wife is overwhelmingly attracted to another man and is in my face about it

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May 5, 2018
89 upvotes

My wife (36) and I (35) were at our neighbour’s last night when my wife started effusively praising the physique and attractiveness of a male acquaintance that we all know. She praised his physique and attractiveness while criticising his girlfriend’s physique and attractiveness on two separate occasions over the course of the evening. The second time she brought it up she must have praised him and announced her attraction for him for about ten minutes. I felt humiliated and disrespected. This was something that I had been clear about in the past; I don’t like when married women announce that other men make their pussies wet. I think it’s disrespectful to their husbands. This was something my wife and I had agreed upon. Although we are both human and may feel attraction for others, we won’t rub our attraction in the other’s face. I think it’s a sensible policy.

I suspected her of having an emotional affair with a friend of mine and fellow Afghan War veteran a couple years ago and was able to break it up between them by taking him for a beer and filling him in on how dedicated a father and husband I was. For some reason he just left her alone after that. Or, they got better at Op Sec. Now I suspect that she is smitten with a new fellow despite my best Married Red Pill efforts over the past four years. I swallowed the pill in 2012 and have read everything on the sidebar, some of it multiple times. I lift, dress well am attractive and have the respect of my co-workers and friends. My social calendar is always full and I have meaningful hobbies. I’m bilingual, have a Master’s degree and am very well employed with enormous potential for financial compensation as I age and come into my own in my chosen field. I get plenty of IOIs from other women, my age and younger (old broads too, obviously). Somehow my wife, and my wife alone, treats me with contempt and I am not sure on what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated.


Post Information
Title wife is overwhelmingly attracted to another man and is in my face about it
Author ArticulateSavage
Upvotes 89
Comments 168
Date 05 May 2018 05:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/96449
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8h93q0/wife_is_overwhelmingly_attracted_to_another_man/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
liftthe red pill
Comments

[–]Marino4K119 points120 points  (5 children) | Copy

What in the actual fuck?

Unless you guys are in a poly relationship, that is an absolute fuck that

[–]ArticulateSavage28 points29 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your response.

We are not in a poly relationship, that I know of. Are you suggesting that my anger is justified?

[–]Marino4K110 points111 points  (3 children) | Copy

Justified? My man, you need to be seriously reconsidering your marriage, TRP aside, that’s ridiculously disrespectful.

[–]ArticulateSavage19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thank you. I know what I have to do. I don't usually ask for advice from the Web. I was writing in my journal and decided to post here.

[–]Swoleygrowly29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

You seem like a well put together guy and that shit just isn’t acceptable, I suspect she will quickly regret her actions as soon as your foot is out the door. You can do much better for yourself my man.

[–]ArticulateSavage17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can do much better for yourself my man.

I know it. Fear has held me back for some time, not anymore.

[–]huge_gap168 points169 points  (12 children) | Copy

You need to shut that shit down immediately. The problem is you've been a pussy about it with your wife for years. Zero tolerance policy. She starts talking about shit like that just escalate. "You want to fuck him? let's go tell him right now." She'll be astonished. It's clear you've been her bitch for a while. Start respecting yourself and stop letting her walk all over you. You say you are a great catch, but it's clearly not enough for your wife (probably lost tingles because she knows you are her bitch and she can push your buttons with no punishment). Start treating her like a misbehaving child. If she keeps disrespecting you get a divorce. You can't negotiate desire. You cant mate guard a whore. There are women out there who will treat you like a fucking king. Go git it.

[–]ArticulateSavage74 points75 points  (11 children) | Copy

There are women out there who will treat you like a fucking king. Go git it.

I'm a prize and I know it.

It's clear you've been her bitch for a while.

That is the only reasonable explanation. I suspect you are correct.

[–]horacre49 points50 points  (10 children) | Copy

He is. Women will treat you only as bad as you let them. If you pussy out the first time she disrespects you, she'll do it again. A bitch needs to be put in her place the first instance she tries shit.

The right to keep a woman is to be dominant and run dread game.

[–]ArticulateSavage14 points15 points  (9 children) | Copy

I failed so badly at this so early in the relationship I don't see how I can ever come back from it. I don't think she will ever respect me.

[–]DiggerClam20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

She will respect you OUTSIDE of the marriage. Make that happen.

[–]Monkitail8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

what does this mean?

[–]Suave_Terry5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's telling him to get a divorce.

[–]ArticulateSavage3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you, will do.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her respecting you, you need to respect yourself. Read your fucking post, it's evident you're a high value man so you don't deserve this treatment. I hope you get to the right solution, man.

[–]Swoleygrowly6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

It happens, doesn’t mean you have to live with it tho. Move on and keep frame with the next one, and be treated like a king. Truthfully there probably is no regaining her respect so any more time spent trying is a waste and just damaging to urself which in turn is a beta move.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It happens, doesn’t mean you have to live with it tho.

