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I can't sleep properly with my girlfriend next to me.

Reddit View
September 23, 2018
74 upvotes

brb waking up in the middle of the night pushed to the side of the bed
brb can't sleep because it's way too hot with her body on me
brb she starts snoaring/breathing loudly
brb waking up at 6am with only having slept for 1hour
brb hair in my face/mouth
brb she won't stop talking at fucking 2am

It's driving me crazy. I've told my girlfriend I need a good night rest, atleast 8 hours. We actually watched a movie in bed the whole night and cuddled meanwhile. Then I want to sleep and she keeps cuddling and it's too hot so I ask her to stop because I can't sleep. Then she asks if I'm mad?? wtf. Next thing that happens is that she won't stop talking, so I get a bit pissed off but don't show it, I just ask her to let me sleep.

Finally.. manage to fall asleep and she pulls whole the blanket, takes whole the bed, even if she is only 5'4. I figure the only way I'm getting some sleep is by sleeping on the couch in my room. Finally some good rest.. I wake up 20 min later and she is fucking sleeping with me on the couch???????

Honestly, this shit is driving me insane and I think I will buy a dog colar so I can zap her when she pisses me off in my sleep. How the fuck do I fix this? I love her and when she's around, but when she sleeps over I almost always wake up as a zombie. It's actually damaging my mood and gains if I don't sleep atleast 8 hours a day..


Post Information
Title I can't sleep properly with my girlfriend next to me.
Author koedeloe
Upvotes 74
Comments 47
Date 23 September 2018 07:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/953
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9ib6a0/i_cant_sleep_properly_with_my_girlfriend_next_to/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]captaintrippay112 points113 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dude this is an easy fix.. Be 100% honest and up front with her about it. Set your boundaries now and not later. If she respects you she’ll understand, and if she doesn’t, see ya!

[–]VolatileEnemy24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

And buy a motherfucking airconditioner...

[–]katothebird1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol yeah when you have a house together its not that easy

[–]Achilles_Of_Reddit55 points56 points  (4 children) | Copy

Be clear in what you want. Don’t be pissy about it because then she’ll think you’re mad about something other than the lack of sleep.

In any sort of confrontation, don’t be so passive like “Hey, if it’s alright with you... do you mind if like, I get a little more space throughout the night? Not a big deal but just asking.” Because then she is going to brush it aside, thinking it’s not a big deal.

At the same time, don’t go overboard like “Bitch, I swear to god if you take the blankets one more time, I will curb stomp your ass.” Because obviously that’s going to lead to more issues.

Just be upfront, clear, and firm. “Babe, I need to have a real moment with you for a few minutes. We need to address this issue about us sleeping together. This is what’s going on and it’s really bringing me down and having a negative effect on me. I need you to do this instead.”

This sort of thing is important to practice for workplace relationships too.

[–]griz3lda15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Agree, but footnote. If she followed you to the couch she is not a normal level of clingy/lonely, her cling/lonliness is strong enough that it interferes w her sleeping pattern too. Combined w repeatedly asking if you're mad, I'd take this as a very light indicator of possible bpd or similar, meaning you need (if you want peace, lol) to preface all these statements in reassurance and be double careful you don't sound like yr judging her.

[–]throwawaytrper 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Since when is clinginess bpd?

[–]griz3lda2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I said a very weak indicator (accidentally said "light", so, no wonder you didn't get it) as in a positive but weak correlation. Meaning don't sweat, but do a once-over and ask yrself is this a fluke or not.

[–]lazydogg92 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly this.

[–]BiscottiGeneral62 points63 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro I’m not here to give advice but just wanted to say I am dying laughing lmfao everything you said is hilarious

[–]QuintonRammedMyPage16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

I lost it when he wrote about buying a zap collar

[–]bigkids25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

The part where she follows him to the couch, that did it for me 😂

[–]VolatileEnemy6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I was laughing hard that he didn't own an airconditioner.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nice try but no

[–]beginner_8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Tel her next evening what your expectations are at night and be direct and honest. If she doesn't follow the rules, next.

Also

  • get a second blanket
  • Don't watch TV in bed. That just fuels bad behavior. Bed is for sleeping only.

[–]apskidb2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bed is for sleeping only.

And fucking.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And redditing

[–]Yozki8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've used two sheets with my wife ever since we started dating. Also buy the biggest bed you can fit in your room.

Getting a king size has improved my life considerably

[–]Musicgoon15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, im laughing because ive totally been there.. My plate wasn't overweight but would snore like a chainsaw....

She would come over and I would sleep on the couch..

My best suggestion. Is kick her out of bed if she pesters you. It's your bed. Dominate that shit.. I know how frustrating this can be... I was pissed from lack of sleep...

[–]theadj1235 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

His and hers blankets, worth their weight in gold. Make sure you have a thin sheet or something so when she tries to cuddle and starts up her Fusion Reactor you don't roast under some heavy blanket or comforter.

