Why do girls agree to dates if they’re just gonna flake?

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2018-09-13T13:31:38+00:00

You were merely an option. A better one came along.

rebuildingMyself · 2018-09-13T13:46:44+00:00

But it’s like these girls have no remorse.

They probably felt bad the first few times they disrespected a man's time, but (like pair bonding) their empathy slowly slipped away as more and more men lined up to take a shot at her golden pussy.

RedSkeller · 2018-09-13T14:55:39+00:00

Honestly most of them don't even know. It was raining, they weren't up to it, they had a bad day. Women tend to be more gravitating towards emotions (ever ask a girl what she wants for dinner? literally paralyzed by decision making), not to mention they have hundreds of options (better options or so they think) on swipe apps. It's a crap shoot but if they're online dating they're getting flaked on and stood up too.

[deleted] · 2018-09-13T14:59:07+00:00

In my experience, a lot of the time they’re just too nervous to say no up front. They would rather be agreeable and then get rid of the date later in the manner that requires the least confrontation. They also put no thought into how any future interactions will be tainted by this cloud they create. It’s childish but it is the way it is.

blister333 · 2018-09-13T13:49:46+00:00

If you had a date lined up with a 6 and then had the chance to bang an 8, what would you do?

No1Buck · 2018-09-13T14:02:41+00:00

Because they make multiple overlapping dates, then on the day of they go with the biggest Chad.

Peter_B_Long · 2018-09-13T17:08:23+00:00

A lot of the time it's for validation. They want to see how far you'll push to be able to see them. They want to be chased. Just next them and approach new girls.

danp64 · 2018-09-13T14:08:29+00:00

You can complain all you want but it’s not gonna change anything, I know how you feel it’s shit but you gotta adapt and deal with it

Original_Dankster · 2018-09-13T18:36:07+00:00

When she made the date, you were the best option. Then as time progressed, a better option presented itself. She didn't cancel with you because just in case that better option flaked on her, you were her Plan B. But that better option came through, and she flaked. Oh, and there's no reason to contact you to tell you, because she wants to avoid confrontation and from her perspective you should get the hint and fuck off to sulk in a corner.

Pretty simple, really.

lapeparoja · 2018-09-13T21:18:23+00:00

You think like a man. To understand this you have to think like a woman for a moment. I will give you only 5 reasons, but could give you 100, at the end, who cares, move on.

1) to get validation 2) to string you along and not flat out reject you 3) She meant it at the moment , but then when the moment came she didnt feel like it, fall asleep 4) Another hotter guy came along 5) she wanted to come but then dad/boyfriend/mom/friends invited her to another thing

metallica11 · 2018-09-13T15:01:06+00:00

1: options

2: they don't have a personal connection with you yet. you are just an item in a catalogue.

funny thing, you think they would learn. After getting pumped and dumped by the HAWT guys. however, now their new "threshold" is set and they no longer find men at their OWN DAMN LEVEL attractive.

attraction to men due to female hypergamy is indepedent of their own value.

omega_dawg93 · 2018-09-13T16:19:58+00:00

sometimes, women say, "yes," just to get you to STOP calling and/or asking... hoping you'd calm down.

the REAL tell is how you handle the "flake." if you persist AFTER she's flaked, she'll consider you even lower status. if you NEVER, EVER contact her again, that's better... bc first, she doesn't deserve your time, and second, she likely doesn't give a shit and is prolly dealing with a hard one.

[deleted] · 2018-09-13T14:25:39+00:00

Read pook

[deleted] · 2018-09-13T16:12:39+00:00

This is a common problem. Don't take it personal and just continue working on yourself. As your value increases this should happen less, but nothing stops it from happening. Most people are just not very good at managing life and thus flake on someone regularly, maybe they remembered and you weren't as important as the other people that were triple booked for that time slot.

Expect it till it doesn't happen with someone, never expect or assume it wont happen a few times with anyone and always be comfortable doing whatever you were going to do with them by yourself for the pleasure of the experience.

Kabuki431 · 2018-09-13T16:13:21+00:00

Always have 2 to 3 dates lined up for same day time. Better to options than disappointment.

okuli · 2018-09-13T22:47:40+00:00

Here's what I do to avoid flakes:

- setup a date 1-4 days in advance

- send a message a day before the date to confirm that we're still on

- send a message 30-60 minutes "leaving, see you soon, I'll be wearing blah"

I've never had flakes. The "worst" - they sent me a message in the morning that they can't do it today, and either reschedule or cancel it.

frankreyes · 2018-09-13T18:29:55+00:00

Because otherwise they'd have to take responsibility for their actions.

