~ archived since 2018 ~

Why is it wrong to want to marry someone who treat you like a queen?

September 1, 2022
10 upvotes

Why are people go against men who suck up to their women? Idk how one would describe my husband, but he does everything to make me happy. He’s stepping up and he tries to do almost all the chores, he just puts 90% of his (sizeable) income into our joint account in which mostly I manage, he does all the night waking of our baby, the cooking in our home, etc. why is that a bad thing?

When I’m happy, he gets happy endings and a happy wife. He gets a happy wife which means he also has a happy life.

Why are most people so against this?

(No, I’m not a total slum who does nothing - but lately, he’s been doing a lot more than me and we both happier).

Edit: i don’t know why people just keep assuming he’s the sole breadwinner. How much one makes is irrelevant, it matters more how much one works. But if y’all keep being focusing on it, I make more. I also invest more.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/AllPillDebate.

/r/AllPillDebate archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title Why is it wrong to want to marry someone who treat you like a queen?
Author InfamousBake1859
Upvotes 10
Comments 101
Date September 1, 2022 2:14 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/why-is-it-wrong-to-want-to-marry-someone-who-treat.1139626
https://theredarchive.com/post/1139626
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/x38r46/why_is_it_wrong_to_want_to_marry_someone_who/
Comments

[–]infinitofluxo 19 points20 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

We wouldn't be against it if it worked for most people. But we know it does not. Most women get bored of perfect hubbies, lose interest in sex, develop fetishes for the wild ones out there.

It is not a mentality that will help most men. If you are happy and planning to spend the rest of your life making your husband sexually pleased with a great family, then I can say he is a lucky guy and you were worth the immense risk he is facing.

[–]you-arent-reading-it 1 point2 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

And... Besides the stats showing that if the woman is in control and has leaderships in the doings, marriages end, I'd like to add that if he's the one making more money but he's the servant, the situation is even more fucked up. That's worse than being a sugar daddy. The Op describes it as

He’s stepping up and he tries to do almost all the chores, he just puts 90% of his (sizeable) income into our joint account in which mostly I manage

With the woman actually managing the money of her husband with NO filter, with NO choice of non violent punishment when the woman fucks up or subtly disrespect the men. Also:

When I’m happy, he gets happy endings and a happy wife

That's ridiculous. He provides way more than an average guy. What do you provide more than an average woman to make it balanced? Except those stupidly called happy endings that he could get anyways by being married to any woman, and except the normal things that women do in order to show gratefulness for the husband provision of resources: doing most of the chores, and "PeRsOnALiTY" that most women have anyways. I really think Op is deluded.

[–]thesloppierthebetter 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's exactly what happened to me. All I wanted was her to be happy and my marriage slipped right through my fingers.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

All that matters is happiness at the end of the day, no? He’s happier and I’m happier. Everyone wins.

You seem to be pro violent punishment of women…?

Where do i disrespect my husband?

[–]you-arent-reading-it 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy Link

You seem to be pro violent punishment of women…?

And you are dumb that you didn't take the time to read the paragraph properly. Also, I can ban you from this sub in a second for that accusation.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy Link

“With the woman actuLly managing the money of her hisband with no filter And no choice of non violent punishment when the woman fucks up or subtly disrespect the men”.

Please explain that. What do you mean “no choice of non violent pubishment”?

Ban me? Idk man. i just asked you a question, you have avoided such question. Maybe the one who ought to be banned is you? Not to mention how many personal attacks you continue to use.

[–]lostwanderer28 -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why do you become personal? Absolutely unnecessary comment.

[–]you-arent-reading-it -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Elaborate.

[–]Admirable_Bee_8714 16 points17 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Because those same men who treat their wives like queens are treated like the servant.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] -1 points0 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

You mean traditional wife role is just like being a servant? And god forbid he does it?

[–]Admirable_Bee_8714 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Isn't that what women have stated about traditional housewives?

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So men believe it too…?

[–]revente 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe. But I don't really know a real-life man who wants his woman to be a trad wife.

Most want a girl whos fun, smart, and has some career.

Usually it's the guy who earns more while she does more at home but it looks like it's balnced most of the time.

