So we have decided to divorce and I need some help with a few questions from others.

How did you know how to think about what you can afford for a new home? I know I’m on the hook for alimony (long term since it’s a 21 year marriage - ugh), but in MN where I live there’s no real formula. Do I need to wait until this is settled before I know what I have to spend on a house? Or is it better to have that housing cost figured out now so it factors in what I can afford for alimony? Or is that not even considered?

Then if I figure out what I can afford, should I buy a house now or wait until the divorce is final? Things are amicable-ish but I know that can change once the process gets really going. We are living separately in the home together now and have two kids (15 and 13). She will keep this house but will have to buy me out. I have some of my own money (inherited so she can’t touch) that I could conceivably put as down payment if I buy something. I wouldn’t buy anything without telling her so she would also feel ok with it for the boys. Once we tell the kids about divorce I’d love to be able to show them where they will be living when with me. We have already discussed 50/50 parenting time. I feel like that will take some of the unknown of divorce and the living situation out of it for them.

I’ll get some professional advice too but figured you guys might have some insight right now for me.