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Let's say you found out your date saw you as below average before she messaged you. Would you still date her?

RatDontPanic
October 14, 2022
2 upvotes
/r/AllPillDebate

The OkCupid study said women found 80% of men to be 'below average' in terms of attractiveness but decided to message them anyway.

So let's say for argument's sake you found out via telepathy that she found you less attractive than the average man but decided to message you anyway.

Would you continue to date her?

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Post Information
Title Let's say you found out your date saw you as below average before she messaged you. Would you still date her?
Author RatDontPanic
Upvotes 2
Comments 25
Date October 14, 2022 2:48 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/lets-say-you-found-out-your-date-saw-you-as-below.1139519
https://theredarchive.com/post/1139519
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/y3hws1/lets_say_you_found_out_your_date_saw_you_as_below/
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Comments

[–]spinky_bum9451 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nah, would definitely not date her as it would be a complete waste of time.

I would just try to fuck her, though

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I personally wouldn't want to fuck her but I can't blame you.

[–]BoogersAndSugar 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, I wouldn't either. Another danger of settlers and gold diggers is false "rape" accusations. She already feels degraded because she's basically prostituting herself with you, so if you don't give her what she "worked" for, she could get real nasty.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

IOW don't be a Johnny Depp lol

[–]De_Carabas_of_Below 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude!

I was going to say exactly that.

Never mind - have my upvote.

[–]BoogersAndSugar 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

HELL no! A girl who settles for you is pretty much guaranteed to be trouble down the line. High divorce risk, dead bedrooms, resentment, excessive demands (you're expected to "compensate" but it'll never be enough), cheating, picking fights, disrespect, etc, etc. A plain looking guy is better off single than getting with someone whose settling for him. Romantic love isn't a realistic expectation for everybody.

[–]SmarmyPapsmears 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Obviously not, but I also don't think a woman would date a man if she felt he was below average

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Oh, many women do. They even marry such men. The problem is that marriage slowly disintegrates over time, in many various and well-known ways.

[–]BoogersAndSugar 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

LOL @ the downvotes. The women who do this shit definitely DON'T want men talking about it :). If too many men realized how common this is, as well as all the problems that come with it, then they'd start screening out these settlers instead of marrying them.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For real though

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well as a woman ,judging by seeing relationships,Most men will still date just to fuck her or try to see if there is any boyfriend benefits.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a stupid move for any man.

[–]aytubdotcom 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

if kim kardashian found me below average, would i still fuck her? Hell yeah!!

[–]pikecat 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

"For every hot girl girl, there's some guy who tired of fucking her."

Just turned it around.

Looks aren't everything. It matters much less when you know someone well and have to live with them. You don't even notice anymore and their character becomes primary.

I once saw a hot looking girl across the street. As I looked, she morphed, like an alien shape shifter, into something else less hot, my girlfriend.

If you think that looks are all that matter you're shallow and missing out on great things in life.

Also, when you're really into someone, they will look better to you.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Looks aren't the only thing that matter, but if you're not attractive to her you're going to be her friend and nothing else. If you are physically attractive to her and you (not you, but speaking in general) have a shitty character then yeah it's not gonna happen either.

It's like five factor authentication. The first password is good looks. The other four are moral character, compatibility in beliefs, compatibility in interests, and other x-factors. Fail one and you fail completely.

If you actually get in a relationship with someone that you don't find attractive you may very well get into that relationship but invariably it will end poorly.

[–]pikecat -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Half of people are below average. Everyone used to get married. So people did find someone.

Most stuff online is not indicative of the real world. It's more what people wish or hope is true, plus an accentuation of people's negativity, it's twisting people up. You shouldn't get your knowledge and opinions of society from online. The majority of normality is not discussed. So your view gets distorted.

Also, what you believe becomes what you are sensitive to. Change what you think and your reality changes. This is a powerful thing that I used to make my life better. Very few people know this, they have one version of reality, and can't understand any other view.

I have known a lot of women and been very close to a good number. From the high school valedictorian to a real bimbo. When a woman loves you, nothing else matters, she is happy with you now. If someone is not good enough, you reject her so you don't get in a bad situation. So, once with a good woman, looks don't matter any more because you know the person so deeply. Unless you're shallow and see the person as an accessory to your life. It's like a book with a cover sleeve, the picture on the front is all that you know, but doesn't really represent the book, and it completely loses all meaning once you read the book.

The world is complex, and in a certain sense, what you believe becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, because you have to simplify it according to how you want to life. So make your version of life be what you want. Optimism serves you better than pessimism.

I have lived mostly in the real world, it's not what people online believe.

Note the bias in the study that you quoted, women who can't find a good partner. All of the women in a good relationship are not included. So you get a totally biases and incorrect idea. This is not how to find good information, so you're deluding yourself with false "facts." Smart people find a good partner, the leftovers are the ones with wrong ideas. Quoting those wrong ideas will depress you. Get the right ideas, be a good man and then you will be wanted by the good woman. Believing in yourself is the beginning of being good, the foundation to build on.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Half of people are below average. Everyone used to get married. So people did find someone.

I already addressed this. They will find someone, but it will end poorly if you're not attractive to her.

When a woman loves you, nothing else matters, she is happy with you now.

The question is whether she actually loves you. When she finds you attractive she is more likely to actually love you. If you act like a jackass you can wind up fucking that up though.

I have lived mostly in the real world, it's not what people online believe.

I was almost 25 years old before America Online became a thing.

Note the bias in the study that you quoted, women who can't find a good partner. All of the women in a good relationship are not included.

50+ years of real life experience says if she doesn't find you attractive she may still marry you but it won't end well.

[–]pikecat -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I was meeting girls online using usenet in 95. I have a lot of life experience. But I mostly met in real life. I have never known a relationship where the girl doesn't like me. Much of the time it's the girl coming to me, and I had more than one to choose from. Why would you be with someone who doesn't really want you?

Never, in anyone I have known has it ended poorly for someone due to looks. I did argue that one friend shouldn't marry his ice queen fiancée in 92, at 3 am he agreed with me. But he still married her. Divorced now.

Sounds like you're speaking from experience with a very small sample size.

I am not hot, but I have had hot and other girls adore me. They follow me into a public bathroom because they can't wait to get home for a shag.

I have made the point that physical attraction is not so relevant after you know someone well. It is possible to shack up with someone that you don't know well, but you shouldn't. Don't get with women who don't really know or care for you. I could always tell who liked me for the wrong reasons. How a woman behaves belies her feelings and intentions.

Maybe I find it easy to turn down a woman. My experience is quite different from yours. Just because you had one experience doesn't mean it is the rule.

One thing that I have learned is that every woman is completely different from every other, once you know them well. You can't say that they are all the same. The sameness is superficial.

[–]BlackPillPusher 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women always date up, no exceptions.

[–]EnteFetz 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Obviously yes, because do I have a choice? If she is the best I can get then why should I not date her? If she had better options than me she would not message me.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Problem is she will find better options later. Or she will have fear of missing out and will resent you. That relationship will sour, horribly.

[–]EnteFetz 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If she treats me badly I will end the relationship. If she wants to leave, then she will do so.

I don't understand your argument because I don't see the downside for myself. I get to spend time with a girl and if we vibe, we vibe and if we don't vibe both of us will move on.

That is exactly how dating works and nothing unusual.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You might wind up with an Amber Heard.

[–]EnteFetz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh well that is a risk, but I think the Internet has taught me enough about toxic relationships that I would notice that early enough.

[–]CowUnable4417 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She can think what she wants. I would date her if I find her attractive and also depending on her personality + how the date went and if I see mutual efforts.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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