[–]litgas 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

How is a traditional wife being a servant?

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Well he’s doing more traditional wife roles in our marriage and someone says he’s being a servant.

[–]litgas 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Hes also being the breadwinner. But in your case he's being a servant and treating you like some prize. All while you do nothing in return but sexual favors. You seriously think you relationship going to last?

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

but lately, he’s been doing a lot more than me and we both happier).

Aaaaaaaaand the death spiral has begun. Once a man gets caught in that event horizon, nothing, not even light, escapes.

[–]SaltyGeekyLifter 7 points8 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

Short answer?

Because you are already beginning to lose respect for him and, slowly but surely, you will end up being contemptuous of and hating him.

And he’s on the same road, no matter what he says.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (33 children) | Copy Link

No. I am gaining respect for him. I wake up in the morning and was like wow, i got to sleep 8 hours straight because of this man who tries his hardest so u can get uninterrupted sleep. Mad respect and i fall in love all over again.

[–]SaltyGeekyLifter 3 points4 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

It won’t last.

Edit: and the seeds of his resentment are already planted.

Is he getting more sex for all this effort?

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (31 children) | Copy Link

He’s not getting yelled at. Lol. When i was doing most of it, he was getting yelled at. He much prefers this.

We’re going to hire some housekeepers next year or so.

[–]SaltyGeekyLifter 5 points6 points  (30 children) | Copy Link

So he isn’t getting more sex. He’s just not getting emotionally abused, because he’s pampering you.

Gotcha.

The thing is, at some point he won’t pamper you enough, and the yelling will start again, so he’ll try to do better and so on and so on.

All the while you will grow more contemptuous of him, and he will grow more resentful of you.

I suggest you do your share.

[–]DivineDaedraChadwife 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I’m against the idea that men should be the ones expected to put more work into relationships.

Balanced contributions are what should be expected in a relationship. If that means he treats you like a queen and you treat him like a king, cool! If it’s one partner treating the other like royalty and not getting the same level of effort then there’s a problem unless that’s what both partners actually want.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Him treating me like a queen gives me energy and time to find ways to treat him well.

[–]litgas 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

When I’m happy, he gets happy endings and a happy wife.

This is all you are doing though. While he does everything else.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Idk where you think that’s all I do. I manage out family assets, do all our taxes, do all the investments, take care of our baby usually between the time I get done with work and bedtime. I provide massages. His personal nurse and doctor, provide occipital nerve injections for his chronic migraines (normally costs like 500$ each). The family secretary, vacation planner, etc.

[–]litgas 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Uh from your OP which made it out that he does the vast majority of everything while you do little in return.

[–]DivineDaedraChadwife 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I think as long as you’re both putting in the effort that’s great.

[–]bludkrazeRED AF 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because youre essentially a mum not a wife. You handle the finances and schedules his tasks. In the end you will get bored of it and he will most likely end up alone or depressed while you take all his money in the worst case scenario. Finally he will end up on redpill forums whining how women are evil.

Basically the issue is you get treated like a queen but he doesnt get to be the king.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How many men have a patient wife willing to listen to him dump on his day? Daily massages? Non-dead bedroom? Personal nurse/doctor? Don’t have to worry about family assets and manage finances?

Define a wife. You said I’m not a wife. Is a wife a house cleaner to you then? Confused how I’m NOT a wife.

Why do you think I’ll get bored? Of what? I think I’d get bored of being sleep deprived and a single mom after a kid and a manchild.

Take all his money. Uh what? You probably assumed I don’t work or something. Hell, I make more than him. If things are divided in half, he walks away with half of my stuff too - which is worth more than half of his stuff.

[–]back_in_blyat 9 points10 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

1 - it permanently sets absurd expectations that you will always hold a man to, this is not healthy. like if I were dating a girl that gave me 2x blowjobs and a full body massage every day, then it went down to once a week, even though I should be grateful for once a week, that expectation is there and i would be disappointed.