I won't tolerate it anymore.

[–]KilluaKanmuru1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You'll grow so much. I'm excited for your happiness in the present and the future.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Divorce her. You don't need to leave her, but tell her you want a divorce, but if things work out, you guys can stay together. If she doesn't want a divorce, and you insist on getting one, but tell her you guys can stay together, you'll probably get a fair divorce, and when another line is crossed, leaving each other is as easy as just packing up.

[–]RedSkeller33 points34 points  (6 children) | Copy

You said it yourself, she was being disrespectful. I noticed you didn't mention how often you bang, although it really isn't our business, it does correlate to how she treats you - because right now you are the equivalent of her fat friend she keeps around for a self esteem boost. You need to get some dread going. The fact you took some other guy out to 'prevent' an affair is some real desperate shit and would not be in the playbook for someone who read the sidebar. You need to ramp up dread and get ready to cut out a disrespectful hag.

[–]ArticulateSavage10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

The fact you took some other guy out to 'prevent' an affair is some real desperate shit and would not be in the playbook for someone who read the sidebar.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for your response.

I admit my approach to affair busting (prevention?) was unconventional. This was actually a friend of mine and fellow veteran so take that for what it is worth.

[–]Blackedoutsky47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy

He isnt a friend of yours if he was going to have an affair with your wife.

[–]juliusstreicher1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It ain't worth shit. YOU were acting like a no balls faggot.

You and your wife were the problem; he was only the symptom.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

YOU were acting like a no balls faggot.

Agreed.

[–]ArticulateSavage5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I noticed you didn't mention how often you bang

I get it when I want it and how I want it. I've never been in a low sex relationship. I'm a prize and I know it. They only person on this earth who treats me poorly is my wife, whom I've treated as a queen. It's frustrating, but I think I know what I have to do.

[–]ECoast_Man50 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy

whom I've treated as a queen.

I suspect this might be your problem...

[–]throwitdownman35 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Once they cheat, they’ll repeat”

[–]ArticulateSavage8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got it.

[–]0x9A30D7C49714D9800017 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy

As scary as it sounds, I think it’s easier to divorce now than it will be after wasting another five or ten years trying to change her nature while sucking up this type of disrespect. Ask yourself honestly what she brings to the relationship and whether that makes it worth rolling the dice with this woman who sounds like she’s just a couple drinks away from openly cheating on you.

[–]ArticulateSavage20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

I bring exponentially more value to the marriage. The wall, and smoking for years, has not been kind. Not only is she a disrespectful wife, she smells like an ashtray too.

[–]henry58915 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well at least you won’t taste the other dudes cum in your mouth.

You fucked up. Divorce before you have kids and this becomes messier.

If you are still not sure, you have fallen to the sunken cost fallacy. You gotta look at this objectively as possible.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well at least you won’t taste the other dudes cum in your mouth.

Silver lining to every cloud. Excuse me while I go throw-up.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy

Read The 12 Levels of Dread. You've already gone through dread level 1-5. Time to start level 6.

[–]acidbath64644 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

^ this is your solution

[–]ArticulateSavage22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

The more I think on it the more I've come to believe that that effort would be better spent elsewhere

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey man I just want to commend you on your attitude. You came here with a question, the answer probably stung, but you accepted it as truth and are planning on acting on it. Fucking amazing in this day and age.

[–]ArticulateSavage3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, brother.

Honestly, I more humiliated than anything. I have to own the fact that it was a combination of naivete and arrogance that led me to believe in the security of my relationship.

the answer probably stung

It did.

you accepted it as truth and are planning on acting on it

I can't continue investing in this relationship.

[–]shogunWho16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

If I were you, I would walk away from that first thing tomorrow morning, no second thoughts. Someone who doesn't inherently respect her husband does not receive a second chance.

[–]ArticulateSavage26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

Going to make an appointment with the lawyer on Monday.

[–]glenthedog7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent, be sure to update cause she's gonna freak out. Youre doing the right thing. Record the convo when you tell her.. Not to share with us of course but just to be safe

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's time to start hiding assets and prepare for divorce.

[–]ArticulateSavage6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

agreed

[–]BeeBopJoe21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

You fucked up by lettiing her cheat and staying with her in the first place. Now she feels like its acceptable behavior for her to pursue other men. There is nothing you can do here, she has no respect for you. Sorry bro but you need to get a divorce, this relationship is far beyond repair.

[–]ArticulateSavage15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are correct. I don't think I could respect myself if I stayed with her.

[–]BeeBopJoe4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wish you the best of luck bro, things will turn out well. Keep us updated.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Keep us updated.