It also boosts their ego when some dude hits on her.

I know at least two girls, whom I banged many years ago, that like to silently make fun of beta Nice Guys.

The first one confessed me that when she was feeling down she'd go to the Facebook profile of a mutual friend, who is a great beta loser, to have some fun reading what he writes in his profile.
The second girl has an instagram profile where she posts conversations of Nice Guys hitting on girls, she was pushing me to be a follower.

jrr6415sun · 2018-09-13T21:43:48+00:00

From my experience Some girls have a hard time saying no so they say yes and then make up an excuse later.

[deleted] · 2018-09-14T13:27:31+00:00

Trying to figure this out is useless. Could be for a lot of reasons. Most of the time they're down for a date right at the time you ask them, not 3 or 4 days ahead when they probably already have lost interest. Especially if it's online.

That's why you need to set up multiple overlapping dates, pick the hottest one and flake the rest accordingly. Women have no respect for men's time, so why should we? Pathetic.

jfgw2 · 2018-09-13T15:11:32+00:00

Maybe post your text exchange?

wawakaka · 2018-09-13T21:42:43+00:00

they have nothing to lose...

kayfab · 2018-09-13T22:45:45+00:00

attention seeking whores that is why online dating is the worst

EdvardMunch · 2018-09-14T02:18:07+00:00

I dont like that better option came along thing, it doesnt mean it was another dude. I flake on dates a lot as a dude because when it comes down to it my drive when asking out was a number of reasons thats rarely super into it. Usually its "she could be a fun date/bang" and honestly im willing to bet thats most girls. Not a lot of them young ones are looking to settle, likely the settle comes from an alpha type not giving them what they want driving them nuts. Girls today at least like getting laid, having fun. Its not that hard, just chill out and be understanding.

If you're sensitive own it, amplify your own insecurities and women will melt. Don't pretend to be what your not, just confidently accept who you are with reason. Thats whats cool because like toughness or sensitivity, they are like changing fashions. The avoidance is the fear, thats the weakness.

punchyson · 2018-09-14T03:10:36+00:00

V A L I D A T I O N

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-09-13T14:29:12+00:00

Never had a flake but I’d guess you’re not interesting enough. If you’re meeting them online your text game probably sucks and you might want to get better pictures. If you meet them in person then you probably need to be more interesting or fun, do give out too much information about yourself (chicks need to discover that for themselves) and be more playful. She’s looking for fun.

Rosace_89 · 2018-09-13T14:31:53+00:00

maybe you come off as butthurt and needy?

when i feel like a girl is not very interested but keep responding for whatever reason, i playfully remind her that she can cancel anytime because it's part of the game of dating

Women don't see themselves and don't want to feel as a bad person, don't put them in any situation of this kind OP

NightwingTRP · 2018-09-13T15:32:29+00:00

Feelings.

Greek-God-Brody · 2018-09-13T16:15:10+00:00

Anything a woman agrees she does so because she believes that at that moment.

iLLprincipLeS · 2018-09-13T16:47:54+00:00

How long you wait before you invite them?

[deleted] · 2018-09-13T17:18:54+00:00

Hypergamy gives zero shits.

[deleted] · 2018-09-13T18:10:54+00:00

You should have other options as well. This doesn’t have to be girls it can be other things you enjoy doing l.

whuttupfoo · 2018-09-13T18:20:16+00:00

It’s because you’re talking about Tinder sluts. Get the fuck off Tinder and go meet some better women.

Zanford · 2018-09-14T02:27:13+00:00

In case HER better options flaked on her, you were a backup.

HeadingRed · 2018-09-14T11:40:42+00:00

A set-up date usually means she wasn't interested in you - she was interested in going out on a date. You happen to be there - and after accepting she then thinks about you.

Stop asking why - it happens. It happens more to you because you're not a top choice and\or she has a lot of options.

Also a set-up date usually means she wasn't interested in you - she was interested in going out on a date. You

Johnnyvile · 2018-09-15T04:07:30+00:00

It’s easy to ghost then there is no conflict that they have to deal with. This is why most jobs send a generic “thank you for trying” email if they don’t want to hire you.

turtlings · 2018-09-13T14:20:36+00:00

because they may have a certain amount of interest, until YOU give her a reason to decide to flake ie overneediness, being a beta bitch

Title	Why do girls agree to dates if they’re just gonna flake?
Author	redhotspicyjoe44
Upvotes	67
Comments	65
Date	September 13, 2018 1:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9fhzmq/why_do_girls_agree_to_dates_if_theyre_just_gonna/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-do-girls-agree-to-dates-if-theyre-just-gonna.928 https://theredarchive.com/post/928