Another Man Will Have More Time With My Child Than Me

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-11-09T03:07:17+00:00

Hey...at least you're seeing your kid! My ex only allows 1 visit a week, supervised. And that was after not letting me see them for a year and accusing me falsely of rape (criminally) where I had to PROVE my innocence.

It's an insane world we're living in where your wife can have so many levers to destroy your life. Why ON EARTH would someone allow the legal system to punish one gender so much?

henrysmyagent · 2021-11-09T03:35:42+00:00

The Family Court is where justice goes to die.

25_years · 2021-11-09T00:10:42+00:00

Another Man Will Have More Time With My Child Than Me

But at least you'll still get to pay for the kid, right??

Sorry, man. Dark humor. I can sympathize. My kids are being raised by lesbians who hate me (friends of the ex). Not quite the same, but I know how it feels.

sicrm · 2021-11-09T00:16:10+00:00

and that’s why more men aren’t bothering anymore.

make the most of the time you do get and try your best to never say any negative about her or the other guy.

when your child gets older, they’ll have a bigger say of where they live.

play the long game.

akennerly · 2021-11-09T06:29:35+00:00

I was a full-time stay-at-home dad for eight years and then told it was a miracle that I got 50/50, but if the genders had been reversed, I would have maybe gotten two weekends a month.

pegleg_legal · 2021-11-09T01:41:49+00:00

That's rough. I'm sorry to hear this.

Glass_whole19 · 2021-11-09T01:54:39+00:00

May I ask why the judge made that decision? Why couldn't the judge see you are the father you say you are? Just remember, at some point your child will be able to say or influence which parent they are with. Hang in there!!!

Pheliont · 2021-11-09T04:48:57+00:00

FWIW, I'm kinda the other man in your situation. My gf has sole custody of two children where the father is about 4 hours away and they've been divorced for over 5 years. They honestly have a a good relationship when it comes to the kids and he gets them often, would be more but distance and work issues arise. Both of them are adult enough to realize to do what's best for the kids.

From my perspective I know that I'm not dad nor will I ever be dad nor do I try to be, but I do help where I can. Title wise at most I'll be step dad if we ever get married. But if something comes up mom is always the first call and if she is unable to do whatever it is, I'll take care of it, because the kids are kids and they need an adult and I'll do what's best for them.

Ok_Cucumber_3402 · 2021-11-09T12:29:22+00:00

There are endless amounts of stories like yours, yet women are constantly going on about deadbeat dads who aren't in the picture or don't want anything to do with them... yet when men are good fathers like yourself who care about their kids and want to spend as much time with them as they can, women take that away to inflict pain on men. Then somehow society wonders why men stop signing up for this shit. I really hope this all works out for you, and when they're older they decide to come live with you and see her for who she really is. Oh, and if anyone says anything like this outside of this sub, it's patriarchal misogyny blah blah men bad. Fuck I hate today's society. Sorry if that wasn't a helpful response, just ranting a little there.

jalopkoala · 2021-11-09T02:10:50+00:00

The worst. Sending good vibes.

BlessedAFx777 · 2021-11-09T02:58:46+00:00

See how these nasty bitches do you dirty.

BlendedChaos2012 · 2021-11-09T14:25:20+00:00

The word “visitation” is a joke. You get a whopping 4 days to “visit” your child. Then as they get older, other interests will be more important to spending time with dad. Mom will make sure your child is submerged in sports and other activities that conveniently fall on your weekends.

Then she moves 48 miles away, just making the 50 mile rule for relocation and now you’re spending your visitation taking them to their soccer games and hour away from where you live. Throw in the fact they have to sleep, you’re lucky to get a few hours every month.

Then she complains that your the “Disney Dad” because all you do with your time is fun things. But god forbid you punish your child during visitation, that’s wrong too.

You’ll never win.

The kicker is she decides to convince your child to go to her alma mater 8 states away, moves with him and now if you want to see your kid it’s not an hours drive, but a plan ride away. That’s if they have time for you.

Maleficent_Theory_25 · 2021-11-09T00:00:40+00:00

It is because men have failed politically and allowed feminism to take over the family courts. Now you see the end results - men are second class citizens.

Very obvious what happened here. You've been stripped of your rights as a man.

bobbyb503 · 2021-11-09T01:49:12+00:00

Don't give up bro. My ex started dating a dude. She pushed my kids on him, actually sent them on icecream dates. I was adamant about meeting him. I met him and let him know "Under no fucking terms that he would replace me in my daughters lives. PERIOD." I reminded him that my ex and I had trouble concieving our first child and I had had to pump several gallons of cum into my ex in order to concieve. My ex's hormones prevented her from concieving at first and when she took a supplement, we got a kid. Ironically I was villified and blamed at first. I have a large sperm count, it wasnt me.

I also let him know that god didn't find his DNA worthy fto reproduce, thus making him unworthy of being a father. I cracked his intial resolve and he let me know," He would be a better dad then me and would provide better for them than I could." I found out his dad had left him and his mom at an early age, I reminded him that even his dad thought he was worthliess. I know... I know... dirty shit. Not cool.

His fragile ego couldn't handle it and he ended the relationship. I know it was a douche move, but it worked. My ex returned the favor and damaged my relationship with a gal I was seeing. Its 9 years in, the fighting stopped and she and I are both single and miserable. We seem to be at more peace that way.

I was a really nice person before this shit happened. Turn the other cheek type. I feel like a guy that went to prison and came back mean. I have a wonderful relationship with my kids, but understand my scorched earth theory has dome some damage. I am not advocating being a jerk, but It worked.

Being nice just gets you fucked. Tupac is my mantra some days, "Me against the world." No one helped me, supported me or defended me unless I paid them. There are no fair fights and sometimes the best lead is kicking the motherfucker in the balls with all you have.

