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Ugly man marries a mail order bride from Asia, apparently that makes it "human trafficking".

September 4, 2022
8 upvotes
Crosspost "I'm getting married to a mail order bride very soon" from /r/TrueOffMyChest:

So I'm a male from Singapore, in my 30s, not attractive, been trying to find a gf for a while but I just kinda gave up. Sometime 4 momths ago one of my online friends told me about some "matchmaking agencies" who find brides for men from Singapore in Vietnam and well, as a spur of the moment thing, I just straight up called and did it.

After a while, I had 100s of girls to choose from. It was surreal but I'm no fool, I know fiscal security plays a huge role. The guy who runs the agency actually told me I'll have an insane amount of options when I told him I make around $200k a year. At the same time, I just feel like it's better to be loved for what you can provide than just die lonely and old.

So at last, I picked one and we're getting married soon. I feel like I'm going insane, probably the most rash thing I've done my entire life. But I had to share this someone sinc I'e excited/nervous all week and I have no family to share the news with.


Posted by Maneethrowaway | 4 September 2022 | Link

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Post Information
Title Ugly man marries a mail order bride from Asia, apparently that makes it "human trafficking".
Author Antisocial_Nihilist
Upvotes 8
Comments 46
Date September 4, 2022 6:07 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/ugly-man-marries-a-mail-order-bride-from-asia.1139613
https://theredarchive.com/post/1139613
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/x5thjm/ugly_man_marries_a_mail_order_bride_from_asia/
Comments

[–]Antisocial_NihilistRedPill[S,M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link

As a HAPA (Japanese/US), this is pretty much how my mother and father met, although my father isn't really unattractive per se but he was very socially awkward.

My mother wasn't abused or trafficked. From what I've been told and what I've seen living in Japan, mail order brides are like 99.9% legitimate. Many are just Asian women looking to marry out of thier country and date foreigners.

Does human trafficking happen in this industry? Almost certainly. But they make up such a minuscule amount of mail order brides that to immediately come to that conclusion from the OP is just absurd.

https://youtu.be/kU0KkaCQFhI

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My mom was from Russia living in another country and my dad was an American when they married. My mom told me she wanted it a lot and they actually married through a matchmaking service like this for Orthodox Christians lol as they told me. They've been married since forever, I don't think modern Redditors can comprehend a relationship not based on muh instant attraction from Tinder, becoming sidechick number 10 for Chad Thundercock, OMG he has 50k followers on IG and muh dick size but for the past 1000+ years, marriages happened based on men providing fiscal security. They can't seem to understand that in many parts of the world, this is still the norm

[–]Antisocial_NihilistRedPill[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My mom went into her marriage with that same attitude. She grew up in Japan when it was still somewhat traditionalist and conservative. What she sought in a marriage is VERY different than what modern women in Japan do now.

My mom signed up for a matchmaking/bride agency with the mentality of: "I'm going to find a partner in the United States, and we're going to work together to get things done and raise children."

So my dad eventually found her through the agency and he flew to Japan to introduce himself and meet her parents and they all agreed on the marriage. After paying the fee to the agency and family, he took her home on a K1 Visa and that was that. They stayed together until my dad passed away.

Now days that "traditionalism" is dying out, people seem to be only interested in relationships based on instant gratification from looks and wealth.

[–]Kappador66 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Holy fuck all the women in the comments are malding.

I'm sceptical of marriage, especially if you don't know the person. He should just use his money to get laid, not sign a contract.

[–]Antisocial_NihilistRedPill[S] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

In the comments, the OP even said that him and his fiance talked for months before agreeing to marry and both her and her family were excited about the arrangement.

And in the OP, the dating/bride agency she signed up for was one she had to PAY FOR and give EXPLICIT CONSENT to use.

People don't seem to understand this. Mail order bride agencies are a legitimate service that women often PAY FOR out of thier own pocket to use.

And after all that, people are still calling the OP a "human trafficker" and "rapist".

Jesus Christ. I'm not even sure what to say anymore.

[–]TriggurWarning 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Malders gonna mald. If there was some incredible country for women to go find the perfect man and bring him home men would be malding just the same. It's just men are a lot easier to please than women, because their standards are so high.