[–]griz3lda0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

amen

[–]TRPTosser2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been through this exact situation with my LTR. I used to have a king-sized bed; one of the expensive Casper mattresses with the memory foam. I wouldn't feel a normal person moving around, but she managed to still wake me up.

I'm a light sleeper and have always hated sleeping in a bed with a girl. My sleep is bad enough, I'm going through problems at work and in my personal life and that's affected my sleep. My LTR has made a real effort in trying to make it work, so we talked about how we could fix it.

I ended up buying two beds; a queen and a double. I take the queen and that's where we usually fuck. After sex, she goes to her bed.

When she snores, I'll either put ear plugs in, or go to one of the kids' rooms depending how bad it is. I've noticed it's bad if she doesn't eat well (which, to be fair isn't that often) or if she works late.

It took us a while to come to this compromise. I wish I had asked it here, but figured it was something only I was going through. Good for you for working on it.

The only thing I'd say is that it's concerning that your gf is so clingy. Nip that shit in the bud.

[–]Greek-God-Brody1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't get a girlfriend who snores :).

For me, it's an attraction killer.

[–]Fun2badult3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be a man and discuss it with her instead of going on Reddit and complaining like a bitch

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think I will buy a dog colar so I can zap her when she pisses me off

Don't do this to help you sleep. Do this because it's kinky, and sexy, and she sounds like she's into that.

You need to set boundaries and make expectations clear. Remember that you are the boss, and she is not, and this is the natural dynamic of healthy relationships.

So you need to

  • Tell her exactly what is going on with being angry or defensive
  • Tell her exactly what the two of you are going to do about that. (I recommend "sleep in separate beds").
  • Ask her if she understands, and what, if any, problems this creates for her. Listen.
  • Explain that, while your instructions are not up for negotiation, you will address what she has to say in alternate ways. (If she wants a certain amount of cuddle time, okay, but it must happen during your waking hours.)
  • Be firm, but be calm. Do not complain. Do not argue. Do not be upset. Do not be apologetic. This is the way things will be.

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be honest about it. Just tell her sleep is important, and so she either needs to do something (like look into cures for snoring, btw LOSING WEIGHT is a great one) or sleep in another room or at her place. Do you live together?

[–]mugenowns0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Buy and extra blanket.

When she's talking while you're trying to sleep put your hand over her mouth and ask if this discussion is time sensitive or if there is any way to have it the next day

Get a big bed with plenty of room. Use extra pillows to separate her.

Take naps during the day

Tell her that you two have different sleep patterns and that you both need to become accustomed to sleeping while the other is awake

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. This is a struggle in many new relationships when you first move in. Get a foldout bed in the living room or something, or an air mattress, in case you really just need to go to sleep . Or just get a bigger mattress so you can migrate a few feet if she's moving around. try getting earplugs.

Get a pedestal fan to keep cool.

Whatever it takes.

Calmly explain to your GF that you're a light sleeper and you need to sleep alone sometimes because: reasons. As long as you're fucking her good she won't complain too much.

[–]BurnYourFlag0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂☝️☝️☝️☝️

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looool. This was hilarious man

Jokes aside, tell her straight up the issue. Talk to her dude.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need two beds, and she needs to understand the sleep thing or next. She sounds too selfish to live with.

[–]BadBoyProgrammer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are not alone.

I cannot sleep when someone is near me at all. Somehow breaks my "zen".

[–]Blackedoutsky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

ahahhahha have a bigger bed and push her away 😂😂😂😂. " i wake up 20 mins later and shes on the couch with me" 😂😂😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make her sleep on the floor.

[–]marcus8crassus[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“Sleep time”

The one phrase you need to say to shutdown all conversation. Once you’ve said those magic words, that’s it. Unless someone is literally dying do not break your word.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen-4 points-3 points  (12 children) | Copy

This is so easy.

"Sorry. You cannot sleep here anymore. You know why."

if she starts drama, soft next.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (11 children) | Copy

Dude you take everything as life and next lol

Majority of this post is comedy and it’s not even a big deal - one convo will fix it. Chill tf out and work on becoming a more optimistic sort of human :D

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]Velvet_power 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Wow. Yea this is not an example of vetting. It’s not even required here. It’s an entertaining post about a guy that needs more sleep.

Stop taking shit so goddamn seriously. I mean c’mon!

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

And you clearly need to gain a sense of humor

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I thought OP was funny. As did a lot of people. Shame you didn’t.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are lots of people that enjoy big dogs because we have dig bick energy and enjoy the challenge. ;)

Others, like yourself feel threatened and prefer puppies. Each to their own

[–]CrazyHorseInvincible[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's a joke.

*Plonk*

Like it?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen-5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

XDXDXD

[–]DropDeadTyrant8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

you give no shits about anything. you're basically like "If this person isn't benefiting me, I don't need to talk to them".



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