2 - what do you do for him above and beyond normalcy like he does for you? after a while he will get burnt and feel like he is not getting any extra effort and will feel like the relationship is lopsided if he treats you like a queen but you don't treat him like a king

3 - female psychology is just by and large predisposed not to want this when the rubber hits the road

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (24 children) | Copy Link

Idk. He’a happy with the way things are. If he feels burnt out, we can rediscuss and shift things around or hire some help I guess. Before I was doing most of the childcare and chores and i was very bitter. Then we tried 50:50 but he never quite got to 50:50 becauze he doesn’t notice all the things that needs to be done. So when he aimed for 75% - he’s probably hitting around 60% of the things around the house. I do whatever he misses.

[–]you-arent-reading-it 0 points1 point  (23 children) | Copy Link

Before I was doing most of the childcare and chores and i was very bitter.

Bitter? Yeah. We know he is a better mother than you, but where is the father?

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (22 children) | Copy Link

What’s the differentiating factor between mother and father? Please tell me explicitly.

[–]you-arent-reading-it 0 points1 point  (21 children) | Copy Link

A father should be a symbol for leadership, a mother should be a symbol for emotional support.

It's demonstrated that women operate better on that level, and men operate better on leadership, it's not "mysoginistic". It just means recognizing reality.

There would be no problem on growing a child by being a single parent if the roles weren't important. Single mothers grow insecure children and it is demonstrated. Single fathers tend to grow self-confident children but they tend to be less empathetic

[–]BumblingBeta 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It opens the door up to being used. Giving you access to all his money so you can spend it how you want is insane. You have complete control over all his finances to do whatever you want with them. The dude sounds so naive.

Women also don't respect men who go to great lengths to please them. As much as women say they want a man to do this, when a man actually does this in reality, she loses all respect for him.

And finally, sexual attraction doesn't work that way. You cannot negotiate sexual attraction. It's either there or it isn't. I'm sure you've heard plenty of stories "my boyfriend is perfect, he's so nice to me, treats me well, but I just don't want sex with him". No amount of helping a woman or doing things for her will make her sexually attracted to you.

[–]you-arent-reading-it 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have complete control over all his finances to do whatever you want with them. The dude sounds so naive.

He is.

As much as women say they want a man to do this, when a man actually does this in reality, she loses all respect for him.

Very fair point.

I'm sure you've heard plenty of stories "my boyfriend is perfect, he's so nice to me, treats me well, but I just don't want sex with him".

That's taking advantage of a VERY NAIVE boyfriend 600%.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’m better at financing than him. He can see where the money is going if he wants. I just manage it, doesn’t mean he’s clueless.

Not respecting him? Why not? He’s doing all he can to make me happy. This makes me want to do all i can to make him happy.

I didn’t say anything about sexual negotiation. But if I’m working and then dealing with a baby, then have to clean up after a manchild, i sure won’t be in the mood.

[–]BumblingBeta 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m better at financing than him. He can see where the money is going if he wants. I just manage it, doesn’t mean he’s clueless.

It really doesn't take more than a few brain cells to manage a bit of money. Seems kind of strange he can't do that for himself.

Not respecting him? Why not? He’s doing all he can to make me happy. This makes me want to do all i can to make him happy.

This is how women work. Even though they think they want a man to do everything to make them happy, when it actually happens, they lose all respect for him. Just the way women are. That's why we hear so many horror stories in the red pill and mgtow sections of the internet of men doing absolutely everything for their wives, but their wives end up leaving them regardless.

I didn’t say anything about sexual negotiation. But if I’m working and then dealing with a baby, then have to clean up after a manchild, i sure won’t be in the mood.

You said you don't negotiate sex, then you listed several negotiating points in order for sex to happen.

Also it's interesting how you're allowed to look after his finances, because he's too much of a baby to look after those. But cleaning up after him? Oh no, you don't want to look after a baby in this way.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well before he had thousands just sitting in a bank account. Depreciating at least 3% per year due to inflation. My money have always been growing compound interest of about 7-10% per year. Even with recent market sinks, i still have net positive like 30%+. He’s bad at budgeting because he can get away without budgeting (he makes enough that money isn’t a concern).

I don’t think you have real evidence of this… maybe this is from your personal bias.

