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My Folk Theory on Hook Up Culture

September 13, 2022
2 upvotes

I look at hook up culture as a small business trend and capitalizing on the failing business of romance ( which isn't romance culture's fault but the poor conditions it's forced to exist in). Hook up culture is selling people the ideology of having sex without relationships in youth because they are too immature and dating serious when they mature up. It makes claims of why people should buy this product in this case it says stuff like people need variety before settling and the only way is to fuck as many people as you can or that people are too immature but human nature, or it's a sign of freedom for women( they did same thing with cigerates and alcohol). Hook up culture isn't just casual sex but it's a specific model of how relationship form. Sure I don't have problem with consumers consuming their product especially if the product doesn't cause harm in of itself. But I am curious about the product it's trying to sell and the conditions which allowed the sales of this product to increase. I am not going to argue against the claims in depth made by hook up culture and it's defenders but I want to explore the market conditions which sort of made business bad for romance which led to the rise of the popularity of hook up culture. So here is my folk theory about hook up culture I am not saying it's necessarily true but it's seems like it could be The problem I see is that hook up culture is a monopoly that became dominant in modern society. The social and economic conditions that gave rise to it's hegemony are factors such as commodification of sex through porn, prostitution, and sexual advertising, commodification of romance being dependent on stable on careers, busier working hours, alienation and isolation through competition and social oppression such as racism, embodiment of consumerist mindset of green is always greener, toxic relationships due to toxic masculinity, pesemismistic mindset, and constant relocation for job opportunities. I have done researching and found out yes hook up culture doesn't have any negative or strong negative affects on individual but it doesn't have a lasting positive impact and won't resolve deep psychological problems nor will it give you the same benefits as healthy relationship https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5731847/ https://healthcare.utah.edu/healthfeed/postings/2017/02/relationships.php

So my solution is to change the current economic and social conditions: to decomodify sex and romance, decrease working hours, create more social environment and encourage cooperation amongst each other, challenge the consumer mindset like how Dr. K does in his latest video on love in which he talks about focus on building happiness not looking for it in others he explains this better than me, teach healthy relationship skills and emotional regulation skills, encourage emotional expression in men, challenge pesemismistic mindset and foster a proactive optimistic mindset, create stable jobs for people. So I don't think slut shaming and double standard are the only thing will reduce casuals sex instead I think these new conditions will be more effective because people are willing to forgo casual sex for romance. In these conditions romance will become more wide spread and frequent thus outcompeting hook up culture and it's ideology that it tries to sell people. I get this is idealistic but but just for thought experiment I think romantics will win in this scenerio.

One last thing you noticed how people make fun of the past in this case the puritian culture. Anyone who critiques hook up culture in a meaningful way is called a puritian and they point out how bad things were. Don't get me wrong things were bad back then abortion was criminalized and women were slut shamed. But also have you noticed that companies mock the past. Like how apples mocked ibm and black berry to make their products look superior and more desirable. Just something to think about. Stay curious

I apologize if I made people who participate in hook up culture uncomfortable or if I came off as slut shaming. My intention is not to shame people who participate in this culture but rather ask all of us to actually examine this phenomena in a deeper way. This is all just my theory a game theory.

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Post Information
Title My Folk Theory on Hook Up Culture
Author roseonyxa
Upvotes 2
Comments 17
Date September 13, 2022 3:18 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/my-folk-theory-on-hook-up-culture.1139591
https://theredarchive.com/post/1139591
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/xdab52/my_folk_theory_on_hook_up_culture/
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Comments

[–]Opening_Pattern_301 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

haha, where im from hookup culture is mininal, however many foreigners go there expecting easy encounters with some thick latinas, most of the times however, they end up getting drugged and striped from all their belongings literally, sometimes they dont even wake up, but when it happens do you think people side with them? nope, people just say "thats what he gets for being a degenerate" or "he deserves it for engaging in trashy behavior" or "he is delusional if he though that woman had genuine feelings for him" "he is an idiot" etc, for the better or for the worst, people blame and shame the victim in this case and nobody challenges that status quo, why should they anyways?.

