

A few years after taking the red pill, lifting for the past 3 years, growing my hair and beard out, dressing in a more attractive masculine manner...and I am 195lbs with quite a bit more muscle than I had when she left.

As I progressed through this, she increasingly became bitter and vengeful. She has seen me with women half my age, meanwhile she has put on 50lbs. She is using every passive aggressive tactic to push my buttons (doesn't work) and to manipulate our kids (works on one but not the other).

Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do? Are there posts that deal with this that I couldn't find?

Post Information
Title My ex-wife has gone off the deep end as a result of my transformation. Has this broken her monkey-branching calculations? Are there any resources for this? I can't seem to find any other examples of this question being asked.
Author I_Tow_My_Own_Line
Upvotes 77
Comments 31
Date 20 July 2018 06:54 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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liftthe red pill

[–]justtenofusinhere104 points105 points  (1 child) | Copy

100% it's because you flipped the script on her.

Remember, she won't do anything she can't hamster first. That includes leaving you. In her mind, you were no good and were absolutely holder her back while she was holding you up.

The proof that when seperated you took off and got things together while she floundered blasts her hamster. She was the dead weight hitching a ride on your back.

[–]ticklethegooch112 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your words sound like a symphony

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is very typical behavior among people with crabs in a bucket mentality.

Often times, when you start to change yourself for the better, insecure people who have known you for a while will start to try and put you down. They don't like the idea that you are different from what they are used to and want bring you to their level. This includes exes. There is an added on effect with her because she was probably hoping you would come back crying to her and begging for her back like a little bitch.

Ignore it and keep doing what you're doing.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, and before you start to change yourself they always like to remind you of the thing you need to change.

[–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord51 points52 points  (2 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]salinorum43 points44 points  (1 child) | Copy

The paradox is this - OP, would you have made these changes if it wasn't for the split?

Perfect example of why you should put your needs & interests first, even if you're in a relationship

[–]ticklethegooch11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard to do when your Beta clinges on your food once in a while... but I read here once, that this will always happen once in a while: Beta comes back and fucks up your relationships, you will get over that episode and proceed your TRP journey. Don't sweat over small setbacks.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Enjoy your life, and let her be miserable.

Sorry about the one kid that goes along with being gaslighted.

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

You even making this post is a step in the wrong direction psychologically. Treat her as you would a masterbating homeless man in an NYC subway.

The more you pay attention the more he wins.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is beautiful. She thought you were the one holding her back so she cheated and justified it, but then once free of her you got your manhood back and bettered yourself proving she was the dead weight in the relationship. Ugly truths suck and she can’t escape this one.

Now don’t be a faggot and forget to keep putting yourself first. Keep it up. Proud of you.

[–]HB323412 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know your relationship history or relative SMVs while dating, but I can almost guarantee I know what she's thinking regardless of its basis in truth.

In her mind, she gave her best and most beautiful years to a man that rewarded her by dressing badly and getting fat. She loves her kids but they changed her body in permanent ways. Now, after all her years of bearing with the loser he became, he gets his shit together AFTER the split. She is hurt and upset and feels robbed that she never got this best version of you, despite that you got the best she was ever going to be.

Not your problem any more, though.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

despite that you got the best she was ever going to be.

A fucking adulterous whore?

[–]_the_shape_8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are witnessing a scorned woman, and you know what they say about 'em..

Girls can be vicious like this, especially when what they consider to be their 'turf' gets threatened. After parting ways with an ex of mine, she'd shamelessly tear down potential prospects to my face ("are you fucking serious? You're hooking up with that nasty-ass slut? So you don't care about STDs now? What the fuck is wrong with you???") The one after that, she

Your ex-wife right now is like the guy pinned to the floor, getting pummeled left and right, but desperately trying to catch a fist in hopes of biting it, trying to get something, anything, hopelessly trying to fight back through a royal beatdown.

Your best defense is to keep your cool at all times. Think of losing your cool like putting your hands down, exposing your face to a wild haymaker headed straight for your jaw. Deal with her in a 'business-only' (meaning, your kids of course) sense. Be polite, but brief. This is someone you have to work side-by-side with, unfortunately, but all that really matters is that you get the job done (continuing to raise the family in as stable a household as possible).

Document as much as you can, as detailed as possible, out of her view (because you simply never know...).

All the best.

[–]InscrutablePUA4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Might want to check married red pill for more answers

[–]AwkwardEmpath4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Really shitty thing to manipulate your kids just because of your petty feelings. Glad you left that woman and I hope your other kid sees through her emotional bullshit soon.