If you are tired, you won’t have a libido. That’s not negotiating. That’s the natural course. You want to have sex with a woman who wants to have sex,,…. Right? (Or are you into forcing women to have sex when she don’t want to? Because that’s a different topic)

Being bad at budgeting isn’t because he’s a baby. Lots of adults are bad at budgeting. But unlike most adults, he makes enough that poor budgeting doesn’t put him into debt.

[–]revente 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nothing. There is nothing wrong with dating a pushover.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is actually a lot of things wrong w dating someone who is stupid.

[–]Bdog5k 2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

You show it off here.

“ when I’m happy he gets…”

What is the financial situation. Is his income most the income?

Do you do anything other than put out when you feel like it?

It sounds like the issue is him doing the most for you.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

He gets massages, nerve blocks for migraines (which normally would cost 500+ out of pocket), a therapist he can dump his daily work on, he gets a free financial adviser and asset manager.

Everyone seems to want to jump on the financial situation. I make more. But regardless how I answer, it will be a “problem”. If I make less, someone will call be a gold digger. If I make more, someone will say I don’t respect him.

[–]Bdog5k 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Nothing is a problem but the 2nd paragraph in the post.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

If i’m unhappy, he has an unhappy wife, and this means no bedroom activity (not even from spite, most people don’t want to havw sex w someone they are upset at).

Not even spiteful. Just facts

[–]Bdog5k 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Do you work more hours then him?

Actually, that doesn’t even matter.

I honestly don’t care about female breadwinners. If you just want to call him a stay at home dad, that’s cool.

The things that’s absolutely retarded is withholding sex for shit.

You can frame it however you want, but the petty “ you didn’t clean so now I’m not happy, no sex for you” charade is insulting.

I wouldn’t be turned off from the kitchen not being done, that’s just bs’ing.

Why mention being upset but not spiteful. Are you upset or not?

[–]Idkyou1990 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because alot of women dont deserve it based upon their actions prior to marriage and women equate being treated like a queen with their husbands putting them on a pedestal and taking care of the majority of things.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why are y’all so obsessed with pre marriage? What matters is your current relationship.

(Yes, i know your past may reflect of your future, but you guys are really obsessed with our past. Are y’all’s past very glorified?)

[–]Drive-By-CuckersWhitePill 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It makes the rest of us look bad when dudes simp

[–]KirthWGersen 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah, it makes the rest of us look self-respecting by comparison.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why is that bad? Why can’t you guys mKe your ladies feel as happy as me?

[–]Purple-Heiss 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If treating a woman like a queen would give you the guarantee that she would treat you well and not even think about cheating on you or suddenly end the relationship...

I may sound very bitter, but, having heard many men's stories, I think there are no guarantees.

[–]Environmental_Lie561 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Married 11 years to a man who treated me like a queen, I never lost interest in him. I’m a widow btw. So I would say that a man should love a woman on the level that she loves herself.

[–]Purple-Heiss 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I hear you.
I'm not saying that there are no women who will treat you well and love you if you treat them well and love them.
The point is that not all women are like that and, because of the times we live in, they seem to be getting scarcer and scarcer.
Maybe I'm wrong but that's my perception today.

[–]you-arent-reading-it 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Also, he's not as happy as he may be. Not as happy as she thinks.

[–]Environmental_Lie561 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well he should be treated like a king as well, she treats him right he treats her right. Basic shit to be honest.

[–]Holiday-Reach-8948 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it depends on what your definition of “treated like a queen” is.

I don’t like the idea of my husband “sucking up “ to me. We are equals. He treats me with respect… that’s more important to me.

And it is not my husbands responsibility to make me happy… sure, we make each other VERY happy, but it’s not a transactional thing.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The point is it's not 50/50.

You have a loaded gun to his head given to you by divorce laws. You can end his life anytime you desire.

If you're confident that your marriage is functional, sign a postnuptial agreement saying if you divorce him without cause, then you'll forfeit the 90% of his income to your joint account.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

No point. I would benefit from a prenup. Lol. I make more money. I just help him manage our money. If anything, i’d probably owe him alimony for at least a year.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh. That's a different impression I got from the post. Sounded like he was the breadwinner.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I just didn’t talk about myself. You guys are the one to jump that gun. But we do live mostly off of his salary. Mine feeds into a side business, and our investments/retirement.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can't blame us though. You only mentioned he contributes 90% into the savings. :)

[–]decoy88A Black Dude♂️ 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s usually not sustainable if the husband feels it’s unequal. Resentment builds.

