I am a wealthy man who got divorced. I managed to avoid divorce rape. This is my story.

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June 8, 2017
166 upvotes

This post will hopefully show men considering marriage how to avoid massive asset losses in the event of a divorce. I have always been a very shrewd man when it comes to my finances. Not so much when it comes to my romantic relationships, but I'm working on that now.

My story starts in the mid 90's. I had recently finished my surgical residency and moved out to a state with a severe doctor shortage. I was pulling down well into seven figures annually. However, I myself was working for this money and I always believed that having others working for you is the way to generate true wealth. So I began to open various hotel franchises, restaurant franchises, apartment buildings, etc. I was always concerned about a law suit because well doctors get sued a lot and I did not want to lose money to that, so I began researching into asset protection. The best way to protect one's assets is through an irrevocable trust. This is a trust where you are the beneficiary of all the assets within, meaning you do not own them and creditors cannot take them, but you can still access them. Unfortunately, in most states one cannot setup an irrevocable trust for himself. Nevada, however is an exception to this you can establish a "spendthrift trust" which is essentially an irrevocable trust without being called one. So I converted my franchises and properties into company stock and then moved these stocks into an account in a trust in Nevada.

Now, its the early 2000's about and my company is making slightly more than my salary as physician. So I quit working as a doctor and move full time to manage my company. At this point I was 39 years old and I began to think about marriage. So I began to date seriously. At the time, I had court side tickets to the NBA team in my city so I ended asking out one of the team cheerleaders. She's a total 10/10 bombshell. I thought I was very lucky at the time as she was the most beautiful woman I had ever been with. In retrospect, she was clearly a slut and I beta bucks. She gave birth to our first child 2003 and we got married in 2003 before she gave birth. However, before our wedding and before even setting the date I had seen my parents divorce, my brother get divorced, and several friends so I was wary. I consulted a an attorney and we drew up a prenup. At this time I was already very wealthy especially after investing prudently after the dotcom bubble popped. I had a net worth in the mid 8 figures and profits were well into the seven figures, most of it was already protected in my Nevada trust. The prenup stipulated that she would get $250,000 for every child and $100,000 for each year of marriage she was only making 30K a year so I was being generous. The prenup was signed before we even set the date and we both has separate representation. Also, the signing was videotaped with a retired judge mediating so it was clear there was no coercion. My paranoia ended up paying off later on.

Fast forward several years, it is 2009 and we have one more kid born in 2004. Our sex life has tapered off quite a bit. It is not nearly deadbedroom, but it is only duty sex twice a month. She often would use sex to manipulate me. I had become quite depressed. I had put on a lot of weight due stress. I had lost about half my net worth in the recession and to see all that vanish after years of work was awful. To compound this I find out that my wife has been cheating on me guy. I believe his kids were several years older than mine at the school they went to. I thought about what to do. My girls were my mine concern and I didn't want to risk losing them at such a young age. I was also worried about confronting my wife. I was angry at my wife, the world, her affair partner. I had done everything I was supposed to do and I was losing a lot of money and my wife was cheating on me. I have always been a vindictive SOB so I plotted my way out of the situation. Most of my anger was directed to the dude. Suprisingly, he worked at the time at a company that supplied a lot of the stuff to hotels. I called the company up and they fired him. Keep in mind this was during the midst of the recession. The guy lost his job, got divorced, lost kids, and from what I know now lives in a shitty apartment. It was shitty what I did, but I don't regret it. As far as I know my wife didn't cheat on me after things ended with the other man. This was a wake up call for me. I started to spend a lot more time with my girls and my relationship with my wife actually improved. However, I knew that long term I could not stay with someone who had cheated on me. So I began to prepare myself financially and emotionally for the divorce. Our house was very expensive and we had joint ownership over it so I was afraid of losing it in a divorce. So I took out two mortgages on it and began to put as many of our expenses as possible into credit card debt. My businesses had returned to profitability. I could have taken a much larger salary than I did. However, I kept it artificially low so that when I filed for divorce possible child support would be calculated from a lower income.

