I can't sleep properly with my girlfriend next to me.

captaintrippay · 2018-09-23T19:40:52+00:00

Dude this is an easy fix.. Be 100% honest and up front with her about it. Set your boundaries now and not later. If she respects you she’ll understand, and if she doesn’t, see ya!

Achilles_Of_Reddit · 2018-09-23T19:52:42+00:00

Be clear in what you want. Don’t be pissy about it because then she’ll think you’re mad about something other than the lack of sleep.

In any sort of confrontation, don’t be so passive like “Hey, if it’s alright with you... do you mind if like, I get a little more space throughout the night? Not a big deal but just asking.” Because then she is going to brush it aside, thinking it’s not a big deal.

At the same time, don’t go overboard like “Bitch, I swear to god if you take the blankets one more time, I will curb stomp your ass.” Because obviously that’s going to lead to more issues.

Just be upfront, clear, and firm. “Babe, I need to have a real moment with you for a few minutes. We need to address this issue about us sleeping together. This is what’s going on and it’s really bringing me down and having a negative effect on me. I need you to do this instead.”

This sort of thing is important to practice for workplace relationships too.

BiscottiGeneral · 2018-09-23T22:08:31+00:00

Bro I’m not here to give advice but just wanted to say I am dying laughing lmfao everything you said is hilarious

beginner_ · 2018-09-24T04:37:04+00:00

Tel her next evening what your expectations are at night and be direct and honest. If she doesn't follow the rules, next.

Also

get a second blanket
Don't watch TV in bed. That just fuels bad behavior. Bed is for sleeping only.

Yozki · 2018-09-24T00:44:08+00:00

I've used two sheets with my wife ever since we started dating. Also buy the biggest bed you can fit in your room.

Getting a king size has improved my life considerably

Musicgoon · 2018-09-23T23:36:24+00:00

Bro, im laughing because ive totally been there.. My plate wasn't overweight but would snore like a chainsaw....

She would come over and I would sleep on the couch..

My best suggestion. Is kick her out of bed if she pesters you. It's your bed. Dominate that shit.. I know how frustrating this can be... I was pissed from lack of sleep...

theadj123 · 2018-09-24T04:39:40+00:00

His and hers blankets, worth their weight in gold. Make sure you have a thin sheet or something so when she tries to cuddle and starts up her Fusion Reactor you don't roast under some heavy blanket or comforter.

TRPTosser · 2018-09-24T14:28:11+00:00

I've been through this exact situation with my LTR. I used to have a king-sized bed; one of the expensive Casper mattresses with the memory foam. I wouldn't feel a normal person moving around, but she managed to still wake me up.

I'm a light sleeper and have always hated sleeping in a bed with a girl. My sleep is bad enough, I'm going through problems at work and in my personal life and that's affected my sleep. My LTR has made a real effort in trying to make it work, so we talked about how we could fix it.

I ended up buying two beds; a queen and a double. I take the queen and that's where we usually fuck. After sex, she goes to her bed.

When she snores, I'll either put ear plugs in, or go to one of the kids' rooms depending how bad it is. I've noticed it's bad if she doesn't eat well (which, to be fair isn't that often) or if she works late.

It took us a while to come to this compromise. I wish I had asked it here, but figured it was something only I was going through. Good for you for working on it.

The only thing I'd say is that it's concerning that your gf is so clingy. Nip that shit in the bud.

Greek-God-Brody · 2018-09-24T06:31:25+00:00

Don't get a girlfriend who snores :).

For me, it's an attraction killer.

Fun2badult · 2018-09-24T01:24:48+00:00

Be a man and discuss it with her instead of going on Reddit and complaining like a bitch

Whisper · 2018-09-24T04:46:03+00:00

I think I will buy a dog colar so I can zap her when she pisses me off

Don't do this to help you sleep. Do this because it's kinky, and sexy, and she sounds like she's into that.

You need to set boundaries and make expectations clear. Remember that you are the boss, and she is not, and this is the natural dynamic of healthy relationships.

So you need to

Tell her exactly what is going on with being angry or defensive
Tell her exactly what the two of you are going to do about that. (I recommend "sleep in separate beds").
Ask her if she understands, and what, if any, problems this creates for her. Listen.
Explain that, while your instructions are not up for negotiation, you will address what she has to say in alternate ways. (If she wants a certain amount of cuddle time, okay, but it must happen during your waking hours.)
Be firm, but be calm. Do not complain. Do not argue. Do not be upset. Do not be apologetic. This is the way things will be.

Zanford · 2018-09-23T23:02:36+00:00

Be honest about it. Just tell her sleep is important, and so she either needs to do something (like look into cures for snoring, btw LOSING WEIGHT is a great one) or sleep in another room or at her place. Do you live together?

mugenowns · 2018-09-24T05:05:04+00:00

Buy and extra blanket.

When she's talking while you're trying to sleep put your hand over her mouth and ask if this discussion is time sensitive or if there is any way to have it the next day

Get a big bed with plenty of room. Use extra pillows to separate her.

Take naps during the day

Tell her that you two have different sleep patterns and that you both need to become accustomed to sleeping while the other is awake

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2018-09-24T06:31:23+00:00

Yep. This is a struggle in many new relationships when you first move in. Get a foldout bed in the living room or something, or an air mattress, in case you really just need to go to sleep . Or just get a bigger mattress so you can migrate a few feet if she's moving around. try getting earplugs.

Get a pedestal fan to keep cool.

Whatever it takes.

Calmly explain to your GF that you're a light sleeper and you need to sleep alone sometimes because: reasons. As long as you're fucking her good she won't complain too much.

BurnYourFlag · 2018-09-24T06:50:32+00:00

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂☝️☝️☝️☝️

[deleted] · 2018-09-24T08:21:17+00:00

Looool. This was hilarious man

Jokes aside, tell her straight up the issue. Talk to her dude.

MattyAnon · 2018-09-24T09:44:11+00:00

You need two beds, and she needs to understand the sleep thing or next. She sounds too selfish to live with.

BadBoyProgrammer · 2018-09-24T13:41:58+00:00

You are not alone.

I cannot sleep when someone is near me at all. Somehow breaks my "zen".

Blackedoutsky · 2018-09-24T13:45:51+00:00

ahahhahha have a bigger bed and push her away 😂😂😂😂. " i wake up 20 mins later and shes on the couch with me" 😂😂😂

[deleted] · 2018-09-24T17:04:32+00:00

Make her sleep on the floor.

marcus8crassus · 2018-09-24T01:44:50+00:00

“Sleep time”

The one phrase you need to say to shutdown all conversation. Once you’ve said those magic words, that’s it. Unless someone is literally dying do not break your word.

vandaalen · 2018-09-23T20:33:49+00:00

This is so easy.

"Sorry. You cannot sleep here anymore. You know why."

if she starts drama, soft next.

Title	I can't sleep properly with my girlfriend next to me.
Author	koedeloe
Upvotes	74
Comments	47
Date	23 September 2018 07:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/953
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9ib6a0/i_cant_sleep_properly_with_my_girlfriend_next_to/