I will be posting an update once I visit with my lawyer.

[–]360_no_scope_upvote11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

Your wife feels no dread and fully believes that you will not walk away from her given any circumstance. I do not believe for a moment that your wife has been faithful to you. Thus she is no wife. Something tells me you should've vetted her better, but it doesn't help your situation now.

Get your assets in order, prepare for divorce. You're past stage 6 , go straight to 8 level of Dread. Go all the way now.

[–]ArticulateSavage13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

You are correct. I vetted poorly. I ignored my gut when it told me she was a cheater. I'm paying for it now.

Lawyer on Monday.

[–]Morphs_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Please keep us updated on how things develop, if you're actually pulling through with it and how she reacts. This stuff is valuable for other guys in similar situations.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I will post an update on Monday with my go plan for those who wish to read it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wow, Man!

That was a beautiful poem. Thank you for introducing me to Charles Bukowski.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is my favorite. Its a Levi’s commercial but I fuck with Levi’s so I don’t care. https://youtu.be/EXu2W4o0CP8

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Go Forth." That was great, too.

[–]throwitdownman9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

About your veteran friend - Assuming he and her had sex, it is not your friend’s fault she is willing to cheat, that she is attracted to someone else.

Him fucking her (or vice versa) is symptom of your two’s relationship being shit, not the cause. If it wasn’t him, it’ll be another (like this new person).

You can’t blame the symptoms (her wanting other dick). It’s like saying to a flu patient he coughs too much, and you try to prevent them from coughing.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

In other words...AWALT.

[–]02537-4110117 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bounce from your wife, bro

[–]ArticulateSavage9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think that's what needs to happen.

[–]Wrath_of_Trump7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

I suspected her of having an emotional affair with a friend of mine and fellow Afghan War veteran a couple years ago and was able to break it up between them by taking him for a beer and filling him in on how dedicated a father and husband I was. For some reason he just left her alone after that.

No, you suspected wrong. It wasn't "emotional", he fucked her and felt guilty about you not even knowing the half, so he walked away without making matters worse.

She's screwing somebody else. When she treats you with contempt, it means she's seen the grass on the other side. I don't know how, but you may have to do some wiretapping. Is she on social media? Does she hide it? Does your wife have a private life and you're just the schmuck paycheck who shows up every Friday?

Here are your options. If you truly believe in marriage, you have to acknowledge that you married a harlot and live with that. That's your duty, you signed up for it. She might believe she married a schmuck, who knows. Your other option is to give her a taste of her own medicine. It's going to compromise your marriage, but it's already compromised. Go take a "work vacation" to a hotel and shut your phone off. Cut your losses and stop wasting emotional energy trying to lead a horse to water. The more energy you invest, the more she will exploit you, because it costs her nothing. In fact, she is cucking you in your face, she is being rewarded for it. By "trying to make it work", you're reinforcing the bad behavior. She's like a little girl in college again, coasting on daddy's money to fuck every guy in the dorm. Put an end to that shit.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

No, you suspected wrong. It wasn't "emotional", he fucked her and felt guilty about you not even knowing the half, so he walked away without making matters worse.

It's funny that you should mention that. From that point onward, (after I "confronted" him) whenever I would meet with him or see him around, he seemed unable to maintain eye contact.

Fuck.

If you truly believe in marriage, you have to acknowledge that you married a harlot and live with that. That's your duty, you signed up for it.

I believe in marriage but I will not do that.

she is cucking you in your face

Not for long. My response to her shittiness will be forthcoming.

[–]Wrath_of_Trump1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

He knows judgment could be around the corner, that's why. Don't hate him, but don't go out of your way to make it right. Just move on.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Don't hate him, but don't go out of your way to make it right.

It's funny, but I feel very little anger in any of this. Mostly shame, for now. I probably need to get angry to fight this out.

[–]Wrath_of_Trump3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't get angry, stay cold blooded. Anger is passion. When you do finally break it off, make it look easy. That is the stinger.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. I know I need to remain cool for the sake of my children. I've resolved to, as far as may fairly be done, always speak well of my wife to others. I need to end this as amicably as possible.

[–]MoebiusMedium 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

My friend once had this problem with his LTR. He didn’t address it. One night while we were having drinks she called him to tell her she’d be home late cause she was having dinner with the mutual friend. My friend said: “Okay babe, do you want me to come fluff him up for you before you put it in too?” He hung up and moved out. I’ve never been prouder of him.

Relationships are a woman trading her sexuality for a mans love. Does it sound like she’s committed her sexuality to you and you alone? If not, why continue to commit your love to her and her alone?

There’s no point talking to her about it either. You can’t negotiate desire, in either direction. You just have implicit boundaries that you act upon. So fucking act.