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

how fucking dare a man pay for legitimate legal voluntary services from a consenting adult!!!!!!!!!

on a more serious note: this guy's wallet is going to BLEED

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good for him.His bride is lucky.Now both can live in peace lol

[–]pikecat 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The comments on that post are completely insane. People who know nothing about the world, and who probably never had a proper relationship themselves, judging people from the other side of the world, who they have no idea about, to their holier than thou standards. They make themselves look like idiots to those who know that part of the world.

I lived in Asia for a long time. Not only do people in different countries have different ideas, every person has different ideas. And they can think for themselves.

[–]EulenWatcher 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'll copy my other comment.

I find such marriages highly questionable and I do think that women that go for them open themselves for all kind of abuse. I'm from a country where mail brides are somewhat common, although not as common as in Philippines or some other Asian countries.

From one hand, I guess it can be mutually beneficial. Mind that I'm talking about women who choose it for themselves willingly, it's entirely different story in case of trafficking or being forced into it by your family. If a woman is okay with doing what's pretty much a sex work just with one "client" and if a man is okay with paying for this illusion of relationship, it can work for both of them and maaaybe it can even evolve into something more. It's probably not the worst variant for women who don't have much or any opportunities in their home countries.

From the other hand, there's trafficking, families forcing their daughters into it and it gives so much opportunity for a man to abuse his "mail bride", because she's entirely dependent on him. And it's still sex work in a way or even worse in some cases, because prostitutes at least don't have to perform 24/7. I'm also not sure what kind of attitude men have towards women they basically ordered and I'd guess the quality of these men tend to...lack a lot. Just as with sex workers' clients if you're okay with ordering a person, it tells a lot about you and your character.

On the other note, I've seen girls who wanted to be mail brides not so much out of the need, but because they wanted a fancy lifestyle and/or they glamourized foreign men. They thought that if a guy is Swiss or American, he's 100% better than what we have here and lots of them got a really rude awakening afterwards, but some did get lucky.

[–]keepin2002 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I’m dumb can someone please explain me how this is trafficking or the context behind this making it related to trafficking?

[–]Fit-Faithlessness149 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Women just don't like it when people find a cheat code for an otherwise unsuccessful love life. Think about it. They are more likely to slut shame than men when a homely girl uses sex to get a man out of her league. They shame men for using prostitutes, mail order brides or or otherwise more attractive women out of their league by using money. They shame men for dating younger by using status and money.

[–]Bdog5k 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man, this is true af.

They hate to see it. Like, a mismatch makes woman seethe.

[–]BoogersAndSugar 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

When women find a guy too ugly or short, they don't just reject the guy, they want EVERYONE ELSE to reject him, too. That's pretty fucking sick.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Indeed. And people say don’t take it personally when they are rejected. Ha!

[–]TriggurWarning 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I highly recommend Ukrainian women for anyone interested in taking the plunge, once the war settles down of course.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just move to the Philippines, it's better. EE is a little harder lol

[–]TriggurWarning 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a decent place as well.

[–]Incellius_Maximus 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"just move to the Philippines" Some of us are poor and uneducated (me). Even if we could get the money to move there, what are we supposed to do once we are there?

[–]figosnypes 3 points4 points  (44 children) | Copy Link

American and Anglo women get butthurt anytime a non-Asian guy(not just white) gets with an East Asian woman, whether or not it's a mail order bride situation. They basically try to paint it as always being the product of some racist fetish or economic inequality. In reality they just find foreigners more attractive because they are exotic. Women in many parts of east Asia rarely ever see white or black or middle eastern or Indian men, so of course they will find these men more attractive than women here will. Women here in America have an unconscious white supremacist complex so foreigners don't have the same advantage here. So when you really think about it it's funny how white women in America prefer white men but then get mad when white men or even the non-white men that they ignore prefer Asian women over them LOL. The reason this is mostly around Asian women and not as much with women of other races is because Asian women are the only ones that white women consistently feel threatened by. White women generally think they're hotter than all other races except Asians, mainly because of their fixation on slender/petite as the beauty ideal.

