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I lost all interest in engaging with woman, what now?

Reddit View
June 8, 2018
65 upvotes

When I was younger 17/16, I had no knowledge about the redpill, but I seemed to be getting way more dates than I do now(26M), now that I look better, have a car, my own place, solid career and good savings, I don't want to even TRY to get a girlfriend, everytime I talk to a woman just thinking about all the things I have to go through to get in her pants is just tiresome so I give up, I'm going to the gym and doing everything to improve myself, but I just don't want to engage with woman anymore.

I used to have a lot of girl "friends" that I talked with, now I don't talk to any of them and have no friends, is there something wrong with me?


Post Information
Title I lost all interest in engaging with woman, what now?
Author un_knownguy
Upvotes 65
Comments 72
Date 08 June 2018 10:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/99567
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8poeo7/i_lost_all_interest_in_engaging_with_woman_what/
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Comments

[–]Aralant37 points38 points  (12 children) | Copy

I feel ya man I'm the same way.

I don't enjoy club or bar scenes so the reason I'd go is to be around women. And they are worth putting up with the drunks or loud music.

I enjoy fishing and hiking thing is there are no women found natively there.

So I'm given the choice go to the bars and be fake or just focus on what I enjoy regardless of the social consequences.

It seems like a lot of men these days have this thought process.

[–]3d_truth5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy

There are plenty of women outside of bars. Why can't you do day game at a mall, or use dating app?

[–]Aralant3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's where I get the vast majority of my sexual interactions from.

But these women typically take a bit more effort as women in bars are there for a particular reason.

It all comes back to cost and reward. What are you getting for how much effort you have to put in.

[–]Youcantbanthechamp1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Dating apps are the only way to go nowadays. It's like approaching thousands of girls through day game. And personally, it's much easier to escalate on the apps.

[–]3d_truth1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yea it's definitely easy. All my lays this year have come from dating apps. But I have a feeling that day gaming girls would be easier. If I could approach random girls as fearlessly as I can open girls on dating apps, I think I would have access to a higher tier of girls. And my success rate would Skyrocket.

A girl will be hit on by hundreds of guys a week online, but close to zero in real life.

[–]Youcantbanthechamp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think without a doubt you'd have access to higher tier girls. Having said that, your efficiency, no matter how easy it becomes, will spiral south. The girls that match you already find you attractive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah but at the same time it's not refining your skills with women.

Approaching women in real life is a skill that you want to refine as a young man. Dealing with rejection in person rather than on a screen is a must. Being able to hold an engaging conversation in person rather than having unlimited time to come up with a witty or escalating response is a skill you should have.

And this is coming from someone who spent the last 4 years at college banging tinder girls. Tinder should be a supplement to your regular in-person gaming, not the main aspect.

[–]Youcantbanthechamp0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I agree it's important to have that skill. I have some background in day game/pick up and it comes in handy when I have to seal the deal on tinder. For example, sometimes they'll want to meet somewhere for drinks before we go fuck in a hotel or either of our places to make sure I'm not a serial killer, or worse: socially autistic. So I agree it's totally important to have the skill where you don't even need tinder. Having said that, tinder, bumble etc aren't going anywhere. And because they're so efficient, literally a thousand times more than pure day game, I see no problem in having them be the "main aspect".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't agree that it's more efficient though. On tinder you have 6's on the app that are choosier than 9's in person because of all the messages they receive.

And yeah I'm not a huge fan of daygame but I think that it has a higher efficiency than tinder. Think of all the women you swipe on that don't even swipe back. Then think of all the women you match with that don't even message back or barely want to talk since they're just on the app for attention.

Tinder 2-3 years ago was amazing but now it's filled with bots and venmo whores

[–]Youcantbanthechamp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't agree that it's more efficient though. On tinder you have 6's on the app that are choosier than 9's in person because of all the messages they receive.

What percentage of women in real life are single, straight, in your age bracket, and are within 30 miles of you? What's that percentage on tinder? What percentage of the women you find on the street are attracted to you? What percentage of your matches are attracted to you? Also, what makes you think that the 8/9 you see at Target doesn't have her ego inflated from social media as well? Just because you haven't seen their tinder/IG doesn't mean they don't have one.

Think of all the women you swipe on that don't even swipe back.

Yeah, those are the same women that would most likely reject you in real life as well.

Then think of all the women you match with that don't even message back or barely want to talk since they're just on the app for attention.

I'm sure there's plenty of girls like that but from my experience, I've been able to have some conversation with every single attractive match I get. This probably comes from experience.