[–]rurunoa 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

exactly

[–]PMmeareasontolive 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothings wrong if you can find someone who enjoys that. But if, as per your headline, you go in wanting to find a partner who will pamper you, those expectations might be unrealistic, because most people, men or women, aren't going to be hyped about such an arrangement.

[–]Fit-Faithlessness149 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How do you feel when you see a woman doing all the work and sucking up to her man like a puppy dog? Most women would think the man is abusive and she can do better.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends. All depends if they are happy or not

[–]Choice-Garage-5723 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

so to me it sounds like you are not contributing to the relationship at all and he is doing all the work, that is not healthy, step up and start supporting him

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I do support him. He gets his massages, a happy wife to listen and talk to him, someone to help him problem solve. Someone to manage his finances for him. Someone he can build a life with and raise his(our) son with

[–]Wide-Illustrator2906 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

🤔So just massages, no penetration.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You like to be penetrated? He’s not a fan of pegging. We have tried.

[–]shreyastalpade 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bcuz most of these guys are simps who are treating a girl with lifetime streets membership like queen.

[–]DisasterPeace7 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you put her on too high of a pedestal she has no choice but to look down on you🤷‍♂️

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Would this be the same for men?

[–]Kappador66 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Some women also put men on a pedestal. It's a very unhealthy dynamic. Me personally I'd feel very uncomfortable and there are definitely a ton of men who will take advantage of it and make the girl his bang maid.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think both should put each other on a pedestal. You should both try your best to make each other happy and find ways to support each other.

[–]WOPR-19831 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

Hey, if she reciprocates and treats him like a king then no problem. It's wanting to be treated like a queen while espousing this "men are worthless dogshit" attitude modern feminists push then it's a big problem.

And BTW - why is he happier now that he's doing MORE than you? Why does he have to do MORE than you? Ah, yes. Because you're the QUEEN. lololol.

All this bullshit talk from women about "equality" and "equity". Face it:

Women today want to get married, but they don't want to be wives.

Women today want to have children, but they don't want to be mothers.

They want to be waited on hand-and-foot like some kind of rock star or Paris Hilton.

Sorry, not sorry. If you don't have a rich daddy that gives me money so I don't have to work, you're not a queen, I'm not a king and we should share in the workload fairly and equally. This "treat a woman like a queen" or "princess" concept in a day and age of equality, feminism and egalitarianism is deeply flawed.

If you want chivalry back, well, you don't because there were rules for women too, not just men. And women today want to do whatever they want whenever they want.

Besides it reeks of FDS dogma which is just utterly gross.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

He’s happier bc my mood is happier. I don’t have to remind him to do xyz anymore. He aims to do most of the chores so when he forgets a bunch, i don’t feel resentful. There is Jess stress for all Of us.

But i think it’s mostly just that I’m happier and my attitude and energy is way better now. He functions better with less sleep than me

[–]WOPR-19831 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow. So he does "most of the chores" so he doesn't have to listen to you whine about it.

And he functions better with less sleep than you. Wow again.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You sound mad a man is doing the typical woman’s job. That may be a reflection on your sexist belief system.

You may not know this but different people need different amounts of sleep. And different pattern of sleep.

[–]NotARussianBot1984 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Truthfully, how much harder is living with someone vs living alone?

Cooking another chicken brest and another potato doesn't take more work. Laundry is a bit more, maybe need a bit more cleaning. All chores a good man is doing already when solo. You said he puts his money in a joint account, but didn't mention if you work and put money into it, or how much you both spend. Even if so, rich men have been using money to date hotter women since money was invented.

The only issue is: Can you love a man that acts like that forever? So far the only women I've seen say they want a man like that, are ones that have been damaged over a decade of dating abusive assholes (IE: not relationship material).

It all comes down to probablities for most people, and for individuals, it comes down with is that dynamic sustainable?

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I never dated toxic men before. (Thankfully). But i can appreciate a good man.

Our marriage counselor said he was like a puppy, always eager to please me. But he’s a puppy, so sometimes he does dumb shit. Very accurate description of him. Haha.