[–]zboo1h2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Live your new and improved life. Raise your children and mentor them. Build your career and your power. Keep lifting and sculpting your body.

Roasties gonna roast. You just stay in your lane and let her continue to age while you put that shit on hold.

[–]just_be_a_human2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Your wife doesn't despise you because you look good (lol). Your wife despises you because you're a toxic, poisonous person she's forced to share her children with, and she's trying to make sure as little poison as possible rub off on said children. She regrets ever having met you and chosen you as a life partner.

Also, being overweight and out of a toxic relationship is preferable to being thin in a toxic relationship. Good for her for having split with you.

[–]I_Tow_My_Own_Line 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

The woman from datingover30 mad as hell about life after hitting the WALL...HARD

[–]just_be_a_human1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Ahh, so women "hit the wall" after they've turned 30? You sound like a PRIZE.

[–]I_Tow_My_Own_Line 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

lol yes...they do. Then they get all bitter and butt hurt like you. It honestly is a sad sight. You're subject to the limitations of your own perspective and fail to realize it. Your negative emotions will only get worse from here on out sadly. May as well let out your inner fat girl completely, if you haven't already.

[–]just_be_a_human0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Oh, sweetheart. I'm afraid you're projecting your sadness.

[–]I_Tow_My_Own_Line 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Truth hurts. Listen to the bitterness pouring out of you right now. What man in his right mind wants to hitch himself to that? None. Younger women aren't bitter like that yet because they have lower mileage. Don't be mad at me that you wasted your youth giving yourself away for free only to end up single and past your expiration date. One need only look at your post history to see who is projecting. Don't worry...there are low value men out there willing to dick down even you.

[–]just_be_a_human2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Believe it or not, I'm a lot nicer to men who don't hate women. You can go fuck yourself, because you're a shit human being. In fact, people like you make me question any bit of spirituality I had left, because you were a mistake. It's got nothing to do with me being "30 and bitter." You're disgusting and sad - inside and out. Good luck to you.

[–]octa44-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Both of you come off as complete caricatures of reddit stereotypes.

[–]chaseexcellence1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats buddy. This is one of the better post i have seen. The best revenge is to improve your looks, money, and status. Keep up the good work. The chances that your ex wife will keep gaining weight are great. Just keep your bodyfat low and in increase muscles. I am proud of you. You increased your SMV while your wifes SMV has dropped.

[–]TheStumblingWolf1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

If she left why is she still in your life?

[–]I_Tow_My_Own_Line 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

We have two kids, joint we have to see each other once a week for dropoff.

[–]omega_dawg9311 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

make it 10000% just about the kids, dude. she may want to make it more than that by saying false things... because the better you do, the more she will hate on you.

just keep making positive gains physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. take care of your kids... but with her, just "let the clock run out... take a knee... silence... all business, nothing personal."

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Basically, be undeniably good so your kids cannot possibly believe the lies. As they get older and see that mommy is fat and bitter and daddy is fit and kind and never tells his kids how bad mommy is, they will know what was really up. Sorry that it's hard in the mean time, but just focus on being the best person and especially the best dad you can possibly be.

[–]omega_dawg935 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

that is the only way. you give her any ammo, and she will use the courts to fuck you raw.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can't find resources for this? It's all over the sidebar and married redpill is a whole subreddit where exactly this kind of shit is described all the time.

But in short you have to think of this from the standpoint of female solipsism. From her perspective, probably beneath any conscious thought so there is no reasoning with it, you "tricked" her into getting off the gravy train just before it rolled into the station to candyland. This is one of the biggest issues with divorces with kids, because you can't just cut sling load and never talk. You have to see the aftermath, and to the female mind you were supposed to be destroyed. Every positive move is a middle finger straight to her face.

My only advice is to ignore it as best you can and allow no behavior that violates your standards toward stuff that still matters, like your kids. Because any attempt to communicate is an appeal to reality, you can't communicate without some mutual understanding of what is, and she is fucking crazy. All you can do is selectively apply reality where possible totally disconnected from what her reasons might be. Example, "I don't care why you think you can but I hear about you subverting my kid's opinion of me again and the next day I'll have them all in therapy so it's documented by a 3rd party and you'll be talking to a lawyer."

The idea is you don't give a fuck or meddle in ANYTHING to do with her, but some very basic rules are as immutable as gravity, like your kids. Everything else about her is now irrelevant.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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