I had a friend named David ever since I was in 6th grade. We did everything together. In fact during 7th to 9th grade, we got arrested together, fought together, lived in each other's houses, ate each other's food, played games together. We did everything together. We were like brothers. In fact, my weak father was busy trying to please his new wife that he tried to use us to create a favorable impression for her. When I refused to participate and things went south, he got me and my little brother a house to live for ourselves, and that's how we lived. We were dead poor. We always talked about the days when we would grow up. We were going to get rich together. We were going to travel together. We were going to slay women together. We were gonna grow up like brothers. "Bros before hoes, we used to say"

I had this hole I needed to fill with lack of parental support and I came to treat my friends as family. I shared my place with them. I shared my food with them. I gave them a place to stay. I was glad to have friends I can call family. I did everything for them.

Some instances with David

1. Around 10th grade we didn't have a car. But one of our acquaintances invited us to his place. He had two guy friends over with two other girls. We were like okay cool. Let's WALK! It was 2 in the morning and we were 16 at the time. Being just crazy, we said fuck it and walked for 4 hours to get to his house.

Once we get there, we find out one of the girls there didn't like us and thought we were creepy. He proceeded to ignore our calls and lock the door despite knowing that we walked 4 hours to get there.

I just said ah fuck it, let's just leave. David however got angry and decided to trash his car. He put garbage all over his car. He gave em a flat tire. He also keyed the fuck out of his car.

Next day, he called me to say his dad was going to call the police if we didn't show up. I went on to tell David and of course he said fuck him. So, I just went to his dad and apologized. I said it was me who did it and took the responsibility. He went on to scold me for an hour, and I just took it along. If my brother does something, it's also my responsibility. We have each other's back. That's what brother do. At least that's what I thought.

2. He went on my Facebook and messaged a girl we both knew. He messaged "I want to fuck you". Anyway, few weeks later down the road, I get a call from her boyfriend's friend. (Not even her boyfriend). He proceeds to tell me he found out if I had any friends that will back me up in a fight and found out I had none and that he was going to jump me for what I message'd his friend's girl. I went on to say great, let's meet at this park. One thing led to another and it ended up never happening.

The thing here was that I used to jokingly message her saying "You need to come over, so we can fuck". She was interested in the beginning, and once I saw that I was trolling, she got fed up and basically told her boyfriend. But I got the message and stopped. What happened was my friend messaged her and that finally did it.

Anyway, my friend David finds out what happened. He doesn't say anything. A few weeks later, we run into the boyfriend of the girl he messaged. Basically, I just said "Yo, my bad. We good?" And he said "Yeah, we good". I don't snitch. I don't say it was my friend, I just keep it as we go.

My friend David says "You know he was joking right?" He didn't say anything bout saying it was him who messaged or whatever.

These are few of the incidents where I basically tell my philosophy of how I treated my friend and my brother.

Anyway, everything changed once I got with a girl named Jennie.

Here's how we met.

I remember we were at a party.

I was dating a girl named Katie. She wasn't smoking but she was the cute and classy type of girl. She wasn't like an attention whore. She just was a good girl to be around. I liked dating her, and it was all good. We were starting to move forward in our relationship.

And at this party, I got to meet Jennie. She was a girlfriend of my acquaintance at the time. I just said hi and went on about my day. At night, I went to meet the girl I was dating across the street and came back. I literally had no interest in talking to any girls. I just had interest in kicking it with my homies more than anything.

So I'm drinking with another buddy of mine and we were kind of drunk. There was this huge bed where people were just laying down and we kind of just laid down shootin the shit drunk. And then all of the sudden, Jennie comes out of nowhere and says "Andersen! You took my spot!" And proceeds to lay between me and my buddy.

At that time, I just think it's weird. And carry on conversating with my buddy.

Jennie starts getting flirty with me and starts looking for excuses to touch me.

I then ask her, "uh, don't you have a boyfriend?"

She kind of ignores it and proceeds to be flirty with me.

Long story short, they break up the day after and she starts to pursue me. (The thing with this girl was that she was a cheerleader from another high school and liked me for some reason at the time. The thing about her was that she was also a big time slut. She fucked 2 friends of mine before I lost my virginity to her. But man did she attract men like flies regardless.)

So basically, the other girl finds out, gets jealous, and goes no contact with me. And I literally had no choice but to start dating Jennie.

The thing with Jennie was that she was also a big time slut/player. She knew how seduction worked and went on to seduce the fuck out of me and wanted to take my virginity. But the thing with me is, I had no experience at 16. I never had sex before her. She had already fucked over 7 guys by that time. And she started getting frustrated when I couldn't get it up.

And this is where David shows up in the story.

I remember David asked me one time if I wanted to go with him to meet Jennie (My gf) and his other friend at the coffee shop. I remembered thinking that was kind of odd, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. I said nah go ahead, I'm tired.

Later on that day, I hear the guys (David and his friend) kind of looking at me and laughing while my gf is hitting them in the arms. (I found out that she told them she's sexually frustrated cause she didn't have sex in a year because of me and I couldn't get it up)

David and his friend starts to tease me and mock me saying "Couldn't get the little fella up huh?"
I honestly thought it was just good natured ribbing and framed it as such.