Now, i wonder how much would it affect their dating life if they were to tell the tale of "well i invited some random latina chick in the caribbean for a drink in hopes of scoring but i got drugged and robbed instead lololololol", do you think their potential dating prospects would side with them and feel any empathy? or do you think they would move on? i dont like hookup culture neither but this little cultural difference is though provoking imo

[–]Wide-Illustrator2906 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You must be from the Dominican Republic.

[–]Best_Illustrator_137 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lol, you’re saying a whole lot of nothing, and giving the “I’m different” excuse. Also, all of your solutions would just increase hookup culture, it’s a fundamental shift in our society as people become more free, but hookup culture didn’t just come about it’s always been big, it just got way bigger with the internet, there has always been people hooking up with others. When did it come into people’s minds that hookup culture just started existing, just cause you ain’t go through it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been going on for generations.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't think you read anything I wrote if I am going to be honest. Can you demonstrate how all my solution will increase hook up culture and can you provide evidence. I have heard this argument that hook up culture exist simply because we are more free but that's not very scientific. You need to demonstrate how you define freedom and you have to prove that freedom alone causes hook up culture to emerge. You have to prove that hook up culture as we know it today have always existed. You said I said a lot of nothing but clearly you are the one who said nothing. I explained my theory the best I can

[–]Best_Illustrator_137 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You said “decrease working hours” which gives people more freedom to meet others, social environment which also gives people more incentive to meet others and hookup, and saying “it’s the consumer mindset” how exactly do those 2 things quantify each other? As for freedom having to do with hookup culture, the freedom of choice for one, also it became way more prominent when things like contraceptions were invented or birth control, the freedom to meet people who aren’t in your immediate surroundings, less stigma on women having more than a like 2 partners before marriage. I read it and it still sounds like a nothing burger, your trying to correlate unrelated things or just your opinions as “solutions” as if they’re based in fact.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't get my opinions out of my ass if that's what you are assuming. I actually talked to people about this subject matter and they gave me these ideas. Reduced working hours allows us to have serious relationship because you have more time to spend with partners. The consumer mindset is fear about something what you have is not good as something you don't have. That's how people buy newest products because they feel like their missing out on new features etc. People in your immediate surroundings will have a greater influence on you than people who aren't. Meaning you will prioritize them over strangers. Stigma isn't what's preventing women from having 2 partners before marriage. We always had freedom to do whatever we want, I can literally hurt someone if I wanted to right now. Just because people have capacity or freedom to do something doesn't mean they have to do it. I don't see why anyone wants as much partners as possible, the number of partners in our past has to do with incompatibility not racking up numbers. That's all I can say because I have not done much investing yet to confirm my theories. But I also don't think you invalidated my theory because of freedom, you rely too much on the liberal conception of freedom

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So I don't think slut shaming and double standard are the only thing will reduce casuals sex instead

It does works as women stop doing it as she fears criticism.Women slut shame more especially mother.Thats why I am not indulging in it and my brother is due to this reason.

strong negative affects on individual but it doesn't have a lasting positive impact and won't resolve deep psychological problems nor will it give you the same benefits as healthy relationship.

Do you have any source for it because I want to see what effects man goes through.It is only true for women.Some good women really go for damaged man or experienced man and fix him.Some go for well established men with bit of high n count.Truth is some women have to built man for his next gf or wife who is going to get rewards.Hook up sometimes can make man more attractive to woman unless he is jobless. As long as there is Chad or high value man,hook up will continue to exist.

Your solution sounds good in paper but how many people will work for it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It does works as women stop doing it as she fears criticism.Women slut shame more especially mother.Thats why I am not indulging in it and my brother is due to this reason

I am against it because I don't want women to not want casual sex in fear of judgement, I want women and men to not want to engage in casual sex if that makes sense. For an example there is a guy who walks up to you and says I want to burn your house down but I am not going to because I am afraid to get judged vs another guy walking up to and says I love the paint job on your house. I prefer the latter guy who compliments the house over the one who wants to burn the house.