[–]kokorwqac 6 points7 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

White women aren't threatened by asian women, they just know that white guys who marry asian women (especially if it's a third world or poorer asian country) are kind of losers who couldn't get laid any other way, it's the same way people would shame an old betabuxxers or whatever

Also a white woman as long as she isn't fat has a higher smv than all other women literally everywhere, i don't even think white women are prettier than asian or black or brown women, in fact white women are overrated but you're coping if you think an average asian girl has more smv than average white girl globally

Plus you could say the same about white men malding when a white girl dates a non-white guy, and i mean any kind of non-white at that, asian included

[–]figosnypes 4 points5 points  (30 children) | Copy Link

white guys who marry asian women are kind of losers who couldn't get laid any other way

Lol amazing how white women resort to straight up racism to protect their fragile egos.

(especially if it's a third world or poorer asian country)

Ahh ok especially if it's a poorer Asian country. But still also a loser if it's a rich Asian country, right? Because white men worth anything date within their own race? Or something like that? White power? Gtfo.

Also it's funny how you single out white men, as if men of other races don't often go for Asian women. I myself am middle eastern and I prefer Asians and Latinas over white women.

Also a white woman as long as she isn't fat has a higher smv than all other women literally everywhere

Hahahahhaha. Well, this is certainly what delusional white women in America believe, but it's definitely not the truth. Hate to break this to you, but if you are living in a predominantly white country, a non-white woman of your same attractiveness level has a higher smv than you, simply by virtue of her being more exotic. The same doesn't apply to non-white men only because of American women's deeply internalized perception of white men are higher status. Which btw doesn't exist in other parts of the world including in Asia. In Asia, unlike here, I have the same status as a white guy. If you want to have a higher smv, go somewhere like Latin America or the Middle East where white women are seen as exotic.

Plus you could say the same about white men malding when a white girl dates a non-white guy, any kind of non-white at that.

I could and I would. But it isn't as rampant as it is with women. Probably thanks to disgusting feminist culture which gives women the green light to be entitled and even racist when it is in the spirit of raging against men.

[–]kokorwqac 3 points4 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

I'm not white nor from america though, it's not really racism to say a guy, especially a white guy who gets a mail order bride from an asian country probably does it because he couldn't get laid in his own country, same applies to eastern european(despite them being white) countries to some extent, basically any third world country

Men of other races also go for asian women, however asian women being regarded as a common preference honestly only applies to anglo or western european countries, in where i live they aren't liked as much. And even in america black or indian women complain a lot about being seen as uglier, which makes me think darker skin is regarded as unfortunately uglier there too.

A lot of non-white men report outright harrassment for dating white girls which is more than just internet gossip but ok.

(white men aren't my first preference either, i like all races but especially east asian)

[–]figosnypes 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

especially a white guy who gets a mail order bride from an asian country probably does it because he couldn't get laid in his own country

Except you didn't say "gets a mail order bride" you said "marries". Unless you think every Asian woman who marries a white guy is a mail order bride.

however asian women being regarded as a common preference honestly only applies to anglo or western european countries

I am pretty certain this is false. I live in America and I can tell you that it's not only white men preferring Asian women here and that lots of immigrant men from non-white non-Anglo countries have that preference as well. I've seen it with lots of Indian guys in particular.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Based.

[–]Admirable_Bee_8714 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

Any man who values his sanity would prefer Latinas and Asians over white chicks. The only thing a modern day western woman is useful for is to be pumped and dumped.

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

asian girl fetishists tend to be bisexual femboy lovers or losers looking for easy pussy too often, i pity these poor girls.

[–]Antisocial_NihilistRedPill[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

White women aren't threatened by asian women, they just know that white guys who marry asian women are kind of losers who couldn't get laid any other way

Thanks for proving our point?

The people in the OP are not angry because he used a bride agency, they are mad because he openly admitted to being an undesirable man who used this service.

You think if Nicholas Cage (who is married to an Asian woman) met his wife through a bride agency, people would be up in arms about it calling him a "sex trafficker" and "rapist"? Probably not.

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not saying i'm necessarily angry at a loser betabuxxing or whatever, just saying that thinking white women actually feel threatened by asian women is cope when their higher ''smv' ' mostly comes from the fact not all, but a lot of asian women tolerating losers more especially if they are from poorer asian countries, same for eastern europe to a lesser extent. I'm merely pointing out women aren't jealous of greasy weeb or the outcast nerd liking asian women when normies usually don't put them over caucasian women,this doesn't mean i'm angry about the dudes.

