~ archived since 2018 ~

"you don't need a relationship to be happy"

October 19, 2022
9 upvotes

...said the engaged redditor who wasn't making any effort to become single.

how do you respond to this?

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[–]infinitofluxo 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This generation is all about cope.

We need a lot of things to live decent lives. They want us to be ok being sexless, single, fat, eating shit, sharing smelly apartments, dying without owning our own house, stupid low pay jobs. And we can't even admit we are miserable. They take from us all the possibilities to live decently.

[–]KirthWGersen 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I totally agree. I'm happy whether I am in a relationship or not."

or

"You don't need a relationship to be happy, but I do." if you don't agree.

No big deal. An opinion is an opinion.

[–]Draken3000 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, what are you trying to respond with, in what way, and why? Do you just not agree and want a counter argument, or do you want to agree but are struggling to find reasons that will help you?

My personal opinion is that whether or not you need a relationship to be happy is a person to person thing. However, if you’re sad and miserable with your life before finding a partner, the relationship isn’t likely to “make you happy”. It can help facilitate it, but being “happy” is still ultimately something you have to figure out for yourself. And I don’t think I need to get into why making something external from yourself (like a partner) your source of happiness is a recipe for disaster, its been covered before.

[–]Opening_Pattern_301 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

IMO, is not that you dont need it, is that it actually wont bring you the happiness you re searching for, misery will pursue you, because said relationship will be a mediocre relationship where you will be using that person as a way of avoiding your insecurities, and whoever you choose wont seek you as a person neither but as a cover to whatever insecurities they have too, the first step for a happy fullfilling relationship as a man is to be happy and fulfilled by yourself, only that way you can actually approach women withouth anxiety or fear, only that way u can have genuine connection and actually have a relationship that will motivate you to be better, but thats just my experience, take it as you wish,challenge me, do as you please.

[–]social_mule 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't need to agree or disagree with every opinion expressed on the internet. That's how I respond to it.

As for me personally, I agree with this particular sentiment.

[–]De_Carabas_of_Below 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Uh huh. Well, you do you, chickenlips."

[–]Best_Illustrator_137 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But you don’t..if the only happiness you can get from the abundance of things in life is having another human being in your presence then you already lost…when I’m in one happy when I’m not..shocker I’m also happy..lol

[–]caption291 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess the only thing you technically need to be happy is being alive and having a somewhat functioning brain.

So, Anything that doesn't kill you or give you extreme brain damage should be fair game then?

Putting emphasis on what you technically need(which is what a statement like that is doing) rather than what you reasonably need is what intellectually dishonest assholes do. So you just take their logic to the extreme and point out all the things they don't technically need like legs or a sense of safety.

The point is to essentially bait them into having a more nuanced take, at which point them being engaged invalidates their point.

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Tbh i want to improve myself more than i want to get a relationship, im currently working at art and learning other basic things unrelated to art, can't really fix my appearence to something i'd like though which makes me sad

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW)[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

based improvementcel

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I still will die as talentless and ugly cope

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW)[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

we all die ugly jfl but unless you are born st*cy we gotta work to live

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I work at art and learning chores but still i wish i was kawaii it's so dumb

[–]FastBananaViral 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I respond by saying I have never been in a relationship and I have never been happy

[–]Glad-Discount-4761 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is true for man.

If female is saying this,she is lying

[–]BoogersAndSugar 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That comment shows how utterly alien the world of a bottom-10% male is from everyone else. It ain't about a single relationship being some mythical key to happiness. It's about being completely and totally UNWANTED. It's not about the date or relationship. It's about NOT EVEN HAVING THE OPTION! What I've found actually gets through to these people is having them imagine the following:

Imagine you're 35 years old. You've never held a girl's hand. You've never heard the words "I love you" from anyone other than Mom. You never had your first kiss. You're still a virgin, but not by choice. You've never been flirted with. Growing up, nobody has ever had a crush on you. The few times other kids said "so-and-so likes you", it turned out to be a mean practical joke at your expense. From age 15 to age 35, every single time you've tried to get a date, you've been rejected. All your life, all you've ever known was rejection. Some of those rejections were even outright mean, and those women's words still haunt you several years later. The only positive experience you've ever had with women were with your one platonic friend, and your mother. No sexual or romantic experience. Online dating sites, for YOU, have been an absolute nightmare. You've sent out hundreds of contacts, but the only reply you got, after 2 YEARS on the site, was someone who replied back to insult you for daring to think you had a chance! Most everyone else you see is dating, getting married, having sex, etc. But not you, no matter what you've tried. All the advice they give you just doesn't seem to work. You've hired an image consultant to help you learn to dress to impress. You tried working out, but after 3 years in the gym, your skinny frame just won't put on any muscle. You're also 5'3, but can't afford the surgery to get taller. After 20 years of NOTHING but rejection - N-O-T-H-I-N-G but rejection, you've opened up to the concept of dating a girl you know is only settling for you. Because you've never experienced a bad relationship, you assume that's gotta be better than no relationship. At least she'll "love" you for whatever unmet need she's essentially prostituting herself out to you for. At least you won't live completely and utterly alone. Imagine what living this guy's life would do to your mental state.

To borrow a line from a comedy show, they only know what it's like to SEE Steve Urkel. BEING Steve Urkel is so utterly alien to them that it's almost impossible to have a fruitful discussion about it. They have to BE Steve Urkel, at least in their mind for a few minutes, before they can even begin to understand what's actually going on. It really is a whole different ballgame, with a completely different set of life experiences, which leads to a completely different mentality.

[–]Wide-Illustrator2906 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As a man, I don't really need a relationship but I do want one. I do need consistent sex,though. Before I got with my girlfriend I had two FWB'S and was perfectly fine with this setup

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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