Man, I see a plate make pretty eyes at another guy and she’s never getting passed plate. Let alone tolerating this shit.

[–]ArticulateSavage4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, I see a plate make pretty eyes at another guy and she’s never getting passed plate. Let alone tolerating this shit.

You will never be in my shoes, then. Well done and thanks for the advice.

[–]Hugegains552 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, I see a plate make pretty eyes at another guy and she’s never

One girl I dated did this. I realized then the relationship was over.

[–]1DonaldBaelish6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Red Pilled since 2012 my ass.

[–]ArticulateSavage3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Touche.

[–]kellykebab6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus Christ

I don’t like when married women announce that other men make their pussies wet. I think it’s disrespectful to their husbands. This was something my wife and I had agreed upon.

Too late

[–]otter6461a3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women usually treat men with contempt because the man is being contemptible. That’s the first place to look.

[–]ArticulateSavage3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women usually treat men with contempt because the man is being contemptible. That’s the first place to look.

After carefully analyzing myself and nearly five years of MAP implementation, there's little else I can do but conclude that she's a useless cunt.

[–]otter6461a2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also a possibility. Good luck bro.

[–]thesquarerootof15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a lawyer and make the first move towards divorce first. You are playing a game of chess at the moment.

[–]DarkWhale___7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

She’s probably bored of the relationship and shit testing you to start spanking her. She’s also probably trying to demean you to wrestle power from you. I would stop calling her out on it and mirror her behavior. Make HER jealous. Make HER worried. Show her that at any moment you’ll drop her ass for a younger hotter version of herself. Put her on ice.

[–]Republic_of_Ash3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is real good advice, but it looks like he's made his mind up now.

[–]DarkWhale___0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see, can’t argue with his decision.

[–]Morphs_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah this is really easy to implement. As a guy you don't even need to be overt about it. Just imply you'd fuck some other type of chick (preferably one that looks different from OP's wife, you know, different hair color, etc.).

[–]burgandypill3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hello brother. I appreciate your honesty with your self and your marriage. I see two ways of dealing with this issue. First off, if you plan on staying with your wife, then I would start manipulating the hamster even more. I don't think you specifically mentioned how long you and your wife have been together, so I can only assume it has been at least 5 years. Her inner hamster is probably contempt with life, and is now beginning to push boundaries. If you have mentioned this topic before, then it is clear she is doing this as a power move. My advice is to begin talking to other women more openly. If you plan on staying with your wife, then just begin conversations with different types of women, especially if she is around to see this. This will put her hamster into overdrive. You also gave an honest opinion of your self as a successful man, which means your SMV should be top 10% at least. If you decide the marriage isn't working out in your favor, the second option is to sign the papers and open up a whole world of possibilities. It is clear you have 20-30 years of endless poonami just waiting for you to bust open. However, take all this with a grain of salt, as I myself am not a married man, and I'm sure there are hundreds of more variables that affect this situation. Good Luck Brother.
EDIT- I began to read some of your comments. If your wife has indeed cheated on you, then that is automatic grounds for a divorce. Never stay with any women who cheats on you. It will immediately become a shit show for you and your family. Cut it off and get the divorce over with.

[–]ArticulateSavage6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've never had concrete evidence of a physical affair but had solid ground to suspect an emotional one. I attempted to come between her and her love interest. Just typing this makes me realize how cringey that sounds. My gut tells me she was unfaithful then but I didn't have the balls to do the right thing.

[–]goldinochic3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Emotional affair is cheating my man. I understand where you’re coming from but for the sake of self respect don’t overthink this. It’s hard to accept the truth about someone you idealized so much but bro, we’re talking about YOU here.

[–]stylesm113 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Realize your value, lose the ingrate

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you.

[–]wheresMYsteakAt3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Burn wife. Move to Belize.

[–]nofilmynofucky3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She disrespects you because she knows you'll allow it. Stop being a push over, next time she pulls this shit go and hit on someone else/dance with another woman or something and then make yourself less available over the next few days.

Sounds like your dread game is trash tbh, but that's something you can work on

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2223 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

She praised his physique and attractiveness while criticising his girlfriend’s physique and attractiveness on two separate occasions over the course of the evening

Lift harder.

announced her attraction for him for about ten minutes.

Everyone stood by and listened as she did it?

I felt humiliated and disrespected.

Yep.

This was something that I had been clear about in the past; I don’t like when married women announce that other men make their pussies wet. I think it’s disrespectful to their husbands.

Duh.

This was something my wife and I had agreed upon

Should go without saying...