(but in the case of mail order, because it a lot of the time isn't a healthy relationship and asia is indeed home for a lot of human trafficking)

You can even reverse the genders honestly, kpop fans are kind of clowned on and i honestly think liking asian guys is more shamed than liking asian girls at this point, based on the reaction female content creators get when they get an asian bf or even merely like kpop/k-drama, but asian dudes aren't high smv, why do they care? Probably because they think a loser or low smv guy shouldn't get a girl, just like the girls when they see a betabuxxer or seamaxxer

Nicholas cage looks like a pedophile next to his recent wife and a lot of people online were grossed out, what made you think people celebrated them? (they also are grossed out when the wife isn't asian but has similar dynamics, before anyone points out racism, 20 something girl marrying 70 year old dudes isn't celebeated anymore at all even if the guy is hvm)

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Asian women are the only ones that white women consistently feel threatened by.

To what extent is it true?

I don't know but I do follow vindicitarate sub where you rate celebrities.I have seen they (I am assuming as most redditors are western)mostly rate Asians or blacks lower than white.Even,for white celebrities,they rate some average higher (maybe I am wrong). I was surprised when they said Miranda Kerr is weird looking.

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not true, while i don't think asian girls are ugly or that it's wrong to like them, the reason they shame men who marry them are because they would be incels or losers in their own country. Average white girl has a higher smv than women of all races

[–]figosnypes 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"I'm not saying asian girls are ugly or that it's wrong to like them, I'm just saying that only an incel loser would date them."

Uh huh yeah ok.

[–]kokorwqac -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not only, but often. This doesn't just apply to asian countries either, it applies to many other situations

A betabuxxer could marry a beautiful girl, could still get shamed

[–]figosnypes 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Celebrity rating is weird and not a good representation of what people find attractive. People rate celebrities higher because they know them from movies and not just based in the pictures. Since most well known celebrities are white of course the whites will rank higher. But in real life your average Asian girl in America gets way more attention than your average white girl. The same affect doesn't happen as much with black girls both because black girls are pretty common in America so the exotic factor isn't there and because of weird racial stereotypes lots of guys have about them.

Regardless, what women assume is more attractive isn't based on what men actually find attractive and is more so them projecting based on their own preferences. Women's beauty ideal tends to be slender young looking white guys. So yes they assume men like white girls most but they also assume men like slender young looking girls most. And Asians tend to be more slender and younger looking than white women. This actually explains why white women have such a weird complex where they feel superior to Asian women while at the same time feeling threatened by them.

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

you're talking like the men on celebrity rating subs don't get mad when a young looking asian guy gets rated high either, i see it way more than the reverse.

though they also get mad when it's a white guy who isn't a ken doll either so...

[–]figosnypes 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've personally not seen that, but sure I'll believe it happens. But the difference is, that men's disparagement of women who date Asian men or men of any race is not accepted and validated by the mainstream as being a legitimate grievance against something toxic. No, it is regarded as incel drivel. Meanwhile, the hate for men who date Asian women is practically a tenet within the mainstream feminist platform now. I mean, there is literally card in one of the Cards Against Humanity expansion decks which sets up a quip where men who date Asian women are the punchline.

Furthermore, does the backlash against these specific Asian celebrities even have anything to do with their race or is it because they legitimately look too young for those women to be drooling over? Is it just the Asian guys or is there the same backlash over adolescent looking white Tik Tok boys? Personally I don't think the K-Pop stars look that young, they just look like pretty 20somethings with lots of makeup. But there does seem to be an unsettling trend of women preferring guys who literally look like (and often are) children. Like, yeah, I thought it was cringe for grown ass women to swoon over Justin Bieber when he was 15. And one that absolutely shocked me is these weird pervy girls who thought Finn Wolfhard from Stranger Things was hot back in season 1 when he was literally like 12. Actually I once had a date with this 28 year old girl (ironically she was Chinese) where we watched the horror movie Insidious 2 where the main character is a 13 year old boy, and part way into the movie she blurted out that "he's so hot". When women express attraction to males who are that young it is literally hebophilia and us getting put off by it is not the same as a white bitch getting mad because a 40 year old man is dating a 40 year old Asian woman who looks like she's 30.

[–]FishTank34 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Playing devils advocate here, could it be that the “fee” that women pay is just a cover up for ransom money? All I’m aware of is that large crime organizations in Asia (Yakuza, Triads, etc) have large businesses in human trafficking and might try their best to make it seem as if it’s a legitimate service. Here, the “fee” maybe be plausible deniability for ransom and kidnapping as the Yakuza have done such things before. OP, maybe your parents were an exception but neither you nor I truly know how these women ended up with these organizations.

