Child Support is so Heinous

OMJ2SA · 2021-05-19T22:54:32+00:00

Consider yourself lucky at $500 friend

But seriously. I get it. Hard pill to swallow every month.

ChesterCopperpotSr · 2021-05-20T01:43:16+00:00

I hear you. Was 50/50 with my 3 kids until she signed for 2 kids 50/50 and one every other weekend. Went from me paying $365 a month plus all her bills to me getting $118. She has failed them every step of the way. Disgusting and ofcourse she wants to change that now that she pays. She'll have to take me to court for that. Do good by the kids thats all we can do.

jlmsquared · 2021-05-19T23:19:19+00:00

Be happy at $500. I am at $3750 for 5 years between child support and spousal support . I have full custody of my son (17) and she has full custody my daughter(15).

macscheid · 2021-05-20T11:17:09+00:00

I pay 3500 to my ex a month which helps keep her mouth on another dudes cock. It could be worse. Just sayin'.

sicrm · 2021-05-19T23:16:15+00:00

bide your time.

look up the age kids testimony means more for custody and make your home a great place to stay.

humanpuppy · 2021-05-20T05:04:31+00:00

Its stories like this that make me never want to get married or have a kid.
I might be overreacting, but thats just where I am right now. Im sorry you have to deal with all that bs. :(

How long did you two know each other?

Snowbirdy · 2021-05-20T07:30:10+00:00

I feel you. I have to pay over $2000 a month for two children. Although my ex does not have the substance-abuse issues, she is living her dream life with the new husband and the house that was purchased with my alimony payment. She works a very undemanding job with fixed hours so she never has to be working in the evening or weekends, completely abandoning the six-figure career she used to have. This is also strategy on her part so I have to pay for college, since tuition is tied to a formula around relative income.

I comfort myself by saying that the money is going to enable my children to enjoy a good quality of life in a nice town and a nice house, even if the new husband and his child from a prior lover are also getting the benefit of it. He is good with my kids, at least, and all the kids play together well.

Just focus on how this helps your kid and ignore the rest because you can’t do anything about it.

pharmd718 · 2021-05-20T10:04:12+00:00

Smoking pot is a federal crime. Demand the court issue a blood test. Take full custody based on results. Have her pay you child support

IndifferentSkeptic · 2021-05-20T01:09:23+00:00

https://youtu.be/196XCAXfqrI

Child support is a scam that sends huge amounts of money to the state and local attorneys. It forces parents that could be amicable to be constantly fighting, over money.

The link I posted is a video about a study that shows the actual cost of raising a child and how child support is bullshit.

awesomeroy · 2021-05-20T02:25:50+00:00

im sorry man. dont know what to tell you. here in texas almost 3/4 goes to the state. we have 50/50 custody but insurance wise i need to pay my share.

she gets basically nothing from what i pay.

redveinlover · 2021-05-20T19:02:57+00:00

$1500/month for two kids plus $1k on top for vaginamony. Losing half of my take home pay to feed her horses while my kids eat 30 cent boxes of Mac and cheese for dinner most nights is very rough to deal with. This country is so fucked with how divorce law and child support works. There should be a requirement to show proof that the support is directly benefiting the child, either with food/clothing/school essentials receipts or anything like that. Instead it can literally legally be spent on anything frivolous and there’s nothing we can do about it. Every time I get my kids, they are sent to me with almost no clothes which are too small, destroyed shoes, even once my daughter came with zero underwear. The excuse? “Just get your dad to buy you some new ones, he has lots of money.” Actually no I don’t, and the money I pay YOU is supposed to pay for those things that the kids need. And yet the courts grant the mothers custody 99/100 because they’re supposedly the responsible ones. It’s just sickening.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-05-19T23:15:03+00:00

Yea $500 is a break. You need another perspective. You are doing your financial duty as a father and I am sure you are also doing more than just financial duties. Your ex should not even be in your view. What she does with that money will be on her conscience and will be noticed by your child at some point. Plus if she is on a shitty route then you may end up with custody. So I say let her do her worst. It will take a toll and on the end you will win.

Mavik52 · 2021-05-20T01:07:27+00:00

Stop giving away your power. Control the things you can control, and let go of the things you have no control over. You have no control over child support. The only way it can upset you is by the story you give it. If you pay child support to fund your ex and pay for her addictions, then yeah you going to be pissed. If you pay child support to give your child the things they need, then it's great, you are being a good father. You can't control the way the money is spent, so stop framing the story in a way that upsets you. Frame it in a way that makes you proud. That you control.

jimsmythee · 2021-05-20T15:32:10+00:00

You didn't mention alimony. But you don't mention alimony, so be so thankful that you don't have to pay it. Because Child Support is necessary, and Alimony is a crime.

