I knew the toll a divorce would take. Here in CA, it is about a 6 month process thats if its amicable. One of my last ideas I offered to minimize the impact on the children because they remained at the forefront, and an idea that might work for some of you, was nesting parenting. I had proposed that we kept the kids and marital home in place, we would rent a studio:

Month 1: Me at house with kids, her in studio (week on week off swap)

Month 2: Two week then swap (Begin Divorce Paperwork)

Month 3: Three weeks then swap (Who ever files, serves)

Month 4: Me at home with them for a month (Initial Hearing, Mediation)

Month 5: Her at home with them for a month (wait for final hearing)

Month 6: Finalize divorce, children would have been adjusted to separate households minimizing emotional toll and mental health issues, finances would have not been as impacted, done everything amicably. Custody plan in place. etc etc etc. Final Hearing/rulings.

Through six month period, WE could have handled divorce paperwork without involving lawyers, mediators etc.

In my case it didn't work, she rejected the idea, she felt I was trying to control bla bla bla, It was my last ditch effort to minimize impact on the kids, she had already planned her "escape" and walk away to move in with the AP, disregarded common sense and the children.

I'm posting because finding this group has helped me a lot reading to stories with Fathers that just have no clue how to proceed, this idea might help others out there because it's possible and lawyers are fucking expensive!