My wife filed for divorce, we have been married 4 years with a 4 year old and 2 year old. After our first court hearing basically her entire crazy temporary orders were disregarded (me paying child support while we still live together, her getting sole custody while we still live together, etc...) And we are maintaining status quo. We're still sleeping in the same bed, we still do most things together as we always have. We had a great weekend and took the boys to a zoo and went out to dinner afterwards as a family. It literally feels like this isn't actually happening and it's so goddamn bizarre to me. Her attorney kept reiterating to the judge that "things are so bad in the home currently and she is uncomfortable there" to me that seems like a blatant lie and I continue taking pictures of us together as a family, which she willingly smiles for.

This whole process has been so bizarre to me. I don't know if she's acting or actually enjoying these times or what. I asked to give her a hug a couple weeks ago after we talked, she said no, but thank you for asking. Then not even a week later she comes home from work, extends her arms and says she needs some love and wanted a hug from me. My dumbass obliged because I really don't want this, but I also won't continue to live like roommates/friend zoned by my spouse. We've been intimate maybe three times this year.

My mother in law baby sits for us while I work from home and told me all about a zoo she took her other grand kids to. I sent her pics of us at this zoo and told her she should check it out sometime because I know she would enjoy it. I have always had a great relationship with my in-laws. She said "fun, my heart hopes..."

I have a feeling her parents are supporting her only because she is their daughter, but deep down they are like wtf is she doing. I know my worth and deserve to be happy. I think I am "happy" because life is comfortable. We have our routines and basically just do what we do. I don't think this marriage truly makes me happy anymore and I am in fantasy land of what it could be, not what it really is. She's a great mother and I'm a great father, but now that we're this far into the process I don't see resolution happening. The unknown scares me simply because I've never 100% lived on my own, but I also can try and embrace that and think of all the possibilities of this next chapter of my life.

Guess this is more of a rant post than anything, but I see a lot of them and I know for me it helps to just let this shit out.