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Why does America care so much about race in dating?

March 9, 2023

Genuinely curious, I feel as though America seems to care much more about race in the context of dating than any other country I’ve been in. This is something that was pointed out to me by U/Black_Griffin1.

As someone who grew up in Switzerland, a very white country, this question never really arose before. For those of you who live in America, the country I’m currently living in now, why do you think this is the case? Especially given how much more ethnically diverse it is.

From my understanding, dating has become very politicized. Like most things studies have been conducted, again pointed out to me by the aforementioned user, which show that there are racial bias in attraction. This isn’t all that surprising, but I’m genuinely curious if it’s universal. Moreover, in countries like America wear white men are stereotyped as conservative and women are stereotyped as liberal why such an attraction would even exist? I understand that not everyone goes into dating looking for a soulmate or a long-term relationship, but it seems to me that if men are seen as sexist and or misogynistic, but they would be so fundamentally different from the qualities that women want that would undermine any possible attraction.

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[–]CaptainLee9137 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Race is a tool of the media, “weapons of mass distraction” as I like to call them. Most people get a rise out of ridonkulous things.

Realistically speaking though, the vast majority of Americans probably aren’t too concerned about issues like race in dating, at least not as it is made out to be.

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Then why do so many people on this sub lament the fact that they’re not Caucasian?

[–]firecats1 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

because they either want white pussy or think somehow their inceldom doesn't also apply to white men(even though white privilege existed years ago, nowadays it doesn't exst)

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

But do white women in America even have that strong of a racial preference when it comes to dating? Given how women are more sympathetic than men and more likely to care about social justice issues like discrimination, why would they discriminate in dating?

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

all races generally prefer their own.

[–]LiftSushiDallas 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I don't care at all what anyone thinks of Race and whether it should factor into dating.

I absolutely have racial preferences and dealbreakers that factor into who I will have sex with, date and get into a relationship with and I'm not going to change my mind or be shamed or guilted out of them.

[–]-AvatarAang- 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Racial preferences are fine, racial prejudices are not - a distinction worth highlighting.

[–]LiftSushiDallas 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

No, racial prejudices are fine as long as you aren't aggressing against someone.

[–]-AvatarAang- 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Depends on what you mean by "aggressing against someone".

Would you consider an employer being less likely (or outright refusing) to hire a particular ethnic group due to his pre-existing racial prejudices as "aggressing" against them? I would.

Physical violence and verbal insults are not the only unacceptable manifestations of racial prejudices.

[–]LiftSushiDallas 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

We are just talking about the sexual marketplace here. It is absolutely fine for me to rule OUT entire races and rule IN other races.

[–]-AvatarAang- 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, but you'd hopefully do so on the basis of preference rather than prejudice.

It's your life and you can do as you like, but I wouldn't want to live in a society where the majority of people excluded entire ethnicities from their dating pool on the basis of preconceived biases against that demographic (prejudices which would naturally extend beyond the sexual marketplace, and would color their perception of that ethnic group altogether), as opposed to merely not finding the ethnic features associated with that demographic to be physically attractive to themselves personally.

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No one said you had too, I’m just saying I don’t think it’s as widespread as many people on here suggest

[–]crypto_druid 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because America cares about race in ever faucet of life.

America is a racially charged country, where media and education is consistently focusing on race, consistently teaching people of how they are different, instead of teaching people how they are the same.

It's why racial tensions are higher than other multicultural countries like uk and Australia, but those countries are trying to catch up with USA

This is divide and conquer. Social engineering at it's finest. While you got the peasants worrying about eacnotnerm they ain't worrying about what their slave masters are up to

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Okay, I generally agree with this sentiment. However, I don’t how it relates to the supposed preference for white men in dating

[–]crypto_druid 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i think more people date within their own race tbh

[–]FortniteAbobusWhitePill 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why do people care about looks so much?

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t think race is correlated with attractiveness. There are good looking people of all ethnicities.

[–]FortniteAbobusWhitePill -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You think wrong.

[–]SoldierExcelsior -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's everywhere race religion class it's not exclusive to America

[–]TelephonicRugPeddler -4 points-3 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

Humans are innately more attractive to light skin.

White people have light skin and cultural dominance in the US.

The US has a white population of 60%, excluding white Hispanics.

Since 40% of the population is not white, race is brought to the forefront more often than Switzerland.