Tinder 2-3 years ago was amazing but now it's filled with bots and venmo whores

I've had a tinder on and off since 2014. Recently, I haven't had a single bot match me. I've seen maybe 3 profiles that were fake among the thousands I've swiped on ever since I made a new account. Sure I've seen venmo whores but again it's been practically irrelevant to me since I've only had one match like that in my entire online dating career. I'm honestly not sure if trp blows this shit out of proportion or if I'm just in a miraculously good area in the country (doubt it).

[–]blister3330 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It seems like a lot of men these days have this thought process.

do they really? outside of here, i'd say almost everyone i know is/or will likely get married eventually.

[–]Aralant0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Perhaps it's different in my social circles I'm a construction worker and work around 99% men and the general opinion is that women these days just aren't worth the effort or risk.

Between all the false rape accusations, stds and family court they just can't see where having a living breathing pocket pussy is worth the risk.

These hoes don't cook like your mama or grandmother. They bitch if they gotta clean anything and they are steady wanting to be bought something. Bout all they are good for is their pussy and most of em been railed so many times already you never know if you are getting sloppy seconds or even thirds.

Not saying I've given up but I certainly see the logic in mgtow.

[–]blister3330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When I was in trade school, I heard a lot more of this compared to now in college/working retail/office jobs. The guys in trade school were much more aligned with trp compared to the people I’m around now

[–]Peter_B_Long49 points50 points  (8 children) | Copy

It sounds like you're lacking game and you're trying to rationalize to yourself that you don't have enough interest to pursue it vs. the reality of not having the skill to achieve it.

The problem (and the solution that you had when you were younger) is that you no longer HAVE FUN. I'm on the same boat as you that I used to get more dates and attention when I was a teenager vs. now that I'm a young adult (23). Because I was more careless and didn't have money so I had to be creative with my lifestyle, I had a lot of fun when I was a teenager. I skateboarded, I played in a band, I would stay out late drinking beers even though I had school in the morning. I remember hanging out with girls at the park late at night and just chilling on the swings or laying down on the slide.

You need to be more fun and have more fun. When you're out and about and even in your day to day life, have more fun. Be more silly. Live life more. Girls are attracted to that fun idgaf attitude. The dude letting loose on the dance floor.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire221 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Eh, no matter how you slice it, he has to do stuff he doesn't want to do. One person's idea of fun is another person's torment.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

He’s not asking how to attract women, he’s saying he doesn’t even feel desire TO attract women. Personally I don’t think it’s anything to freak out about.

[–]bannedfromWTFmod4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

didnt have money

I can say for sure, having tons of money( especially with how well my portfolio is doing with economy right now) & owning my house has not itself increased my game or gotten me higher quality tail than normal.

Quality Girls dont really care about that shit if you brag, even humbly or non chalantly, and the ones you do attract are just after free shit usually.

[–]un_knownguy2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Man I work remotely for a company, no way I could do that

[–]soredx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I also work remotely and do it from home. The answer to someone who doesn't like to go out at night is day game. Hiking is great for this, meet people in organised events and invite for private hiking girls you like. You may also start new male friends in the hiking groups / associations.

Read Day Bang book and of course the side bar.

Mostly, don't hamster yourself with excuses!

[–]EvanPetersDouble0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I second this. I remember on my 19-22s I used to get lots of pussy, I was more creative back then. 24 is a bit harder age as you grow up and the responsibilities increase.

[–]laserdicks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not actually a failure to take some time for yourself. Maslow's hierarchy. Your are no.1 and where women fit into that is dependent on a lot of things.

But (and I'm aiming this mostly at myself, in the same situation) you do need to be active in moving towards new social systoms and methods.

[–]chomponthebit21 points22 points  (8 children) | Copy

Op, it’s just the effort you have to put in? Or is there some hidden resentment toward them (like the RP anger phase)?

Maybe just go monk for a bit, and focus on bettering yourself in other ways that have nothing to do with your car, your house, or your finances. They won’t be talking about how nice your house was or how big your wife’s titties were at your funeral. They’ll be talking about your personality, your relationships, and what you did for others.

You can always come back to women/a woman with a fresh head on your shoulders

[–]un_knownguy3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Sounds like a good advice, it's just that I don't even want to talk with them

[–]chomponthebit6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

For now. Your dick may reassert it’s influence in a week or a year. I go through similar phases then fuck a baker’s dozen. No rhyme nor reason

[–]JSizzl38 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

r/MGTOW might interest you...

[–]Youcantbanthechamp2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Mgtow is like rage quitting a video game. It's the cheap, easy way out instead of actually dominating the game. I'd pass.

