I have an older sister whom is the worst female I know. She needs to lose over 100lbs for a surgery for a hernia in her stomach. The doctors have told her this over and over and it's been like this for like 4 years.

She is my full blooded sister so I feel love and care for her. I've paid for her gym membership for like 2 years, I often get upset and tell her to go to the gym or to get on the treadmill (yes, she has the gym a mile away and a treadmill inside the house). I always softly shame and feel really disappointed when I see her eating fast food or getting another serving of dinner.

She has zero motivation and zero discipline. She has a daughter who is in elementary school, and even when I try to have a sincere talk with her and tell her that her health is at risk and she could leave her daughter with no mother or father (her dad is almost never around), she just says, "I know I have to" or "yeah I'm gonna start on Monday".

All she does all day is watch TV or is on social media on her phone. The only skill she's good at is makeup. Her excuse for not working is her hernia but she does nothing about it except eat more and gain more weight.

This breaks my hurt guys. Whenever I see her just sitting on the couch on her phone when I get home tired from work and still prep my meals for the next day, I feel sad, angry, and depressed.

I also feel bad for my younger sister and my niece, who have to see my older sister as an example.

My main question is, how do I go about my day dealing with this. I'm so upset and disappointed in her that I often just avoid her.

I've tried just letting her mess up her life and just treat her like a normal sibling but I think about her daughter and what more I could do to push her but I've pretty much tried everything. I even bought her a pre-workout for her birthday (she wanted makeup), but she hasn't used it.

I also wonder how terrible I will feel at her funeral (if this keeps going on) thinking and eating myself up about maybe I could've done more and been even more strict on her or maybe been more caring, but I just don't know what to do anymore.