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Women: why do you think being a male virgin is a redflag?

SILENTCACA
September 26, 2022
11 upvotes
/r/AllPillDebate

I know not everyone think like that but I have seen these opinions sometimes, and as a woman I can't understand it.

Is it not prejudice and generalization?

Is it not machist to think like that? Femenist don't say everyone can live their sexual life how they want? Then why being a male virgin is so bad? It seems like you think men are sexual animals that can't control so if they are virgins it's because they have something weird, Idk, I'm not a man but I feel offended.

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Title Women: why do you think being a male virgin is a redflag?
Author SILENTCACA
Upvotes 11
Comments 43
Date September 26, 2022 4:38 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/women-why-do-you-think-being-a-male-virgin-is-a.1139561
https://theredarchive.com/post/1139561
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/xoogry/women_why_do_you_think_being_a_male_virgin_is_a/
Comments

[–]EviessVeralan 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont think being a virgin is bad. In fact i preferred it when i was still looking for Mr Right.

[–]rurunoa 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i dont think that and prefer low n count/virigin men even

[–]mcove97NeutralPill 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Depends how old the guy is. A guy who's 20+ being a virgin probably lacks confidence. May be insecure. May lack charm. May lack other personality traits that are important and be socially awkward. May be physically unnatractive. May be gay. May be asexual. May be religious. May want to wait for the "right one".

Obviously guys like these are red flags to a lot of people who don't want to date someone with these traits.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excuse me, but I wouldn't call a good part of the things you listed "red flags." They are more like deal breakers.

[–]RatDontPanicAverage Unfrustrated Chump 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

probably lacks confidence. May be insecure. May lack charm.

Which ironically and hypocritically makes him totally unattractive to women with the same flaws. (God, I hate this planet.)

[–]Extreme_Inspection25 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

counterbalance though - strong guy wants cute sweet girl. easy

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Depends how old the guy is. A guy who's 20+ being a virgin probably lacks confidence. May be insecure. May lack charm. May lack other personality traits that are important and be socially awkward. May be physically unnatractive. May be gay. May be asexual. May be religious. May want to wait for the "right one".

Obviously guys like these are red flags to a lot of people who don't want to date someone with these traits.

sorry, but people are red flags for what they can be and you don't know, isn't it better to judge people for what they are or for really serious indications?

Being shy, introverted is a bad thing?

It is so absurd that you put too many options, and it is exactly because this prejudice is based on nothing, it is not the same as a guy who yells at his mother and has machist behaviors, than being an introvert, what is wrong with being an introvert? an introvert is just someone who is hard to get along with, but they can get some relationships with some time and effort.

Is it so hard to understand that we can't all be extroverts?

[–]mcove97NeutralPill 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being shy, introverted is a bad thing?

It's a bad thing to those women like myself who don't want to be with shy or introverted men. I'm not saying that's everyone.

It is so absurd that you put too many options, and it is exactly because this prejudice is based on nothing

It's based on preference. If preference is a bad form of prejudice or discrimination I don't know what to tell you. I wouldn't date hardcore soccer fans either, cause all they chat about is soccer, which I find really annoying personally.

it is not the same as a guy who yells at his mother and has machist behaviors

Obviously not.

than being an introvert, what is wrong with being an introvert?

Nothing inherently wrong with it. All im saying is that it's not everyone's cup of tea or everyone's type.

an introvert is just someone who is hard to get along with, but they can get some relationships with some time and effort.

Of course. That's just not for everyone tho.

Is it so hard to understand that we can't all be extroverts?

Not at all. I think you misunderstood my message. My message was simply about preference, and people with certain traits don't always meet people's standards or preferences. Most women don't really wanna be with someone who's insecure or socially awkvard, for instance. Sure some do, but for a lot of women those things I mentioned are red flags. It is a red flag to me because I dated men like that, and due to their insecurity for instance, they got jealous and controlling.. so like yeah.. a mix of traits usually gives you an idea of who someone are. We all subconsciously judge and analyze people on a daily basis anyway, so you can call it prejudiced, but that's what everyone does to form their opinion on things and people.

[–]EulenWatcher 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't see virginity as a red flag, but a lack of any dating experience in a person older than middle/late 20s is somewhat concerning. Why didn't they date before? Mental issues? A lack of social skills? They aren't social enough?

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why are relationships so normalized? You can't be a lazy person, enjoy other things in your life than chasing and begging for someone to pay attention to you.

dating and meeting someone is not easy.

and what is the problem with having problems with sociability, we all have to be extroverts?

[–]EulenWatcher 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because most people in their 20s have dating experience. Just as they have job experience already.

You don't have to be an extrovert to have decent social skills.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not a good comparison, you HAVE to work if you want to eat, it's a needy, with date you have to date because people will see it bad, if you don't.

Idk how you are, but I'm introvert, even if I want to socialize is always hard and sometimes is tiring, and sometimes simply I want to be alone.

But my question is why is not this judge the same way in both genres?

[–]EulenWatcher 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, dating isn’t a need. It’s a want and most people get it in their teen years.

Older female virgins have issues with dating as well, mostly due to reasons that have stopped them from dating in the first place.

[–]revente 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

The thing is that they don't 'think' that. It's just their instinct. Women prefer successful womanizers because there's a chance that their future sons will be successful womanizers as well.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It may be, but then why do they say on social media that it is a redflag?

[–]revente 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because they genuinely feel that way.

And it kinda is. Men who are weak with women may pass that weakness to their offspring.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

this is disgusting, Why can't men be weak while women can?

[–]revente 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Idk i don’t like weak, shitty women.

If you give them a pass it’s kinda on you.