[–]JSizzl30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Others may see it as skipping killing the zombies and saving ammo for the bigger challenges.

[–]Youcantbanthechamp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, the only thing wrong with that analogy, assuming you're a straight male, with average or above average levels of testosterone, is that killing the zombies is in your fucking blood. It's like having a vampire go vegan.

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He already did that.

[–]Black_m0ngoose19 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy

Some will say that you aren't interested in women because you lack game.

I'll argue against that, game is only developed when there is a demand.

I had awesome game in my 20's.

I'm currently 30, and I can hardly talk to a girl now.

Not because I lack ability- I simply lack the need due to the low bar for access in my area. Like a muscle that isn't challenged, it's atrophied.

Why? Because there's really nothing to talk to them about. You neg, agree and amplify, and deploy amused mastery for shit tests.

It's simply not really a challenge anymore. So without a challenge, you cannot build your strength up in game. All things in life is like working out: no pain, no gain.

The barrier to access with women is laughably low. /u/GayLubeOil did a write-up about acting basic to attract basic women. That perfectly sums it up.

The vast majority of western women are basic, boring, and if you've fucked one you've effectively fucked them all at this point.

I find myself yawning on the inside- with no challenge there is no rush, no fun. It's not a hunt if you feel like you're shooting fish in a barrel.

Feminism has effectively made women almost as disposable and worthless as men.

[–]un_knownguy10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's almost exactly how I feel

[–]dongpal1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women search for something they have not or for a difference, or someone who is higher up than them. How can you attract women by being on the same level?

[–]Black_m0ngoose1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're a man, you're on two totally different levels.

A woman's biology is constantly seeking out the highest level male in the environment. A man's value is dependent on context within the environment.

Once a woman's perception (normally subconscious) believes she has ensnared a high value male, her brain will release a flood of dopamine to let her know that she's being a good girl in mother nature's eyes.

To be a high value man today, it's simply enough to lift and have frame.

[–]comcain1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's like fishing with dynamite..

[–]NotMeUsee6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I got to tell you I really get this. At 33 and suddenly single after a long time. No desire at all to even try. At this point I think I'm over the hump in terms of meeting a girl who doesn't have super baggage. No thanks. You keep your fatherless child and I'll keep my sanity.

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is rapidly becoming the future.

[–]AwkwardEmpath15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds as bad as being addicted to porn imo (with the escort thing) it makes you look at women one way; a sex object and nothing else. Just thought I'd throw that opinion out there.

[–]UncleChido3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

What else are they but sex objects.

[–]TehJimmyy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Neither do i believe in female friendship. Yes it can exist but the main reason is them to get to know you new females or social proof ( sex ) which still leads to your statement.

I am just curious tho if has anyone here had a friendship with a woman without wanting to even have sex with her once. Sounds delusional to me.

[–]huge_gap13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Engage with men.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

where

[–]Endorsed Contributormonsieurhire24 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try nofap and see if that helps.

[–]Original_Username72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

MGTOW brother! It's awesome!

[–]AaronKClark4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Check out /r/mgtow

[–]A_Wizard17172 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

basically anger phase subreddit

[–]AaronKClark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree with you, but here's an upvote anyway.

[–]1walawalawa3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I find this too. It goes in waves for me and i'm in that slump.

Like most things, I just plough on. I force myself to go out. I continue gaming and being social. I just don't make an issue if i don't go beyond having a good banter.

I was killing it for a while then like you say started to get disappointed. But i think part of that is avoiding the prospect of rejection.

Just keep doing it. Stop rationalizing not doing it.

[–]Imonreddityea 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Where do you find escorts? I want to give it a try

[–]un_knownguy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are plenty on the internet and it's legal where I live

[–]abudun79[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you've given up half way there.

That's a point I rarely see around here: Swallowing the pill is hard and bitter, but dealing with your new found truth is way harder. If you loose interest in girls you might have swallowed the pill (aka "accepted new truths"), but not digested it (aka "learned how to live a positive life with that new reality, without becoming an anti-social asshole"), because it is stuck in your throat (aka "the truth hurts too much at the moment").

There is no guarantee your life will get better... that's why some people want to go BP again (aka "spit out the pill") or go for a cheap version of MGTOW (aka "I can live with the pill in my throat, aargh, it's not that bad, urgh"), of course not acknowledging that, because they think TRP means you should use women.

[–]its_meKnightSwolaire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP is going his own way and that’s fine.

[–]RedPilledRoaster1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you are horny this doesn’t happen.

Get your T checked.