Fast forward to 2015. My girls are a bit older and I've been spending a lot more time with them and have been really enjoying it which actually surprised me. My wife and I now only have sex once a month and whenever I don't do what I want she just gets horrible and nasty, worst things I've ever heard. Men who've been in a bad marriage I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So I finally file for divorce. As I expected she would do my wife tries to challenge the prenup and go for half my stuff. By this time my net worth had fully recovered so she would have gotten just a massive payout. Luckily, the prenup was pretty solid. And I also had a little bit of leverage. The debt which was considered both of ours that was accumulated. Our lawyers negotiated that she wouldn't challenge the prenup as long as I get all of the debt. I could wipe it out in a year if I wanted to so I readily agreed. So in exchange for the 12/13 years of marriage she got $1,300,000 plus $500,000 for our two girls this ended up being around 3% of my net worth. Due to all the time I spent with my girls we ended up getting 50/50 custody no child support.

Fast forward to today. I end up having my girls most of the time as their mother is off slutting/partying around. I think she felt she ended her youth to early. Our daughters have lost respect for her, which in truth does hurt because I will always feel something for their mother. Luckily though, I have a long term girlfriend who sets a fine example for my daughters. After my divorce I started lifting and I am truly the captain now so to say. I anticipate having to pay my wife in the future though to stay until my girls are 18 because she has almost already gone through the settlement from what I have heard.

Takeaways:

-Spend A LOT of time with your kids

  1. You'll love it
  2. It'll help you in custody battles -Obviously get a prenup
  3. Have it signed before the date is set
  4. Separate lawyers
  5. Signing is videotaped with a mediator present -Use trusts to protect yourself-If you have a friend or brother your trust a lot you can both setup irrevocable trusts for each other -Don't be a beta bucks. I was out of shape for much of the time and was not physically attractive to women. A good standard I now have is would childhood me look up to who I am now or want me as a dad?

Good luck men, any questions I'll do my best to answer


Post Information
Title I am a wealthy man who got divorced. I managed to avoid divorce rape. This is my story.
Author liftpraylove
Upvotes 166
Comments 59
Date 08 June 2017 04:48 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/92274
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6fytx3/i_am_a_wealthy_man_who_got_divorced_i_managed_to/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alpha fux beta buxbetadivorce rapecheatinglift
Comments

[–]Borsao6641 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good story and exactly as I'd have played the asset protection portion.

I was fortunate enough to learn about trusts when I was 24yo and since then I use them for EVERYTHING. I don't own a thing in my name. And plus once you know how to write them and have a trusted circle to be your grantors, they're easy as hell.

[–]liftpraylove[S] 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Very smart, though I would recommend having a lawyer who specializes in trust law draw it up. No use in being penny wise and pound foolish.

[–]Borsao661 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The original ones all were. But honestly, my state makes them very straightforward so I churn them out like toilet paper now.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

This really belongs on the main sub. Good almost-cautionary tale.

[–]liftpraylove[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, I tried but this is my first Reddit account so I don't have enough points.

[–]LordThunderbolt21 points22 points  (14 children) | Copy

Why were u so damn generous with the prenup?

[–]liftpraylove[S] 63 points64 points  (2 children) | Copy

If it is too one sided it can be thrown out for being "unconscionable". I wanted to minimize its likelihood of being challenged or being tossed by an activist judge.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women are supposedly equal and independent yet it can be 'unconscionable' to convince her to sign such a 'unconscionable' contract. Rigged. In addition, she cheated and still got 1.5 million which is bullshit. No fault divorce made marriage worthless because it still upholds the burdens of the man while rewarding the woman as if you left without cause.

You're obviously a smart guy, but you applied your intelligence to a rigged game. The best slave is still a slave. The fact that you had to be 'strategic' and be careful around a mere female as a multi-millionaire real-estate surgeon is all you need to know about marriage.

[–]Unver5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

tfw you think OP's decision is beta but it's levels ahead in alphaness

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (9 children) | Copy

1: Many states have 'equitable' standards for divorce proceedings. Even the most air tight prenup can't contest this either; if she's been out of the labor force for over a decade she's entitled to something like her quality of life she's enjoyed during it.

2: A prenup that is deemed too aggressive gets thrown out, and it looks bad for you.

[–]Westernhagen10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy

she's entitled to something like her quality of life she's enjoyed during it.