Therefore, white men dominate dating in the US, at the expense of other men.

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] 3 points4 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Source that humans are universally more attracted to light skin?

Also, I wouldn’t call a 60-40 split a big enough disparity for white men to “dominate” the market

[–]TelephonicRugPeddler 2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

1)) Understanding history and modern “preferences”. From every corner of the globe to every culture, even those without contact with one another, light skin was and is desired. From Africa to Asia to pre-Colombian America.

Even when Europe was a slum sh!thole while the Arabs were advancing civilization, white slaves fetched higher prices beyond basic supply/demand.

Today, there are plenty of examples in Asia of skin lightening products. In India, most Brahmins, the highest status caste, are Northerners, who have lighter skin.

In black communities, there is known colorism, where “light skins” are given higher status than “dark skins”.

The only counterexample is Northern Europeans, and even they draw the line at a golden/Mediterranean skin complex - still white, just not as pasty.

If any other “preference” emerged so strongly and independently across human cultures and millennia of human history then we would agree that it is innate, why should this be different?

I’m sure there are studies on it, but this just seems to be common sense.

2) It certainly is when 60% of men are single but only 30% of women are. 80/20 and Chad-sharing are well-known by now, and white men are over-represented in the elite group of men that actually get laid in the US.

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How are white men over represented in terms of getting laid?

[–]firecats1 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

they aren't, blacks and hispanics have lower virginity rates.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

1-if %60 of men are single(which i would say only exists because the list is single, not celibate and women are more likely to consider their situations as relationships, i think actual inceldom rate is more like %30) then this means most of those men are white as well simply because there's not enough ethnics for such a stat to even exist. %75 of usa is white if you count white-hispanics.

also virginity rates are lower in blacks and hispanics by pure percentage than in whites. it's moslty east asian/indian population that is effected by inceldom purely for race in usa not because of their physical features, but because usa was blatantly racist xenophobic in mainstream media 00's to asians in a way they wouldn't dare to do it for blacks(outside of fringe edgy incel communities everyone considers to be losers) that and being ''high-inhib'' like asians just doesn't work in a loud and brash american cultural enviorenment.

2- from what i know, dark skin/light skin matters in blackmen only if they want to date out, otherwise the women are much harshly judged by color of their skin in those communities, in fact i think darker men are preferred.

though considering how much black women are hated, i guess a lighter dude who can outdate easier is higher status by this association.

[–]TelephonicRugPeddler 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

1 - that’s your assumption and it’s a false one. If you actually read the study, the questions asked were clear cut:

A) are you married, divorced, never married?

B) Are you in a committed relationship? (Answer options being yes, no, or no answer.)

C) what’s your status? (Options being Partnered, married, living with partner, in a committed relationship, SINGLE, looking for a relationship, not looking for a relationship).

It was literally that simple. It is clear women are dating a small, elite group of men. There is so much evidence smacking you in the face yet le Reddit simps will do anything possible to avoid this reality.

2) Virginity rates don’t mean anything. If only 50% of white men are having sex, they can still constitute 90% of sexual encounters. Even if a Hispanic guy had sex after Homecoming 7 years ago.

3) Colorism knows no sex and it’s well known that light skins are desired by both men and women.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

1-''are you in a committed relationship'' again, could easily mean you see yourself as a fuckboy.

and if not,could also mean a lot of females are dating older men, but i kinda doubt it considering older women don't really face problems in finding relationships if this was the case

2-they would constitute most of the sexual encounters because of being a majority, do you not kow how percentages work? dumb argument.

3- how come most of the interracial is of darker men and lighter women then? the only wmxf that significantly outnumbers the reverse is wmaf, and asians can get pretty light skinned to begin with.

[–]TelephonicRugPeddler 0 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy Link

1 - the other 3 make it clear that a person who is single would report being single. The fact that your argument is “bro men are single at a rate two times higher than women is because men are just lying” is quite frankly ridiculous. It is clear women are dating the same small group of men. You can ignore the MOUNDS of evidence all you want but it is there.

2 - they don’t constitute the majority. Especially in urban centers, white men can be as low as 15% of the male population, not even a plurality in some cases. In fact, top 3 US cities by population:

NYC - 36% of men are white

LA - 30% or so of men are white

Chicago - 32% or so of men are white

Are you even from the US? The overwhelming majority of the time I saw young women with young men in NYC in a relationship was a tall white guy. How’s that for a “dumb argument” you clown?