Now I suspect that she is smitten with a new fellow despite my best Married Red Pill efforts over the past four years. I swallowed the pill in 2012 and have read everything on the sidebar, some of it multiple times. I lift, dress well am attractive and have the respect of my co-workers and friends. My social calendar is always full and I have meaningful hobbies. I’m bilingual, have a Master’s degree and am very well employed with enormous potential for financial compensation as I age and come into my own in my chosen field. I get plenty of IOIs from other women, my age and younger (old broads too, obviously).

All means nothing if you don't run serious dread when she pulls shit like this.

Somehow my wife, and my wife alone, treats me with contempt and I am not sure on what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated.

You trained her to be okay with it. It's your fault. More importantly, DON'T GET MARRIED

Answer: Dread.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

DON'T GET MARRIED

Too late.

[–]3chazthundergut3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go get yourself some strange pussy dude.

[–]Scheme003 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You sound like a stand up dude. A respectable, caring, loving guy (like me) that has a woman who has clearly lost all respect for you. This woman does not appreciate you. The only thing you can do is apply Dread or leave her. Personally, if a woman acted like that to me I would leave her. It would not matter how much the sunk costs would be of previous time and effort you have put towards her.

The only way she will respect you is when you divorce her ass for being a piece of shit partner. The red pill states that at ALL times you must know your worth and understand at your age YOU have all the power and are in your prime to upgrade to a better version of her. A younger, hotter version that respect s you and treats you live you deserve to be. She will have a rude awakening as she is approaching the wall right now and will soon be alpha widowed. It was HER actions that will leave her like that.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like a stand up dude. A respectable, caring, loving guy (like me)

Thank you. In all humility, what you say about me is true.

The only way she will respect you is when you divorce her ass for being a piece of shit partner.

Time for hardball.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You thought a contract with the government could change her biology. You thought words on paper exempt you from the game. When you restrict yourself to one woman, this is what happens.

[–]ArticulateSavage3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You thought a contract with the government could change her biology. You thought words on paper exempt you from the game. When you restrict yourself to one woman, this is what happens.

I did believe all those things. TRP helped remove the blinders from my eyes but my ego would not allow me to believe that it could EVER happen to me.

[–]alleyteris3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

if you suspect she cheated on you then she probably did, i would suggest uping your dread game if you want to continue your mariedge but if you dont think that things can be fixed and that you should divorce then go for the scorched earth tactic : hide all your assets before the divorce and make sure you give her as less money as posible , then initiate the divorce procedures , take this advice with a grain of salt brother and best of luck to you

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

if you suspect she cheated on you then she probably did

If there's any doubt... there's no doubt. Got it.

[–]Talisman645 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

Hey warrior,

Respect for your sacrifice in the war. That war was physical and pragmatic..it is what we men are good at.

But now,a weary soldier has to pick up arms and fight a new war against an enemy that is a 100 times worse than any one in faced in Afghanistan.

This enemy has brought that more men than history cares to record..this enemy is The Female.

Now,the way to win this war is not to fight like men do but to tame the enemy. And how do you do that?

You give her a steady supply of tingles..

Pussy tingles is all that matters to a woman..

This war cannot be fought with M-16s but with the knowledge gathered from the sidebar and then forged into a formidable battleplan.

I believe in you brother,I know you will tame this woman.

She doesn't respect yoh and there is a reason for that. You just need to look inward to find what you are doing wrong and stop it.

I hope this helps

[–]ArticulateSavage3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

I know you will tame this woman

Been working on Red Pill principles nigh on 5 years. I think I just vetted poorly.

[–]Talisman640 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

When she makes comments like the ones you mentioned,how do you punish her?

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I've never had to. Respecting that we are both human beings who will at times feel attraction to another person but will not rub the other's face in it. That's what we agreed upon and a boundary she violated.

Essentially, she confessed to our friends that she wants other dick in her.

[–]Talisman642 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Both of you are human beings..yes

Adults capable of being responsible?...no

She is still a child...

The best punishment is dread game

Read about it on the sidebar

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You are missing a lot more than vetting skills. Your handling of your wife's previous affair, and your seeming indifference to the import of it shows much to be desired.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are missing a lot more than vetting skills. Your handling of your wife's previous affair, and your seeming indifference to the import of it shows much to be desired.

It demonstrates a total lack of self respect.

[–]horacre1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mind sharing some tingle-specific articles?

[–]Talisman640 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hit the sidebar bro..

All your questions would the answered

[–]Nergaal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I felt humiliated and disrespected.

And failed to act accordingly. If this was a shit test, you failed it.

This was something that I had been clear about in the past;

Doesn't matter how clear you are if the other person isn't listening. There are various ways to make someone listen, and getting sounds out of your mouth is not gonna work if the other is just pretending to listen.

