SeXuAl HisToRy DoeSnT MatTer/OnLy LosErS CarE

I consider myself pretty open-minded to other perspectives and not being reactionary to peoples' likes/dislikes and experiences, but when I see a potential partner knowing that they've slept around a lot, there's this disgust that's hard to describe. I don't mean having long-term partners over the years. I mean sleeping around a lot.

It's not like a conscious process. Like logically, I want to think "they're free to do what they want with their body as long as they're tested and it's their life". And it's not even a fear of getting cheated on or anything like that. Fuck all the societal programming.

There's just this innate disgust that comes from the image of imagining what that would entail. It's like if you told me to suck a dick as a straight guy. It's hard to describe but there's this innate disgust that arises from the thought, similar to the feeling of looking at maggots.

So like yeah, I won't judge people for what they do on like a human-to-human basis. But when it comes to living my life, if you ask me whether I want to sleep in a room with my ideal partner but once every few days, she would walking around the house with maggots all over her, I couldn't do it. It's just disgusting. I don't need that in my life.

Maybe when it comes to sleeping with them, it's more like you're not attached or you don't care about them, so it's similar to a handshake with no visible maggots. But then when you have to live with the long-term and build a connection, it's like removing the clothing that reveals all those maggots. That's the best way to describe it.

And then if they lie about having that past, it's like a chemical that makes the maggots hide throughout the day. But then as soon as you find out, the chemical is no longer effective and now you're seeing the maggots again.

If you want to go even further than that, since I'd argue that most people get that feeling of disgust, now imagine your friends and family finding out that you partner has maggots on her and you were okay with living with that arrangement. What does that say about you? And let's say that they're all understanding. Why would you want to deal with that when you don't have to?

Someone could argue "oh it's just maggots. It's not like they'll harm you. Just flick them off. She's a great person" (flicking maggots meaning ignoring the disgust). It's like yeah but if I had to choose between living like that, or living alone, then I'd rather live alone.