If the service is legitimate, I’m not against the idea of getting a mail order bride, although it would make for a terrible marriage most of the time.

[–]darksoul1622NeutralPill 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

I am sorry this could genuinely be a woman who wants to go to another country and loves men from that culture but I heard so many horror stories about this industry that I just can't say it sits right with me but hey if it is a reputable company and they met and talked and there is enthusiastic consent then fine but if she is doing this just to get out of harms ways or because her family needs money I can't say in good conscience that this is okay

[–]Antisocial_NihilistRedPill[S] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

My mother's and father's experience with this (and from what I've seen and heard living in Japan), is from Japan, and to a smaller extent South Korea.

So I'm not sure how mail order brides work in other countries like Singapore, but Japan and South Korea are very gynocentric and have lots of protections for women.

If the tradition of being a mail order bride was really nothing but a horrible despotic thing, people would be rioting in the streets to end them.

But oh wait! They're not. On the contrary, a lot of Japanese women like the idea of being a mail order bride, especially if they can hook up with a white foreigner. They and their family can get a large sum of money for the marriage arrangement, and she gets to date a white man and move to America or some other European country and enter the country with a K1 Visa, and even become a citizen within 3 years.

I honestly think if the Japanese government were to suddenly ban the practice mail order brides, women would be throwing a huge hissy fit over it.

[–]pikecat 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Do Japanese women really like white guys that much, or is it just a minority? I lived in Hong Kong but spent a lot of time in Japan. I had a Japanese girlfriend, who was rather independent minded, she liked to get a dark tan. Japan is a rich country, they have no big need for foreign husbands. I found no such sentiment in Japan, even the contrary, there was some minor sentiment against foreigners. However, in a large group of people, there will be some of all view points.

However, I do know that internet dating has made international dating very popular, and I haven't been to Japan in quite some time.

[–]Antisocial_NihilistRedPill[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

To put it simply: YES.

Japanese women do like white guys that much. There is even a nickname for them which is "Gaijin hunter" (外人ハンター).

https://youtu.be/1BTjZKxYoUE

[–]pikecat 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pretty sure that that wasn't a thing when I was there. I think that it was seen as bad for a Japanese girl to be seen with a foreigner, then. I saw very, very few mixed couples, even in Tokyo, unlike Hong Kong where it was common.

I met my Japanese girl in Thailand, not in Japan. She was neither positive or negative on it. She did say that some people would see her as bad for being with a foreigner. That was in Kyushi as opposed to more cosmopolitan Tokyo.

It does seem trendy now.

What's the reason for liking white guys. Is it fashion, or something else? I know some women feel the Western guys treat them better.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Asians have the highest out-of-race marriage rate, and it’s predominantly with white people.

[–]pikecat 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your probably using US statistics. The minority will always show a higher rate than the majority, it's just math. That doesn't really mean much.

[–]darksoul1622NeutralPill 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So I'm not sure how mail order brides work in other countries like Singapore, but Japan and South Korea are very gynocentric and have lots of protections for women.

Japan is "gynocentric" I seriously have my doubts about that equal yes but gynocentric that is a bit far but you live in Japan so I will respect your opinion here but still protection in Japan is not the problem the problem is that a lot of trafficed girls are forced to stay with their "husband" or otherwise the trafficers are going to hurt their families plus being in a country that you don't speak the language or have any connections is I think you will agree an easily exploitable position

But oh wait! They're not. On the contrary, a lot of Japanese women like the idea of being a mail order bride, especially if they can hook up with a white foreigner. They and their family can get a large sum of money for the marriage arrangement, and she gets to date a white man and move to America or some other European country and enter the country with a K1 Visa, and even become a citizen within 3 years.

Everything I have read about Japan says that they don't really like marrying foreigners but again if you say that they do I suppose have a valid opinion

I honestly think if the Japanese government were to suddenly ban the practice mail order brides, women would be throwing a huge hissy fit over it.

I highly doubt that women who would use that service would have probably already be out of the country and thus not likely to protest but that is just my opinion

[–]Play_MutedDark Red Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ugly hoes mad lmao

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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