Good news is everything has been signed by both parties and will be sent to the judge. I am as happy as I can be with the settlement, I still wish at times things were different, but I keep telling myself this is for the better. She is the one who filed. She still hasn't closed on her new place yet, I'm keeping the house. So she still plays wife almost daily, she is a good mom, but there will always be the part of me that loved her and having her here every day and interacting like normal has been hard on me. Being a single dad really started to hit me the other day after I signed the documents. Not having another adult in the house to be able to rely on or help kind of scares me. But I know in time I will settle into this new life.

Living with her is still such a mind fuck and I truly don't know if it's her intention to hurt me mentally in the way she is. I've been setting boundaries of what I will and won't do with her and the kids. I am very present with them, but I don't feel obligated to do certain activities together anymore. She can take them places and so can I. I recently joined a new gym and she asked me how much it costs just out of curiosity. Said it's too much for her to afford, I said okay.. then asks me if I can bring a friend included in my membership and I said I'm not sure, but who would I bring? ( My friends live 20+ min away and it wouldn't make sense) and she said "if you bring me I'll wear my bathing suit" and in my head I'm like wtf kind of remark is that.

The unknown of what's to come scares me, I've never lived completely on my own before. I look forward to it and know it may end up being the best thing for me, but I also think once she is out of this house I will feel a huge relief. Just doing my best to get through the holidays with as little stress as possible and hopefully she will close on her place soon and be out of here.