[–]un_knownguy9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

I want to have sex, that's why I pay the scorts for.... it's not a lack of sexual desire here

[–]RedPilledRoaster0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well that’s your answer. You pay fucking escorts.

You’re giving yourself an easy way to have sex by doing this. You’re telling your mind that all it has to do for sex is pay someone, so you don’t want to put the effort in.

[–]un_knownguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's totally right my friend, I think you're hitting the nail on the head here, paying escorts(beautiful young woman) and just get them to not talk to me again is just a way to amazing experience.

The downside is that I know I expose myself to many things and also my game has gone down even after taking the red pill.

[–]jizzonmypants1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You have gone full monk mode, having no friend to talk to or losing interest in certain women because you can pay scorts feels like an excuse for being afraid/dissapointed at people there might be some issues there dude, best you could do is talking with a profesional.

[–]juggernaut86 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why do people keep using 'scorts' in this thread? The word is escorts or is this some new trp thing?

[–]empatheticapathetic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do u even scort bro?

[–]UncleChido1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can relate. I think it just happens sometimes. Quite a hassle, escorts are way easier especially considering Trp knowledge and AWALT.

We can do without them but we need them. Keep focused on your mission, the right ones come and they never make it difficult.

Source: my experience.

[–]huntersam131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

bang your bros?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

n I do now(26M), now that I look better, have a car, my own place, solid career and good savings,

Larger social group.

everytime I talk to a woman just thinking about all the things I have to go through to get in her pants is just tiresome so I give up,

Talk about yourself, she's along for the ride.

I just don't want to engage with woman anymore.

Understandable, but they're not that bad when you get your head around it.

I desire to be with a woman, but when I know that I can pay scort cum and then go back home that wins all the time.

In that case you don't desire to be with a woman.

[–]Youcantbanthechamp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not as hard as you think. You just need a touch of game and some good circumstances.

[–]3d_truth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What is short cum? You really don't need to put as much effort in as you think. I usually meet with a girl at a park, garden, coffee shop and invite them back to mine within 30 minutes.

Most go for it, and we have sex. Then on sunsequent dates it is just pussy delivery. Anything is possible. Don't make excuses for yourself.

[–]PiNto_7-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I DONT KNOW

[–]NextForever-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

sounds like you need to be dominated by some crusty biker down at the bath-house to truly appreciate the tender goodness of a woman's touch.

or you might enjoy it, who knows

[–]Ricardo2991-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

All the things you have to go through? Do you have anxiety or are you asexual? Something is wrong with you. You don't have any guy friends. Unless you are ok being a lone wolf, and I can tell you aren't...you need to make some bros.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Toughen up.

You need to work on your game. It ain’t hard when you got it down better. It’s even fun because you can troll her and fuck with her for shits ‘n giggles and still get the close. When that happens you’ll know how basic 99% of women are.

Go get game. Stop hiding.

When you can close and bang easily then you get to have an opinion.

[–]StradivariusUkulele-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like I went through. I simply realised that vast majority of women are not worth any effort. This is especially true now that I live in a feminist location, having grown up in a traditional place with plenty of beautiful, feminine sweet girls.

While I'm here, it's all about minimising effort to get laid: Swipe on the apps throughout the week, then sit down once a week (Sunday morning works well) and message all the matches. Test for compliance etc. early on. Meet up for the date outside my home. Be ready to walk if she shows attitude (my shortest date was 15 minutes). Very rarely meet a girl for a second time if she doesn't put out on the first date.

The girls I do are fuckable but not hot. They have very pleasant personalities, which is extremely rare in this place. I make up for what they lack in looks by going for specific weird items on my sex bucket list that I always wanted to try but never got around to it: a girl taller than me (and I'm tall); a freckled pale redhead with braces. etc. That way there is still some excitement.

[–]aguywholifts 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

All the things you have to go through? It’s really not a circus act to sleep with a woman if she is attracted to you and you escalate properly.

[–]un_knownguy5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

You still gotta listen to all the blablabla..... you kkknow it's not just like that

[–]TheNathanW231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The trick is to find a girl your interested in, I dont particular like girls I have nothing in common with either. Find a girl you can look forward to seeing and everything else fades away. Getting laid is easy and fun then

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL tiresome to interact with women?

Sounds awesome where can I get some of that?

You want to be with a woman? You haven't gotten that pill down yet my man. A fully swallowed red pill makes you want to fuck women and not be with them.

Work on not needing anyone but yourself and certainly get out there and socialize, it is part of working on yourself. Even if you don't want to, go out and approach a few people. Don't be a shut in.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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