3 - lol it’s not, white men account for the majority of interracial marriages, even when accounting for population adjustments.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

1-i didn't say men were lying, i said that single doesn't mean ''celibate'' to begin with.

it could also be age gaps cucking young men tbh but i doubt it's prevalent enough to effect it more than %15 max.

3-again, only for asian women, but black men are twice as likely to intermarry compared to black women for example, i think indian men marry interracially more than indian women too. hispanic is pretty much the same for both sexes

[–]TelephonicRugPeddler 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

1 - the imbalance still does not add up, and adding that report with other reports showing increased virginity rates for men while flat/no increase for women once again shows women are dating the same small group of men.

3 - that still doesn’t disprove that white men are preferred, at all. If there are 10 black people, and 2 black men are intermarried but only 1 black woman is then yes black men are more likely to intermarry.

All that shows is outliers, which exist. And these outliers are probably “he’s extremely tall, athletic, with excellent forward growth and a strong jawline” which always supersedes race preferences.

Again, countless studies out there showing a preference for white men, globally, and you choose to ignore it.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

1-there's data showing virginity for females is also increasing, also you don't think age gaps could be a reason?

3- it would mean that white preference in ethnic women is false, and saying white preference in ASIAN women is more accurate, but asian women are the outliers among ethnic women.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

you ignored my point when i asked, you say ethnic women but only asian women in particular have this preference.

basically, if white men started cucking any race of males besides east asian, you'd have a point, do you see this, tell me about what the situation is while excluding wmaf.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

if humans are innately attracted to white skin, why does this only really apply to women?

black men and white men are actually tied, or at least black men being the second. it's not light skin that gives white men advantage, it's social status. men are more likely to dislike racial features and apply this logic to women, women in usa are racist as well but it's not about skin color or features, more like ''social and/or economic status associated with this ethnicities culture in usa'' smv according to race will make more sense when you think of the list according to this.

but for women, black women, darker indian women and non-white passing ethnics outside of lighter skinned asians are somehwat generally disliked in usa.

[–]TelephonicRugPeddler 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Because men don’t have the privilege of being picky unless they’re literal Gods. Most men settle for something realistic, which is something below their league typically, so things like height, weight, skin color, while considered, aren’t dealbreakers.

Women, who are “choosers”, and have countless options, begin to introduce various criteria from height to income to education.

Wrong. Women like white guys more whether it’s because of height or status. This is true all over the world.

No women are disliked in the US. They’re just upset that they aren’t attractive enough to retain Chads. That’s it. I’ve never known a single woman who didn’t have a host of suitors in the US, they just weren’t happy because they weren’t attractive enough.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

then why are most interracials consisting of darker men and lighter women, the only wmxf that outnumbers the xmwf equivalent statistically is wmaf


[–]TelephonicRugPeddler 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Because you’re lying and I’d love to see your data.

(White) women are the least likely to interracially marry aside from Asian women, who marry white men, which straight up proves my point.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

they are least likely to intermarry because they are the majority to begin with, white men are also the male group least likely to intermarry because of the same reason.

here's your data, image from pewresearch: https://i.redd.it/ya3hzaexioma1.png

[–]TelephonicRugPeddler 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t think you understand how statistics works, lol.

I’m also starting to think you aren’t even from the US and haven’t lived this reality, which is equally hilarious.

They are least likely to intermarry when adjusted for population and when their racial preferences were evaluated.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

did you ignore the image, i got you data.

[–]firecats1 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

social engineering and media. a country with a near %100 homogenous population likely doesn't have media brainwashing them to overrate or to bash certain ethnicities.

[–]Dreaminofthepasts 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

As someone who grew up in Switzerland, a very white country, this question never really arose before. For those of you who live in America, the country I’m currently living in now, why do you think this is the case? Especially given how much more ethnically diverse it is.

Doesn't that answer the question

[–]MiamiSunrise12[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just because a country is diverse doesn’t explain why ethnic preferences arise in dating. If people are exposed to other cultures and ethnicities they shouldn’t feel judgemental towards them.

[–]Dreaminofthepasts 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Arguably one issue is that it's in this weird middle ground

Not most homogenous, but not most diverse

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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