My ex tried to go for 50% of my take home pay in alimony because she's "too sick to work." When it reality, she's just a non-functioning pill popper always in the gray fog. Judge said in her ruling, "Alimony Denied!" because there was no evidence she couldn't work.

My ex tried to get full custody and me to get visitation only because "Only a horrible person would take away kids from their loving mother." This "loving mother" got a "DUI with kids in the car." Even then? Best I could do was 50/50 custody. I still pay her child support based on what I actually make, versus what she is capable of making "minimum wage at 40 hours", even though her actual income is $0.

So 18 months post divorce, she and her new husband were running low on cash. She could have bitten the bullet and got a job? Hell to the no! She re-submitted child support paperwork listing her as having $0 income and me only having visitation, new calculations would have quadrupled my CS. I filed a request for a hearing, and the judge threw that request out. But in those 18 months post divorce, I got 2 raises at work, so my Child Support went up by a little bit.

BlackmesaTBX · 2021-05-20T17:06:33+00:00

As others have said - Alimony is straight extortive theft, grift and wealth redistribution.

But I think child or spousal support, the only real constructive path forward seems to be see it as a freedom tax and an opportunity to educate your kid about money matters (hopefully without demonizing your ex).

Try to use this situation to pass a lesson on - setting boundaries, not getting entangled with the state, maybe an investment app that you “both” put money into for his future (since his moms pot won’t put him through college)

bridd84 · 2021-05-21T01:22:21+00:00

An attorney could help you file a complaint for modification to reduce child support by adjusting for her income and imputed income from the money she’s saving living with her parents. 80% is so high! Maybe that could free up some money to spend on your kiddo.

Soggy-Selection8940 · 2021-05-20T00:59:50+00:00

I'm sorry you may not want to hear it, but I can't feel sorry for you paying $500 a month in child support.

We can bitch about alimony together all day long. But no man should ever complain about paying child support.

Not sure about where you live, but where I live CS is a table amount, not influenced in the slightest by what she spends her money on, only but how much she makes in relation to what you make.

$500 a month so that your kid doesn't have to eat Kraft Dinner when he's at his mom's? That's the last thing I would complain about.

All that negative energy is going to eat you up inside. Use that energy for good and you will find ways to make up for that $500 a month and then some.

EricKingCantona · 2021-05-20T01:00:27+00:00

My child support is my ex's sole income source. You just gotta take this in the stain, brother.

kapriece · 2021-05-20T04:45:30+00:00

Brother just be patient eventually you'll get over the anger you feel towards losing that money every month. Also you have to be mindful that it is a losing battle. The laws don't care at the time what she spends the money on and you have no control over it I just try not to think about it. Hopefully you're in a non-weed legal state and she gets busted then you get full custody and you don't have to pay anymore. Or the other option is to prove her unfit and get the courts to order a drug test or even calling a few welfare checks with the police department and hopefully they catch her.

I've been paying the child support for going on 2 years now and I'm still angry about it I pay $1,300 a month and one of the children isn't even mine. I was deployed during the time frame that that child would have been conceived and because we were married and she had the child the law says in my state they assume the children of the marriage are yours. I was married 17 years. The child in question is 12. Brother it does get better just do what you need to do to keep her far away from you and try not to look so flashy so she doesn't get that itch and ask for an increase. I maintain a low profile and act like I'm poor all the time because $650 per child is more than enough in the state that my ex-wife lives in.

I find the most comfort in knowing I have my freedom and the money I get to keep. In a marriage these bitches think all the money is up for grabs. Like no bitch we got bills and rent. My dumbass tried to challenge the child support people I court and through discovery I went from $900 per month to now $1300. I should've left it alone. Just take your lumps and get a better job whole keeping a low profile. You'll be ok.

Loovleh · 2021-05-20T06:39:53+00:00

This is just insane.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2021-05-20T14:54:14+00:00

She's got addictions? Prove it and file for full custody.

Title	Child Support is so Heinous
Author	MYNAMEMANSIR
Upvotes	40
Comments	58
Date	May 19, 2021 10:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ngjh3y/child_support_is_so_heinous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/child-support-is-so-heinous.816973 https://theredarchive.com/post/816973