I suspected her of having an emotional affair with a friend

Because you lost your frame?

by taking him for a beer and filling him in on how dedicated a father and husband I was

This is the ultimate failure. This is mate guarding. If a female animal is in heat, only self control will matter. That female can't find an available male right now (because the male animal mate guards this one time), next time the female is in heat she will still want the next other male that shows up.

Now I suspect that she is smitten with a new fellow despite my best Married Red Pill efforts over the past four years.

I think you know what repeated signs of disrespect means.

Somehow my wife, and my wife alone, treats me with contempt and I am not sure on what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Even if you are convinced of your status, somehow, your woman isn't. Wether because she is bad at this, or because you are less good than you would like to admit at converting that status into actual perceived status.

Anyways, these were just the most important excerpts. You are allowing yourself to be her bitch. It's your relationship, but at some point you lost your frame. Repeatedly. And now you are paying the price.

[–]cussyandpopaine2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

tell her to go fuck him and go fuck herself

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, didn't even think of it at the time. I think I just turned beet red and grinned like an idiot.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is the one of the most painful things I've ever read. Take people's advice and do what you have to do.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is the one of the most painful things I've ever read.

I'm ashamed. Truly, deeply ashamed.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't know what to say bro, keep your head up and learn from this experience

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I understand it’s easy to let yourself go once a foundation has been established from your life, but even at 35 you cannot remain stagnant. You must give your wife a sense of excitement that you know how to do with your wife.

I noticed you didn’t mention you as a person in your OP.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Somehow my wife, and my wife alone, treats me with contempt

Divorce. It's that fucking simple. Why the fuck would you stand for this shit?

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you.

[–]lord-denning1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

As others have said, she feels 100% at ease that you are locked down so she is playing with stepping over the line. It may not be intentional but it needs to stop. You need to employ dread and let her see how tough her life will be without you.

We don’t know enough about your situation. If she is basically a good woman, then at the same time you need to make her life exciting and thrilling when she does something right. All women generally need that emotional charge and you may not be providing that to her. Appreciate you protecting our freedoms.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for reading my post and for taking the time to respond. Honestly, I think she wants me to kill the puppy. Five plus years of applying red pill and I'm ready to kill the puppy too.

[–]horacre1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

How's yours sex life? If your woman is that disrespectful of you, it means she doesn't give a fuck about you, and in that case the sex life isn't likely to be great.

Or maybe its just a dumb bitch being a dumb bitch.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or maybe its just a dumb bitch being a dumb bitch.

Sex is when and what I want. Never been in a low sex relationship.

[–]CrispyDeetz 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Do you want to try to fix this? Your wife is disrespecting the fuck out of you. My condolences for you being married but you need to up your dread game to the point of flirting with other women I'm front of her/cheating or just end it. Seems toxic as hell. AWALT. Even if you're alpha.

[–]ArticulateSavage3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seems toxic as hell.

That is how it feels to me.

Your wife is disrespecting the fuck out of you.

Agreed.

My condolences for you being married ...

LOL

Do you want to try to fix this?

Nah, I'm done.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost this cheating whore

[–]badaod1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey man.

This is right up my ally.

I wanted to write a comprehensive post but then all the answers so far have been pretty clear.

I lost my marriage over the same shit.

Indeed, she invited that guy into our house, and hung out with him until after I went to bed.

This whole thing makes me cringe thinking about it. So does your post.

Above you write you both “agreed” on certain things and you have been red pill for 4 years. Thoughts:

  • you can’t make a woman “agree” unless you have a potential downside to deliver for non-compliance. (that’s the part people falling you a bitch and i have to agree)
  • you might be red pill now (i still doubt you got it fully), but even if: once she saw you as beta you can never take that image away

“sex is when and what i want” sounds like it’s her being stuck as well and just trying to sabotage the relationship with disrespecting you like that. i wonder why you still have sex at all.

as a general advice: it sounds to me that you communicated on different tracks. she agreeing and you believing she really does. she having sex and you believing she likes it.

i would read some pickup books and try to read women better to avoid shit like that.

oh, yeah, almost forgot: divorce is inevitable

Sorry bro. i wish you all the best.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I lost my marriage over the same shit.

Indeed, she invited that guy into our house, and hung out with him until after I went to bed.

Thank you for sharing this personal experience with me.

This whole thing makes me cringe thinking about it. So does your post.

I've re-read my post at least 100 times since yesterday and agree, the cringe is truly embarrassing.

[–]Ozymanberg1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No marriage expert here, but my gut tells me it was a shit-test. You should've treated it as such. Don't get your ego involved in this cause you're gonna get reactive and lord only knows that shit can only get you in trouble.

If this keeps popping up, yes, shut it down and confront it. But those first few times you should've just held your frame and threw that shit back at her. When the girl starts getting on her high horse you need to shut it down immediately.