Do you have any source for it because I want to see what effects man goes through.It is only true for women.Some good women really go for damaged man or experienced man and fix him.Some go for well established men with bit of high n count.Truth is some women have to built man for his next gf or wife who is going to get rewards.Hook up sometimes can make man more attractive to woman unless he is jobless. As long as there is Chad or high value man,hook up will continue to exist.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5731847/ so I posted the source in my original post. I can post another source that talks about post coital dysphoria in men https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2018.1488326

What women find attractive in men are shaped by social conditions. Yes women attraction is partially biological but the biology isn't strong as social conditioning. I see biology playing a role in facial attraction and body motion attraction but not attraction to a social concept such as a promiscuous men. But that's my personal opinion.

Your solution sounds good in paper but how many people will work for it?

That's a good question I am not sure if it will work for everyone. There might always be a facet of population that engages in hooking up or casual sex depending on how we define casual sex but I do believe hook up warriors won't exist nor will hook up culture be as dominant as it is now. Romance will regain monopoly and hegomony on society at the very least but this is just my speculation here

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have done researching and found out yes hook up culture doesn't have any negative or strong negative affects on individual but it doesn't have a lasting positive impact and won't resolve deep psychological problems nor will it give you the same benefits as healthy relationship

Just read the synopsis only

  • The results show that CSREs had a small impact (small effect sizes) on subsequent psychological well-being, especially among girls; FWB relationships involving penetrative contact increased girls’ psychological distress and both their alcohol and drug consumption.
  • None of the CSREs influenced boys’ psychological well-being.

Just to get more into it. The study only followed the participants for 6 months.

From my perspective, hook up culture damage will manifest more as time goes on. The damage is really set after reaching age of 40 without a family. Loneliness can actually kill people. I think 80% of all people who die from loneliness are women above the age of 50. Women are also the biggest users of anti-depressants and alcohol.

So my solution is to change the current economic and social conditions: to decomodify sex and romance, decrease working hours, create more social environment and encourage cooperation amongst each other

It is idealistic. I don't think you understand the depth of human nature enough to propose such an idea. It's the sort of utopian paradise that everyone wishes for but no one wants to work for.

I don't remember the exact quote, but Alexander Nietzsche wrote: If you gave man cake and all he had to do was busy himself with the continuation of the species, after 1 week, he would break something just to see what will happen.

Humans aren't creatures that are meant to live in paradise. We are creatures that are meant to struggle with a load. That's the only way to keep us sane.

[–]Rook_Cross 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think the majority of people who die from loneliness are almost certainly men, just look at the suicide rates. You do get more female widows and that would be the real, potential reason, for female loneliness, not being a cat lady due to hook up culture. People with addictive personalities are much more likely to sleep around and consume drugs, as opposed to hooking up causing you to become a an alcoholic say. I think it's silly to believe males are unaffected by sleeping around. Look at how many of them "catch feelings", want an ex back, end up divorced (though this to may just be a case of people who sleep around are also the type to get divorced more no matter what). God warns off men from fornication for a reason, they aren't unharmed by it. If men want a society where women don't sleep around, then they have to not sleep around either and stick to good values as well. Thankfully the majority of women do not sleep around, though more than one partner is too many. Men sleep around more (never mind all the pornography they look at). It's only this current generation where they may have less real life sex partners, but not from lack of wanting, and not from being chaste (pornography). You want to stop promiscuity and it's ill effects, you need to stop men. But RP types would rather go on about men being unaffected.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, I will let you know now, dying from loneliness is actually a medical condition, and they actually classify the cause of death is from loneliness. Not suicide.

I forgot the number, it's not huge, maybe 5000/year in the USA die from loneliness. Majority of those deaths are women.

[–]IHateNormis -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why is slut shaming bad? It will help deter hook up culture.

The only thing that will definitely stop hook up culture is enforced monogamy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't think slut shaming is effective

[–]IHateNormis -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It used to work in the past, there were a lot less sluts

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Wait do you evidence?

[–]IHateNormis -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So females were just as slutty in the past? They are just as slutty in places like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hi

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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