My GF disrespects me like crazy

Redteen224 · 2017-05-03T04:34:57+00:00

There is no reason for you to be seeing her, nor speaking to her. The 'why' doesn't matter.

nummas · 2017-05-03T05:40:04+00:00

Tell her it's no longer working and it's over, then walk away. Do not explain why and ignore any further contact she tries to make. Block all social media and her number. Make sure you have everything you want back off her beforehand so neither of you have an excuse to make contact. Why torture yourself with this woman. Get on with your life.

BPasFuck · 2017-05-03T05:49:16+00:00

This woman sounds like she's bi-polar or bpd (which is worse), and trickle truthing you. "I just have depression."

You can:

1) Stay, and watch things continue to get worse.

2) Stay and try to fix her. (You won't be able to)

3) Get the fuck out.

I promise you-- a bi-polar like this is a vortex of suck and drama.
You stay with this woman, you will one day wake up, filled with regrets over all the things you've set aside, and missed opportunities because of her.

I'm not talking about regrets over other women you could've been with. I'm talking about life-changing events here. Bi-polars have a tendency to get involved with the law. Whether it's cops, or lawsuits, you don't want either in your life. But she'll bring 'em to you any way.

At best, she'll just set you back a ton of money and time.

Yay.

I promise you, friendo-- you want to get the fuck out, as cleanly and as finally as you can. She will do her best not to allow this.

She will put on her best behavior. She will try to manipulate you with tears, and cursing when and if the tears fail. She will tell you friends and families every harmful thing she can think of-- including any thing you may've spoken of in confidence.

She will also tell them things that she may've said herself, and claim that the words were yours.

It will be a jihad on you.

Sounds horrible, I know, but trust me-- in the long run, it will be much better than staying.

Good luck.

edited to add: "She's was so fucking sweet the first 3 months and I want that back in her."

You have got to realize-- that statement and ones like it, are common fodder for anyone in any abusive relationship. "The good times make the bad worth it!" Keep telling yourself that. The more you endure the bullshit, the more rare the good times will become. They aren't real. That sweet person is a facade, a projection of how she wants to see her self, and be seen by others.

It isn't sustainable. And, subconsciously, the fact you believe it's true, is part of what makes her treat you more and more like shit. In her mind, she knows she's not that great-- but here you are, a dumbass, believing it! "This motherfucker-- I got him now."

I know-- the oneitis is real. BPD's are very skilled at triggering it in their victims. That's what you are, by the way. A victim here. She's gone out of her way, to hook you like a fish, so she can now beat you like a pinata. Don't just take my word for it-- google 'Borderline Personality Disorder," and read the shit. If you can't see the path you're on, after this and doing that-- then you haven't hit the rock bottom with this woman yet.

failingtheturingtest · 2017-05-03T06:13:52+00:00

How the hell are you still in this relationship? What have you got against yourself that you would put yourself through this? If this was your best mate, and you had the choice for him to stay with her, or leave, which would you choose for him. DO THAT!

MisterOrigon · 2017-05-03T07:01:15+00:00

Honestly, people with depression are broken. That's a harsh way to say the truth, but it is what it is. My first girlfriend had clinical depression - and while, like yours, she was an absolute dream for the first 5 months, she started self-sabotaging the relationship.

Abandon ship, man. It isn't your fault at all - you deserve to be happy, and she can't help that she's trying to make you miserable.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-05-03T19:26:58+00:00

A ring on her finger would make her feel a lot better. You should propose.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-05-03T19:27:34+00:00

A ring on her finger would make her feel a lot better. You should propose.

quicklogaccount · 2017-05-03T11:11:17+00:00

mmmm. At least you know what you're handling there.

It's rare for women to have empathy for men, but depressed people are borderline incapable of it. They're depressed, how can they relate to something else?
Make no mistake, she is abusive and selfish as fuck;
She is undermining your self confidence. This isn't regular crap, this is advanced manipulation to prevent you from leaving. The "you're shit, I'm great, but I'm here for you" is characteristic;
She will not leave you, she needs you. She will not let you go.

All in all, she's the worst case scenario of the post wall woman. It's not the rule but there are plenty of those around, unfortunately. It is as you said, she was sweet but once she saw a chance of getting the whole package she wanted she changes and spares no efforts nor strategies. She think she's right, you belong together (you belong at her side) and the ends justify the means.

I won't lie. You can make things good again with her, but you'll do it by being emotionally manipulative yourself. You'll need threaten her with breaking up, you'll overtly say a girl she envies is sweet and dedicate and reminds you of her when things were good between you, that sort of crap.

The "good" thing for you to do there is hitting the quits, but stick this in your head. You don't have oneitis, those sweet three months are gone and you know it. She has you insecure and on scarcity.
Hit the gym, start talking to other women, start flirting. Go online and open women if you must. If you feel you need to, cheat (it's totally cool to cheat on an abusive partner to build enough confidence to leave, but don't ever tell anyone about it). After that, break up civilly.

This whole thing reminds me so much of my ex that I might be failing to see clearly to be honest. Sweet, depression, a tonne of weight, "how do I make the sweet beginning come back", treating poorly, lashing out, "mature relationships are like this, I know, you don't", even the "you already asked me that" bit.
Honestly, I'm yet to see a guy that fixes a relationship like that (I did, she tried her best and was as sweet as she ever was in the end) and feels like it was worth it. The process to fix it requires you to actually stop caring and giving a shit - fall out of love -. Once you do, you won't be able to fall back in love, ever again, you'll probably resent her to prevent it. At this point she might be compliant, caring and sweet as fuck, but she's just a pussy in a universe full of those.
Maybe if there are children or other external issues involved it might work.

Occams_Stubble · 2017-05-03T13:01:42+00:00

but the last 2 have been hell

but the last 2 have been hell

but the last 2 have been hell

What more do you need to know?

RPShitlord · 2017-05-03T14:13:58+00:00

You buried in the middle of the story the fact that she's over the wall at 34 AND fat. Too much shit to tolerate from an oldie fatty. Dump her.

Title	My GF disrespects me like crazy
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	17
Date	May 3, 2017 4:26 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/68y7qa/my_gf_disrespects_me_like_crazy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/my-gf-disrespects-me-like-crazy.90528 https://theredarchive.com/post/90528