But I started getting more stranger behaviors from David.

David: "Yo Andersen, how's Jennie on bed?"
Me: "What? I don't know.. wtf?"
David: "What do you mean you dont know?"

Second, we were at a hotel party. I got so high and drunk that i fell asleep momentarily and wake up to find my best friend David and my girlfriend Jennie laying right next to each other on a bed. They were laughing and flirting and making jokes to each other.

I remember someone casually remarking "Well, that's awkward."
I went on to get her outside and said "let's break up."

She pleaded and cried saying 'no please don't break up with me, I'm sorry".

At that time, I was so blinded by loyalty. I thought it was her fault. She's the fucking problem, not David. He's been my friend from day one.

At the time, stupid of me, I took her back. She proceeded to break me down mentally, psychologically, and turned me into the biggest beta cuck. I was stuck. I didn't have the social skills to meet girls of that caliber. Once she leaves, I won't be able to get a girl like that again. And also, because David was part of my social circle, I couldn't just up and leave.

Basically, David went on to humiliate me and take away any self-esteem I had for myself.

David in front of his younger brother

David: "Hey Andersen, remember when your girl was flirting with em? Man, you lucky I didn't steal her"
Me: (Thinking: What..? Why is he doing this..? Is he really willing to humiliate me for his insecurities and throw away our friendship? there's no way.. it must be him just joking)

Me; Haha shut up man!

(What's funny is that his girlfriend actually contacted me to hang out alone after they broke up. I told her to fuck off as I don't fuck with my friend's girls. And if I do, I wouldn't do it behind their backs)

Eventually, I got cucked. I became a bitch.

We graduated high school and went our separate ways.

The thing about me over the years after high school was that this anger and resentment started rising up and filling up my psyche. How my dad used mt to impress his own step mom, how my own mom used to physically abuse me, how I fucking treated my friends like family only to get humiliated and disrespected. It built up over the years. But I refused to recognize it.

Than a funny thing happened.

A few years down the road, I saw David post on facebook depressing status mesages.

"Tough times don't last. Tough people do" and so on.

Basically, I knew him enough to know that he was going through something so being his brother I reached out to him. I find out that he was going through something weird. His buddy apparently thought his wife was cheating on him. And he wanted David to test and see if his wife would cheat on him if given the chance.

And she told David "God I want to fuck you.. my husband's in the living room but you should come over tmorow"

David went on to become depressed and guilty about this situation. I gave him some advice, and he proceeded to say.

"Over the years.. I'm lucky to have a friend like you man"

Anyway, life went on, and we're now about 25/26. He went back to his hometown. He went back to doing the same thing with our old friends, playing video games, drinking, and dating some mediocre girl.

Meanwhile, I had been traveling all over the world, I got a mentor who helped me see the ways of socially skilled, making friends, getting girls, and so on.

David saw that I was getting better and he again was showing some jealousy.

"Oh look at you, mr.worldwide, getting popular now huh?"
"Oh damn, look at your fashion. Getting all great"

If it was for any sane person, he would've just dropped him and moved on. But I couldn't. For some reason that feeling of hatred, resentment, and revenge still lingered on. I also still had a feeling that he just doesn't understand what's going on. I decided to call him

David: Andersen?
Me: Whats up

David: dam it's been awhile

Me: I Know how you been?
David: Great great you?
Me: Listen man, I wanted to talk to you about something from the past.

David: Omg, is this that Jennie shit again? Dude get over it.

Me: Why did you do that man? Why did you flirt with her?
David: The fuck you talking about? Everyone was flirting with her. I didn't do anything wrong. You still haven't changed man. (Classic projection. He still has yet to change as I was hoping to have a mature conversation with him even after a decade later)

Me: That's exactly what I'm saying. We were like brothers. We started our journey together even before all these people came in. And you were willing to throw that away just because of some girl? Are you serious? You were held to a higher standard man. You think I would've even thought about flirting with your girl?

David: (Silence)
David: I get it.

Me: That should've never even crossed your mind.

David: Yeah..

Me: I just wanted you to understand that man. You were my brother once.

David: I wish things didn't happen the way it did.

Me: I even thought about calling you and settle this like a man. But now I'm at a peaceful place where I'm moving on.

David: I'm glad you're peaceful now man.

Me: Alright, as long as you understand. I saw that you got a girl, you getting married?
David: Yeah I'm thinking bout it.

Me: Alright man, well if you get married send me a message or something. I'll send you a wedding gift or something. I wish you best of lucks man. Good luck.

David: You too man.

I'm at a weird place now. I'm still disheartened that a friend that was so close to me, that knew EVERYTHING about me would betray me over his jealousy, insecurity, and over some girl.

I still have resentment and still improving. I lift religiously, focusing on studies, starting a business yet I've been trying to get closer but even after a decade it still angers me and hurts me. I need some perspectives on this from an outsider.