Which is of course total bullshit, but it's the law oh well.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty much. Of course he'd be entitled to get his dick sucked, his meals cooked, plus some light house keeping and laundry, but tough noogs.

[–]redaftrp0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

That's why you live conservatively and then she can't say shit.

[–]Westernhagen2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Alas, living conservatively, while a good idea, means that your current spending is voluntarily constrained. Her "standard of living" post divorce will not be determined by your current spending levels, but by your current income - which she is free to spend or not spend as she wishes after the divorce.

[–]redaftrp5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

If your current income is limited voluntarily by the trust to say, $100k a year, wouldn't that significantly reduce her claim in court?

[–]liftpraylove[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes it would.

[–]Westernhagen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That might apply to the OP, but I was speaking generally, for the average Joe who doesn't have a trust, just a salary.

[–]menial_optimist9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's kind of fucked up that a signed contract could be nulled for being "too unfair", considering our entire society is based on the concept of free contracting.

[–]I_AM_CALAMITY0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Does America still have a pulse?

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

She got 3% of his net worth dude. So for you that'd be all of the lint in your belly button.

[–]pilljourney7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

As someone with probably over 20k in debt, no savings, earning roughly 1000 a month without the education to get my foot in the door for a real job with real benefits, I'm happy for you. I'm gonna keep trying to improve my financial standing in life but man, sometimes it just looks so bleak. I really wish 17 year old me didn't go to a State school I couldn't afford only to drop out after a year specifically because I couldn't afford it.

[–]DiggerClam3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

You can learn everything you need for a high paying job through free UDEMY courses. Degrees don't mean shit these days.

[–]INTJokes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Could you elaborate/give examples?

[–]OmniaII points points [recovered] | Copy

Sadly degrees do mean shit. Because the asshole your interviewing with has a degree and figures s/he got one and so should you.

Oh, you're in my fraternity? I'll double hire you!

[–]DiggerClam0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Work for yourself then

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I will add that it helps to know what states are good and terrible to be married in.

Unless something has changed, as far as I am aware the most fair state in this regard is Nevada. States like Colorado- lifetime alimony for any marriage lasting more than 20 years, plus the 40/50 award- and New York- they don't have no-fault divorces which means you get to waste time (lawyers charge by the hour) convincing a judge that you should really-really-really be divorced- not so much.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I will add that it helps to know what states are good and terrible to be married in.

Good: zero

Terrible: All fifty.

Basically, community property states are the worst, as well as states where they have "common law" marriages. And Massachusetts. I randomly know that, evidently, in Connecticut, pre-nups, done correctly, are supposedly completely enforceable. Source: a guy I know who lived there, had one, and got divorced told me that. No idea otherwise.

Best thing to do: Don't get married, enjoy multiple, open LTRS, preferably with foreign-born women.

[–]HasCookies3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Could you give us a bit more information on how to set up trusts with banking - enough to push me in a direction? Do I just walk into the bank and go "how do I set up a trust?"

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

A. Not a bank, a lawyer.

B. You find a lawyer who specializes in trusts, not your friend's cousin Sal.

C. In addition to having "not getting fucked in the ass by your bitch ex-wife" properties, trusts are generally about tax avoidance (not tax evasion which would be a crime). So better if your lawyer also knows shit about taxes or is a CPA.

[–]HasCookies0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]liftpraylove[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

An attorney would set up the trust. Just google, "trust/asset protection attorneys near me"

[–]HasCookies0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]RedWinter884 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good story but I don't really think this has anything to do with avoiding divorce rape...

The only reason you "avoided" divorce rape is because you are super duper rich.... she still got a $1.8 million dollar pay out; which is pretty great if she was making 30-40k a year for 10 years.

[–]Sadpanda59612 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yea... lawyer here. This story is completely laughable bullshit of someone who has no idea of how the law works. Trusts are useful in very specific circumstances, they aren't some magical device that suddenly hides your money. Also... he would have had insurance as a doctor.

You really think you can spend ten minutes creating a magical trust with all your assets? How the hell would that work. You could take out half a million in unsecured loans, put the cash in a the magitrust and tell the creditors to fuck off??

[–]liftpraylove[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I took out a mortgage against our house and spent that money on our living expenses. Obviously, it couldn't be placed in a trust because that would be considered fraud. Once you're already married you really cannot secure your assets well with trusts they must be created pre marriage.