I have gotten into several on-line fights and have banned from a few sub-threads. I am expecting to get comments from guys saying. "Mate, you need to accept the other man, be the better man, there's nothing you can do, be friends with the other man." I say No. I've compromised enough.

Best wishes

skaelee · 2021-11-09T11:51:45+00:00

Currently in the same situation since a few days ago (haven’t been to a court room and she hasn’t taken me to court) but a few days ago she tells me I won’t see my daughter again I laughed cause she’s gotta be fucken joking right ? No she takes my daughter and I haven’t seen my daughter in days ,sure I could take it to court but after hearing what your going threw it’s probably still not gonna end well for me so why even try ? This world fucken sucks all of these children (girls ) mostly are growing up to be fucked up and it’s all thanks to these shitty mothers alienating us fathers and the government helping them do it

Jonger1150 · 2021-11-09T13:15:50+00:00

How did you ex portray you in court?

RedPillLense · 2021-11-09T13:54:03+00:00

I completely understand and sympathize with you, brother. The family court system is corrupt and unjust. Keep fighting the good fight, be patient and do nothing that will hurt your chances at more time with your child. Do you have a lawyer? Sounds like you don't. If you do not, and you want to increase your chances at a 50/50 custody share of your son, I strongly suggest you lawyer up! I was in the same boat you are now, got hosed by the judge with child support and visitation. I got a lawyer and within a year, I had my 50/50 custody share AND child support at $400, down from $1600 a month. Stay strong!!!!

oldskoolflavor · 2021-11-09T16:20:56+00:00

I feel bad for you man. Although I am almost in the same boat. In what state are you in? Was there something she alleged for the court to deny any more parenting time for you? Accusations of something?

rsmiley77 · 2021-11-09T18:16:21+00:00

You know guys I keep hearing this (judges hating on men) is some new way of looking at things but that’s 100 percent wrong. New young (often times liberal) judges now recognize the importance of both the father and mother in custody. Yes there are still these old school ass backwards judges out there that think it’s the moms job to raise the children and their role alone. These judges are retiring out though and judges who get it are moving in.

We actually just had a post over the past two weeks talking about a judge who ‘gets’ it. He halved child support due in a 50-50 custody case. Why? Because child support does not adjust adequately to account for a split parenting plan.

Btw I am so sorry that you don’t have an ok custody agreement. It makes me really upset.

RedPillLense · 2021-11-12T04:24:50+00:00

Forget about college! Focus on your son first. Most colleges are crap nowadays. Nothing but indoctrination camps. Anyhow, if you're lawyer isn't working hard for you, fire his/her ass immediately! Get yourself a good one that has years experience and has proven results based in his reviews.

5w3ggy · 2021-11-09T03:10:29+00:00

Play the long game, be super nice and accommodating. The new guy will get tired of being a full time dad for someone else’s kid. He may eventually pressure her to go 50/50 in the future.

Make the appearance of being supportive, to the point of even being joyful for the situation. Even befriend the guy is he ends up sticking around for a long time. Then consider going out to lunch with him sometime to get to know him. After a good long while, drop the idea of taking the kids or offering to watch them so they can have time away from the kids. Build up custody time, but don’t say anything about child support. Pay it.

Then after a few years of being so helpful and friendly, drop the idea of taking the kids more regularly. He might welcome the idea and pressure her to go for it.

Then once you have him pressuring her and you’ve built up some custody time that she gives away, file for 50/50 again and show you’ve had them closer to 30/70 or whatever.

As a bonus, eventually he may drop a few hints that she’s a headache or being a bitch or whatever. Then you can share a few things he can do to push buttons. If you got sick of her, he might too.

Play the long game.

Rough-Area4765 · 2021-11-09T03:00:01+00:00

As Bobby said, “go scorched earth” on the mf. I got in my ex’s love interest’s face then I filed a protective order against him. He was forbidden to be around my kids since he “threatened” me. That relationship ended faster than you can say “see ya”. If your ex wants to do monkey double back flips with another man, have at it. But kids aren’t going to be in the same house.

I plan on ruining every relationship she has. Period. She can do the same. That’s what is expected.

DCnative2020 · 2021-11-09T23:17:40+00:00

you have to be leaving something out? Judges nowadays are more open to granting 50/50 custody to fathers. I know a guy who got multiple DUIs, basically an alcoholic, ex wife had so much dirt on him and he STILL got 50/50 custody of the 2 kids.

Welcome to the shittiest club on earth. I went through the same a few months back my kids now call the new guy "Dad"

RedPillLense · 2021-11-12T15:26:33+00:00

I sympathize with you, I went through t hgt e same bullshit. I got through by picking up an extra hustle to get me through. Find a way to make more money to keep you afloat. I know you're in a bad spot but be strong and don't let this shit beat you down emotionally. Find a support group, that is always good.

JustMeHere-_- · 2021-11-12T19:22:34+00:00

Fight for your children. They need you just as much as much. Don’t forget that.

25_years · 2021-11-10T16:14:13+00:00

To /u/flapjackdavis and any other limp dick who was offended that I went after Hillary, maybe this will soothe your injuries. HERE IS Michelle Obama getting a laugh when she suggests that a nation without leadership is like "living with your divorced dad".

Get it? It's funny because men are totally irresponsible for their own kids!!! Gosh, that's hilarious.

Title	Another Man Will Have More Time With My Child Than Me
Author	InAJam_SoS
Upvotes	52
Comments	107
Date	November 8, 2021 11:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qpqqxe/another_man_will_have_more_time_with_my_child/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/another-man-will-have-more-time-with-my-child-than.1085140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085140