... keep going.

New to this sub. Divorce process 4 years and counting. Hell. And yet I am more succesful and the best Man I have ever been in my life.

For any Men out there I will share with you what works for me, even though it is a fight every day:

  1. Stop whining and complaining. It serves nothing except to give power to the Woman you thankfully left. Be bitter or be better.

  2. Body Mind Heart Soul. You are not the best Man that you can be. Take the time to better yourself in every facet of your life now that you have freedom: BODY: hit the gym, eat better, clean yourself up. Shave. Sleep. MIND: read positive books and articles that have NOTHING to do with divorce. Watch documentaries. HEART: be the loving Father, Friend, and co-worker you should be. SOUL: connect with God. Go to church or temple or whatever. Watch TD Jakes and Joel Osteen. Come to realize that there is a Higher Power that is going to make you grow to be the Man that Witch would not let you be

  3. Stay away from Women and flings. Do not date right away. If you are not the best Man you can be yet (see 2 above) then you will make the same mistakes and get eaten alive.

  4. Stop talking to people about the Divorce to get sympathy. It won’t help you. If you have to talk to somebody, find a Man who went through it or is going through it.

  5. Work your ass off. Make money. Work harder, better and smarter. Amazing how many problems can go away if you have a shitload of money in the bank.

  6. Do not engage with your soon to be Ex. Don’t talk to her on the phone or text her except if it is about the kids. Short brief texts. She will try to bait you into saying or doing something stupid. Then you will be facing an Order of Protection and may be forced to see your children in the courthouse only once per week.

  7. Be positive at all times. Anybody wants to ask you about the divorce or your shit, don’t talk about it. “I’m great. One day closer to full freedom.” Most Men whine and complain about everything, their jobs, their families, their Ex. Change the subject.

  8. Know that you are a great Man and that you will get through this. But you have to get through it alone. No crutches, no shoulders to cry on. Man the FUCK UP.

  9. Make yourself bullet proof. Nothing anybody says or does affects you. Take the pain. It will make you stronger and better. You will become the Man that your kids need, and that your next Woman will love and respect.

  10. Look into something called the Sterling Men’s weekend. It will change your life. Google Sterling Institute of Relationship.

I hope this helps at least one of my Brothers out there. Stay strong and God bless you.

Russo