[–]Frdl12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of my anger was directed to the dude. Suprisingly, he worked at the time at a company that supplied a lot of the stuff to hotels. I called the company up and they fired him. Keep in mind this was during the midst of the recession. The guy lost his job, got divorced, lost kids, and from what I know now lives in a shitty apartment.

This reads like such a bullshit revenge fantasy and it should because it is.

[–]TalkingToMyselff1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

And he took an NBA cheerleader to her own game? Lmao

[–]DiggerClam7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You moron, he had a season pass and he asked out a cheerleader while he was watching a game.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

interesting, i don't know dick about this stuff but i do hate when people write fiction on any of the TRP subs. do you specifically have knowledge/experience with these 'spendthrift trusts'?

[–]Cookiest2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Can you talk about your experience with the spendthrift trust a little. I haven't heard of it. The wiki makes it sound like alimony and child support can pierce the veil.

[(https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spendthrift_trust)]

[–]liftpraylove[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

It has to be created pre marriage and after its creation it can still be attacked for two years. After that it is safe. Nevada is the state for this because it is the only place where you can set up an irrevocable trust for yourself.

[–]Cookiest0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awesome. Thanks!

[–]Planner_Hammish0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Can you add money or assets to it after it's been created?

[–]liftpraylove[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Legally, it is possible. However, you should NEVER do it as it contaminates the trust and all of it could potentially be up for grabs in a divorce.

[–]WikiTextBot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spendthrift trust

A spendthrift trust is a trust that is created for the benefit of a person (often unable to control his spending) that gives an independent trustee full authority to make decisions as to how the trust funds may be spent for the benefit of the beneficiary. Creditors of the beneficiary generally cannot reach the funds in the trust, and the funds are not actually under the control of the beneficiary.


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[–]iwillfuckuinurdreams1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great write up. Solidifies the concent that you should never marry; no matter what it ends like this so so likely that its just not worth it to go through this hassle.

I think you should've posted this on official redpill subreddit and not to asktrp, would've gotten more eye balls to see this story.

[–]Petewillz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should maybe think about doing an AMA - I think a lot of people could benefit from the lessons you've learnt on your road to success.

Also, Can I please come to murica and work with you

[–]smirk_addict1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

All great advice, but you did you really ruin some other dude's life because your manipulative ex-cheerleader wife couldn't keep her legs close? Faggot.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

fucking fake story

[–]RedKekistani0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Was it a lot of hard work to set up your company?

[–]DadOnDabs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Copy and paste this on the main sub. This is gold.

[–]meaningintragedy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the story.
I don't get how the trust helped you though. Can you explain?

[–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lets you have money in a trust and you are a beneficiary to that trust. You technically do not own that money, the trust does. So ex-spouses and creditors cannot get it in a lawsuit because you do not own the assets within. If you are the beneficiary you can still access them though.

[–]I_have_secrets0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Incredible. Absolutely legendary story. A lot of financial advise on Reddit is focused on US and I wish there were posts of this calibre referencing UK options.

[–]DiggerClam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the write up. AWALT.

Remember folks, these days prenuptial agreements only mean shit in SOME STATES IN THE US. In most countries, they don't mean FUCK ALL, even if they are supposedly legally binding.

[–]mksu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea because an almost 60 year old surgeon worth 60 million dollars is going to be posting on Reddit in asktrp.

lol

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You made so many intelligent decisions and strategic moves, can you explain to me why you still decided to get a legal marriage? Why not just do cohabitation as an LTR if you had to go through the hassle of a prenup and setting up a Spendthrift trust? It seems that's what you are doing now.

Was there anything of value besides the tax breaks, power of attorney, spousal privilege or inheritance schemes that made you go through with it? Or was is pressure from her side and you were too beta before TRP?

I'm really curious because even though I don't ever want a legal marriage, I might be tempted if I find a unicorn.

[–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Too beta before redpill, social programming, more stable home for the kids, it just seemed like something a man needs to do at the time. My trust usage was not designed to avoid divorce payments, but lawsuits or bankruptcy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Attention men: it's time to stop dating women JUST because she's hot and learn to like women for their personalities and hobbies.



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