Exredpill "guru" giving advice on loyalty... whose own love life is a joke 🤡 [xhhmzu, v1rfky]

This is an ad hominem fallacy the guy although his relationship is certainly very odd "cuck" something I don't approve of the words he says are worth considering on their own merits so here it is

I don't do love languages - that's some pseudo-psychology on par with Myers Briggs and astrology.

I'll also say that you should never listen to anyone who says "women are incapable of..."

Personally I don't like the idea of "loyalty" in relationships; I think the term is inaccurate in describing how healthy relationships function. To me, the term "loyalty" implies service, submission, sacrifice and surrender. Being loyal to someone is accepting rules and regulations defined by someone else, it's letting someone shape your life to meet their demands.

Instead, what I think some might call "loyalty", I would call mutual respect and empathy. It's considering your actions and how they may impact your partner, it's being aware of each other's needs and desires and making an effort to support each other, whilst also holding respect for yourself and weighing up each other's needs with reason and negotiation.

You see, these red pill coaches are narcissists. Their priority is their ego, and they hold themselves up on power dynamics and hierarchies. A red piller would demand loyalty from a woman because his whole self image depends on him being able to control her. It helps him believe that he is powerful. It's also important for him to appear more powerful than other men, and so he will demand a particular kind of "loyalty" that might mean not having male friends, dressing modestly etc. For the woman to show any interest in other men would threaten his social position, because if she has other men in her life, clearly he is not good enough. If there are other men, they might steal her from him, and he must prevent that at all costs to maintain his own self image.

In reality of course, this level of control, this demand for loyalty and submission is toxic, and will almost always result in an abusive relationship, or at best for the woman to leave for a setting where she can have her own life back. This is why those coaches will tell you a woman is not capable of loyalty; they don't get the kind of "loyalty" they want because it's toxic and it makes women leave. So they blame the women. Even though we all know that lots and lots of people maintain very long, healthy and committed relationships, proving clearly that women are perfectly capable of "loyalty".

Relationships are not about loyalty. They're not about hierarchy, control and unconditional submission. It's not about a woman giving up her life so that she can fit into yours and become the woman that you want her to be. Relationships are about two separate, individual and whole lives overlapping for the positive experiences of companionship and for mutual benefit. We will naturally commit to people who make our lives better. Healthy relationships happen between people who share respect and empathy for each other. When you combine your life with someone else's in an empathetic and respectful way, where you support each other and share experiences together, but are also considerate of each other's own lives, needs and desires, then you create a space where this "loyalty" and love can naturally grow.

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 years. That's surely what many would call "loyal", but I would say that we managed that not by making demands of each other, but by each being someone who makes the other's life better in various ways. I don't need to tell her that she can't have these friends or that she must do these things or that she must "show" her loyalty to me. I don't need to. Because I know that she cares about me empathetically and has an active desire to do good things for me, just as I do for her. Of course we make sacrifices for each other, but we also acknowledge each other's needs and we make those sacrifices with reason and negotiation. Nobody worships the other or follows the other unconditionally. We go through our lives and we each do our best to overlap our lives with each other's, to enhance and better each other's lives.