Take my advice for what it's worth, though. I know marriage has higher stakes. Essentially, just keep your frame and trust fully that you are high value.

[–]Im_Just_Sayin__1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this reply... a lot of dudes here are flat out advising divorce. I would have to disagree with this being cause for divorce, but it is definitely cause to pay attention to any additional signs that she is thinking about cheating or has cheated. I do think it is more than a shit test since it seemed to be an ongoing topic of conversation so best to prepare yourself for more if you don’t shut it down and confront her about it.

[–]IronJohnKwando1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

cut her loose, boss. No other way for me.

[–]its_meKnightSwolaire1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Divorce.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank You.

[–]hazaraMoghul1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You obviously read abt TRP but not follow. In TRP rules you should have ghosted her by now. If no kids.. should have divorced by now.

Stop being a b**** and be the gate keeper of the relationship.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You obviously read abt TRP but not follow.

My ego has gotten in my way. My hubris and naivete had me believing that it could never happen to me.

[–]AllForTheGains1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your wife has no fucken respect for you at all. Divorce that bitch asap.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed.

[–]Carbone1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

People only have 1 life to live and they accept living through shit like that.

I hope you know that the odds are more in your favour as to find a new girl that will not completely disrespect you in front of acquaintance than salvaging this relationship

It’s like you got stab by a knife and you think that is normal to walk around with a knife in your back, that it is your new you.

... think about it

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s like you got stab by a knife and you think that is normal to walk around with a knife in your back,

Repeatedly.

Thank you.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

So it’s the next day. What have you done? Anything? If you didn’t look at her in the eye and say “verbally masterbating about some guy in front of me and our neighbors was the last straw. I will be meeting with lawyers on Monday. I think it’s best if you stay somewhere else for awhile and we just keep our communication limited to the kids” then your a pussy whose wasting his time... his life really. So what have you done?

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for reading my post and taking the time to reply.

I won't talk with or threaten her. I would never win an argument and she would just hamster anything I say. The time for action is now. I will visit my lawyer on Monday and post an update then.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, he should not announce plans for a divorce. She could grab assets and work a Domestic Violence charge against him if he is indiscreet.

[–]juliusstreicher1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

There is still something wrong with you. If your wife is having an emotional affair, you don't go to the other guy about it.

When your wife insulted the other guy's wife, you should have said "No, her boobs are great...much more shapely than yours..." or something to counter her obnoxious behaviour.

[–]ArticulateSavage2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is still something wrong with you.

Agreed, time for a total reset.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Doesn’t mrp have you make an action stay/go plan and face this contingency?

I’m not fully into the ins & outs of mrp but a 4 year veteran shouldnt be asking these questions if you weren’t LARPing the whole time.

Sucks you’re in the situation. I’ll give you that.

[–]codeflack 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Mrp = ____ LARP = ____ Fill in the blanks for me please?

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

MRP= Married Red Pill (look it up)

LARP = Live Action Role Play.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Doesn’t mrp have you make an action stay/go plan and face this contingency?

I will be posting my go plan after consulting with my attorney. Stand-by.

[–]FiveStarTendieDinner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Divorce. Fuck other women.

[–]dustman830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If the dude has a hot wife, you could always swing.

[–]Jhushx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

From everything you just described, man: Unless you live in the middle of nowhere (unlikely given what you said about your social calender), try going to an activity that is overwhelmingly younger women, like group yoga or some sort of hobby meetup group.

Sorry to say but a cold wakeup call in public ought to snap her out of it. Otherwise it's just going to keep going and you'll be cycling over and over through the same feelings.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get a divorce and start fucking younger hotter women.

[–]Trip-trader 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I have a wife who treats me like a fucking ATM machine, blames me for every negative mood she has, treats me with contempt and threatens divorce with every fight she starts. No sex and rages at me regularly. Endless nagging and I’m walking in egg shells.

And that bitch would never do anything close to what your wife did to you here in public. The level of contempt she has for you is on some new level I thought I was already at 10/10. Your’s somehow found a way up to 12/10.

Glad your doing great with body, work, social. Your at a good point now to jump this ship wreck of a marriage and find a person who will treat you how you deserve to me treated. I’m planning the same after I have red pilled my life. Good luck mate.

[–]Im_Just_Sayin__1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep... My marriage isn’t all roses, but my wife would never ever comment on another guys attractiveness. She wouldn’t even do that to her girlfriends, just the type of respectful person she is...

[–]lampshade28181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The OP's story is crazy and way over the line, but everyone notices other good looking people. Even I notice when another dude is super good looking. When we're out and about sometimes my wife will just make a quick one-off comment and I'm usually like, "Yes. That man is good looking."