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

note: im not a woman

sexy sons hypothesis (i.e. if i mate with the fuckboy my son can be a fuckboy too and spread our genes very far)

unfamiliarity with virgins in their own social circles past a certain age

negative stereotypes of virgins being losers and terrorists or (at best) unable to have sex (most of them dont think that deeply about it they just believe what the msm says)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's kinda true tbh. My dad never had a partner till he met my my mom who was sort of like arranged in a different country and I'm pretty much exactly like him. My brother lucked out and was born with gigachad looks though

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

The third point is sad and unfair, women can be so mean as they want, but if a man do that internet explode. (both are shitty)

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

you can say its unfair (and i would even agree) but if your chromsomes include the Y, all your requests will be met with "why?". because they don't really give a shit about us and see us as competitors or predators.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For me it becomes more paradoxical in terms of feminism, because they want to change paradigms in terms of gender, but the reality is that they do not seek to change the paradigm of the macho man, because the strong, arrogant man, the predator is still the good one. which is confusing.

[–]Rook_Cross 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Virgin and chaste no. Virgin and looking at pornography, yes. It's good to be religious.

[–]Siukslinis_acc 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

From what I've seen here, men tend to focus/fixate on their virgin status and they tend to be desparate and explain that thing happen just because they are a virgin as if the world will change if you are no longer a virgin.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yes, but they do exactly that because people judge them, and not only the girls, your friends, your family, your co-workers, everyone judges you and makes fun of you if you are a virgin.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

99% of the time, male adult virgins are unattractive and or autsitic.

[–]BurnaAccount1227 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

....ouch.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

My opinion is very wild. This is what I believe.

It is hard for women to get orgasm during sex or man need skills to please her.Women like to be led by men.Lets say virgin girl is married to non virgin man.He will please her because he learn from experience.If this was virgin guy,it may be awkward.

If I have sex with man,I will immediately think that I am just his tool to learn and he will use this experience to be better lover to other future gf/wife who will get rewards.It benefits guy but not you because your n count got increased which man don't like.

In rpw sub,many women there got married to guy with n count higher than them and they are glad .Guys are too because their wives were virgin.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And you think that experienced men always give orgasms? I don't know, but I've always heard countless women complain about men focusing on their own pleasure.

possibly sex with a virgin can be akward, but if you are looking for a serious relationship and not just a one night stand, is it not possible to teach him and that's it? all experienced men were virgins too.

about "I am just his tool to learn" that can also happen with men with experience, they can want sex, lie you and leave you, use you as a sexual object, this does not depend on experience, it depends on the man. Imagine the case you being virgin, have your first time with a man with experience and that he leaves you, because he only wanted to know how a virgin felt. I find it more disgusting.

[–]SlapThatSillyWillyBlackPill 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

But does it really matter in mating strategic terms if the woman orgasms or not?

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Not 100% but it does matter

[–]SlapThatSillyWillyBlackPill 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why?

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Come on it is obvious

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe my memory is failing, but didn't you say some time ago, in some post on this sub or purple pill, that you preferred a virgin because it's easier to teach him how to have sex, while an "experienced" man might get offended or ignore you if you tell him that is doing something wrong?

This is not a reproach or an attempt to make you look bad. It's valid to change your mind and I'm asking out of pure curiosity.

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol .I don't remember what I said in PPD.Stupid me.You probably read my comments when thread was about n count and sharing man

But I definitely believed that but now my mind is changed.Again this is my stupid opinion.

[–]Slipthe 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I guarantee most women would have no problem getting in the sack with Chris Evans even if he was a virgin. In fact, some women would be like, "Holy shit, someone as good looking as you is saving yourself for me! How noble!"

So it's not the virginity... it's something else.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's virginity, except that in cases where a man is extremely handsome exceptions are made, human beings always do that, not just women.

[–]FastBananaViral 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not a female.

Society has deemed it acceptable to be prejudiced against men, especially low status men. Females are seen as perfect infallible beings and if a male hasn’t been validated by one it means they must be terrible. This is despite the fact the worst of the worst getting sex.

As a low status virgin man I am used to it. I am not offended and I don’t really care

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

(I'm not a woman)

I would like to discuss the two main arguments I notice being made:

-A man with experience can give a son who is just like him and that is why women prefer him and have an aversion to virgins.

>A man with experience may also show little interest in providing nurturing and resources for the baby. Couldn't that cause aversion in many women?

-It's a hassle to teach a virgin man how to have sex and tolerate his mistakes.

>Does sex really require that much practice and skill? Maybe I'm going to expose my V-Card here, but I don't think that so much knowledge is necessary for the people involved to enjoy sex, considering that our brains are quite conditioned to feel this "game" as one very pleasurable.

(I know I said in my last post that I would no longer pay attention to others, but I get the impression that this one was written because of mine, so...)

[–]caption291 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women don't have a problem with a guy that could easily not be a virgin basically the instant he decided to get laid but for one reason or another never decided to do so of his own free will.

What women are actually selecting against is men that can't get other women to sleep with them for the same reason people wear brands and buy expensive phones despite only using them to scroll trough social media.

Which is to say a mix of assuming that if something is expensive/socially proven it must be good and trying to get status from showing that you can be the one that gets the womanizer to settle down with her instead of all the other bitches after him.

​

Or I guess to answer this how I would expect a woman to :It's because it shows a massive problem with him...he's probably not confident and struggles with basic social skills.

I think that's how a woman would answer because it's what gives them the most plausible deniability of their own shortcomings(wanting status and not being mentally independent)

[–]MaruChxnnn 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't think it's a red flag, I just prefer that they at least know a little about what to do and not do it in a rough way, since it has happened to me that they focus on their own pleasure and don't notice if we have a good time.

[–]SILENTCACA[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't know, I think it depends on the man, many experienced men do the same, and I'm talking more about a serious relationship, I think that someone with experience is better for a one night stand.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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