If i’m well rested, i appreciate his efforts, even if they are poorly thought out. If i was tired, it’s easy for me to point out the flaw in his logic.

Ie. I had covid last week. He went and bought take out steak from a nice place. The dinner for two of us was like 200-300$. Now yes, we can afford this easily, but I’m still cost conscious (I wasn’t always this financially comfortable). I was well rested, so I thanked him for being loving. If I was tired, it could have came out “why did you waste 300? I can’t taste or smell….”

[–]NotARussianBot1984 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I never dated toxic men before. (Thankfully).

Good, it'll be hard to relate to most posters here then.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not as much. My friends have been with toxic AH. Some of them also have been the problem.

[–]TriggurWarning -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Hey, at least you fuck him, some people don't even care enough to do that much.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don’t fuck him. We fuck each other. Sex isn’t a service for one party. I’m not a prostitute

[–]TriggurWarning 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I understand that, but women are often less inclined to have sex regularly than men.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Depends. Just depends. I think they found that it’s a myth that women have lower libido. Idk how strong that paper was though.

For us, we have similar libido. Mine is more affected by mood, his by stress

[–]TriggurWarning 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's good that you two are matched, but sometimes there's a big mismatch, and that's not so much fun.

[–]BlackPillPusher 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Because treating someone like royalty makes you a servant, nobody respects a weakling.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

When do masters massage their servants and help manage their servants financial assets to help them grow their wealth?

[–]BlackPillPusher 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

The moment he gives you all of his money it's not his wealth anymore, which he will very soon find out when you'll get bored with his spineless antics and file for divorce.

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well, we’ve been together for seven years, and I’m still not tired of his “spineless“ actions. Although, there’s a difference between being spineless, and spoiling your spouse. I think men need to learn the difference between that. He’s not spineless. If he believes in something, and disagrees with me, he will stand up to me. He otherwise just doesn’t care much. Also, it sounds like you don’t know how divorce works. If we were to divorce, the assets will be split in half again. Will ignore how I make plenty of money myself, and let’s just pretend it is a single working family household. Instead of splitting (say) $100,000 in half, he gets to split $130,000 in half, and that’s because that extra $30,000 was from investment. Which was purely due to me.

[–]BlackPillPusher 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I absolutely know how divorce works, I've seen the exact scenario you're describing repeat to a T, first you start working part time so he's the main and then later the sole breadwinner when you realize you can just stay at home, do whatever you want and still get access to his money, pop a few kids out, let him pay 35-50% of your mortgage then cry in court about "muh living standards woe is me" and get the sucker's nuts in a vice grip for the next 21+ years.

[–]smallstarseeker 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

It's just that people need to be realistic with their standards. And every high standard we throw on the list makes it more likely that we will remain single.

If you want a rich, handsome, tall well endoved guy which will also treat you like a queen...

Well I hope you are a 9.5/10 otherwise good luck sister.

[–]RStonePTRedPill 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

No one is against them. The idea is it's a cautionary example, beacuse women tend to treat those men worse.

https://www.rianstone.com/blog/shittywomen

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

“All of that bullshit about talking to women, treating them well, having common interests, having compatible personalities, getting along as friends for awhile, then maybe moving things toward sex/relationships later? None of that matters.”

  • i think that article is hugely biased and wrong. Clearly they didn’t ask women about this. Which i’m honestly, not surprised about.

So would the same be for men? Men will be as shitty as you allow them?

Ps. I don’t think anyone should make it a goal to be as shitty as you are allowed

[–]RStonePTRedPill 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Why would you ask women what they think?

Every guy has done this and it's never worked out, what could you possibly say to change that?

[–]InfamousBake1859[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

You interviewed every guy? Or is it bunch of guys who are unhappy talking? Perhaps you should be talking to happily married couples.

[–]RStonePTRedPill 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

If I only talked to guys who reflected what you wanted, would you still be asking me this? Or do you only want a burden of proof if you disagree?

Here, I think you misunderstand. I'm not trying to convince you of anything, I'm telling you what guys in this space have done to solve a problem. That you find it hard to stomach is your problem, not mine.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2022. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter