I wish my controlling stbx would settle at 50/50 and we could just move on. We had mediation Thursday and I got steamrolled, but didn't sign shit. I was basically going to have Wednesday overnight, all day Thursday (but they'd go to her Thursday night) and then I'd get every other weekend. It's fucked and she's being so evil. According to her she can't be away from the kids any longer, who the fuck says I can???
I was unhappy with my attorney at mediation I am calling him Monday (couldn't even get ahold of him Friday) and telling him he's either going to be as aggressive as the other side, or I'm going to find someone else to represent me. I am going to tell him I want 50/50 and I will not budge from that. There are no circumstances in our relationship or our children's lives that would deem 50/50 unfit. It's ALL my wife being selfish as fuck and a control freak and since she's the mom she's getting whatever the fuck she wants. I spend so much time with my kids, I usually put our youngest to bed every single night. I do a lot of activities with them which my wife does not participate in. Bike riding for example they absolutely love, my wife does not have a bicycle. We have 5 acres and I maintain everything here and also made a bunch of trails through the woods on our property for us to walk, bike, and explore. It's like we live at the park and I can't believe she wants to throw all this away. Yet she says I'm the one who's not thinking about the kids.
I work from home and have zero set schedule, the mediator tried telling me I can't watch the kids and work. Literally the day before mediation my wife was working and we had no babysitter. I didn't even take the day off. I worked before the kids woke up, I worked at their naptime, and I worked after they went to bed. In the mean time I took them to the park, we rode bikes, got lunch. After their nap they wanted to go back to the park so we did. Sure I have busier work days where that would be tough, but I also have a mother who will babysit when I need her. My mother in law would too and she is sad as fuck about what her daughter is choosing to do.
The mediator also brought up a past client and influenced my wife to take her half of my 401k. My wife told me from the day she filed that she does not want to touch my 401k because we'll be a part of each other's lives forever because of the kids and she doesn't want me to resent her for that... The mediator said she had a woman 6 years ago sign a document "I know I am legally entitled to this money, but I am refusing it". 5 years later the woman comes back to the mediator and says "why would you let me do that? I need that money". So because of this woman my wife is told she "has to" take that money.... This is bullshit.
Since I work from home, and my STBX doesn't, I think it makes total sense that any day she is at work should be my day with the kids because my time with them takes precedence over the kids going to her mom's house on Monday to be babysat while she works. They could be here with me and she can come here to babysit like she has in the past. I always engage with the kids while I am working. My desk is in a room of the house that they spend most of the time playing in while they're inside. I also take breaks to play with them or run errands with them, whatever I need to do.
I had my house appraised and pointed out to the appraiser the issue with my basement where water seeps between the floor and wall. I would have to disclose that for a sale anyway, and it's best for the appraiser to know the condition of the home. So the appraisal was lower than expected because of the condition. Her attorney said I "torpedo'd" the appraisal as if I hired a friend to low-ball the house... It was some random place I picked from Google. So in mediation (even the fucking mediator) says we'll Zillow says the value of the home is X (nearly 100k more than the appraisal). So let's split the difference they say. What a joke, I am also telling my attorney absolutely no fucking way are we using Zillow as a home appraisal and I can't believe any of these professionals would even consider that as a viable option. My wife can pay for her own appraisal, disclose the condition of the house to her appraiser (or like that there are no issues) and we can split the difference of that.
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