It goes the other way too. Yesterday we were walking near a yoga studio in town and this really hot girl came out in the typical black yoga pants and either had a thong on or nothing at all. My wife just goes, "Damn." I replied, "Yes. I am not mad at that."

Just because you get married it doesn't turn you into a robot that cannot see other people.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have a wife who treats me like a fucking ATM machine, blames me for every negative mood she has, treats me with contempt and threatens divorce with every fight she starts. No sex and rages at me regularly. Endless nagging and I’m walking in egg shells.

And that bitch would never do anything close to what your wife did to you here in public. The level of contempt she has for you is on some new level I thought I was already at 10/10. Your’s somehow found a way up to 12/10.

Wow! Thank you for sharing that with me.

[–]TermiFaptor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Cheat

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At the moment, it's the furthest thing from my mind. Pussy will come once I get through this hell and am ready for it. Not now.

[–]britdd0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Its time to open a safety deposit box with a bank that you have no other dealings with and start siphoning off part of your own paycheques in cash, horde it and not tell anyone except your most trusted RP friend/family member that has little to no contact or vested interest in your wife. If you somehow regain her respect, all the power to you but in my experience, once respect is lost in a relationship, its hopeless.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

If you somehow regain her respect, all the power to you but in my experience, once respect is lost in a relationship, its hopeless.

I suspect you are correct.

Its time to open a safety deposit box with a bank that you have no other dealings with and start siphoning off part of your own paycheques in cash, horde it and not tell anyone except your most trusted RP friend/family member that has little to no contact or vested interest in your wife.

Will detail more of the go plan after meeting with my lawyer.

[–]britdd0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Good Idea, definitely meet with a divorce lawyer and don't ever let it get back to her that you did. Lawyers are typically blood sucking thieves but they also relieve a ton of stress by providing you perspective and your best options.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Just knowing my options and likely outcomes will be a huge relief. Obviously, she's going to find out that I met with a lawyer.

[–]britdd1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

How? you aren't going to tell her and you pay the lawyer with cash for consult time. Only you and the team working for you (Lawyer) should ever know your game plan because the opposing party will never have your best interests at heart.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have contacted three lawyers as per the advice received here. Am eager to get this moving.

[–]britdd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great to hear. Follow your gut and the direct legal advice applicable to you and your situation. Always look after you, your kids and your job/career. Do those well and you should always come out on top and intact. good luck to you brother.

[–]returnofthemackX 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

How ripped are you?

[–]ArticulateSavage4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

My fitness is on point. Life long athlete and weight lifter. Went from ectomorph body to mesomorph over the period of a decade.

[–]HyperSensitiveSigma0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you should divorce her if you are the catch you say you are. Would that cost a house and 40% of your income for life? She might be trying to force a divorce from you. You are still at the age where it's easy to get early/mid twenties women. If finance is not a problem, why waste another day with this woman? Quit trying to save the marriage and get out of there.

[–]ArticulateSavage1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She might be trying to force a divorce from you.

I have been under this impression for years. It is time to give her what she wants.

Would that cost a house and 40% of your income for life?

I will find out more on the particulars related to finance once I've met with my lawyer. I will post an update as soon as that's done detailing my go plan.

I don't think I will regret losing the money on this one. The investment went bust. It happens.

[–]earthmother920 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Next the bitch.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed.

[–]wanderer7790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The shitty thing is you are in a little deep here with the kids and everything. You can still get out of course, but first it’s worth trying to salvage it. And of course the way you go about that is about the exact opposite of what you’ve heard.

Don’t: Talk to her about your feelings about it, ask her what you can do to fix it, threaten her, or make ultimatums.

Do: when she tries this or any other shit test, a&a (just go ahead and fuck him), ignore (my personal favorite, grin and nod like you dgaf, even better if you genuinely don’t), pressure flip (i doubt he’d be intereste in a girl like you). Then be quiet about it and apply dread game, start getting phone numbers when she’s not around and slowly escalate till you’re flirting with girls right in her face. This will eventually get her to blow up and try to start a huge fight. That’s what you want, cause then you get to stand there all stoic and maintain frame while she loses control of herself, you look powerful, she feels weak.

So yeah, just stay the course and keep applying fundamentals. The most important thing is to come from a place of not giving a fuck which should be easy for you by now.

[–]AlexDD2 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Ignore her. If possible, install a keylogger (easy to do on linux) and get as much info as possible. When you find proof, shove it to her face (without telling her how you know) then have very rough sex with lot of spanking. Tell her how nasty and how dirty her behaviour is. Make her your bitch. If she doesn't submit initially, repeat push (ignoring) and pull (f her like a dirty whore). If this doesn't work, f other plates so you give less fuck about her. Also consider to next (divorce) her. Good luck. Stop paying attention and giving her importance. Focus on yourself.

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The thought of fucking her repulses me.



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