I've been back to my university state, for exams. The school I study in has a pre graduate studying program of 4 years, right now I'm past graduation deadlines by being in the 4,5 year. I had sort of messed up halfway, when I got a job in a nightclub and had a ltr, spent time on plates etc.

Now I feel like I have to actually start studying, wake up early and clean my fucking room, put some clothes in for washing and go work out but I'm too fucking tied with smoking mj with my buddies that usually, even if I don't pay, lots of fucking money go on pointless food for the munchies, and trash for your health beverage drinks. I've become slow, easily nervous and need to move from venue to other venues sometimes when I'm not high. Tonight I was with my Chad friend smoking up our last ones because he'll be missing for the next eight days. I'm thinking of starting by doing something tomorrow and that'd be cleaning my room. Then I want the rest to follow but I'm worried I'll be very upset due to the lack of something to smoke and chill, at least at night. But once I get my cash day I know just money won't go missing while I'm high and I don't want to be empty pockets on a Saturday night or any other day/night again.. It's very frustrating, I always think and rationalize it's ok to go smoke one I'll have energy to do stuff later, but I always end up chill, dgaf style and enjoying my self but then I get very exhausted and uncomfortable, when it's the come down.

I've let old friends because I don't have the time, every time they call me because I'm busy meeting up with my buddies and chilling or because I'm out of money, money which were spent on substances of course. I got it pretty fucked for now.