How do you react to your well-meaning friends trying to "set you up"?

cloudburr · 2021-11-07T19:18:45+00:00

"Most of the problems in my life have been caused by a woman, and you think the answer is another woman?"

bobbyb503 · 2021-11-07T18:56:05+00:00

My progressive sister, tried setting me up with a dude at a party she was throwing. I'm not gay, just divorced. He had just came out and I guess she wanted me to try? We still don't talk anymore (my choice). A good friend whom remarried for the 3rd time, keeps telling me, "I need a good woman". Yet, most of our conversations are him complaining about her and her kids. His new wife keeps sending me photos of her "single" obese co-workers in attempt to "help me".

I'll wait for something more organic to transpire. I gave up on online crap, that's as bad as looking for used cars. No need to compromise; in fact I am pickier on character than appearance, but am adamantly not attracted to women larger women. I actually stopped a date once and told her ,"It was nice to meet her", paid the bill and left. She was recently divorced and the whole date was her bitching about her ex. I figured if this is her "best", image her "worst". It's quite empowering to stand up for yourself. Lonely but empowering.

dadmacintosh · 2021-11-07T19:11:05+00:00

You know the deal. You have been married before. Why would you even do it again? Unless you are a masochist, I suggest telling everyone to F off and mind their own business. That said, you casually date when/if you are up to it. But never cohabitate, or marry.

sicrm · 2021-11-07T19:01:43+00:00

“I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I appreciate you trying to help but I’m not interested.”

Ok_Cucumber_3402 · 2021-11-07T22:16:05+00:00

Easy lol I just straight up told everyone in my life I have zero interest in dating, end of story. If someone still brings it up I cut them off with a swift no thank you, not interested. Or if they bring up dating I ask them why they don't divorce their spouse and spend their life having fun with their hobbies like me haha.

WartimeDad · 2021-11-07T19:38:26+00:00

Well just be picky af.

nomdeprune · 2021-11-07T20:21:56+00:00

I find myself wondering why people do it. It seems to be really important to some of my friends that I should be partnered up, and they get kind of annoyed when I’m ambivalent about it.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-11-08T03:32:20+00:00

Is it coming from a place of caring? or are they miserable and they want you to be just as miserable?
I suspect some of them are subconciously jealous of your freedom and want to have you setup so you're just as miserable as they are. I've thought about this often.

Jedi_Cornbread · 2021-11-08T19:32:56+00:00

Well, I'm in the I'll try anything once phase. I am rolling with it. I am upfront with the women about where I am with my divorce and recovery from divorce. I've met some great women falling.more.into the friend category now, but a month or two from now when I am more comfortable....who knows.

Wish you all the best with it. Don't be afraid to get out there some.

to174jay · 2021-11-07T18:58:52+00:00

Quit being a bitch and tell them to stop. Ffs

DeletedLastAccount · 2021-11-07T21:16:10+00:00

I conquered that conundrum by not having any.

Honestly I might welcome it.

McWhiffersonMcgee · 2021-11-07T22:04:23+00:00

Wish I had your problem, but I would require photos first.

Gattsama · 2021-11-09T13:24:19+00:00

If it's a women say 'Thank you, I appreciate that, but it's too soon. I'm not ready, I still have so much healing to do."

If it's a guy say 'I escaped from the plantation, what kind of sell out house Ni&&er are you to try to sell me back.'

Beautiful-Nebula1748 · 2021-11-08T07:05:31+00:00

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Title	How do you react to your well-meaning friends trying to "set you up"?
Author	Metallicatica
Upvotes	8
Comments	23
Date	November 7, 2021 6:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qouoor/how_do_you_react_to_your_wellmeaning_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-you-react-to-your-well-meaning-friends.1085388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085388